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-- BF/GFs who are friends with their exes
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Only if you're scared to move on because you don't know how to deal with a relationship that doesn't have that crap in it. He obviously does, and so does the ex if they've both moved onto something better than they had together.

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Originally posted by Slylee what if he is coming over with the ex and her bf?

Honestly, if he does, then he doesnt know you. If hes smart, he will know and understand that it makes you uncomfortable and wont put you in a situation like that.

he better be coming over with some ice cream and flowers lol


@ The17sss : THANK YOU. that is what i fear.

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Originally posted by echosystm It doesn't bother me at all, as I know they BROKE UP FOR A REASON! If there was anything there, they would have stayed together. He's no threat to me.

Ahh yes, but just because they broke up for a reason, that doesn't mean the feeligs are gone. My ex was toxic to my relationship, and I had to break up with her even though I really loved her. Took a while for the feelings to go away even without seeing her on a regluar basis.

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What bothers me more is when my GF gets a new guy friend. Being a guy, I know that there is a 90% chance he's only talking to her to get into her pants. I know this because I'd be the same. That shits me.

yes... i fucking can't stand that. What pisses me off even more is if a girl is too stupid to understand the intentions of the guy. I hate when they are like "But he just wants to be friends! He's a really nice guy." Yeah, of course he's a nice guy... he is waiting for his opening and he'll hang around "being cool" with just being friends until he gets his chance. I would always tell my girlfriends, "expect that they have those horny intentions 100% of the time when they want to be 'just friends'... then when it DOESN'T happen, then you can be surprised."

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Originally posted by The17sss I don't see the point in staying friends with your ex if you're serious with someone else

buttsecks obviously.

If he brings the ex and her new bf, it's probably because they stopped by and he doesn't want to hang out with them by himself so just relax and enjoy yourself. Whisper that he owes you three dinners at restaurants of your choice and whatever else it is that you want from him for dragging you into this.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee he better be coming over with some ice cream and flowers lol @ The17sss : THANK YOU. that is what i fear.

Yeah... I've seen it happen so many times. I hope I'm wrong about my assessment as applied to your BF. Some guys just keep bridges from burning unnecessarily too long.

Jealously over new male friends? Well if shes a dirty slut youll find out, if youre in a relationship and you care about each other, you shouldnt have anything to worry about because of that little thing called trust. If you dont trust each other, then maybe you should reconsider your intentions with each other.

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Originally posted by The17sss I don't see the point in staying friends with your ex if you're serious with someone else, unless you've known each other since birth and/or the families have been friends for years or some shit like that.

What if you're just good friends? My ex and I are best friends and talk a heap. It has made some things hard but, as has been said, we broke up for a reason. We don't have out to spice things up, we hang out because we have a heap in common and can genuinely be friends without that stereotypical "100% horny guy" thing.

You do have a point that it CAN cause problems, but for all the awesomeness of meeting someone new I wouldn't want to sacrifice such a good friendship. If someone came on saying something like "my new GF wants me to stop seeing any of my female friends in private" everyone would jump down her throat saying she was an insecure, controlling bitch. It's essentially the same situation if everyone is MATURE about it. Bloody 14 year olds.

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Originally posted by Slylee how would u deal with it if they did that to you?

I met Myra's ex (well, one of them) out at a show on basically the night we started dating. It wasn't weird at all, we got along well, smoked some pot together, and in general to this day I still really enjoy every chance I get to see him. The odd thing was that he basically encouraged Myra to date me, but that's a whole other story not worth getting into - moral of the story was that from before Myra and I were even considering dating, I had met the guy, and it just never got weird. In any event, it was clear to me right away how much their friendship (and the relationship Myra had with his family) was something really important to both of them, and I never once ever felt threatened by him - quite the opposite actually. It felt like knowing a big part of Myra's life that it wouldn't make sense to miss out on.

Beyond that, it isn't weird at all for me when Myra sees him or has gone to dinner with him when their paths crossed, but I don't think it would be like that in every situation with every person. It's unique, and the circumstances in which I got to meet and spend time with Jim are probably not all that common. I think in most cases it would make me at least a bit uncomfortable, but it's nice to know there are situations where that doesn't have to be the case.

Yeah, I don't see the reason to burn the bridge if there was a relationship there before the bf/gf label was put on. Regardless if it's because your families are tight, you were sand box babies or you just had a strong friendship before hand. You lost the BF/GF label but why lose the friend label if you don't have to?

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Originally posted by Frenchie Yeah, I don't see the reason to burn the bridge if there was a relationship there before the bf/gf label was put on. Regardless if it's because your families are tight, you were sand box babies or you just had a strong friendship before hand. You lost the BF/GF label but why lose the friend label if you don't have to?

Totally, some people break it off because they think they would be much better as friends then partners, which is totally normal.

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Originally posted by Frenchie Yeah, I don't see the reason to burn the bridge if there was a relationship there before the bf/gf label was put on. Regardless if it's because your families are tight, you were sand box babies or you just had a strong friendship before hand. You lost the BF/GF label but why lose the friend label if you don't have to?

Yup. And don't get me wrong, I've gotten jealous before in all sorts of situations, but there are just so many times when I think people feel like they have to sacrifice a really close friendship just because a BF/GF relationship has ended.

I do think, though, that there are plenty of times when it's best just to part ways completely with exes.

I have a feeling Jamie's prolonged disappearance means that the 2 surprises could be the 2 people that she feared most to meet today.

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Originally posted by The17sss I don't see the point in staying friends with your ex if you're serious with someone else, unless you've known each other since birth and/or the families have been friends for years or some shit like that. It just leaves the door open for so many possible problems in your current relationship. Out of respect for you and your feelings, your BF should cut ties with his ex. That's just my opininon... but honestly what is the benefit of keeping that situation even in the equation? They used to have a volatile relationship right? Are things really vanilla with you two and maybe he misses the action/spice he used to have with her? Sometimes people like that shit, even if it's detrimental to their relationship, and when they find themselves in a more healthy relationship without the crazyness, they still need their fix. I don't know... I just think those situations create more drama than happiness and aren't necessary, especially since you are basically being forced to accept it when you'd rather it be the other way

finally some common fucking sense in this thread. It's so fucking annoying when someone is all obsessive about being friends with an ex. The fucking relationship didn't work out, let it go and move on. I personally wouldn't tolerate someone being "friends" with the person they most recently broke up with if we were in a new relationship and I damn sure wouldn't be going out to dinner with them and shit like that. You have a fucking mental problem if you expect your boyfriend or girlfriend to be cool with you being good friends with someone you just got out of a relationship with, especially if you were with that person a long time. A few years later maybe, but not right away.

Jamie, have your BF call me and I'll slap him upside the head through the phone.

Who is obsessive? FFS

You're thinking too much into it. "Oh no, we broke up because being together romantically wasn't working out for us so we can't have a relationship of any other kind" My foot. No one is telling you to go get pictures done on Santa's lap the day after you break up or go to a tea house and sip some nice herbal tea. It'll take time but..after a while you get over it and if you're friends.. you're friends. If nothing was damaged friendship wise..awesome.

This thread is shit.

He isn't fucking her is he? No, didn't think so, so stop being so damn insecure, go see a fucking psychologist instead of listening to a bunch of virgins on what to do.

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Originally posted by Alex This thread is shit. He isn't fucking her is he? No, didn't think so, so stop being so damn insecure, go see a fucking psychologist instead of listening to a bunch of virgins on what to do.

W0rd.

No, f that. Have a 3 some. Nothing will curb your jealosy more than knowing you're better than her in the sack.

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Originally posted by Vlad Jealously over new male friends? Well if shes a dirty slut youll find out, if youre in a relationship and you care about each other, you shouldnt have anything to worry about because of that little thing called trust. If you dont trust each other, then maybe you should reconsider your intentions with each other.

people fall in and out of love all the time, trust has nothing to do with it. any woman, given a good enough deal, will trade up. the same applies to men. of course, the onus is on oneself to be the best partner they can, but sometimes that isn't enough. true, if this can occur, then you are not right for eachother. that said, however, no one WANTS this to happen; knowing that every male she meets can potentially cause this downward spiral is aggitating.

i would say no.

in my case. when i remain friends with my ex-girlfriends
it usually involves fecking.
even if they have boyfriends.

even he is there watching us...ok not that far.

but yeah, we usually meet up to stay in touch, lunch or what not.
(their idea)
and then, BAM!!!! just like that.

we end up fecking
don't know, just happens that way.

there is history there, we are comfortable with each other.
and i'm good.

quote:

Originally posted by daydreamer i would say no. in my case. when i remain friends with my ex-girlfriends it usually involves fecking. even if they have boyfriends. even he is there watching us...ok not that far. but yeah, we usually meet up to stay in touch, lunch or what not. (their idea) and then, BAM!!!! just like that. we end up fecking don't know, just happens that way. there is history there, we are comfortable with each other. and i'm good.

lol


the 2 surprises were a doggy bed for my dog and some pot. lol he is totally kicking my dog out of my thread.


i'm gonna work through this. i mean rjt's story was inspiring. i need to get over it. he is crazy about me and he's not a cheater. i'm being retarded.

quote:

Originally posted by The17sss Ahh yes, but just because they broke up for a reason, that doesn't mean the feeligs are gone. My ex was toxic to my relationship, and I had to break up with her even though I really loved her. Took a while for the feelings to go away even without seeing her on a regluar basis. yes... i fucking can't stand that. What pisses me off even more is if a girl is too stupid to understand the intentions of the guy. I hate when they are like "But he just wants to be friends! He's a really nice guy." Yeah, of course he's a nice guy... he is waiting for his opening and he'll hang around "being cool" with just being friends until he gets his chance. I would always tell my girlfriends, "expect that they have those horny intentions 100% of the time when they want to be 'just friends'... then when it DOESN'T happen, then you can be surprised."

yea i have a lot of guy friends but when i get serious with a guy i usually chill w/ the contact with them just because i know how it is with guys.

he is french canadian too and doesn't have that many friends down here other than the few other french canadians he knows, so i guess he feels like holding onto whatever friends he has down here....even if it's an ex.

I don't like how people in this thread are so one-sided. Like Rob (and myself earlier) said, it all needs to be taken on a case-by-case basis. You can't completely write something off before you even know what it could mean to your relationship.

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Originally posted by XaNaX finally some common fucking sense in this thread. It's so fucking annoying when someone is all obsessive about being friends with an ex. The fucking relationship didn't work out, let it go and move on. I personally wouldn't tolerate someone being "friends" with the person they most recently broke up with if we were in a new relationship and I damn sure wouldn't be going out to dinner with them and shit like that. You have a fucking mental problem if you expect your boyfriend or girlfriend to be cool with you being good friends with someone you just got out of a relationship with, especially if you were with that person a long time. A few years later maybe, but not right away. Jamie, have your BF call me and I'll slap him upside the head through the phone.

<3

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee he is french canadian too and doesn't have that many friends down here other than the few other french canadians he knows, so i guess he feels like holding onto whatever friends he has down here....even if it's an ex.

Dude wtf, it's Florida. There's more quebecois there than there is in quebec.

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