Long distance relationships - TranceAddict Forums

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Posted by gehzumteufel on Sep-30-2008 22:41:

Jake: Don't be a panzy. 30min drive is NOT long distance.

imho, anything over 1hr without traffic is too far.

Posted by spanglo on Sep-30-2008 22:42:

If you guys have grade A communication, then there�s always hope. Unfortunately only .003% of couples are on that level, so here�s hoping you�re one of �em.

Otherwise, you will miss each other dearly at first, realize how important you are to one another, and then slowly your relationship will fizzle as communication becomes less in frequency and substance as a result of adjusting to life without one another. Your only hope is that either you or her don�t meet anyone �better� during the time away, and if you don�t then you�ll probably reconnect when all is said and done. If you or her do meet someone better, then it�s game over, because then the bar will have risen and you�ll no longer be suitable.

Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder which is good� but out of sight � out of mind.

Posted by idoru on Sep-30-2008 22:43:

quote:
Originally posted by gehzumteufel
Jake: Don't be a panzy. 30min drive is NOT long distance.

imho, anything over 1hr without traffic is too far.

Hence the whole "short-long" thing that Myra pointed out. Also, I questioned whether or not it would even apply to my situation. I've been driving down there every weekend for years anyway, so it's not like it makes a difference now.

Posted by gehzumteufel on Sep-30-2008 22:50:

quote:
Originally posted by idoru
Hence the whole "short-long" thing that Myra pointed out. Also, I questioned whether or not it would even apply to my situation. I've been driving down there every weekend for years anyway, so it's not like it makes a difference now.

That is your commute to work. That isn't short-long at all. I think when she said short-long, she meant 1-2 hours away (Myra, correct me if I am wrong please!) and not 20-30 minutes away. Remember that is your drive to the mall.

Marcus, while I commend you for your effort, I see potential for problems. If you were each on opposite sides of the country, it wouldn't be a big deal, but you are not. You are around 7000 miles (11000km) away. You can't just take a weekend flight for USD400. It will be a much more significant event.

FBG: what were the costs for your flights? Did you fly economy or 1st class or what when you would come over so often?

Posted by idoru on Sep-30-2008 22:56:

quote:
Originally posted by gehzumteufel
Remember that is your drive to the mall.

5 != 30-60

But yes, I agree with what you're saying, hence (like I said) my questioning whether or not it would even apply in the first place.

Posted by gehzumteufel on Sep-30-2008 22:57:

quote:
Originally posted by idoru
5 != 30-60

But yes, I agree with what you're saying, hence (like I said) my questioning whether or not it would even apply in the first place.

lol your mall is 5mins away!? Well aren't you lucky!

But yeah you pretty much live at your gfs now.

Posted by RJT on Sep-30-2008 23:26:

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
That's exactly how we see it. We've been together for almost 5 years now and, although I sometimes vent here about how I'm mad at one thing or another, I think there will always be some "friction" in a relationship, and I've learnt to cope with many of her differences just fine.

Definition of a healthy relationship right there, no joke.

I'm sure all will be well, Marcus - certainly not easy, but you're a smart chap with a level head, and if it's your prerogative you can pull it off.

Part of really loving someone is knowing when they've got to head off in their own direction and do their own thing, and still being confident that the two of you will be fine.

Posted by Domesticated on Sep-30-2008 23:29:

quote:
Originally posted by gehzumteufel
short-long, she meant 1-2 hours away (Myra, correct me if I am wrong please!) and not 20-30 minutes away.

I believe she meant "short-long" as in a short-term but long distance relationship for a few months as opposed to "long-long"; a long-term, long distance relationship of a few years.

Posted by RJT on Sep-30-2008 23:31:

quote:
Originally posted by Domesticated
I believe she meant "short-long" as in a short-term but long distance relationship for a few months as opposed to "long-long"; a long-term, long distance relationship of a few years.

No, Ben was right.

Edit: And it was about 2 hours and 15 minutes.

Posted by fbgdavidson on Sep-30-2008 23:44:

quote:
Originally posted by gehzumteufel
FBG: what were the costs for your flights? Did you fly economy or 1st class or what when you would come over so often?

Usually Business Class but sometimes premium economy if it was a good deal or business was a silly price. I learned how to find the best deals, bought a lot if it was cheap, held off or used miles if it was expensive.

Anywhere between �550/$1000 (cheap premium economy) to �2300/$4200 (the higher business class prices I was willing to pay) per roundtrip. British Airways liked our relationship that's for sure!

quote:
Originally posted by Lira

I hope not. But, should that happen, I'm going to yell Thank you Mexico! as I take her bra off, and do it for your country

Yeah, dude. You're screwed

Posted by gehzumteufel on Sep-30-2008 23:46:

quote:
Originally posted by fbgdavidson
Usually Business Class but sometimes premium economy if it was a good deal or business was a silly price. I learned how to find the best deals, bought a lot if it was cheap, held off or used miles if it was expensive.

Anywhere between �550/$1000 (cheap premium economy) to �2300/$4200 (the higher business class prices I was willing to pay) per roundtrip. British Airways liked our relationship that's for sure!

Not cheap by any means.

Posted by jastiC on Oct-01-2008 00:38:

lol after 2 weeks.. bitch gona want cock n will fuck many japanese men ending in a ritual of bukkake

truth

Posted by idoru on Oct-01-2008 00:40:

quote:
Originally posted by coolestrl
yes im a guy and im saying it hurts

What's wrong with that?

Posted by Sunsnail on Oct-01-2008 00:58:

Why hasn't rose posted in here yet?

Posted by Ania_xox on Oct-01-2008 01:00:

Re: Long distance relationships

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
Is your loved one away? Are you in a new city, or has your significant other gone to a different state... or country, perhaps? Are you feeling lonely, but you're still reluctant to share your homemade sammich with that hot coworker/classmate that has desperately invited you to Subway for lunch so you could share your deepest sammichical secrets? You're not alone. I'm going to be with you soon.

Tomorrow, at 5 PM in Brazilian time (8PM UTC), my fiancée is flying to Nagoya (JP), and will spend at least 3 years there. I really think it's going to be hard to keep this relationship intact for so long, specially because I probably won't go to live in Nagoya even if I do go to Japan in the near future. So, I decided I'm going to do the following 3 things to cope with the distance:

Do anything but live like a hermit: I'm friends with far more girls than guys, so if I decide to stick with my girl in spite of this new context of blooming hotness and potential epic wins because I don't think they're worth pursuing... that is a sign that this is indeed what I want;

Keep in touch. This bit is obvious, I guess;

Keep working on my goals. The busier the mind, the easier it is for the heart.

Any other tips? Have you ever been in a(n un)successful long distance relationship? What was it like?

edit: Ambiguous expression was ambiguous.

Honestly... this isn't impossible.
The only thing that makes sense is to try and to be open to and ready for the possibility that things will start to get difficult - perhaps too difficult to handle. People change and grow. If that growth between the two of you is not happening together then it will become a barrier in your relationship. She will grow one way and you will grow another.

I think the notion of trying to keep things going is admirable and romantic. I think if you two can try to see eachother twice a year than it's plausible to stay together. You will have that to look forward to and to keep yourselves motivated to keep things alive.
(Phone sex and webcams will help too)

Good luck to you.
I, personally, don't think I could do it.
I'm away from my boyfriend for 4 days every week and I FLY to catch the train back home every thursday night.

Posted by Halcyon+On+On on Oct-01-2008 01:04:

You're an attractive guy, Lira. I mean that. Sure you're sort of a dork, but once women get out of school, they learn to appreciate that sort of thing.

Don't expect other girls to not notice you for one moment, I am sure that half of your friends have their eyes on you now that this other girl is out of the picture. And you can afford to be discerning amongst them, I'm sure.

I am, for obvious reasons, reticent to tell you how you should feel, but I do however genuinely believe that this whole 'how do I maintain a long-distance relationship' business is a temporary thing. I suppose this is the part where I am supposed to urge you to ask yourself certain questions, but I think I will just skip that phase and propose to you that men are largely visual creatures and temporal beings; that is to say, we are far more comfortable being bearers of seed than bearers of responsibility and that biology is a thing we are remiss to conquer. Are we slaves to it? Possibly. But I cannot say I have ever been truly subjugated by a dynamic I extract pleasure from. So indulge with responsibility. Tell your girlfriend that your love may be for her, but your body is not her temple. That you shall involve yourself with others trusted amongst your social circle and that the sex you exercise is a thing she is to celebrate in her love for you else it is an impure admiration of supposed possession; that her 'love' for you is ephemeral and based strictly upon ownership. You'll be rid of that pest for sure. Go for it.

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Oct-01-2008 01:19:

quote:
Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
You're an attractive guy, Lira. I mean that. Sure you're sort of a dork, but once women get out of school, they learn to appreciate that sort of thing.

Don't expect other girls to not notice you for one moment, I am sure that half of your friends have their eyes on you now that this other girl is out of the picture. And you can afford to be discerning amongst them, I'm sure.

I am, for obvious reasons, reticent to tell you how you should feel, but I do however genuinely believe that this whole 'how do I maintain a long-distance relationship' business is a temporary thing. I suppose this is the part where I am supposed to urge you to ask yourself certain questions, but I think I will just skip that phase and propose to you that men are largely visual creatures and temporal beings; that is to say, we are far more comfortable being bearers of seed than bearers of responsibility and that biology is a thing we are remiss to conquer. Are we slaves to it? Possibly. But I cannot say I have ever been truly subjugated by a dynamic I extract pleasure from. So indulge with responsibility. Tell your girlfriend that your love may be for her, but your body is not her temple. That you shall involve yourself with others trusted amongst your social circle and that the sex you exercise is a thing she is to celebrate in her love for you else it is an impure admiration of supposed possession; that her 'love' for you is ephemeral and based strictly upon ownership. You'll be rid of that pest for sure. Go for it.

we've missed you halcyon!

Posted by idoru on Oct-01-2008 01:24:

Posted by coolestrl on Oct-01-2008 01:28:

quote:
Originally posted by idoru
What's wrong with that?

notthing rong wen i talk abt it my frenz are like thats gay bro. im like wtf gay abt it? whatever i dont care.

Posted by idoru on Oct-01-2008 01:29:

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy bro.

Posted by Rose on Oct-01-2008 01:42:

quote:
Originally posted by Sunsnail
Why hasn't rose posted in here yet?

am I suppose to? You post.

Posted by idoru on Oct-01-2008 01:44:

quote:
Originally posted by Rose
am I suppose to? You post.

"You hang up!"
"No you hang up!"
"Bye, I love you!"
"I love you more!"
"No I do!"

Posted by StanVoid on Oct-01-2008 01:44:

Posted by Rose on Oct-01-2008 01:45:

quote:
Originally posted by idoru
"You hang up!"
"No you hang up!"
"Bye, I love you!"
"I love you more!"
"No I do!"

lol that has happened before.

Posted by idoru on Oct-01-2008 01:47:

I'm a genius, I know.

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