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-- Depression...
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I think just about all of us have gone through periods in our lives where you want to stay in bed all day, shut everyone and everything out, and you are drained and tired no matter what you do. Most of the time this passes, as this is a part of life. But for some, (a greater ammount of people than we realize) this feeling is a battle everyday because of a chemical inbalance.
It's a good thing that you have already decided to go to the doctor, and realized that it's not normal or healthy to feel this way.
Dmatrox: i couldn't agree with you more, I don't know about how much this is a cure for serious depression, but whenever I don't feel like talking or seeing anyone, I go to the gym for a couple of hours. And after taking a shower in there, I am already feeling much much better, and I end up with a strong urge to talk to friends, or go out again. This has to do with the sudden flow of oxygen to your brain, working out gives a natural high.
Veldrid:
A couple of summers ago, I developed a huge fear of death, and I had a very hard time dealing with the certainty of it, I had anxiety about my family constantly. I don't believe in any sort of afterlife, so i didn't have religion to turn to. I had to work very hard at controlling my mind, like you described, since i didn't want to go on some drug that I would know was the only reason i was feeling better. And I have worked hard enough to the point that I can deal with those kind of thoughts, but every now and then, it still gets me down.
It's been comforting to read everyone's asnwers, I think it's great we can share this with each other. dj cuba, i hope those answers help a bit, and don't forget about the people in your life that care for you, they are most likely hurting for you too. Talking about will help heaps, especially with your family.
Ilina
sometimes the only thing that gets me through a day is telling myself that I'm not dead...
imagine if you were dead right now, think about how insignifigant the problems you have would be...
whatever's bothering you so much in your life is being experienced by a lot of other people to... there's a lot of messed up shit going on the world that you'll never know about... so your situation probably looks worse than it is...
just remember that you're not alone, the best advice i can give is to not bottle everything up inside and talk to the right person about what bothers you...
you only go through this existence once, you should try to enjoy it while you can...
i was horribly depressed for awhile...probably the worst time of my life. all i can tell you is that it will pass, im not saying soon. but you will get to a point that you figure out what is getting you down and you will face it. then it will start to go away....mind you it will come back every now and then but nothing like before.
i sincerely hope you feel better
p.s. talk to someone ...it may help even annonymously online you can IM me anytime
pm me if you want my aim s/n. im always up for talking
fastmp3 dj do you know why i sometimes talk shit its because i have psyclogical problems ive been taking pills for years , my love life is fucked and i am going through a really bad stage of life at the moment , trance is my only way, out , i can't escape society without it , no one hates me , no one loves me coz no fuker knows me , im gonna scream hell and open the heavens with pain and anguish , dj cuba is a dude and he knows the score and so do i , where all in the same boat heading for the same direction my son !!!
I am Evil !!!!
so , we're all f**ked up. some more than others.
i knew for YEARS that i wasn't normal. but, i wanted to be accepted by everyone, so i kept it bottled up, hidden behind my defense mechanisms, and just never dealt with it, so people wouldn't find out. now people don't believe me when i tell them that i have a disorder.
people who don't know, tell you it's mind over matter. but if your brain isn't wired right, that phrase is meaningless. it's been only 4 months since my diagnosis, and i know i have a long way to go, so i can't really give you any good advice. but i do have to commend you for having the courage to come out and ask total strangers for help.
you've already taken the first step, or couple of steps.
i finally decided that if i was going to do the things i wanted to do, and accomplish what goals i had, i needed help. i sat down with a total stranger and told her my entire life. things i never told anyone. that was refreshing. afterward, i went home, re-analized everything, then thought about things some more, then broke down and cried. (i didn't cry when my dog died, :P or my grandparents, family members, etc,...tells you how distant i was from everything.) that was very refreshing too. but, being like that is not living but just merely existing. if i didn't want to get better, i would not have seen the shrink. (hopefully you get a psychiatrist who doesn't see you as just another case.) there are things i want to do in this life, and i want to see just how far i can go performing at my best.
i guess actually i do have an advice. unload EVERYTHING to a psychiatrist. ppl's advice here was for you to talk to somebody. who better than a trained pro? all your deepest darkest emotions, hopes fears lies, don't hold anything back. have that cathartic/epiphany (?) moment. and about medication; my first reaction was HELL NO. now i get shit from my friends because i can be "on drugs" legally. i just tell them to shut the fuck up. try them. i think i'll stop here cause i'm losing my train of thought.
oh. the thing that keeps me going actually is because of my one favorite quote. it's by john paul jones, an american revolutionary hero. during the revolutionary war, when his ship was sinking, and the british captain asked if he wishes to surrender, he said "i have not yet begun to fight." i know i haven't lived life to the fullest.
have you??
don't you want to find what may happen?
what if...
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