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- Chill Out Room
-- Spread some Christmas cheer
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Originally posted by idoru What bothers me is that most people only feel the need to "give" during Christmas. People are just as in need of help during the rest of the year.

I think a lot of people get caught up in their busy lives and kind of forget that there are people out there who need help. Out of sight, out of mind.

But Christmas is a time when a lot of organizations are out lobbying for donations and it's a constant reminder that there are people who can't afford to put food on the table. As a consequence, more people donate.

I will admit that I am not some martyr who has donated a ton of things... I couldn't really afford to - hell I have only been able to afford my own shit in the last couple of years. However, I have given whatever I can when I was reminded that there is someone hungry, or a kid who isn't going to get their cough medicine because their mother can't afford that with basic groceries. Key word - reminded.

Unless there is a reminder, people have the tendency to forget what's going on outside of their own worlds.

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Originally posted by wienerschnitzel i have a hard time donating to families in need, i know it sounds awful, so hear me out. In calgary, i have 2 sister in laws. One lives completely off of welfare/AISH and sits at home with her morphine addiction and smokes ciggarettes and complains about how hard her life is. She lost custody of her 3 children because she is an unfit parent and has some serious mental issues. She is the one i posted the facebook status updates from. She has managed to recieve 3 christmas hampers so far this year with food, gifts for the kids, gifts for her, gift cards for numerous places etc. Alot of families who are really in need didn't get any, but she got 3. The kids live with their dads (2 different dads) and the dads have jobs and make an honest living and provide enough to give the kids a decent christmas. Her kids recieve more gifts then rowan does. That being said, the other sister in law and her husband work low paying jobs, and spend the money they do get on the most premium cable packages, with a tv and reciever in every room, rent a brand new 5 bedroom house with rental assistance (welfare) and buy anything that comes out new like iphones, toys or gaming systems. They are THOUSANDS of dollars in debt in both here and the states, they recieve food orders from both the food bank and our church welfare system and recieve money from people in the church that feel bad for them. It's hard for eli and i to stomach. They are classic examples of people that abuse the system. I know of some families that are REALLY trying to make ends meet and are really struggling and i help those people out instead of leaving it to an organization. I have a hard time trusting people..

I try to think that the few who abuse the system don't outweigh the many who genuinely need help. Maybe that isn't true, but I would rather donate with the chance that 1 person who needs it will get it than not to donate at all.

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Originally posted by Arbiter I've got to agree with R!CH here. Even the most impoverished Ugandans that I've met seem to be generally happier than the people I see commuting into DC each morning. It's pretty ignorant to paint them as being miserable and bitter.

You have to consider their socialization, the fact that they don't live in possession obsessed societies, the fact that they don't have a million pressures on them day to day to work faster, harder, more efficiently in a world that seems to just zip by.

Westerners are some of the unhappiest people in the world because they have pretty much become machines. Little time to be with family, little time to sleep or wind down, compounding pressures to perform and have "stuff" that people judge and base your worth upon. A cultural obsession with appearance and social status etc. etc.

So while I will agree that there are a lot of unhappy people with everything they could possibly need who should appreciate what they do have, the context that the statement was made in was stupid. When we're talking about people who don't have the things they need, telling them to suck it up and appreciate what they have is ridiculous. Sure, they may be or seem happier, but it doesn't mean their stomachs aren't growling from hunger.

i think it's probably close to a 50/50 split of those who are trying to make ends meet but need help and those that abuse the system so they don't have to work as hard or just freeload. i'm not suggesting people shouldn't help at all, but i would just be aware of who you are helping, or at least be ok with your donations possibly going to someone who doesn't need it.

quote:

Originally posted by leph555 or you can give them an extreme home makeover

God I love this show.

quote:

Originally posted by wienerschnitzel i have a hard time donating to families in need, i know it sounds awful, so hear me out. In calgary, i have 2 sister in laws. One lives completely off of welfare/AISH and sits at home with her morphine addiction and smokes ciggarettes and complains about how hard her life is. She lost custody of her 3 children because she is an unfit parent and has some serious mental issues. She is the one i posted the facebook status updates from. She has managed to recieve 3 christmas hampers so far this year with food, gifts for the kids, gifts for her, gift cards for numerous places etc. Alot of families who are really in need didn't get any, but she got 3. The kids live with their dads (2 different dads) and the dads have jobs and make an honest living and provide enough to give the kids a decent christmas. Her kids recieve more gifts then rowan does. That being said, the other sister in law and her husband work low paying jobs, and spend the money they do get on the most premium cable packages, with a tv and reciever in every room, rent a brand new 5 bedroom house with rental assistance (welfare) and buy anything that comes out new like iphones, toys or gaming systems. They are THOUSANDS of dollars in debt in both here and the states, they recieve food orders from both the food bank and our church welfare system and recieve money from people in the church that feel bad for them. It's hard for eli and i to stomach. They are classic examples of people that abuse the system. I know of some families that are REALLY trying to make ends meet and are really struggling and i help those people out instead of leaving it to an organization. I have a hard time trusting people..

welcome to the uk. that's how people here are, they sponge and just breed like mad for money purposes. it gets them up the list in housing and stuff and then people who're having a hard time & need some help can't get it. I was given no help with finding a place to rent because I'm not a priority cos i dont have kids coming out of my orafices or come from romania.

well ian i reckon you may feel right at home when you visit alberta.. lol

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Originally posted by R!CH but you have your health, your freedom, your friends, your family, your sanity, your consciousness, your memories, your life and your future going for you.

You can't assume that all people have all of those things, lol.

I'd rather be homeless in alberta. I'm getting packages from theresa then! Here all I'd get would be glassed in the street for being homeless!

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa You have to consider their socialization, the fact that they don't live in possession obsessed societies, the fact that they don't have a million pressures on them day to day to work faster, harder, more efficiently in a world that seems to just zip by. Westerners are some of the unhappiest people in the world because they have pretty much become machines. Little time to be with family, little time to sleep or wind down, compounding pressures to perform and have "stuff" that people judge and base your worth upon. A cultural obsession with appearance and social status etc. etc. So while I will agree that there are a lot of unhappy people with everything they could possibly need who should appreciate what they do have, the context that the statement was made in was stupid. When we're talking about people who don't have the things they need, telling them to suck it up and appreciate what they have is ridiculous. Sure, they may be or seem happier, but it doesn't mean their stomachs aren't growling from hunger.

but how does cultivating this socialized behavior of gift-giving every december help those in need achieve true happiness? aren't you reinforcing the idea to their children?

imo "toys" as a gesture of love is misguided. studies show that no matter how expensive, nice or desirable a "toy" gift, the joy someone derives from that gesture fades in a matter of 3 months. if you give your bf an brand new iphone, he'll love you for it for up to 90 days every time he looks at it, but after that time it just becomes his phone. the longest lasting gifts are the experiential ones. a $400 weekend getaway will last longer and mean more based upon the memories created than a $400 gadget. just some unrelated food for thought.

This is all beginning to sound like an Ayn Rand novel.

ian you can come live with me if i'm having twins but you have to help me take care of them.. you can be my live-in uk nanny.

quote:

Originally posted by R!CH but you have your health, your freedom, your friends, your family, your sanity, your consciousness, your memories, your life and your future going for you. that more than some people can say.

dammit. you had to rub it in.

quote:

Originally posted by wienerschnitzel ian you can come live with me if i'm having twins but you have to help me take care of them.. you can be my live-in uk nanny.

deal. In exchange i want 1000 of your canadian dollars a month, flames tickets and the right to teach rowan her first swears.

lol first of all if you're getting paid i want to see some certificates in this field.. secondly i can't get flames tickets for myself!! i certainly can't get them for you! and finally rowan knows them all unfortunatly, but i'm sure you can teach her all the english ones..

haha. I can teach her how to confuse canadians, I had a great time doing that, esp to the women in tim hortons. i might take cards next time, or a stephen hawking type machine.

As for fl ames tickets, i'll trade for calgary hitmen tickets?

Spread my cock across a couple of whores faces, how bout that

finally I have many certificates from the university of dakar. or lahore. or whichever one of those sounds like it's in nigeria

quote:

Originally posted by wienerschnitzel lol first of all if you're getting paid i want to see some certificates in this field.. secondly i can't get flames tickets for myself!! i certainly can't get them for you! and finally rowan knows them all unfortunatly, but i'm sure you can teach her all the english ones..

English swears wiener! Those are far fancier than anything us North Americans come up with

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie You can't assume that all people have all of those things, lol.

right but any time i start to feel unhappy or unfortunate about anything, say a speeding ticket or getting my wallet stolen, all i have to think back to is all the things that haven't happened to me. i have all my fingers and toes, arms and legs, sanity, freedom, health, memories, consciousness, life, etc... while there are others who are paraplegic, schizophrenic, imprisoned, terminally ill, demented, retarded, comatose, deformed and dead. it really puts my troubles into perspective every time. i'm sure this mindset could help most poor people out there. feeling sorry for yourself doesn't ever help your situation.

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Originally posted by mdamon7278 Spread my cock across a couple of whores faces, how bout that

Aids isnt allowed to be given as a gift as you can't have a refund receipt for it. Just give tigerpaw trailer videos.

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Originally posted by bas English swears wiener! Those are far fancier than anything us North Americans come up with

poppycock to you bassel. poppycock. And wash your clemen ffs.

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Originally posted by Ian Aids isnt allowed to be given as a gift as you can't have a refund receipt for it. Just give tigerpaw trailer videos.

Ohhhh you had to go there huh, ok I understand

lol rowan said 'that's bollocks' once

quote:

Originally posted by R!CH but how does cultivating this socialized behavior of gift-giving every december help those in need achieve true happiness? aren't you reinforcing the idea to their children? imo "toys" as a gesture of love is misguided. studies show that no matter how expensive, nice or desirable a "toy" gift, the joy someone derives from that gesture fades in a matter of 3 months. if you give your bf an brand new iphone, he'll love you for it for up to 90 days every time he looks at it, but after that time it just becomes his phone. the longest lasting gifts are the experiential ones. a $400 weekend getaway will last longer and mean more based upon the memories created than a $400 gadget. just some unrelated food for thought.

Unfortunately, my saying "hey, we're obsessed with shit and need to stop worrying about the monetary value of everything" wont change a century's worth of socialization of an entire continent.

So, while I agree that we focus too much on things, I am not out to make some type of statement that is going to be ignored. I am out to make people feel better. Not to mention... food is food and sure, the little presents we are giving are probably not going to be that appreciated maybe even 2 weeks from now, but at least it put a smile on their faces, even if temporarily, and made their mother feel better at a very stressful time of year. I think it would be overstepping my boundaries to be like "hey, let's do something that they will remember"... but I agree with the sentiment with personal relationships, which is why I try to do things with my family/friends instead of give them things (or give them things that remind them of the things we have done).

Anyway, I am not disagreeing with the overall idea... I just think you are applying it to the wrong situations. People who have what they need should appreciate what they have. People who are going hungry and suffering with various problems shouldn't simply be expected to do the same, and then be used as an excuse not to help them out when you can.

quote:

Originally posted by wienerschnitzel ian you can come live with me if i'm having twins but you have to help me take care of them.. you can be my live-in uk nanny.

Is it official!?!?

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie This is all beginning to sound like an Ayn Rand novel.

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Originally posted by Theresa Is it official!?!?

no, lol. there was an IF! thursday is the day of truth.

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