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- Chill Out Room
-- Comrade Stalin appreciation thread
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| Originally posted by kadomony soviet scary stories GO You are home to watch Pravda on televisir about degenerate murderer who is on the loose. You look out the window door to beet field, and you notice Man standing in the snow. He look like foto on televisir and he smile at you. You gulp vodka, picking up fone to your right and dialing Local Militia Precinct Commissar. Back out the glass you look, pressing fone to ear. Notice he now closer to you. You drop vodka in shock. No footprints in snow. It was reflection. You dullard! Your apartment is bulldozed down to make way for glorious tractor factory. |
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| Originally posted by kadomony In closing month of Great Patriot War, in hospital Comrade Doctor run out of bandages and lifeblood for fellow comrades of the Motherland. Then, fascist dog shells aggress against hospital and power go out. Doctor yell at Gypsy to get power running, but nothing work. Doctor shoot Gypsy, then singlehanded treat every patient in hospital, because Comrade Doctor great example to productivity of Soviet Motherland. In morning, soldiers wake up and find wounds dressed with human skin. Find Doctor dead in cot, his skin all peel off. Scream in horror. Know nothing about great resourcefulness of Comrade Doctor for benefit of great Motherland. Commissar summoned to award Comrade Doctor for resourcefulness. Commissar see Comrade Doctor sleeping in cot. Commissar shoot Comrade Doctor. Doctor fell asleep on cot that should have been used by wounded soldier! Doctor's death is punishment for his selfishness! Soldiers shot for being treated by traitor to Soviet cause! NO BROTHER OF GLORIOUS SOVIET STATE ACCEPT HELP FROM TRAITOR! |
Such is life in Soviet Russia when man not give comrade milk before himself. A letter containing pictures of dead people can only warm fire for while, milk of Russian cow empower will of man for strengths of country Kadomonisky, this is lesson you must learn.
One must but appreciate seduction of lambs when one is alone in fields of war. Loins become but desperate and I vas standing knowing not if tonight I die, I take lamb and pleasure is good. Pleasure of motherland lamb is better for man than dirty gypsy. I need stregnths for when I make return from war to work on plow for potato field.
Kadomonisky, is you of kulaks? I like to invite for vodka. I must sleep my 3 hours before I wake for chickens. Спокойной ночи.
One night you are warming by fire with female comrade. Telephone is make ring.
You are answering and man is saying "Why you and my daughter not working?"
You asking female comrade about man on phone. She is saying father already taken to gulag.
No time to ask question as KGB is arriving and taking you to gulag as for using capitalist manufactured telephone.
lmao
He doesn't know who leon trotsky is however.
That's pretty fail.
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| Originally posted by kadomony One night you are warming by fire with female comrade. Telephone is make ring. You are answering and man is saying "Why you and my daughter not working?" You asking female comrade about man on phone. She is saying father already taken to gulag. No time to ask question as KGB is arriving and taking you to gulag as for using capitalist manufactured telephone. |
Comrade Stalin love Jennypie.
I've always preferred the "Uncle Joe" moniker.
hint: highlight picture for subliminal message
This fucking thread.
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| Originally posted by Comrade Stalin Comrade Stalin love Jennypie. |
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| Originally posted by Ania_xox hint: highlight picture for subliminal message |
what a great guy
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| Originally posted by woscar |
Ah, now I see it. Thanks! 
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| Originally posted by Moral Hazard I've always preferred the "Uncle Joe" moniker. |
lol pee sprinkles.
Yevgeni Zakarov did wait. Fluorescent light above him did spark while shining in broken glass. Capitalists were invading outpost. He didn't see them, but did expect them for years from across Atlantic. Warnings given to commissar Yuri did not warrant response from union. Far too late now.
Yevgeni was conscript for fourteen years now. When he was young he watched dad in gulag with vodka and he saying 'I am wanting to grow up in gulags daddy'. Dad said 'No! Shut up! Commissar will overhear us! You will not have chance to be asset to the union!'.
There was time when he believed him. As he got oldered he stopped. But there was a time when he believed him. Glorious Union knew there were capitalists. 'This is Boris' the intercom crackled. 'You must bring fiscal report to office please.' So Yevgeni picked up papers and went to office.
'HE GOING TO ENSLAVE US' said the capitalists. 'I will make them give to nation' said coworker as he gave out paychecks, but economy failed and not all had much to give to glorious Soviet people. 'No!' shouted Yevgeni, 'I must collect funds for people to stop capitalists!' The intercom said 'No, Yevgeni. You are the capitalists.'
And then Yevgeni was a nationalist-socialist.
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| Originally posted by kadomony Yevgeni Zakarov did wait. Fluorescent light above him did spark while shining in broken glass. Capitalists were invading outpost. He didn't see them, but did expect them for years from across Atlantic. Warnings given to commissar Yuri did not warrant response from union. Far too late now. Yevgeni was conscript for fourteen years now. When he was young he watched dad in gulag with vodka and he saying 'I am wanting to grow up in gulags daddy'. Dad said 'No! Shut up! Commissar will overhear us! You will not have chance to be asset to the union!'. There was time when he believed him. As he got oldered he stopped. But there was a time when he believed him. Glorious Union knew there were capitalists. 'This is Boris' the intercom crackled. 'You must bring fiscal report to office please.' So Yevgeni picked up papers and went to office. 'HE GOING TO ENSLAVE US' said the capitalists. 'I will make them give to nation' said coworker as he gave out paychecks, but economy failed and not all had much to give to glorious Soviet people. 'No!' shouted Yevgeni, 'I must collect funds for people to stop capitalists!' The intercom said 'No, Yevgeni. You are the capitalists.' And then Yevgeni was a nationalist-socialist. |
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| Originally posted by Joss Weatherby You know whats awesome? We get bug tickets by Russians for the mod I work on that are worded almost in the same way as your posts.... Except they are dead serious... Stuff like "T-90 tank best tank,,, western tank not best T-90 best tank why hate Russia? Make better tank" |
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| Originally posted by kadomony |
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| 3. I see statistics. ACE 2 have loses popularity, at once as change of models towards realness has gone. |
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| ACE 2 not always was such as now. Such nightmare has lately begun. I am not playing the wrong mod. You are making wrong mod. |
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