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quote:

Originally posted by DJ RANN Yeah, but the women in mansfield are right munters so bet you won it! Worst thing? Doesn't compare to H&B but still get a tinge of guilt every now and then. I threw a grape at at this guy john I worked with on the other side of the office (we used to fuck about a bit at work). The moment that grape left my hand, the managing director of the company walked through the door - the grape smacked off Johns forehead and right in to the face of the MD. I looked up "all surprised from my paperwork" and the MD frogmarched John out the building, and out of a job for chucking a grape at him. Anyway, worked out alright for him as he got 6 months pay in a lump sum so the MD could avoid unfair dismissal tribuneral. Promotion to johns job was nice for me though

Sweet.

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Sweet.

I could throw a million grapes before I die and never have such a perfect shot.

BTW, what was the name of that pub/bar, think I know it....

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Originally posted by igottaknow I brought home office supplies like pens, post-it notes, etc, surf the net during company time, made a personal long distant call one time. Pretty bad ass stuff.

And that thing with all the missing kids, right? Can't believe you got away with that one.

quote:

Originally posted by DJ RANN I could throw a million grapes before I die and never have such a perfect shot. BTW, what was the name of that pub/bar, think I know it....

I'd rather not say

It was in Morden, so I'm sure you can imagine how shite it was.

So you moved to Australia to escape the IRA? Shit son, that's hardcore.

quote:

Originally posted by bas So you moved to Australia to escape the IRA? Shit son, that's hardcore.

Fuck that, I figure they STILL owe me money for working in that shithole.

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Originally posted by Sushipunk I'd rather not say It was in Morden, so I'm sure you can imagine how shite it was.

Oh shit. unlucky.

Don't want to give it away but does it start with a "T"?

Nope, not with a T. I just looked it up and it's changed names now anyway.

You weren't a fan of the English, Stuart? I've never been, but I'd really like to.

quote:

Originally posted by Renzo You weren't a fan of the English, Stuart? I've never been, but I'd really like to.

The kinds of people I was describing (gypsies/chavs/scum) aren't what I'd call typical English people, they're more like the absolute dregs of society. I was just lucky enough to be serving them beer.

Most English folks are pretty cool, and I certainly enjoyed (most of) my time in the country.

I bet.



"OH YEAH? GIMME THE PASSWORD THEN."

"What? What password, mate? Are you not the bartender? My lads and I come from the football match and all we are asking for is some bloody Guinness. And why do you keep playing with your balls?"

"Fucking chavs and scum!"

The Stu 'Batman Slap' freak-out should be a new meme.

quote:

Originally posted by Renzo I bet. "OH YEAH? GIMME THE PASSWORD THEN." "What? What password, mate? Are you not the bartender? My lads and I come from the football match and all we are asking for is some bloody Guinness. And why do you keep playing with your balls?" "Fucking chavs and scum!"

Nah, the 'password' for free drinks was weed and pills

One guy gave me an 8 pack of Gilette Mach 3 razor blades that he stole from the chemist down the road, in return for a couple of pints of Stella

quote:

Originally posted by Schadenfreude i took a shit on the floor of the woman's washroom. Not my current job though, i don't have a restraining order there.

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Nah, the 'password' for free drinks was weed and pills One guy gave me an 8 pack of Gilette Mach 3 razor blades that he stole from the chemist down the road, in return for a couple of pints of Stella

No wonder. An 8 pack mach 3 blades are like 18 quid.

I've worked in my office for YEARS! A few years ago I threw office parties at my job almost every weekend, I eventually bought a keg and set up shop in the parking lot. Well low and behold my asshole boss came to work on a Sat. and ran up on me and my mates in the parking lot drinking and smoking. He looked at me and shook his head and to this day i remember what he said as clear as day," If you're going to drink on my property at east have some god fucking taste in beer." He's a chill dude but I subsequently lost my keys to the office after that.


Hmm I also used my private office to sell bud. I'd have appointment's and what not and people would come in and fill out a new BS client memo. It was pretty convenient and I made a bit of money for my employer as well. Tacked on a $10 service fee for the room, at the end of the month I almost had 500 for my boss. That was fun but alas I had to stop, dro is almost impossible not to smell in a small office.

Love the legal field

edit- a pony of Guinness is not shyte beer might I add, hate wino's!

quote:

Originally posted by DJ RANN No wonder. An 8 pack mach 3 blades are like 18 quid.

Which is of course why I accepted his kind offer.

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Originally posted by Sushipunk Which is of course why I accepted his kind offer.

I can imagine the money saving with the amount of razors you go through shaving your head.

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Originally posted by bas I can imagine the money saving with the amount of razors you go through shaving your head.

Haha, this was a bit over 10 years ago. I used to have long hair back then

I go through heaps of razors now though Where is the chav scum when I need them? Fucking worthless cunts.

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Originally posted by Sushipunk Haha, this was a bit over 10 years ago. I used to have long hair back then I go through heaps of razors now though Where is the chav scum when I need them? Fucking worthless cunts.

It's actually such a shame what happened to England. The working class went from Salt of the earth, to Scum of the earth.

So many chavs, pikeys 'n slags these days.

quote:

Originally posted by DJ RANN It's actually such a shame what happened to England. The working class went from Salt of the earth, to Scum of the earth. So many chavs, pikeys 'n slags these days.

Is it England-wide though, or more of a product of big-city life? I lived in a smaller city in the north of England, and the people up there were completely different for the most part. Far more laid back and friendly, even the working class folks. There were still a few chavs/scum wandering around, but it was by no means such an overwhelming cultural factor like it was in London.

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Is it England-wide though, or more of a product of big-city life? I lived in a smaller city in the north of England, and the people up there were completely different for the most part. Far more laid back and friendly, even the working class folks. There were still a few chavs/scum wandering around, but it was by no means such an overwhelming cultural factor like it was in London.

10 years ago i dont think there really was chavs like there is now.. nowadays its really bad, and it pretty much all over. tracksuit bottoms - check, bottles of cheap cider - check, mobile phone with 'put a donk on it' blearing out the speaker - check, shitty horrible looking brown staffy dogs - check.

You guys are cunts!

The worst I've ever done is accidentally lose the company $90,000 and another time purposefully lose them $2,000 because I was too lazy to chase it up. Losing/winning money was an occupational hazard for my profession though; I probably made up for my losses with several smaller gains.

quote:

Originally posted by thecreator Hmm I also used my private office to sell bud. I'd have appointment's and what not and people would come in and fill out a new BS client memo. It was pretty convenient and I made a bit of money for my employer as well. Tacked on a $10 service fee for the room, at the end of the month I almost had 500 for my boss. That was fun but alas I had to stop, dro is almost impossible not to smell in a small office.

thats awesome

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