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-- Musings for the sausagefest
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Posted by Acton on May-13-2010 19:32:

Alcohol is his friend.


Posted by EddieZilker on May-13-2010 19:46:

This is clearly a delicate situation you have with your man. You need to remember, first and foremost, that your man is just as worried about how you'll be handling his absence as you are about him. Don't be afraid to have a few "girls nights out", going to male-strip clubs with the girls and flirting a little.

There's nothing wrong with a little after-party, while he's home trying to catch some rest. Bring the girls and one or two of their new male "friends" home with you. You should be plenty intoxicated since, because he is stressed out, he will need to discharge his stress through a relentless barrage of insisting he needs his rest and questioning you about what you are thinking. The alcohol will help ease the sting of his remarks, which he really doesn't mean, and also allow you to come up with inflammatory replies which question his masculinity. Don't be afraid to escalate. His anger is key to releasing large amounts of the stress relieving hormone, cortisol.

If he doesn't wake up, for some reason, he'll feel guilty when he does if he finds out you haven't indulged in every whimsical notion which occurred in you mind. Playing a game of strip-poker, pillow-fighting, or even truth or dare, with your after party guests should pose a relief when he sees your face, in the morning, hung-over, somewhat guilty, but too tired to comprehend the scope of your debauchery.

In quiet moments it will help him cope with his long absences from your life, by reminding him that you're enjoying your space. Talk about how you're doing a lot of thinking about the future, but keep it purposefully vague. Don't remind him that your future includes him, in any way. This will help him concentrate more on his work and less on you while also posing to him a sense of mystery about your commitment, ensuring he finishes his work faster in order to have more time with you.

If he becomes needy or clingy as a result of something you said or did, get mad and impatient. If he wants to talk for an extended period, make sure your friends are calling you enough to interrupt any serious conversations. Always put text-messages first. Your friends are quite important and he's always going to be there, no matter what you do.

If he is sullen and wants to keep to himself, this is a sign of trouble. Again, angry and impatient is the way to go. Talk about how he's never around and about how even when he is, he's off in his own little world. If he's watching TV, talk about men you know who look like the attractive movie stars and sports celebrities you're both watching, and about what they did that made you laugh, the other day. If he talks about attractive women, however, you should fly into a jealous rage, leave, and don't answer your cell-phone when he calls while you're out getting your drink on, alone.

Nothing is better for a man than cooking dinner. Nothing, that is except for a dinner which has been sitting on the table for three hours and candles that are burned to their nub. When he insists that he told you he would be home by nine, insist that he said six, not nine. Then you should accuse him of cheating.

Doing all of these things, repeatedly, will ensure the sanctity of your relationship and allow him to really focus on his work. When he returns, he'll be a refreshed and new man, ready to devote all of his time to you. Remind him of everything you've done for him and when things get hot in your relationship; make sure and hold this experience without him over his head. Shit. Even when things are going well, you should still lord this over him. Making sure to spoil the most pleasant of moments with a nagging, contentious issue is the key to any healthy, successful relationship.


Posted by Meat187 on May-13-2010 19:48:

I bet Slylee is reading this thread right now and wants to post so badly.


Posted by infiniteJEST on May-13-2010 20:00:

quote:
Originally posted by Meat187
I bet Slylee is reading this thread right now and wants to post so badly.


I bet she did.

>.>


Posted by Lews on May-13-2010 20:10:

quote:
Originally posted by david.michael




My head hurts, I'm not having a great day, and I thought he had *fixed* your quote.


Posted by Fledz on May-13-2010 22:54:

quote:
Originally posted by Lews


My head hurts, I'm not having a great day, and I thought he had *fixed* your quote.

It's clearly a lack of iron in your diet.


Posted by kadomony on May-14-2010 01:14:

quote:
Originally posted by david.michael
SLOPPY BACON-JOB FTW


FUCKYES


Posted by Silky Johnson on May-14-2010 04:31:

quote:
Originally posted by EddieZilker
This is clearly a delicate situation you have with your man. You need to remember, first and foremost, that your man is just as worried about how you'll be handling his absence as you are about him. Don't be afraid to have a few "girls nights out", going to male-strip clubs with the girls and flirting a little.

There's nothing wrong with a little after-party, while he's home trying to catch some rest. Bring the girls and one or two of their new male "friends" home with you. You should be plenty intoxicated since, because he is stressed out, he will need to discharge his stress through a relentless barrage of insisting he needs his rest and questioning you about what you are thinking. The alcohol will help ease the sting of his remarks, which he really doesn't mean, and also allow you to come up with inflammatory replies which question his masculinity. Don't be afraid to escalate. His anger is key to releasing large amounts of the stress relieving hormone, cortisol.

If he doesn't wake up, for some reason, he'll feel guilty when he does if he finds out you haven't indulged in every whimsical notion which occurred in you mind. Playing a game of strip-poker, pillow-fighting, or even truth or dare, with your after party guests should pose a relief when he sees your face, in the morning, hung-over, somewhat guilty, but too tired to comprehend the scope of your debauchery.

In quiet moments it will help him cope with his long absences from your life, by reminding him that you're enjoying your space. Talk about how you're doing a lot of thinking about the future, but keep it purposefully vague. Don't remind him that your future includes him, in any way. This will help him concentrate more on his work and less on you while also posing to him a sense of mystery about your commitment, ensuring he finishes his work faster in order to have more time with you.

If he becomes needy or clingy as a result of something you said or did, get mad and impatient. If he wants to talk for an extended period, make sure your friends are calling you enough to interrupt any serious conversations. Always put text-messages first. Your friends are quite important and he's always going to be there, no matter what you do.

If he is sullen and wants to keep to himself, this is a sign of trouble. Again, angry and impatient is the way to go. Talk about how he's never around and about how even when he is, he's off in his own little world. If he's watching TV, talk about men you know who look like the attractive movie stars and sports celebrities you're both watching, and about what they did that made you laugh, the other day. If he talks about attractive women, however, you should fly into a jealous rage, leave, and don't answer your cell-phone when he calls while you're out getting your drink on, alone.

Nothing is better for a man than cooking dinner. Nothing, that is except for a dinner which has been sitting on the table for three hours and candles that are burned to their nub. When he insists that he told you he would be home by nine, insist that he said six, not nine. Then you should accuse him of cheating.

Doing all of these things, repeatedly, will ensure the sanctity of your relationship and allow him to really focus on his work. When he returns, he'll be a refreshed and new man, ready to devote all of his time to you. Remind him of everything you've done for him and when things get hot in your relationship; make sure and hold this experience without him over his head. Shit. Even when things are going well, you should still lord this over him. Making sure to spoil the most pleasant of moments with a nagging, contentious issue is the key to any healthy, successful relationship.












Posted by Ania_xox on May-14-2010 12:21:

You whore pie

I expected YOU to have more to contribute to this thread than some cackling yellow faces.


Posted by Silky Johnson on May-14-2010 14:49:

Well, speaking from personal experience - my bf is totally different than the majority of the guys that posted in this thread. He would definitely want a lot of sex. Sex is his answer for just about everything. He is very introverted as well, and doesn't really express himself verbally - but it's so obvious when something's up. I always talk to him regardless. Despite what these people say - talk is therapy. Getting your shit out in the open helps you to actually deal with it and find ways to move on, set goals, etc. Sometimes just saying how you feel sort of sets it free from your mind, too.

But yeah, I dunno. You know your bf best. As long as he knows you're there for him to offer support, what else can you do? I mean, you've already asked him specifically what he needs/wants.


Posted by Moral Hazard on May-14-2010 14:54:

quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
Sex is his answer for just about everything. He... doesn't really express himself verbally


This leads me to conclude he expresses himself, um, pelvicly?


Posted by Silky Johnson on May-14-2010 14:55:

No he's more the The Hulk. He gets either really ragey, or really quiet.


Posted by Ania_xox on May-14-2010 15:06:

That was my issue with all the "Leave me the fuck alone" answers

Men often think they know what they want, when subconsciously they want something different entirely. And it is often the opposite of what they think they want.

Those are just musings, and I love my boyfriend too much to ever accuse him of this - especially at such a stressful time.


Posted by david.michael on May-14-2010 15:09:

quote:
Originally posted by Ania_xox
Men often think they know what they want, when subconsciously they want something different entirely. And it is often the opposite of what they think they want.


Yes, that's a male attribute for sure... definitely not applicable to women at all.


Posted by Fledz on May-14-2010 15:12:

I know right!? I can't believe a woman just insinuated that women are far easier to read than men and actually know what they want and show it

Ridiculous.


Posted by david.michael on May-14-2010 15:14:

Just sayin'... even most women I know acknowledge that.


Posted by Silky Johnson on May-14-2010 15:14:

I don't think that fact is even an issue of gender. Most people are fucking morons who don't know what they want, period. Has nothing to do with what's between one's legs.


Posted by Moral Hazard on May-14-2010 15:26:

quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
Most people are fucking morons who don't know what they want, period. Has nothing to do with what's between one's legs.


Usually, what I want has everything to do with what's between one's legs








(you're making this shit too easy for me lately)


Posted by Silky Johnson on May-14-2010 15:27:


Posted by david.michael on May-14-2010 15:27:

quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
an issue of...period....between one's legs.


Summarized


Posted by Silky Johnson on May-14-2010 15:33:

Lol, and didn't you have a relationship with some psycho who cheated on you or something? Or am I thinking of someone else?


Posted by david.michael on May-14-2010 15:37:

quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
Lol, and didn't you have a relationship with some psycho who cheated on you or something? Or am I thinking of someone else?


That's me! A marriage, to be precise.

But, who hasn't done that?


Posted by Silky Johnson on May-14-2010 15:46:

Just pointing out that that your experience/view of women is skewed.


Posted by david.michael on May-14-2010 15:48:

quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
Just pointing out that that your experience/view of women is skewed.


The fact that I had the experience indicates that my view is correct.

Actually, I just like arguing.


Posted by david.michael on May-14-2010 15:49:

Honestly, I know that the gender thing doesn't really matter. I just found it odd that she mentioned it like it was a "typical male trait", when, if anything, often the opposite is considered to be the norm.

But who knows, nowadays women are getting jobs and voting and all kinds of crazy shit.


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