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-- Shit you said while high/drunk/otherwise fuked up
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| Originally posted by Moongoose I love you |
I stormed in Mcdonalds and repeatedly yelled 'wheres Grimace!!? I know you're performing genetic experiments on him! He used to be a normal looking guy!! Bring him out here!'
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| Originally posted by Fledz The old "awkward drunk teenager and still haven't learnt how to talk to girls" phase? lol, we've all been there. Epic times were had. |
My friend got me way too fucked one night and asked me the question that had him worried for the past year or so, "so ray, I know that you are real close to steph (his g/f) and in the past year you guys have become really good friends but do you have feelings for her??" my response was, "umm I think I'm in love with her..." it took me a day of recovering to realize what I said and the friendship has never been the same again.
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| Originally posted by jenga I stormed in Mcdonalds and repeatedly yelled 'wheres Grimace!!? I know you're performing genetic experiments on him! He used to be a normal looking guy!! Bring him out here!' |
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| Originally posted by couch-potato One summer break during high school I got free ice cream at Dairy Queen for my pals up on a trip in British Columbia because I was too stoned to order so the manager came out and declared me baked and awarded us cones. Technically it was not something I said but this qualifies because most people here don't remember theirs either  |
bombed off jameson, check my phone in the morning and see this convo i had with this girl at 6am. apparently she texted me first at 4am and I replied with get in a cab and come over, we can cuddle it's not that serious LOL
i supposed thats better then texting lemme just put the tip in
^^^^^Smmmmoooooooooooooooooooooootttthhhhhh! 
One chick I just met by the bar at the club yammering in my ear about some nonsense with her friend... and I was bombed as fuck. At some point I just got annoyed to shit where I just thought out loud: "you know, you don't sweat much for a fat chick". She slapped me (hard!) and stormed off. But she was mega-Snooky-like annoying.. I still felt bad tho. And my friends kept on asking me about handprint on my face. Fucking bitch left me with a bruise!
when i lived in calgary before i got married i was friends with a couple of guys that lived next door.. one late night/early morning they got really drunk & stoned and wandered down the street towards the safeway. When they noticed the back door was open, they walked in, found some butchers aprons, put them on and started labeling meat.. and eating bananas. it didn't take long for someone to find them and the cops came and put them in the drunk tank.
took too much acid before a party...got to the security guard and i said "i'm too fucked up"...sent me to the hospital for 4 days
some dude: "hey man do you remember your first blowjob?"
me: "lol yeah"
that dude again: "how did it taste?"
me: "wut"
like 10 seconds later
me: "oh wtf not cool man"
Once really high with and a friend in his car:
Me: "hold my hand please"
Him: "ok" *holds hand*
Me: "I'm here when you hold my hand. But if you let go, I'll be gone. So don't let go because I want to stay here. I don't want to be gone yet"
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| Originally posted by floyd741 some dude: "hey man do you remember your first blowjob?" me: "lol yeah" that dude again: "how did it taste?" me: "wut" like 10 seconds later me: "oh wtf not cool man" |
i was trying to call someone a dumb idiot once when i was on E i think...
but i called him a dumbit. i use it a lot now.
I sat down at a table filled with Polish people. I asked them how they liked living in America after leaving their shithole called Poland. I then explained to them the reason why they had big heads was from the Russians putting nuclear waste in their water supply. That was this past saturday night. I feel very bad now since they are actually really nice people.
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| Originally posted by floyd741 some dude: "hey man do you remember your first blowjob?" me: "lol yeah" that dude again: "how did it taste?" me: "wut" like 10 seconds later me: "oh wtf not cool man" |
I would have been like: "Ziiiiip *take cock out* - why don't you find out for yourself?" 
If you were really f'd up how can you remember?
way, way, way too many ridiculous have happened to me while drunk. the most recent;
argued with a random girl at a club for about 10 minutes over nothing and then proceeded to hit on her, left the club and ran a couple of miles in the freezing cold wearing a skin tight t-shirt (while i had enough change to pay for the streetcar which passed by me about 10 times), stopped off at mcdonalds to refuel and continued my run until a friend finally found me with a cab only to realize we both didn't have enough money to pay. so as the cab dropped us off I found a jar of change at my place and paid the driver 30 dollars in quarters.
other than that i've done some incredibly stupid things; broke a mirror at my highschool dance with my fist (and bled all over the place til I was nauseous, was let off by a nice cop), gotten into various fights, black eye, swollen lip, chipped a tooth, fought a bouncer, kicked my friends car and dented it, peed on a car handle (the guy was an asshole), threw a bottle at a cab and and had 10 serbian taxi drivers after me, fought a dog (in serbia), had my foot run over by a car, found myself on the opposite side of the city multiple times, and some other unmentionables.
i'm a very sloppy drunk... trying to change that.
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| Originally posted by RapidFire way, way, way too many ridiculous have happened to me while drunk. the most recent; argued with a random girl at a club for about 10 minutes over nothing and then proceeded to hit on her, left the club and ran a couple of miles in the freezing cold wearing a skin tight t-shirt (while i had enough change to pay for the streetcar which passed by me about 10 times), stopped off at mcdonalds to refuel and continued my run until a friend finally found me with a cab only to realize we both didn't have enough money to pay. so as the cab dropped us off I found a jar of change at my place and paid the driver 30 dollars in quarters. other than that i've done some incredibly stupid things; broke a mirror at my highschool dance with my fist (and bled all over the place til I was nauseous, was let off by a nice cop), gotten into various fights, black eye, swollen lip, chipped a tooth, fought a bouncer, kicked my friends car and dented it, peed on a car handle (the guy was an asshole), threw a bottle at a cab and and had 10 serbian taxi drivers after me, fought a dog (in serbia), had my foot run over by a car, found myself on the opposite side of the city multiple times, and some other unmentionables. i'm a very sloppy drunk... trying to change that. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by RapidFire (the guy was an asshole) |
Wasn't me but this was the conversation between a buddy of mine and a campus safety officer a few years ago after the campus cop busted him for lying drunk outside the steps of my place during a house party:
Campus Safety: Who is the president of the United States?
Buddy: Why do I need to answer?
Officer: It's part of a sobriety test
Buddy: But you haven't even read me my rights yet.
Officer: Please answer the question
Buddy: George W. Bush
Officer: Thank you
Buddy: Now you tell me officer, who is the president of India?
Officer: Umm , I'm not sure
Buddy: So as per campus safety protocol, do i arrest you?
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| Originally posted by raveed Wasn't me but this was the conversation between a buddy of mine and a campus safety officer a few years ago after the campus cop busted him for lying drunk outside the steps of my place during a house party: Campus Safety: Who is the president of the United States? Buddy: Why do I need to answer? Officer: It's part of a sobriety test Buddy: But you haven't even read me my rights yet. Officer: Please answer the question Buddy: George W. Bush Officer: Thank you Buddy: Now you tell me officer, who is the president of India? Officer: Umm , I'm not sure Buddy: So as per campus safety protocol, do i arrest you? |
wanna be my boyfriend to an ugly bitch at a club
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| Originally posted by Mattinsanity go insane because sane people are too scared to get their freak on. fuck the past. the past is the past. jesus will always love me and wants an intimate relationship. |
Just added to my own thread... did a "wake and bake" this morning. come to have breakfast, my girl looks at me and says "did you get fucked up already, coz your eyes are red?"
me: "just because my eyes are high, doesn't mean I'm red" err... end of conversation. 
i threatened a new york cabbie with a shish-kebab stick yelling that I would stab him if he didn't stfu, as per my friend
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