What makes a tune sound professional?

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Posted by itsamemario on Feb-13-2012 00:37:

PLUGINS

Posted by Normie on Feb-13-2012 01:16:

quote:
Originally posted by dj_alfi
PLUGINS

Plugins teh suck. Real pros use hardware...and only ANALOG hardware...
Did Wendy Carlos use plugins? Did Emerson? Even Dolby? I think not. Thus no professional sounding music can or will ever be created with 'plug-ins'. That's just a fact.

I'm KIDDING, I'm KIDDING!!! No, don't hit me with that Modular!

Posted by Vector A on Feb-13-2012 01:23:

True pros use reel to reel analog tape, some scrap metal from a junkyard, and a big empty warehouse for reverb.

Posted by Normie on Feb-13-2012 01:53:

quote:
Originally posted by Vector A
True pros use reel to reel analog tape, some scrap metal from a junkyard, and a big empty warehouse for reverb.

We both forgot to mention tubes. Those RR machines have to be tube driven. The solid State machines lack true tube analog warmth. And those tubes must be NOS from the original German factories dug up from a warehouse buried during the war.

As you can imagine, these are rare, and thus the reason music today sucks. Had British Lancasters not bombed them, we'd have better music.

Why was Techno so big in Germany? They found the remaining tubes and made REAL techno.

It's all becoming clear to me now!

Posted by itsamemario on Feb-13-2012 02:06:

Posted by Normie on Feb-13-2012 02:11:

quote:
Originally posted by dj_alfi
OH YEAH MY BAD I MEANT BUTTPLUGS!

No, buttplugs often result in sounds even less musical than plugins. Take some DJ Jersey dork wannabee and apply a large buttplug. Does ththe resulting melodic output sound remotely musical to you? No, I didn't think so. Even when applied 'professionally' I wouldn't call it musical.

Posted by cryophonik on Feb-13-2012 02:14:

quote:
Originally posted by Normie
Plugins teh suck. Real pros use hardware...and only ANALOG hardware...
Did Wendy Carlos use plugins? Did Emerson? Even Dolby? I think not. Thus no professional sounding music can or will ever be created with 'plug-ins'. That's just a fact.

I'm KIDDING, I'm KIDDING!!! No, don't hit me with that Modular!

Yeah, and real pros see everything in black or white. It's either awesome, or it sucks, even if most people can't hear the difference. Always. Under every circumstance. There is no in-between, and no such thing as context.

Posted by Vector A on Feb-13-2012 02:14:

^ Add some Autotune and buttplug noises can be quite useful.

Posted by Normie on Feb-13-2012 02:18:

quote:
Originally posted by Vector A
^ Add some Autotune and buttplug noises can be quite useful.

Sure, you CAN use a buttplug as an insert effect and sample/stretch it, but then you're into experimental, ambient or Dubstep. Few realize that that's the basis for the Skrillex growl bass. It's a pitched insertion - nothing more. Very analog sounding and gutteral.
And it has to be voltage controlled, not digital. Otherwise it's just more soulless crap.

Posted by Normie on Feb-13-2012 02:25:

quote:
Originally posted by cryophonik
Yeah, and real pros see everything in black or white. It's either awesome, or it sucks, even if most people can't hear the difference. Always. Under every circumstance. There is no in-between, and no such thing as context.

Exactly! I don't get why people miss the obvious. Music has one way to do things. If there was variety, logically how can you call it 'music'? Is a car a truck? No and because they share wheels I can see why people of lesser intelligence could see a difference, but a car will never be a truck, even if you take a sawzall to it.

Likewise, music is done solely on tube driven analog hardware. And the crap they did in the 1700s doesn't count. There were no tubes involved - ergo, by definition anything made with sticks, wood and dead cats cannot be music.

Thank God someone here sees the logic in all this.

Posted by EddieZilker on Feb-13-2012 05:51:

Is buttplug a limiter?

I've never heard of it.

Posted by cryophonik on Feb-13-2012 05:58:

quote:
Originally posted by EddieZilker
Is buttplug a limiter?

I've never heard of it.

Sure you have:

Posted by future_newbie on Feb-13-2012 08:27:

quote:
Originally posted by EddieZilker
I really dislike your avatar.

w h y?

Posted by itsamemario on Feb-13-2012 13:35:

quote:
Originally posted by EddieZilker
Is buttplug a limiter?

I've never heard of it.

Yes. It works as a brickwall limiter, until you see 'it'.

Posted by mathieu on Feb-13-2012 18:59:

quote:
Originally posted by EddieZilker
Is buttplug a limiter?

I've never heard of it.

I once had a drunken late night encounter with an engineer who claimed it was his secret tool, I must add that I had met him on Craigslist.
To my surprise, when I arrived at his studio not one piece of gear could be seen.

Posted by Normie on Feb-13-2012 23:39:

0
quote:
Originally posted by mathieu
I once had a drunken late night encounter with an engineer who claimed it was his secret tool, I must add that I had met him on Craigslist.
To my surprise, when I arrived at his studio not one piece of gear could be seen.

But did he 'make you famous"?

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