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Originally posted by AlphaStarred I just called my psych. and told her that I definitely feel like I'm manic, and that people on the internet think so too. I can't wait to tell her about all these lists I've been posting (you gotta admit, though, they were pretty cool threads). I really hope I can get back to my normal self soon, it's hell living like this. I've been on several different anti-psychotics, and nothing is helping. The only time something helped was when Risperdal made me a completely emotionless zombie for a week, and then I got back to normal. But I stopped the medication, and after only 2 days seemed to have induced another manic/hypomanic episode, which has been with me for several months now.

Just curious, do you exercise much?

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Originally posted by Lira That's what the professional help would be for

I see professional help, and one well-known psychiatrist told me that if I don't get on medication, I'll likely become violent and get involuntarily hospitalized. When a person is not in his right mind, you don't tell him to go and do something awesome.

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Originally posted by itsamemario Walk in on your dad hanging from a rope tied to your living room ceiling. Some people just don't get back from that, no matter how hardcore the counseling sessions get. I haven't had shit like that happen to me, but I did see a cat pretty much off itself by jumping off the ledge of a 5th story window, actually it was my friend who killed himself's cat, had to run around on a sunday afternoon with a dying cat in my hands trying to find a vet because I was too much of a pussy to end its suffering / stupid enough to think he could've been saved. I probably should have tried to bond with my friend over a shared "suicide story" but I was too embarrassed over not having been watching the cat more closely. But he was usually rocking the window ledge on the other side of the apt, so I wasnt expecting him to jump ffs You know, shit happen, and that shit stayed with me for months, switch out the cat with your family and 'jumping out window' with 'slaughtered by child soldiers'. Some things you can't get over. And if you'd rather kill yourself, than go insane and go on a killing spree, then you should be allowed to do so. A real friend would be able to tell long before you actually went through with anything, unless you're taking impulse pills, and I mean, if you're doing drugs of those kinds you're already pretty much in the danger zone already. But yeah, you know.. "Don't do it bro".

You're right some don't ever recover but I had a friend who had this real pretty girlfriend. Well, she started telling this story of how when she was 6 or 7 (old enough to remember) her mom blew her brains out right in front of her, She later graduated from grad school as a child psychologist.

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Originally posted by Desiderata she started telling this story of how when she was 6 or 7 (old enough to remember) her mom blew her brains out right in front of her, She later graduated from grad school as a child psychologist.

holy shit. I would not be able to cope with that! I probably wouldn't be able to function properly as a human being...

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Originally posted by PivotTechno Just curious, do you exercise much?

Nah, but I do take long walks and swim at the beach. I exercised last year, but it wasn't helping my condition too much.

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Originally posted by AlphaStarred That's what several previous psychiatrists said, but my current psych. says I don't present with symptoms of mania, despite my telling her that I don't feel at all like my "normal" self, and that most of my activities and thoughts/emotions are completely uncharacteristic of me. Thanks, bro. Yeah, I thought about that, too. I'm making all these fucking lists. Good point, I'll mention it to my psych.

Psychiatrists tell you what they want you to hear. I know first hand. You see them once a week, two weeks, month, 2 months, etc. If every time they see you they tell you something about you being really manic and they are worried about you would defeat their purpose to get you well. They tell you to think positive and your mental illness isn't as bad as you make it out to be, the feelings you are feeling are normal because they want to get you on your feet again whether it's with Med's or without Med's. I've always been to the one's that try to get me off my meds so that's all I know.
Now if you truly are being manic to the point in concerns them about you then they will let you know but also ask what has happened today or what has happened since the last time I saw you. They will try to understand why you are acting so manic but they aren't going to tell you every time because it's a defeating purpose.

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Originally posted by Tyler James holy shit. I would not be able to cope with that! I probably wouldn't be able to function properly as a human being...

We're pretty reilient, you never know. How about all those Holocaust survivors who lost their entire families, but were still able to live on, emigrate, start a new life, and eventually have families of their own?

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Originally posted by Desiderata Psychiatrists tell you what they want you to hear. I know first hand. You see them once a week, two weeks, month, 2 months, etc. If every time they see you they tell you something about you being really manic and they are worried about you would defeat their purpose to get you well. They tell you to think positive and your mental illness isn't as bad as you make it out to be, the feelings you are feeling are normal because they want to get you on your feet again whether it's with Med's or without Med's. I've always been to the one's that try to get me off my meds so that's all I know. Now if you truly are being manic to the point in concerns them about you then they will let you know but also ask what has happened today or what has happened since the last time I saw you. They will try to understand why you are acting so manic but they aren't going to tell you every time because it's a defeating purpose.

Dude, one doesn't 'act' manic. One either is manic, or he's not. One either is Bipolar, or he's not. If you're manic, then medication is pretty much the only thing that can save you. You want to know what a psychiatrist may say to a manic person? Read my post above, about what the well-known psychiatrist said to me.

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Originally posted by AlphaStarred I just called my psych. and told her that I definitely feel like I'm manic, and that people on the internet think so too. I can't wait to tell her about all these lists I've been posting (you gotta admit, though, they were pretty cool threads). I really hope I can get back to my normal self soon, it's hell living like this. I've been on several different anti-psychotics, and nothing is helping. The only time something helped was when Risperdal made me a completely emotionless zombie for a week, and then I got back to normal. But I stopped the medication, and after only 2 days seemed to have induced another manic/hypomanic episode, which has been with me for several months now.

If you need anti-psychotics but you don't like feeling like a zombie then just ask them to lower your dose of Risperdal. I used to be way fucked up. When I was 18, I thought I was Jesus Christ for like 3 months, then I hide my illness in illegal drugs. Then at 28 I was diagnosed and given medication. After the time go by, you find yourself not needing the medication as much as in the beginning of your diagnosis. Your diagnosis has a mind of it's own at times, well most of the time, and you shouldn't just stop taking hardcore meds like Risperdal after 2 weeks. I know you think you're feeling better but in the beginning is the most crucal time to be medicated. After time goes by your life builds on its self like Castles in the Sky (lol). Point being there is no one I know that after a certain length in time still needs their medication on an everyday basis.
They do it to stay high I hear but you build up such a tolerance I don't relate to that group. Then there are some that sell their medication and then there's people like me that pay for my scripts and then take them how I see fit,

I had a point in here somewhere. lol.

Anyhow, I know you didn't call your psych to tell her people on the internet are telling you that you are acting manic. That's just silly slang.

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Originally posted by AlphaStarred I see professional help, and one well-known psychiatrist told me that if I don't get on medication, I'll likely become violent and get involuntarily hospitalized. When a person is not in his right mind, you don't tell him to go and do something awesome.

Lira is right, go and do something awesome it will release chemicals in your brain that make you feel good. The same with exercise. And if you are really that down then I'm sure you have some awesome medication, why not pop a couple extra from your regular dose and go walking downtown.

And some medication like Seroquel, Ambient, Risperdal, can cause ager rages in certain people.

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Originally posted by Desiderata If you need anti-psychotics but you don't like feeling like a zombie then just ask them to lower your dose of Risperdal. I used to be way fucked up. When I was 18, I thought I was Jesus Christ for like 3 months, then I hide my illness in illegal drugs. Then at 28 I was diagnosed and given medication. After the time go by, you find yourself not needing the medication as much as in the beginning of your diagnosis. Your diagnosis has a mind of it's own at times, well most of the time, and you shouldn't just stop taking hardcore meds like Risperdal after 2 weeks. I know you think you're feeling better but in the beginning is the most crucal time to be medicated. After time goes by your life builds on its self like Castles in the Sky (lol). Point being there is no one I know that after a certain length in time still needs their medication on an everyday basis. They do it to stay high I hear but you build up such a tolerance I don't relate to that group. Then there are some that sell their medication and then there's people like me that pay for my scripts and then take them how I see fit, I had a point in here somewhere. lol. Anyhow, I know you didn't call your psych to tell her people on the internet are telling you that you are acting manic. That's just silly slang.

I feel like the only way I can get back to normal is if I become a zombie again, first. Because that's the only time I got back to normal - by first getting zombified. I told my psych to zombify me again since I think it's the only solution, but she adamantly disagrees.

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Originally posted by Desiderata Lira is right, go and do something awesome it will release chemicals in your brain that make you feel good. The same with exercise. And if you are really that down then I'm sure you have some awesome medication, why not pop a couple extra from your regular dose and go walking downtown. And some medication like Seroquel, Ambient, Risperdal, can cause ager rages in certain people.

Dude I can hardly walk on the streets! I feel like a psychopath and like I'm going to hurt, or get into a fight with, someone.

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Originally posted by Desiderata They don't give life insurance on suicides.

that was not what I meant

Eat well, exercise, and socialize.

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Originally posted by Desiderata but you always wanted to be born in 1984

I think Yevgeny Zamyatin's 'We' was better than Orwell's '1984.' Supposedly the latter was influenced by Zamyatin. I was born in 1984, the year of the rat. And don't you dare call me a Jew rat.

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On ahahahahahaa, holy shit. Is there a thread where this is from?

IGK linked to the thread that pic is from. If you want the rant in its original form, refer to this thread.

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Originally posted by AlphaStarred Dude, one doesn't 'act' manic. One either is manic, or he's not. One either is Bipolar, or he's not. If you're manic, then medication is pretty much the only thing that can save you. You want to know what a psychiatrist may say to a manic person? Read my post above, about what the well-known psychiatrist said to me.

Dude, I go to the same places that you do (just probably not as often as I used to and probably not as often as you do)

My point wasn't that they are going to take away your meds and kick you out the door and while telling you "YOU'RE NOT ACTING MANIC TODAY"

And yes, you can act manic. Being Manic myself but it's only a subcategory for me, I know that on certain days, you can act more manic than on other days. It's an action that is caused by something that isn't on the surface of the mind. So yes, you may not be able to control your manic-ness but their are days when you will act less or more manic.

The places you go are similar to the places I go and they always focus on the positive and try to down play your manic-ness. That way with their positive reinforcement on you, you won't always be thinking "Am I manic"? "Am I acting Manic"? "I shouldn't go out today because I'm feeling manic"

I had this psychiatrist for 3 years and I saw him once a month and a therapist that I saw once a week, Well, that psychiatrist was in his late 70's, mega gear head and about to die. Anyway, he told me that all these med's are bullshit and most young people can wing themselves of all med's that deal with mental illness and live a normal life with a lot of courage. Once you start getting into your 50's and 60's and haven't winged yourself off then you're more than likely a lifer for med's. The other people that are usually lifers on med's are people that have pain issues, bad back or another part of the body. I know they give shots in the back in Pain Management but my mom said it only keeps the pain away for a few weeks.

act

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Originally posted by Spacey Orange Eat well, exercise, and socialize.

Easier said than done. I ate well for 2 weeks, fruits and vegetables, no sugar. Hardly helped. Same with exercise. When I try to socialize, I feel aggressive towards people - even with family and friends.

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Originally posted by AlphaStarred Dude I can hardly walk on the streets! I feel like a psychopath and like I'm going to hurt, or get into a fight with, someone.

Been there, I'm gonna PM you something,

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Originally posted by AlphaStarred I think Yevgeny Zamyatin's 'We' was better than Orwell's '1984.' Supposedly the latter was influenced by Zamyatin. I was born in 1984, the year of the rat. And don't you dare call me a Jew rat.

I was talking about Lira, he said he wanted to be born in 1984 once or twice

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Originally posted by Desiderata I was talking about Lira, he said he wanted to be born in 1984 once or twice

True... then I read the book and that rant is the result of me sharing my feelings in a thread about the worst books we've ever read

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Originally posted by Lira True... then I read the book and that rant is the result of me sharing my feelings in a thread about the worst books we've ever read

Ha

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Originally posted by Desiderata I'm sorry that you lost so many friends that way but then again when I think of you, I can't help to think you might have killed them.

I know at least one of the suicides was a surreptitiously executed murder, but he was barely an acquaintance, and I can assure you I had absolutely nothing to do with it.
When my ex-thingie told me about it, among some other insane shit, it kinda flipped me over to lala land for a minute or two.
But you know, you reap what you sow, ie Hang out with murderers and criminals, pedos etc. and your life is bound to turn to shit, and it rightfully should too. It would be nice with a headsup when you're at an afterparty with fucking people smugglers etc, but fucking drug addicts are too busy "not being snitches" that they're actually supporting murderers, pedos and whatevers worse than that.. Probably bankers, amirite?
Anyways, so glad I got to leave that life with relatively few scars.

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Originally posted by AlphaStarred We're pretty resilient, you never know. How about all those Holocaust survivors who lost their entire families, but were still able to live on, emigrate, start a new life, and eventually have families of their own?

I'm saying that I wouldn't be able to function properly. I can barely handle the traumatic experiences I had as a child, and they are far less worse than her's.

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Originally posted by Tyler James I'm saying that I wouldn't be able to function properly. I can barely handle the traumatic experiences I had as a child, and they are far less worse than her's.

It was a wicked story and we were all doing coke so it was intense.

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