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- Chill Out Room
-- i'm tired of my life COR. might as well crash and burn.
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Originally posted by Lira I'm aware, but I've yet to see a fattie breaking into people's houses and stealing stereos so they can get another doughnut hit. I mean, even if you banned the stuff, what are the odds outlaws would rent cheap houses and turn them into cake labs? Sugar is bad, but the drugs he wants to do are way worse.

I get it they stole your car.

Drugs solve everything. My life is just as shit as it always was, but I just don't care anymore.

quote:

Originally posted by AlphaStarred Also, I hope everyone is aware that feeling depressed and having clinical Depression are two completely different things. Based on my own experience, I do believe that all mental illness may be a kind of chemical imbalance in the brain.

Yes, of course, which is the point IGK is fumbling ineptly towards. I do not have a mental illness, neither does Singularity55 and neither, it seems, does the OP. What I had was persistent and extremely low mood caused by external factors, which is something curable. A mental illness causing depression is something the sufferer must generally live with throughout their life.

However, there is no doubt that I had a serious problem. For 13 continuous months I felt a lowness that was so overwhelming it manifested itself as a physical sensation - my chest constantly felt painfully tight, my head felt drained of fluid. I suffered from insomnia, I drank at every opportunity, I would walk the streets aimlessly at 3am getting stopped by the police and not caring if someone jumped me. I remember walking home drunk from somewhere, passing some train lines and thinking very carefully about killing myself - different methods, whether I'd feel any pain, whether I had the courage to do it. The only person I ever spoke to about my feelings was my mother, when I sat her down and told her I thought she needed to know that I was seriously thinking of killing myself.

If IGK thinks calling the above "depression" is using the term too lightly, then he's welcome to his dipshit opinion. Whatever you want to call it, it was the worst period of my life by some distance, and when I started taking drugs it was such an amazing, euphoric experience it lifted me out of it almost straight away. It gave me the ability to open up and reflect on my problems from a different perspective. Within a few months I'd sorted out a lot of the problems I'd been too deep in a pit previously to rationally overcome.

Everyone is different, and drugs affect everyone differently. It's that simple.

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Originally posted by SYSTEM-J A mental illness causing depression is something the sufferer must generally live with throughout their life.

If the mental illness itself is clinical Depression (i.e. Major Depressive Episode not comorbid with anything else), then it may only manifest itself once during a person's lifetime. If it's something like Bipolar or Schizophrenia, it usually becomes a lifelong illness to manage.

The way you described your mental state, it does sound like a kind of clinical depression (I can't diagnose you or get into your shoes, of course), and the fact that you mentioned that drugs helped you was the reason I mentioned the Ketamine and Shroom trials. I agree that certain drugs can sometimes help, but often they also make things worse - which makes me neither an outright advocate nor an outright proponent. It also depends on the drugs and other factors, of course, and if you can choose between self-medicating and doing it in a clinical setting - the latter option would generally be much safer.

As for Iboga - it did help me for some time, but as aforementioned, I certainly didn't feel "normal," even though I was ostensibly better. If they ever do start clinical trials and it proves to have medicinal value and they ultimately find a way to dose it correctly, I wouldn't hesitate to try it again. Until then I'm exploring other avenues. If I was suffering from only depresion I would definitely consider signing up for the Ketamine trials or trying shrooms again if meds failed.

quote:

Everyone is different, and drugs affect everyone differently. It's that simple.

Just curious - what drugs lifted you out of that black pit? I'm guessing either psychedelics or ecstasy?

As for the OP, who doesn't seem to be suffering from a mental illness, I will say that using drugs certainly can lead to mental illness - so just keep that in mind, among other things.

quote:

Originally posted by AlphaStarred Just curious - what drugs lifted you out of that black pit? I'm guessing either psychedelics or ecstasy?

Yeah, it was E.

One last thing I want to mention to the OP - if you're looking for a thrill, and you just have to do some sort of drug(s), just smoke a reefer and enjoy some music or something. If that's not enough for you and you need harder drugs at your age, then you certainly should be seeking help instead, because you may have bigger issues to deal with. Go help some people or join a food kitchen instead, you'll feel much better.

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J Yeah, it was E.

Yeah, I heard it can be beneficial for depression - even for Bipolar and Schizophrenia - but the reports I'd read about the latter usually mentioned only temporary relief, which is one of the reasons I haven't tried it yet.

quote:

Originally posted by AlphaStarred Yeah, I heard it can be beneficial for depression - even for Bipolar and Schizophrenia - but the reports I'd read about the latter usually mentioned only temporary relief, which is one of the reasons I haven't tried it yet.

Never ever, or not since you developed your condition?

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J Never ever, or not since you developed your condition?

Sorry, was going to edit and write since my condition. Yeah, before this whole mess, I did a bunch of stuff "recreationally." E was very likely the thing I enjoyed most. Acid I'm never, ever going to touch again unless the doctors make me. What a total mindfuck.

When I was nearly 26 and left for Korea, drugs had completely lost their appeal for me. It's like that old adage - once you've learned what the psychedelics had to teach you (I don't think they taught me anything) - it's time to hang up the phone. Me and my close (Muslim) friend in Korea could've easily gotten some coke, but we didn't care for it - we were in somewhat of a similar boat - down to smoke pot (which couldn't be found), but otherwise only settled for liqour.

If/when I get back to my normal self, I don't think I'm going to touch another drug again, ever. At least I hope not.

The funny thing is, Jack, if I were my "normal" self, we might even get along quite well (not to say we can't now). Sorry dude, didn't mean to steal your birthright (being somewhat facetious). I'm a completely different person, normally, and some of the things I'd written here over the past few years, wouldn't even normally enter my mind.

No getting along on my watch peasants and muckers.

I'm enlightened and enhanced

Yeah, TA wouldn't be what it was if everyone just got along, eh?

quote:

Originally posted by Jon_Snow I get it they stole your car.

And all I got was a lousy sweaty t-shirt

quote:

Originally posted by AlphaStarred Acid I'm never, ever going to touch again unless the doctors make me. What a total mindfuck.

LOL, I had a great time on every acid trip I ever took. But yeah, it's pretty fucking intense. Just the length of it

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Just the length of it

Were still talking about acid right?

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk LOL, I had a great time on every acid trip I ever took. But yeah, it's pretty fucking intense. Just the length of it

Funny thing is, an Iboga flood dose makes acid look like a complete joke. I still have some here just in case, but I don't ever want to do another flood dose. When I took it in Spain, I thought I'd either end up in an asylum there and never return home, or dead. If not that, I thought I'd at the very least end up in the hospital with an attached catheter while tripping balls. Absolutely nuts.

I was so tripped out and paranoid that I thought since I couldn't urinate, I'd urinate inside my own body (some kind of crazy urinary retention) and die. My sitter kept having to reassure me that it wouldn't happen and that I'd be fine - I just had to get (lay) through the trip.

quote:

Originally posted by Jon_Snow Were still talking about acid right?

You tell me

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Originally posted by AlphaStarred Funny thing is, an Iboga flood dose makes acid look like a complete joke. I still have some here just in case, but I don't ever want to do another flood dose. When I took it in Spain, I thought I'd either end up in an asylum there and never return home, or dead. If not that, I thought I'd at the very least end up in the hospital with an attached catheter while tripping balls. Absolutely nuts. I was so tripped out and paranoid that I thought since I couldn't urinate, I'd urinate inside my own body (some kind of crazy urinary retention) and die. My sitter kept having to reassure me that it wouldn't happen and that I'd be fine - I just had to get (lay) through the trip.

Imagine having a catheter inserted while you're that fucked up

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Imagine having a catheter inserted while you're that fucked up

That's exactly what was going through my head...for hours. I was about to ask my sitter and his friend to take me to the hospital because I couldn't pee, but I was finally able to. If only I just went when my body couldn't hold it anymore, instead of trying to force it (you kinda have to on Iboga, unless you just wait, perhaps). Insane.

Alphastarred system-j told me your true weakness is that you're highly susceptible to becoming brainwashed

System J- alphastarred told me if you don't read at least a full letter in a dictionary per day the chances you will suffer a conniption increases by 400%

quote:

Originally posted by Jon_Snow I get the gist of what you're saying but no medication even anti depressants cure depression. It be like saying a painkiller cured your arthritis. Just as depression is a loose term people tend to throw around.

What is this bullshit based on? Get a clue please. If you're a noob on a subject just don't say anything. I realise however that you always feel the need to say stupid shit about subjects you know nothing about, but seriously, maybe after 4+ years it's a good time to stop it.

related:
https://www.vice.com/read/microdosi...-depression-184

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J What I had was persistent and extremely low mood caused by external factors, which is something curable. A mental illness causing depression is something the sufferer must generally live with throughout their life.

I don't think that's correct, a mental illness can be temporary and it can be caused by external factors. Not all mental illnesses are lifelong diseases caused by genetics.

The chances of falling back into depression after the first time are in fact quite high, so to say you can't ever truly be "cured" of depression isn't too far off the mark.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2169519/

dunno hijack this thread!!! this shit still exsists??? thought it went the way like myspace.can somebody check the last time i posted .LOL

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk LOL, I had a great time on every acid trip I ever took. But yeah, it's pretty fucking intense. Just the length of it

That's what always got me about acid too... it just lasts way too long. A friend of mine has been considering trying acid recently so he asked me about it. I told him, "It's incredible for the first three hours, after that you just want it to stop." I can't remember a single trip that didn't eventually turn into me lying on the couch watching some crappy movie just begging to come down so I can go to sleep.

quote:

Originally posted by Moral Hazard That's what always got me about acid too... it just lasts way too long. A friend of mine has been considering trying acid recently so he asked me about it. I told him, "It's incredible for the first three hours, after that you just want it to stop." I can't remember a single trip that didn't eventually turn into me lying on the couch watching some crappy movie just begging to come down so I can go to sleep.

Yeah, it really just starts to break your brain after that long. 6 hours I could deal with fine, but 12+ hours is just... exhausting, lol.

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