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First oncology consultation was today. Based on initial pathology reports, it appears to be the second most common HL type - multiple cellularity HL. However, there is reason to believe it may have jumped to at least one adrenal gland, but further tests/scans will be needed to confirm. Four appointments next week - surgery for a chemo port, bone marrow biopsy, and additional tests/scans to stage. I don't know whether to cry or cry.

Have you considered crying?

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Have you considered crying?

Only all day, every day. Truth told, however, I suspect my first real, good breakdown will come the first time I see her sick from chemo. I am overly empathetic by nature, and this causes me to "feel" others' pain when I see them hurting. It's why I could never do what you and the wife do for a living. I know, in my mind, that you're both truly helping people. But were I in that role, in person, every time sometime I did to help resulted in visible, physical pain to the person, my mind makes it "real" to me, physically, and I feel sick. Crazy, eh?

Most def. I am not overly empathetic by nature (I know, shocking), which is exactly what makes it pretty "easy" to do my job. My desire to take care of people doesn't come from that place of deep empathy, but rather a sense of duty to others, not being in a vulnerable or less fortunate position myself. The kind of empathy I have is definitely a consciously learned kind. Compassion would be a better label, although not the first one that comes to mind when describing myself, lol.

You sound like Will Graham (Thomas Harris character from Red Dragon)!

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Most def. I am not overly empathetic by nature (I know, shocking), which is exactly what makes it pretty "easy" to do my job. My desire to take care of people doesn't come from that place of deep empathy, but rather a sense of duty to others, not being in a vulnerable or less fortunate position myself. The kind of empathy I have is definitely a consciously learned kind. Compassion would be a better label, although not the first one that comes to mind when describing myself, lol. You sound like Will Graham (Thomas Harris character from Red Dragon)!

Sounds like you and the wife are very much cut from the same cloth. Must be a crazy blonde nurse thing. You blonde, JP?

Yes, but come on and learn to stats. Correlation does not imply causation! My crazy has persisted through every hair colour I've had over the years (although blonde is my natural colour).

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Yes, but come on and learn to stats. Correlation does not imply causation! My crazy has persisted through every hair colour I've had over the years (although blonde is my natural colour).

I've had 6 semester hours of undergrad-level statistics, thank you very much! Just enough to always conflate correlation and causation!

I aim to please, yo.

quote:

Originally posted by Zoso First oncology consultation was today. Based on initial pathology reports, it appears to be the second most common HL type - multiple cellularity HL. However, there is reason to believe it may have jumped to at least one adrenal gland, but further tests/scans will be needed to confirm. Four appointments next week - surgery for a chemo port, bone marrow biopsy, and additional tests/scans to stage. I don't know whether to cry or cry.

That's tough, all I can say is be strong
Let's hope that the other tests at least will be a little better.

quote:

Originally posted by Trance-M That's tough, all I can say is be strong Let's hope that the other tests at least will be a little better.

Thank you. This will be the most difficult experience we've endured together. I've never really had any first-hand experience with something like this. I hate it for her more than I can say. I'm not sure I'll ever feel so helpless and useless.

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