Funniest thing I've ever heard from a homeless person

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-- Funniest thing I've ever heard from a homeless person
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Posted by Orbax on Nov-03-2003 20:35:

Does anyone ever have the urge to satiate your bloodlust with a homeless person? Cuz the odds of being caught are basically nothing. Plus you are kind of doing society a favor, right? Especially if you used a cup of hot coffee with poison or something. Theyd never be able to trace it. and the murder weapon would be inside the bum! Its almost too easy...Id be scared if I were homeless.

Posted by jp on Nov-03-2003 20:37:

quote:
Originally posted by FunkySimon
It's a guy in a dog custume..

Damn these bums!

Posted by bassaholix on Nov-03-2003 21:19:

quote:
Originally posted by Orbax
Does anyone ever have the urge to satiate your bloodlust with a homeless person? Cuz the odds of being caught are basically nothing. Plus you are kind of doing society a favor, right? Especially if you used a cup of hot coffee with poison or something. Theyd never be able to trace it. and the murder weapon would be inside the bum! Its almost too easy...Id be scared if I were homeless.

Sunshine!!! WTF is on your mind? next bad shit that happens around ur area i think we know who to blame.. lol

Posted by Psionic on Nov-03-2003 21:21:

Not homeless, but a rather funny confrontation with a beggar. This happened while walking in town at camp when I was with a friend:

Beggar: You got any spare change?

Me: Sorry I don't.

Friend: Actually I might, let me check. (checks pockets, pulls out $.75). I guess I do, here you go.

Beggar: Thank you so much! (HUGS friend). Now listen, if you ever need to borrow some money, I'll lend you some.

Posted by MERTON on Nov-03-2003 21:22:

those people stink so much.. and they masturbate and poop in the downtown dallas library and against the nieman marcus parking lot building.. and also in front of city hall.. nasty freaks!!!

Posted by Trancender on Nov-04-2003 00:39:

I was walking downtown montreal with my friend and I happened to say "OH GOD" out loud...there was this bum leaning on a fire hydrant, he heard me and said, "HEY MAN DON"T USE THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN!...now give me a dollar" I just laughed and left. fuckin bums

Posted by MERTON on Nov-04-2003 01:02:

quote:
Originally posted by FunkySimon
How do you know all this? Do you follow them while they do it?

hmm you're acting a little bit suspicious

i went to that library a few times and i walked to get there. on ther way there i would pass the nieman marcus parking building.

Posted by eye_03 on Nov-04-2003 01:14:

a hobo showed my friends and i his colostomy bag. he was like "i have cancer, and i have a year to live. my shits in here kids" *lifts up his shirt to show a disgusting bag"

Posted by ASOT100 on Nov-04-2003 02:05:

i saw one guy with a sign that said "Please help, my wife is held hostage, I need money for ransom" LOL

Posted by Photo_bot_2k1 on Nov-04-2003 04:34:

was it this guy?

Posted by DjOvertime on Nov-04-2003 16:44:

we were sitting on a sidewalk eating lunch and a homeless person walks up and says to my coworker who has 2 sandwiches (one in hand and one on his lap) "hey! you look like that actor..uhhhh....don johnson...yeah...gimme a piece of that sangish"

my buddy was dumbfounded and only laughed...the guy then says "come on brutha, you got 2 sangishes...i got none"

my buddy then said "i have 2 because im hungry", but he ended up giving the guy one

Posted by Roquer on Nov-04-2003 21:10:

I used to see this one bum regularly in salt lake city. I even gave him change occasionally, since I saw him nearly every day. He was on CNN a while ago because he kidnapped elizabeth smart.

Posted by GeishaCL on Nov-04-2003 22:06:

Its like I have the words "I want to give you money" on my forehead. Bums are always coming up to my car window at gas stations...they don't really say anything out of the ordinary, but do scare the crap out of me

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