favorite quotes from The Simpsons

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- Chill Out Room
-- favorite quotes from The Simpsons
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Posted by Mr.Mystery on Aug-01-2004 14:06:

Hello, I'm Leonard Nimoy.
The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true I mean... false.
It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies... and in the end, isn't that the real truth?
The answer... is no.

Posted by Minhaj on Aug-01-2004 14:35:

quote:
Originally posted by tribu
Hey fun boys, get a room!

THE GERMAN THAT WAS LISTENING TO TRANCE

Posted by Eddie N MIAMI on Aug-01-2004 14:40:

quote:
Originally posted by Brown Gino
THE GERMAN THAT WAS LISTENING TO TRANCE

I remember that lol that guy cracked me up

Posted by Minhaj on Aug-01-2004 16:15:

Chief Wiggum: Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Posted by UWM on Aug-01-2004 16:54:

Woman, to Duffman: "You told me if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drunks."

Duffman: "Duffman says a lot of things. Ohhh Yeah!"

Posted by opianstate on Aug-01-2004 18:02:

I love the more obscure characters . . . they're always so random, like the bee man, when they show him come home from work:

(opens a cupboard and oranges come out) "Aye! Naranjas en la cabeza!"

Willie is by far my favorite character
Willie: "Ya got any grease?!"
Lunchlady: "Yes. Yes I do."
Willie: "Well then, GREASE ME UP, WOMAN!"

Posted by e*motion on Aug-01-2004 20:00:

Computer monitor: To continue push any key.

Homer: Hey, wheres the "any" key ?

Posted by Minhaj on Aug-01-2004 21:03:

Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Posted by Orbital32 on Aug-02-2004 00:33:

The best one, where homer makes a fake $10,000 payment to pbs show they can keep his show. PBS finds him and hunts down. Rev. Lovejoy ships to a 3rd world country:

Homer: I'm no missionary, I don't even believe in Jeebus! Let me out!
Guy: Sorry! No can do!
Homer: Oh! Save me Jeebus!

i found a sound bite

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad...11/mission7.mp3

Posted by Minhaj on Aug-02-2004 00:50:

quote:
Originally posted by Orbital32
The best one, where homer makes a fake $10,000 payment to pbs show they can keep his show. PBS finds him and hunts down. Rev. Lovejoy ships to a 3rd world country:

Homer: I'm no missionary, I don't even believe in Jeebus! Let me out!
Guy: Sorry! No can do!
Homer: Oh! Save me Jeebus!

i found a sound bite

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad...11/mission7.mp3

HAHAHA

Posted by J.L. on Aug-02-2004 01:29:

Homer: Oh God, where are you?

*telephone rings*

*Homer picks up phone*

Phone: Hello Homer, this is God...frey Jones from the popular TV series Hard Bottom

Posted by Paula on Aug-02-2004 02:10:

Haha i've got a postcard of this one

Lisa: You've defined yourself as a rebel. And in the absence of a repressive mileu your social niche has been co-opted.

Posted by EriK_V on Aug-02-2004 04:48:

"doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"...and the lesson is, never try..."

- Homer

Posted by Flyboy217 on Aug-02-2004 05:15:

Barney: My name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.

[The camera pulls back to reveal several similarly-attired girls.]

Lisa: Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting.

Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?

Posted by Falcon-X on Aug-02-2004 14:58:

In a new episode willie admits he's been deaf all his life but has learned to read lips :

Postman walks by ''Hi willie''
Willie ''What did you say about my mother? For your information her feet stink because she works in manure all day,... but it's still the damn best starbucks in Glascow''

Imagine it with willie's accent.

Posted by madhattared on Aug-02-2004 15:11:

H: "All work and no beer make homer go something something something..."
M: "Go Crazy?"
H: "DON'T MIND IF I DO!!"
"WELABADOO EW UH EH OH"

hehehe

Posted by A.J. on Aug-02-2004 15:12:

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.

Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right.
[Gets up and leaves]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.

Homer: You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!

Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."
Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

Homer: When will you people learn? In America we stopped using corporal punishment and things have never been better. The streets are safe, old people strut confidently trough the darkest alleys and the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer programming abilities. So, like us, let all your children run wild and free, for as the Bible tells us, "Let all your children run wild and free."

Homer: Bart, I'm not asking you to give blood for free. That would be crazy. You may not realize it now, but when you save a rich guy's life, he showers you with riches. Don't you know the story of Hercules and the Lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big, mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the villagers tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough, so they got Hercules and he used his mighty strength, and bingo. Anyway, the moral is, is that the lion was so happy, that he gave Hercules this big... thing... of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get riches?
Homer: It was the olden days.
Bart: Oh.

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

Posted by Mr.Mystery on Aug-02-2004 15:16:

quote:
Originally posted by madhattared
H: "All work and no beer make homer go something something something..."

"No TV and no beer.."

Posted by madhattared on Aug-02-2004 15:17:

Moe hooked up to the lie detector test, this one is great lol

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No! *buzz* Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. *ding*
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. *buzz* A date. *buzz* Dinner with a friend. *buzz* Dinner alone. *buzz* Watching TV alone. *buzz* Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. *buzz* Sears catalog. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *buzz*

Posted by DJ_Bod on Aug-02-2004 15:18:

Barney: "Uh oh, someone smells stinky!"
Barney: *sniff* *sniff*
Barney: "Oh, it's me."

Duffman: "Duffman says a lot of things."

Some Guy: "Congratulations Mr Gumble, you've won this years supply of beer."
Barney: "Just hook it to my veins."

I swear I'm not an alcoholic

Posted by Minhaj on Aug-02-2004 21:03:

quote:
Originally posted by madhattared
Moe hooked up to the lie detector test, this one is great lol

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No! *buzz* Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. *ding*
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. *buzz* A date. *buzz* Dinner with a friend. *buzz* Dinner alone. *buzz* Watching TV alone. *buzz* Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. *buzz* Sears catalog. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *buzz*

lol..Sears catalog

Posted by TweeK on Aug-02-2004 21:06:

Posted by websley on Aug-02-2004 21:11:

Homer: "Aaaah... Crumbled up cookie!"

Posted by CONNERMAN2000 on Aug-02-2004 21:34:

Ralph to Bart:

"And heres my sandbox. Im not allowed to go in the deep end."

Posted by Radagast on Aug-02-2004 22:26:

This thread is eerily similar to these other 80+ reply threads.

http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...hlight=simpsons

http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...hlight=simpsons

http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...hlight=simpsons

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