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Posted by jonSun on Nov-13-2006 04:03:

Exo, party a lil more, bang a few randoms. The first one prolly wont do the trick, after the 3rd it might. Hope it works out for ya.

Posted by eXo on Nov-13-2006 04:05:

quote:
Originally posted by Turbonium
What I'm trying to say is... do you believe in God? Any religions? That's what I was trying to get at.

I don't wanna thread hijack though.

I grew up catholic, made my first communion, then my parents turned non-denominational christian, and went to "spirit filled" churches. So pretty much until I turned 18, I had a lot of religion in my life, which I think I still believe in God, I'm so confused at this point in my life (as far as religion goes), I don't know what to believe in.

Posted by eXo on Nov-13-2006 04:05:

quote:
Originally posted by jonSun
Exo, party a lil more, bang a few randoms. The first one prolly wont do the trick, after the 3rd it might. Hope it works out for ya.

Thanks for the help, but I can't do that, I won't even have sex with a girl unless I have some feelings for her. That's just me *shug*.

Posted by Turbonium on Nov-13-2006 04:06:

quote:
Originally posted by eXo
I'm so confused at this point in my life (as far as religion goes), I don't know what to believe in.

Welcome to the club.

Posted by eXo on Nov-13-2006 04:08:

quote:
Originally posted by Turbonium
Welcome to the club.

I'll tell you this though.

I do believe in a higher being, and I do believe that no matter what your religion, it's all one in the same when it all boils down.

I mean, how can ones religion be better than anothers? You are what you are raised to believe, and what stronger power does that have over you? I could walk up to a buddest and tell him "Hey man, your religion is stupid", but how pointless is that? He was raised in his beliefs, as were each and everyone of us.

So right now, I believe in a greater being, because I'll be damned if I was evolved from a bunch of apes.

Haha.

Posted by jonSun on Nov-13-2006 04:10:

quote:
Originally posted by eXo
Thanks for the help, but I can't do that, I won't even have sex with a girl unless I have some feelings for her. That's just me *shug*.

Thats a good thing. I have made that same commitment to myself as of a few years ago.

Posted by eXo on Nov-13-2006 04:11:

quote:
Originally posted by jonSun
Thats a good thing. I have made that same commitment to myself as of a few years ago.

In this day and age, you can't be too careful.

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Nov-13-2006 04:17:

your religions are stupid.

Posted by jonSun on Nov-13-2006 04:20:

quote:
Originally posted by eXo
In this day and age, you can't be too careful.

yes indeed

Posted by RapidFire on Nov-13-2006 04:34:

think of it as a positive experience that you learned and grew from. yea its hard to move on and for a while it'll be hard but thats a natural process. just give it time and itll sort itself out.

Posted by nrjizer on Nov-13-2006 05:22:

This girl was trying to control your life and who you are.

Relationships are about compromise. Her asking you to quit partying/drinking/smoking 100%, to completely abstain, is NOT a compromise. Especially when you're saying that you only really party once a week or so to begin with.

I know it hurts, I know it seems like you're at fault and that you should change. But trust me, do not. Becuase if she's demonstrating her inability to compromise right now, and her desire to control you and who you are, then regardless of whether you change now, she will just threaten to leave you again in the future over some other dumb thing.

I am in the same boat as you are. My ex-girlfriend... when we met, we were perfect together. Same interests, same vulgar sense of humor, passionate, loving... she was a wonderful person. But as soon as she got comfortable with me, she started taking out all of her stress and aggrivations onto me. She manipulated me, rarely compromised with me, acted completely selfish... generally being an overall asshole. She had a lot of rough shit going on in her life, so I tried to put up with as much as I could, hoping that she would start treating me better. She did for a short while, but ultimately she never changed. Our relationship ended when she left me for her ex with whom she was in a long distance relationship prior to us meeting... she claims she loved him more because he would just "accept" her. Meaning, he would put up with her being a selfish asshole to the ends of the Earth. He would be her doormat.

And sure enough, that's exactly how she treats him. As her doormat. She convinced him to move 1000 miles to be with her so that they could "realize their dreams and start a life together." He came down all this way, and how does she repay him? By fucking some other guy on the side. And he puts up with it.

Now I'm not perfect. But I damn sure don't use other people to take out my frustrations, or to be my fucking doormat. I deserve better than this girl, and just about everyone I've ever consulted for their advice has advised me--long before she finally left me--that she was no good and that I deserved better. I know that I'm much better off without her and her fucked up games. But despite that, my heart still hurts.

Try and be strong and realize that the person worth marrying is one that won't try to stop you from partying--she'll be the one who goes out and parties with you. There's nothing wrong with committing to a relationship at your age, but there's no reason to settle down at age 23. There's a lot more life to live.

Posted by Halcyon+On+On on Nov-13-2006 05:30:

quote:
Originally posted by nrjizer
This girl was trying to control your life and who you are.

Relationships are about compromise. Her asking you to quit partying/drinking/smoking 100%, to completely abstain, is NOT a compromise. Especially when you're saying that you only really party once a week or so to begin with.

I know it hurts, I know it seems like you're at fault and that you should change. But trust me, do not. Becuase if she's demonstrating her inability to compromise right now, and her desire to control you and who you are, then regardless of whether you change now, she will just threaten to leave you again in the future over some other dumb thing.

I am in the same boat as you are. My ex-girlfriend... when we met, we were perfect together. Same interests, same vulgar sense of humor, passionate, loving... she was a wonderful person. But as soon as she got comfortable with me, she started taking out all of her stress and aggrivations onto me. She manipulated me, rarely compromised with me, acted completely selfish... generally being an overall asshole. She had a lot of rough shit going on in her life, so I tried to put up with as much as I could, hoping that she would start treating me better. She did for a short while, but ultimately she never changed. Our relationship ended when she left me for her ex with whom she was in a long distance relationship prior to us meeting... she claims she loved him more because he would just "accept" her. Meaning, he would put up with her being a selfish asshole to the ends of the Earth. He would be her doormat.

And sure enough, that's exactly how she treats him. As her doormat. She convinced him to move 1000 miles to be with her so that they could "realize their dreams and start a life together." He came down all this way, and how does she repay him? By fucking some other guy on the side. And he puts up with it.

Now I'm not perfect. But I damn sure don't use other people to take out my frustrations, or to be my fucking doormat. I deserve better than this girl, and just about everyone I've ever consulted for their advice has advised me--long before she finally left me--that she was no good and that I deserved better. I know that I'm much better off without her and her fucked up games. But despite that, my heart still hurts.

Try and be strong and realize that the person worth marrying is one that won't try to stop you from partying--she'll be the one who goes out and parties with you. There's nothing wrong with committing to a relationship at your age, but there's no reason to settle down at age 23. There's a lot more life to live.

Excellent advice.

Posted by adi26 on Nov-13-2006 05:54:

quote:
Originally posted by nrjizer

+1000

There is absolutely no need to change yourself.

In time you realise that what's happened now is a HUGE blessing in disguise. Te heart ache now will make you a lot more stronger - mentally and emotionally and you will have a much clearer idea of what you want in future relationships...

You will be happier....

So start going out and have fun

Posted by eXo on Nov-13-2006 06:40:

Posted by nrjizer on Nov-13-2006 07:18:

quote:
Originally posted by eXo
This is the post I have been waiting on all night, thank you so much.

No problem, just remember dude, you have to stay strong and keep your head clear. I know it's hard. I know it hurts like a mother******. I know becuase I've got plenty of hurt of my own right now.

Just remember that you deserve someone who treats you right. Someone who's mature enough and loves you enough not to treat you that way. As hard as it may be to accept, it's probably a damn good thing she showed her true colors before the two of you were married. As I learned with my ex, as soon as they get comfortable and secure, any bullshit hiding beneath the surface will come out in full force. And she and I were only together for 5-6 months before that happened... god knows what it would be like if we ever had married.

In the end, it's for the best....

Doesn't make it any less lonely though

Posted by Slylee on Nov-13-2006 16:03:

fuck the pain away

Posted by Rainborn on Nov-13-2006 16:13:

Love is sooooo nice. Love is so fragile.

Posted by Slylee on Nov-13-2006 17:53:

Oh and might I add that while I agree with a lot of what nrjizer said, at the same time, if someone is out partying and doing drugs a lot and still trying to live the single life while in a relationship, I can kind of understand the girl�s frustration. I mean, it�s not like she was telling you to quit listening to Edm�THAT would be asking you to change who you are as a person. But if she just wanted you to settle down a bit more and quit w/ the partying and stuff, then I don�t see that as her trying to control and manipulate you and change you as a person. She just wants you to act more like a couple.

And I�m not really talking about your situation exo, because I think I read that you weren�t partying that much (or so you say, there�s always two sides to the story;P) but I just mean in general.

I went through that with my ex (the one I did way too many drugs with all the time) and we started to have the same problem, but I mean, it was ridiculous. 8balls of coke every weekend, strip clubs, him going out and me wanting to stay in, so I�d be like, �fine go out, but please don�t get all crazy� and of course he�d lose his phone and get fucked up on pills and come strolling in the door at like 9 in the morning the next day. Meanwhile I hadn�t slept at all because I was really upset and worried. I told him it had to stop and he acted like I was this controlling, needy, psycho (ok so maybe I�m a little needy, but I�ve seen worse out there), but really, I don�t think I was asking much. I just wanted a little normalcy in our relationship and for him to quit doing things like drinking and driving and not coming home and to have a little more respect, and most importantly...to grow the fuck up (he�s 30).

Posted by nrjizer on Nov-13-2006 19:12:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
Oh and might I add that while I agree with a lot of what nrjizer said, at the same time, if someone is out partying and doing drugs a lot and still trying to live the single life while in a relationship, I can kind of understand the girl�s frustration. I mean, it�s not like she was telling you to quit listening to Edm�THAT would be asking you to change who you are as a person. But if she just wanted you to settle down a bit more and quit w/ the partying and stuff, then I don�t see that as her trying to control and manipulate you and change you as a person. She just wants you to act more like a couple.

And I�m not really talking about your situation exo, because I think I read that you weren�t partying that much (or so you say, there�s always two sides to the story;P) but I just mean in general.

I went through that with my ex (the one I did way too many drugs with all the time) and we started to have the same problem, but I mean, it was ridiculous. 8balls of coke every weekend, strip clubs, him going out and me wanting to stay in, so I�d be like, �fine go out, but please don�t get all crazy� and of course he�d lose his phone and get fucked up on pills and come strolling in the door at like 9 in the morning the next day. Meanwhile I hadn�t slept at all because I was really upset and worried. I told him it had to stop and he acted like I was this controlling, needy, psycho (ok so maybe I�m a little needy, but I�ve seen worse out there), but really, I don�t think I was asking much. I just wanted a little normalcy in our relationship and for him to quit doing things like drinking and driving and not coming home and to have a little more respect, and most importantly...to grow the fuck up (he�s 30).

True, but from how eXo has made it sound, he was only going out once a week or so anyways to begin with, and that his ex demanded that he go 100% sober and not go out at all. That's not a compromise--that's controlling.

Hell, I think that you've found someone really special when they'll want to come out and have fun with you on the weekends.

Posted by eXo on Nov-13-2006 19:59:

quote:
Originally posted by nrjizer
True, but from how eXo has made it sound, he was only going out once a week or so anyways to begin with, and that his ex demanded that he go 100% sober and not go out at all. That's not a compromise--that's controlling.

Hell, I think that you've found someone really special when they'll want to come out and have fun with you on the weekends.

Which is weird man, our first year together, she did go out with me, and would even drink, then she quit drinking herself, and told me I had to quit drinking.

I mean, I only drank one night a week, I wouldn't even drink during the week or anything.

Posted by Spike on Nov-13-2006 20:25:

quote:
Originally posted by eXo
Which is weird man, our first year together, she did go out with me, and would even drink, then she quit drinking herself, and told me I had to quit drinking.

I mean, I only drank one night a week, I wouldn't even drink during the week or anything.

thats pretty crazy...from ur posts you sound pretty reserved and conservative...i mean 1 night of drinking??? fuck thats nothing..and for her to tell you to stop?! couples need SOME time apart...being together all the time is just a little wierd....

Posted by Slylee on Nov-13-2006 20:48:

yea that's ridiculous exo. sorry you're hurting i've been going through the same thing, but i'm much better now. get out and date! have fun, stay busy, be safe...that's the only thing i can really say, other than time heals.

Posted by eXo on Nov-13-2006 20:50:

Thanks ya'll, I appreciate all the kind words...I'll get through it, just every once in awhile I dig myself a hole thinking about it too much.

Posted by mellow_head on Nov-13-2006 20:52:

quote:
Originally posted by eXo
Thanks ya'll, I appreciate all the kind words...I'll get through it, just every once in awhile I dig myself a hole thinking about it too much.

And what better way than relief all that crap in teh c0r

Posted by Turbonium on Nov-13-2006 20:53:

Life sucks, get used to it. This is just one aspect of it.

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