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-- Sense of humour
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Simply
Simple funny
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| Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN the guy driving his car in the mountains, when he comes across a child kneeling at the edge of a ravine. curious, the guy stops at the side of the road & gets out to see whats going on. he walks over to the child, and asks him what the problem is. through tears the kid sobs and points into the ravine. the man leans over and at the bottom of the ravine theres this charred wreckage of a car. "my daddy, is in the car!" wails the little boy. "oh my god son. are you ok? wheres your mother?" wailing louder, the kid says "she's in the car too! they're both dead and i have no one in the whole world to take care of or watch out for me!" "well son," said the man as he pulled his cock from his trousers "i guess it just aint your day." ------- a father and son were holidaying in the northern territory, and were sitting around the campfire late at night having dinner. sitting with them was a dingo busy licking its dick. the son looked at the dingo and said to his father "gee dad, i wish i could do that." "well, id pat him first son, he looks vicious." ------ a women is sitting in a bar sipping her drink when this homeless piece of shit strolls in and sits next to her. he stinks pretty bad, but she doesn't want to be rude so she tries to ignore him. after a while, the stench becomes overwhelming, and she is forced to say something. "excuse me sir, have you just shat your pants?" she asks. "matter of fact, yes i have young lady" the man replies. "well thats just revolting, why dont you go away and clean yourself up?" she said with disgust. "i haven't finished yet" he replied. |
One Pope, in the Dark Ages, decreed that all Jews had to leave Rome. The Jews did not want to leave, and so the Pope challenged them to a disputation to prove that they could remain. No one, however wanted the responsibility... until the synagogue janitor, Moishe, volunteered.
As there was nobody else who wanted to go, Moishe was given the task. But he wanted a twist: to make it a silent debate. The Pope agreed.
The day of the debate came, and they went to St. Peter's Square to sort out the decision. First the Pope waved his hand around his head. Moishe pointed firmly at the ground.
The Pope, in some surprise, held up three fingers. In response, Moishe gave him the middle finger.
The crowd started to complain, but the Pope thoughtfully waved them to be quiet. He took out a bottle of wine and a wafer, holding them up. Moishe took out an apple, and held it up.
The Pope, to the people�s surprise, said, "I concede. This man is too good. The Jews can stay."
Later, the Pope was asked what the debate had meant. He explained, "First, I showed him the Heavens, to show that God is everywhere. He pointed at the ground to signify that God is right here with us. I showed him three fingers, for the Trinity. He reminded me that there is One God common to both our religions. I showed him wine and a wafer, for God's forgiveness. With an apple, he showed me original sin. The man was a master of silent debate."
In the Jewish corner, Moishe had the same question put to him, and answered, "It was all nonsense, really. First, he told me that this whole town would be free of Jews. I told him, Go to Hell! We�re staying right here! Then, he told me we had three days to get out. I told him just what I thought of that proposal." An older woman asked, "But what about the part at the end?" "That?" said Moishe with a shrug, "Well, I saw him take out his lunch, so I took out mine."
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Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him $5,000.
Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away.
"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow?
The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
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Mine is everywhere.
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| Originally posted by Frenchie Mine is everywhere. |
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| Originally posted by Frenchie Mine is everywhere. |
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| Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit thats why they invented maxi pads |
what's a sense of humour ?
sarcastic, piss taking, sometimes sick.
Also I don't mind using German humour, it's fantastic to use at boring work parties or lunches especially when people are plastically laughing at every joke you tell.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
The Police there's been an accident your husbands in hospital.
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| Originally posted by Xenocreator_PG_ knock knock!! Who's there? Boo! Boo who?? Stop crying, I only did your sister in the arse, cum in her eye and then bleeched your mommas sphincter! |
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| Originally posted by Xenocreator_PG_ shit to be you!  |
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| Originally posted by Mr.Mystery Not really. At least I won't end up being like you. |
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| Originally posted by Tholius ZING! |
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| Originally posted by Mebot I don't know. I appreciated MERTON when no one else understood. If you can understand MERTON, you can get an idea for my sense of humor. Also i think America's funniest home videos is the best show on TV (Bob Saget has nothing on Tom Bergeron), and I read Zippy the Pinhead religiously everyday in the comics. |
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| Originally posted by stren what's a sense of humour ? |
I'm not funny.
see look at my sig im so funny lols...
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| Originally posted by Ygrene LOL BY ASKING THIS QUESTION WHICH WOULD IMPLY THAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND SENSE OF HUMOR YOU TRULY REVEAL YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR LOL |
I always try to make fun out of stupid things that happen during the day. If im driving down the road and see something funny, i'll probably make a joke about it and relate it to one of my friends. I always find it useful to spark some laughter by making fun of yourself first.
I always try to make jokes that are "comic-like" or that could fit in a funny cartoon such as "Family Guy" and what not.
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| Originally posted by stren so is my sense of humour, simply clever or devious ? |
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| Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On yeah that was pretty clever there... xeno was like "lollsoaos bcjhbx 23jn lkf" and mr. mystery is all "yeah, well, I am not like you" lolpksmcb |
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| Originally posted by Mr.Mystery Thanks for that, Captain Obvious. I don't think anyone else noticed that. |
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| Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit I would like to see you on shrooms nik |
I have Good Humor
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