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Re: Re: Re: Slylee's late night emo thread

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I like this monologue from The Beach: "When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn't need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it's just what you've been searching for all these years."

that quote and the robin williams quote have a lot of great thought in them, very very intriguing

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Originally posted by Lilith Aww come on, no one's been killed yet from what I've written in the last 6years. Reduced to swearing, incomprehensible screaming fits and cat pictures ocassionally but I dont think anyone's head's exploded.

listen baby, i like you, you get a free pass, now run along lil dun dun

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Originally posted by Lilith Not as a gross generalisation last I checked?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Paul_Sartre

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The basis of Sartre's existentialism is found in The Transcendence of the Ego. To begin with, the thing-in-itself is infinite and overflowing. Any direct consciousness of the thing-in-itself, Sartre refers to as a "pre-reflective consciousness". Any attempt to describe, understand, historicize etc. the thing-in-itself, Sartre calls "reflective consciousness". There is no way for the reflective consciousness to subsume the pre-reflective, and so reflection is fated to a form of anxiety, i.e. the human condition. The reflective consciousness in all its forms, (scientific, artistic or otherwise) can only limit the thing-in-itself by virtue of its attempt to understand or describe it. It follows therefore that any attempt at self-knowledge (self-consciousness) is a construct that fails no matter how often it is attempted. (self-consciousness is a reflective consciousness of an overflowing infinite) In Sartre's words (or more accurately an interpretation of Sartre's words), "Conciousness is consciousness of itself insofar as it is consciousness of a transcendent object". The same holds true about knowledge of the "Other". The "Other" (being) is a construct of reflective consciousness. One must be careful to understand this more as a form of warning than as an ontological statement. However, there is an implication of Solipsism here that Sartre considers fundamental to any coherent description of the human condition. [1] Sartre overcomes this Solipsism by a kind of ritual. Self consciousness needs "the Other" to prove (display) its own existence. It has a "masochistic desire" to be limited, i.e. limited by the reflective consciousness of another subject. This is expressed metaphorically in the famous line of dialogue from No Exit, "Hell is other people".

blablabla, yeah, I know it is really existential, but there is a certain why and a reason to why we fall in love at all. Is everyone even meant to fall in love? Wouldn't that denote some sort of predestination? Our expectations of love and friendship may be what causes us to be hurt in life at all - but still we pursue these things, knowing that, even at best, they cannot last forever. Or do they?

Re: Re: Re: Slylee's late night emo thread

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I like this monologue from The Beach: "When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn't need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it's just what you've been searching for all these years."

Heheh nice quote.

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Originally posted by nrjizer The only real downer is when your heart is hopelessly in love with someone who just doesn't appreciate you, doesn't understand and/or give a fuck about the concept of compromise, and is content with treating you like an expendable piece of shit. Sometimes the heart just doesn't know what's good for it.

Yeah being in love with a selfish bitch sucks balls... Almost as pathetic as being in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you.

Its certainly something to think about, but who knows the real answer. Usually, you cant say why you love someone...you just do.

Predestination, by definition last I checked I wasnt up there with god on making the big calls with any kind of infalliable accuracy. Hence, operate within realistic boundaries rather than be chasing something which probably doesnt exist.

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On Is everyone even meant to fall in love? Wouldn't that denote some sort of predestination?

Everyone has the capacity to love, but it doesn't mean we are all "meant to". Using that language assumes predestination, it's a loaded question.

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On It seems to me that you seek a very high degree of dependability in someone you love then? Doesn't sound like love. Sounds like companionship. Or just trying to establish a prudent relationship that would create the optimum environment for compatibility and reproduction. Sounds doomed.

Its really not dependability, if thats even a word. Im working on my PhD right now and have always ALWAYS set goals for myself so that I would never have to depend on anyone else, even when Im married. I think youre reading me wrong. I just want someone who is motivated and takes on some responsibility in life. Financially, emotionally, and eventually with children. Its not such an uncommon thing for women to want. Ive progressively wanted this characteristic more and more since college.

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But I'm a child of divorce, so my views are, as everyone's are in some way, quite biased and cynical.

Me too, its why I have ridiculously high standards. I know whats going to eventually piss me off, and I dont want to even start something with someone if they dont live up to a few bars I have set.

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Originally posted by Lilith Predestination, by definition last I checked I wasnt up there with god on making the big calls with any kind of infalliable accuracy. Hence, operate within realistic boundaries rather than be chasing something which probably doesnt exist.

Now I don't mean to sound like I "live life on the edge" or something ridiculous like that, but I think that taking risks against what is probably realistic is what life is all about. We don't really have a reason to be here - humans could spontaneously disappear tomorrow and I bet the only ones who would miss us would be our dogs and cats, saying "alright - where the fuck is my dinner??". Things are absurd and chaotic and they don't make sense at all sometimes, but that doesn't mean that's the end of it. I think, in many ways, the purpose of each human being (self-assigned or otherwise?) is to create his or her own reality in some sense, and that this aspect of our sentient existence is what causes all pleasure and pain between human beings. I don't think that assessing what others tell you or you think to be realistic is the way you will find the most out of your life - I think that people let their own realities suppress others sometimes, and that everyone wants you to conform to what they expect out of you because that's what corresponds best to their reality. In that sense, Hell is other people. But the good side about that might just be that Heaven is other people as well - and when you create that reality with somebody else, and you both respect one another, regardless of expectation, it can be a very beautiful thing. Love is just a word, after all - it's a very abused term, too - like 'art' and 'peace'.

I guess what I am trying to say is that "chasing something which probably doesnt exist" is just as foolish as chasing something that does. Seeing the goodness and the wholeness in another person (even if you must chase them) is something that you must create, not look for.

/ambling, out of control emo nonsense

Re: Re: Re: Re: Slylee's late night emo thread

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Yeah being in love with a selfish bitch sucks balls... Almost as pathetic as being in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you.

Heh true. People tend to hide their true colors in the beginning of the relationship. Once you start caring for them and they feel secure, then here comes the shit train. By that point, you already have strong feelings and it's harder to tell them to fuck off.

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Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie Its really not dependability, if thats even a word. Im working on my PhD right now and have always ALWAYS set goals for myself so that I would never have to depend on anyone else, even when Im married. I think youre reading me wrong. I just want someone who is motivated and takes on some responsibility in life. Financially, emotionally, and eventually with children. Its not such an uncommon thing for women to want.

Indeed, but problems occur when one side of the relationship expects that out of the other, but doesn't uphold themselves to the same standards. I.e. the gold digger who wants a man to take care of her. Obviously you don't subscribe to this particular mindset, but it should be noted that this happens all too often.

this isn't a true emo thread
no one's complained about their s/o and asked for advice yet iirc

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Originally posted by mezzir this isn't a true emo thread no one's complained about their s/o and asked for advice yet iirc

Quick, everyone think about slitting their wrists.

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I guess what I am trying to say is that "chasing something which probably doesnt exist" is just as foolish as chasing something that does. Seeing the goodness and the wholeness in another person (even if you must chase them) is something that you must create, not look for. /ambling, out of control emo nonsense

Yes, but if youre not willing to comprimise something for a time then you'll just end up disappointed with what you have if it decides to change over time and people do tend to do that. You always need some degree of flexibility in dealing with other people, aside from the "Me Me Me!" aspect which gets wearisome.
You only get 50% "Me Me Me!" in any relationship, soon as it skew to a higher or lower percentage then the trouble begins and it's usually over someone elses own sense of superiority or unwillingness to reason with the other.
It's probably also why the divorce rate is so high.
No one's willing to put up with anything less than absolute best all the time and demanding more than their share and theyre always twisting the other to their own ideals rather than who's staring back at them.

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Originally posted by mezzir this isn't a true emo thread no one's complained about their s/o and asked for advice yet iirc

Or posted arm's length pictures of themselves looking away from the camera with the contrast tweaked way too fucking high

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Originally posted by nrjizer Or posted arm's length pictures of themselves looking away from the camera with the contrast tweaked way too fucking high

or b/w and not enough contrast, those work too

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Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie Its really not dependability, if thats even a word. Im working on my PhD right now and have always ALWAYS set goals for myself so that I would never have to depend on anyone else, even when Im married. I think youre reading me wrong. I just want someone who is motivated and takes on some responsibility in life. Financially, emotionally, and eventually with children. Its not such an uncommon thing for women to want. Ive progressively wanted this characteristic more and more since college.

Sounds reasonable enough. In my opinion though, truly loving somebody is not depending on them or depending on you, but trusting more in your togetherness than anyone - maybe I am just too much of an idealist though. I think that people's expectations eventually become their downfall, but I'm not really one to say whether or not you find who you are looking for.

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Me too, its why I have ridiculously high standards. I know whats going to eventually piss me off, and I dont want to even start something with someone if they dont live up to a few bars I have set.

Fair enough, but before you made it sound as though you demanded a very inhuman-like degree of responsibility out of someone else haha

Nobody really wants to be with somebody who is irresponsible (though it sure seems like they do sometimes, huh? ), but demanding that they are completely self-sufficient in every sense of the word just seems like an odd thing to look for within another - it would almost seem as though you don't trust them, but like you said, I am likely reading you wrong.

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Originally posted by Lilith Yes, but if youre not willing to comprimise something for a time then you'll just end up disappointed with what you have if it decides to change over time and people do tend to do that. You always need some degree of flexibility in dealing with other people, aside from the "Me Me Me!" aspect which gets wearisome. You only get 50% "Me Me Me!" in any relationship, soon as it skew to a higher or lower percentage then the trouble begins and it's usually over someone elses own sense of superiority or unwillingness to reason with the other. It's probably also why the divorce rate is so high. No one's willing to put up with anything less than absolute best all the time and demanding more than their share and theyre always twisting the other to their own ideals rather than who's staring back at them.

I definitely agree. People allow their expectations of others to blind them all too often. They fall in love with an idea - not the other person.

In the past I've tried to analyze "love" in general and I've realized that it's quite futile.

Different people describe so many different particular states of emotion as "love" that any generalization you try to make about it as if it were a singular phenomenon that could be evaluated in a vacuum is doomed to only pertain to some subset of those situations described with the term.

For a concept that is as important to most people as "love," the language to describe those feelings in specific terms is quite lacking.

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Originally posted by Arbiter In the past I've tried to analyze "love" in general and I've realized that it's quite futile. Different people describe so many different particular states of emotion as "love" that any generalization you try to make about it as if it were a singular phenomenon that could be evaluated in a vacuum is doomed to only pertain to some subset of those situations described with the term. For a concept that is as important to most people as "love," the language to describe those feelings in specific terms is quite lacking.

You are so sterile sometimes.

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I definitely agree. People allow their expectations of others to blind them all too often. They fall in love with an idea - not the other person.

Well go for the double whammy in the 1+1 equation and with enough digging around you'll find most people arent happy with themselves or at ease with their own company to ever be easy to get along with. It's why young women starve themselves into trying to look like something they arent or young men doing foolish activities to prove their manhood.

Thats enough dear Abi for me tonight, rest of em can work it out themselves or die trying I suppose

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Originally posted by Allied Nations You are so sterile sometimes.

If you want accurate results, you have to make such observations with an appropriate degree of sterility. Otherwise, you'll contaminate the sample.

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Originally posted by Allied Nations You are so sterile sometimes.

yeah, but he's right

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Originally posted by Arbiter In the past I've tried to analyze "love" in general and I've realized that it's quite futile. Different people describe so many different particular states of emotion as "love" that any generalization you try to make about it as if it were a singular phenomenon that could be evaluated in a vacuum is doomed to only pertain to some subset of those situations described with the term. For a concept that is as important to most people as "love," the language to describe those feelings in specific terms is quite lacking.

Haha at the risk of sounding gay I think that's actually quite romantic.

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Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN yeah, but he's right

Oh, I usually never doubt that.

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