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Posted by Ian on Mar-24-2007 17:54:

quote:
Originally posted by DarkAngel
Help. Don't get it.

That was so wrong, but a good one.

seal clubbing is a common practice, or so we're led to believe, I put it ot my canadian sis-in-law to be that it's just slang for masturbation "im going to club the seal darling" 'oh ok, see you later, bring dinner'

Posted by dark_Omens on Mar-24-2007 20:25:

A neutron walks into the bar. Immediately the bartender gets him the most expensive drink. The neutron asks how much it costs, and the bartender says, "For you, no charge."

Posted by bogartgreens on Mar-24-2007 20:33:

what do u tell a woman with two black eyes?

nothing. you already told her twice.

Posted by bananas on Mar-24-2007 20:35:

Three spermatozoids talking:
First one says: Imma be a girl!
Second: Imma be a boy!
Third one: Sorry guys, nothing doing, we're in mouth.

Posted by bananas on Mar-24-2007 21:32:

Posted by shaw on Mar-24-2007 21:34:

Posted by stren on Apr-02-2007 13:55:

2 guys riding a tandem bicycle, one of them has a banana up his ear

- dude, you've got a banana up your ear !

- I can't hear you, cause I've got a banana up my ear !

Posted by GoSpeedGo! on Apr-02-2007 14:20:

Ok, this one is extremely lame.

Two tomatoes are crossing the street.

Tomato A: *gets squelched by a car*

Tomato B: 'Come on, ketchup, let's get going!'

Posted by Zenchowdah on Apr-02-2007 23:12:

why couldnt helen keller drive?

because she was a woman

Posted by Absolut_Vodka on Apr-02-2007 23:20:

What's worse then 10 dead babies in a garbage can?

1 dead baby in ten garbage cans..

Posted by Lebezniatnikov on Apr-03-2007 02:29:

quote:
Originally posted by Zenchowdah
why couldnt helen keller drive?

because she was a woman

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was "ogahadoghadpgaosdg"

Posted by mezzir on Apr-03-2007 06:15:

oh man
threadjack...BASH QUOTE TIME!!!!!!!

snow is like black people.. as long as it stays off my driveway and away from my car, it's cool.

Posted by Marc Summers on Apr-03-2007 06:19:

quote:
Originally posted by dark_Omens
A neutron walks into the bar. Immediately the bartender gets him the most expensive drink. The neutron asks how much it costs, and the bartender says, "For you, no charge."

oh ... my .... god...

Posted by mezzir on Apr-03-2007 06:28:

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fucked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in shit. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

LOLOLOLOL

Posted by shaw on Apr-03-2007 06:42:

Posted by Jansa on Apr-03-2007 11:43:

A bear and a rabbit go fishing and catch a goldfish.

Goldfish: Please let me go, I'll grant you both 3 wishes.
Bear: Ok, cool. I want all the other bears in this forest to be female.
Rabbit: I want a red helmet.
Bear: Pfft, what a dumbass. Actually, I want all the other bears in the country to be female.
Rabbit: I want a motorcycle.
Bear: Oh what the hell, I want all the other bears in the whole WORLD to be female.
Rabbit: I want the bear to be a fag.

*WROOOOM*

Posted by eRRaTiK on Apr-03-2007 11:46:

quote:
Originally posted by infinity HiGH
2 muffins in an oven. 1 says to the other

"holy shit it's hot in here"

the other goes

"holy shit a talking muffin!"

I fkn LOL'd at this.

EDIT: LOL @ neutron joke too!

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