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-- emo question
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also do a lot of introspection. what are the things that have made you the way you are. this helps me a lot but isnt for everyone. figure out what really gets you going. then evaluate if its something that you yourself can change or if its something that is more out of your hands than anything. if it is out of your hands then learn to let it go.

worrying too much sucks. i find myself overthinking stuff sometimes but i've pretty much trained myself to brush things off and say "it is what it is". i think you have to learn to be more accepting of things out of our control in order to overcome that.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee worrying too much sucks. i find myself overthinking stuff sometimes but i've pretty much trained myself to brush things off and say "it is what it is". i think you have to learn to be more accepting of things out of our control in order to overcome that.

Thats exactly what i need....i just need a technique on how to do it.

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Originally posted by Jackson Thats exactly what i need....i just need a technique on how to do it.

It's called behavioral-cognitive restructuring. If it's really something you need serious help with, go see a therapist.

i don't really know what to tell you other than this is something you can control in your own mind. all i can say is "you just do it". lol

i guess just taking deep breaths when you're stressed and focusing your attention on something else helps, but i mean what exactly do you worry about a lot?

Around 4-5 years ago I used to worry and stress out a lot over the smallest of things. Over time, I'd developed a number of different ways of letting go.

One that i found extremely helpful was to try and separate things that truly matter and things that don't on a day-to-day basis. As soon as you attach importance to something, you become emotionally involved with it and it therefore means more to you when something goes wrong with said thing.

By learning to detach yourself from the emotional aspect, you allow it to fly over your head and get on with the next thing in your day, removing the stress-factor.

The key is to not attach so much importance to everything you do.

Another one is to find a number of different hobbies/activities/interests. If something caused you to stress, then you can seek comfort in the many activities you've taken up, which will allow you to chill.

Try and stay calm at all times, which is easier said than done, but this can be done through breathing exercises and not attaching that 'importance'.

Of course you have to find a healthy balance. If you detach yourself from everything, then it can result in anti-social behaviour which can have other consequences.

Good Luck.

quote:

Originally posted by DJ_Eternal Around 4-5 years ago I used to worry and stress out a lot over the smallest of things. Over time, I'd developed a number of different ways of letting go. One that i found extremely helpful was to try and separate things that truly matter and things that don't on a day-to-day basis. As soon as you attach importance to something, you become emotionally involved with it and it therefore means more to you when something goes wrong with said thing. By learning to detach yourself from the emotional aspect, you allow it to fly over your head and get on with the next thing in your day, removing the stress-factor. The key is to not attach so much importance to everything you do. Another one is to find a number of different hobbies/activities/interests. If something caused you to stress, then you can seek comfort in the many activities you've taken up, which will allow you to chill. Try and stay calm at all times, which is easier said than done, but this can be done through breathing exercises and not attaching that 'importance'. Of course you have to find a healthy balance. If you detach yourself from everything, then it can result in anti-social behaviour which can have other consequences. Good Luck.

with this post you sound like a behavioural psychologist or something similar.

quote:

Originally posted by gehzumteufel with this post you sound like a behavioural psychologist or something similar.

Not at all, but I have dated a few that were.

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Originally posted by Sunsnail office space

quote:

Originally posted by DJ_Eternal Not at all, but I have dated a few that were.

ahh well that explains it.

Re: emo question

quote:

Originally posted by enferno are you happy with your life currently? in terms of where you're at, are you enjoying life? what makes you feel alive?

That's a pretty tough question for me. I've got a good stable job doing something I like to do, I've got a wonderful girlfriend, good health, I don't have money problems or that sort of thing, I should be fairly happy.

But, I can say right now I'm not enjoying life at all. The main problem is that my girlfriend has been living on the other side of the earth than me for the past 11 months. I've only seen her for 10 days during that time, when I could visit her. And, chances are I won't see her again for another 6 months or so.

Basically I can't find happiness in anything without her. I just go through every day wishing time would speed up or that I'd just wake up one morning and it'd be the point in our lives when we're together again.

We still talk to eachother every day and such, but it's completely not the same as being together. Before this I never knew that missing someone could actually cause physical pain.

So.. Yah, I can't stand this point in my life. Sometimes I feel pretty much depressed and like I'm going crazy and just can't take it anymore. The only way to get past those points is to just look forward to when things will be better, and wait for the feelings to pass.

I try to keep myself busy with work and other stuff. Just weekends are the worst when I'm home with nothing to do

Nothing makes me feel alive anymore. The last time I felt alive was 4 months ago in Tokyo.

ok but were u guys together phsycially for a while and then she moved away? or has this been a long distance relationship from the start?

We were together physically for over a year, and for about 8 months of that time we lived like 5 minutes away from eachother, so we were pretty much together all the time outside of work. She had to move cause her visa expired, and can't get a new one til next year.

so just marry her and she'll become a citizen

Ahah.. yeah, I wish it was that simple.

We are planning to get married, but, I still havn't proposed to her yet. I wasn't ready to last time we were together cause I wasn't in a position that I could support her financially yet, and, well.. I should have done it anyways, but I missed the opportunity

She's trying to get time off work to come visit canada later this year, but it's not guaranteed. If she does come though, I'm going to propose for sure

But anyways, waiting still is really difficult. Days just drag on and on.

At least there's something to look forward to.


The whole immigration process is another story though. Could take up to 10 months or so to get approved, and that's after we're married. At least I don't live in the US.. that's even more of a hassel I hear.

well best of luck. i bet once you're together you'll cherish every moment

don't worry too much about supporting her...u guys are a team u can make it work together.

Thanks Slylee

And you're right. When you can't be with someone for a long time, you really begin to realize what they mean to you and what kind of an impact they had on your life.. so in a way I think it strengthens the relationship.

all these TAs getting married...

I'm doing pretty well

Found the girl of my dreams
2nd year in university
Lots of friends
Lots of fun


So i'm pretty happy about i what i do and what i'm able to do in life

This thread is wayyyyyy too positive.

Happy people are happy because they choose to be so. The same is basically true for those feeling down. True, there are many things that occur to us and those around us that seem completely out of control, but your mindset and temperament are merely projections of your threshold of ignorance. How much you wish to ignore now and put off until later or how much you want to deal with at the present time. Find solace in the fact that nothing really matters and you will be forgotten as an individual shortly after your death (or even long before, in many cases). The sooner you accept your inevitable demise, the sooner you can grow up and be just like everyone else. It's called maturity. Don't give me any crap about responsibility, that's just one of the rules that comes with accepting your fate - responsibility is just a reaction to your own threshold of ignorance, not a determinant.

After all, isn't youth all about operating under the pretense that you *might* just live forever? I mean, if they can make ipods that hold 5,000 songs in 'em, it's only a short matter of time before we discover the secrets to immortality, right?!

quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On This thread is wayyyyyy too positive.

Here we go

quote:

Happy people are happy because they choose to be so. The same is basically true for those feeling down.

I disagree, and not only for the fact that you used the phrase 'basically true.'

quote:

True, there are many things that occur to us and those around us that seem completely out of control

Quite a lot of situations and events are completely out of our control, but that doesn't change the fact that these 'out of control' things are able to significantly effect us in a number of ways, the most prominent (imo) being 'emotional' ways.

quote:

But your mindset and temperament are merely projections of your threshold of ignorance.

Ignorance of emotion? I'm unsure of how that would work. Does the understanding of a particular emotion somehow negate it's effects? Certainly, in some specific circumstances, it could help work through some issues, for example 'understanding depression' or 'understanding rage.' But what about 'understanding happiness' or 'understanding friendship?'

quote:

Find solace in the fact that nothing really matters and you will be forgotten as an individual shortly after your death (or even long before, in many cases).

I don't kid myself into thinking that there is life after death, but for you to tell me, or even hint, that nothing really matters? Who are you to tell that to me? Maybe your life doesn't mean so much to you, but my life matters quite a bit to me actually. I try to enjoy every single day. Sure, I get down about things here and there, but but I feel I'm intelligent enough to sort it out.

quote:

The sooner you accept your inevitable demise, the sooner you can grow up and be just like everyone else. It's called maturity.

Lol. So 'maturity' is growing up to become like everyone else? I think I may need some convincing on that one.

quote:

Don't give me any crap about responsibility, that's just one of the rules that comes with accepting your fate - responsibility is just a reaction to your own threshold of ignorance, not a determinant.

I think you have distilled 'responsibility' down too far. Responsibility, in life, is a choice you make. It doesn't have a thing to do with a person's acceptance of their fate. How you act, either with responsibility or without, CAN in a sense determine your fate (though I hate to use the word 'fate' as it implies a lack of control over one's life, with I simply don't believe is 100% possible).

quote:

After all, isn't youth all about operating under the pretense that you *might* just live forever?

I would argue that it's about the discovery that you won't actually live forever.

quote:

I mean, if they can make ipods that hold 5,000 songs in 'em, it's only a short matter of time before we discover the secrets to immortality, right?!

Lol, I guess

Re: Re: emo question

quote:

Originally posted by DJ Chrono That's a pretty tough question for me. I've got a good stable job doing something I like to do, I've got a wonderful girlfriend, good health, I don't have money problems or that sort of thing, I should be fairly happy. But, I can say right now I'm not enjoying life at all. The main problem is that my girlfriend has been living on the other side of the earth than me for the past 11 months. I've only seen her for 10 days during that time, when I could visit her. And, chances are I won't see her again for another 6 months or so. Basically I can't find happiness in anything without her. I just go through every day wishing time would speed up or that I'd just wake up one morning and it'd be the point in our lives when we're together

What if shes cheating on you. Think about that.

lolllll

I was thinking that as well. She's probably got a cock up her arse as we speak from a guy called Winston.

she knocked the picture of him off the desk side as her lover rocked her world

Winstons always get the chicks !!!

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