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Anybody been in a relationship where your gf / bf has been uninterested in sex for a long time (2+ months)? I'm not talking about things that might physically prevent them from having sex like pregnancy or illness or infection, but just lack of interest for no obvious reason.

What did / would you do?

And if the person basically refused to talk with you about why they were uninterested and how that might be changed, what would you do then?

That sounds like a bad case of infidelity. Not to scare you, but if she doesn't want to talk about it, something is definitely not right.

I'm not too sure I could continue to be in a relationship where such a critical part of a relationship is missing. I mean, fair enough if something is going on and there's a good reason for it, I'm an understanding person but if she refuses to talk about it with her partner for a few months? Yea....not too good.

quote:

Originally posted by Fledz That sounds like a bad case of infidelity.

I've considered it.

Last night she went out for two hours at a pub with a guy she used to date.

I was going to complain about it, but I didn't want to deal with the shitstorm about "lack of trust" that would probably follow, and likely further decrease my chances of having sex anytime soon...

Ugh.

if i wake up in the middle of the night and realize Sasha (my kitty) is not snuggled up next to me, i get really uneasy and find it hard to fall back asleep. sometimes i'll even get out of bed and go find him and bring him back with me. he's been a snuggler ever since he was a kitten, and almost every night i'll wake up to him burrowing his little nose under the covers so he can curl up in my arms. it's ridiculous the way he cuddles sometimes... like he actually forces me to spoon him and throws himself onto my face/neck/shoulder/chest area to be close to my heartbeat.

i love it.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Anybody been in a relationship where your gf / bf has been uninterested in sex for a long time (2+ months)? I'm not talking about things that might physically prevent them from having sex like pregnancy or illness or infection, but just lack of interest for no obvious reason. What did / would you do? And if the person basically refused to talk with you about why they were uninterested and how that might be changed, what would you do then?

That happened to my best friend. The cause was really awkward: her girlfriend went on a diet, her hormones went crazy and she just didn't want to have sex any more. They talked about it, and she said that she loved him but for some reason she just couldn't get in the mood. She also started having all sorts of mood swings and whatnot, and she then mentioned this to her nutritionist.

Once she went back to her old diet, they mated like rabbits

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Yeah I used to be quite put off by hugging people...I mean, physical contact doesn't bother me, but I'm pretty reserved when it comes to intimacy with people outside of my personal zone.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I am.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles I've considered it. Last night she went out for two hours at a pub with a guy she used to date. I was going to complain about it, but I didn't want to deal with the shitstorm about "lack of trust" that would probably follow, and likely further decrease my chances of having sex anytime soon... Ugh.

Maybe it's that lack of drive, assertiveness and aggressiveness from you that made her lose her attraction?

Once again, I have no details and in no way know your story, but that's the general thing that pops into my head.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Anybody been in a relationship where your gf / bf has been uninterested in sex for a long time (2+ months)? I'm not talking about things that might physically prevent them from having sex like pregnancy or illness or infection, but just lack of interest for no obvious reason. What did / would you do? And if the person basically refused to talk with you about why they were uninterested and how that might be changed, what would you do then?

my sister went through a phase like this when she switched birth control pills

does your lady take any kind of horomone supplements or anything?

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Anybody been in a relationship where your gf / bf has been uninterested in sex for a long time (2+ months)? I'm not talking about things that might physically prevent them from having sex like pregnancy or illness or infection, but just lack of interest for no obvious reason. What did / would you do? And if the person basically refused to talk with you about why they were uninterested and how that might be changed, what would you do then?

This definitely sounds like she may be losing interest. Once it falls under the point of no return, it won't take long and she will probably break up with you, so you should act quickly and try to save as much as you can.

Less talking, more action. If there are any things you know she dislikes about you, don't do them. Try to be (or at least appear) busy all the time, try to work more on your inaccessibility. If you're that 'nice guy', who always asks her for permission, stop that. Be confident in your decisions. Try not to care about her as much as you're used to.

Believe me, the more she knows, you're the one who will always be waiting for her, the less attractive you are.

quote:

Originally posted by Ania_xox my sister went through a phase like this when she switched birth control pills does your lady take any kind of horomone supplements or anything?

Nope.

quote:

Originally posted by l�cid if i wake up in the middle of the night and realize Sasha (my kitty) is not snuggled up next to me, i get really uneasy and find it hard to fall back asleep. sometimes i'll even get out of bed and go find him and bring him back with me. he's been a snuggler ever since he was a kitten, and almost every night i'll wake up to him burrowing his little nose under the covers so he can curl up in my arms. it's ridiculous the way he cuddles sometimes... like he actually forces me to spoon him and throws himself onto my face/neck/shoulder/chest area to be close to my heartbeat. i love it.

quote:

Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie It depends. I find that I hate physical contact more than I like it. I mean, with the right person it's nice but seriously... what is up with guys hugging me. NEWSFLASH: Not all women think that hugging is the only appropriate way to say "hello."

I've wondered about that as well. It used to make me want to punch this one horndog in highschool because he did it to EVERY FREAKING GIRL.











I definitely enjoy physical contact, but for the most part keep it light. So many people are quick to have sex, and go all the way so early. I like to keep things constantly building so contact doesn't peak too fast. I didn't kiss my last girlfriend in 2+ months, but we did other stuff that felt just as great. I've always been confused society's requisite of contact.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Nope.

Do this:



And then ravish her!

quote:

Originally posted by iammesol I didn't kiss my last girlfriend in 2+ months, but we did other stuff that felt just as great.

Wait, were you guys already "a couple" before your first kiss?

I always thought of the first kiss as the thing that sealed the beginning of a relationship.

quote:

Originally posted by Lira Wait, were you guys already "a couple" before your first kiss? I always thought of the first kiss as the thing that sealed the beginning of a relationship.

Same here, otherwise I've pretty much been dating the girl I'm after for like 3 months now. If there's no beginning to intimate contact, then I don't consider it a relationship yet.

Definitely not with me.

I'm that cautious

quote:

Originally posted by iammesol Definitely not with me. I'm that cautious

But then how do you know? Serious question

You just make it official. words

I wish it was that easy in my case. Lucky bastard

I have read the last 6 posts over like 3 times and I have NO idea what you guys are talking about

lol

quote:

Originally posted by Ania_xox I have read the last 6 posts over like 3 times and I have NO idea what you guys are talking about

Here, I'll summarise the whole thing:

iammesol finds a girl and says "Yo, wanna be my girl?"
She says "Yeah, sure. So, what do we do?"
iammesol - "You know, we hang".
Her - "Oh, cool"
iammesol - "Yeah"
Her - "Yup"

2 months later

iammesol - "Wanna kiss?"
Her - "Oh, cool"
iammesol - "Yeah"
Both - *slurp*

lol it's not that hard to follow

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles I've considered it. Last night she went out for two hours at a pub with a guy she used to date. I was going to complain about it, but I didn't want to deal with the shitstorm about "lack of trust" that would probably follow, and likely further decrease my chances of having sex anytime soon... Ugh.

Uhh, you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship. Not just speaking from the "Been there, done that" perspective, but the fact that she's refusing physical closure, keeps you in fear about talking about the issues (i.e. runs away from conflict), forces you into guilt ("You don't trust me!!")


You might want to take a few steps back and take an emotionally-removed look at the bigger picture - what's been going on, etc.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Anybody been in a relationship where your gf / bf has been uninterested in sex for a long time (2+ months)? I'm not talking about things that might physically prevent them from having sex like pregnancy or illness or infection, but just lack of interest for no obvious reason. What did / would you do? And if the person basically refused to talk with you about why they were uninterested and how that might be changed, what would you do then?

She is fucking someone else, time for you to go fuck one of her friends

quote:

Originally posted by XaNaX She is fucking someone else, time for you to go fuck one of her friends

Or her mom

i lovecuddling, hugging, holding hands and all that gay shit.. only with girls tho..

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