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My attitude is that if I'm unhappy enough in a relationship to cheat, there's no real point in being in that relationship.

I'm also the kinda guy who hates messy breakups (and I seem to always end up with the crazy chicks, so they're always messy), so I figure if I force myself to break up with a GF before I sleep with anyone else, it'll motivate me to just get it over and done with faster.

i feel like cheating is a healthy way to get with other women u wanna bone without letting ur girl feel bad, sometimes u just need a taste and then u go back to ur main course no what i mean

vivid, u forgot to sign out ur gay lover.

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Originally posted by idoru

+1 pretty much.

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Originally posted by Frenchie Cheating. What a cunting crock of crap.

Fixed.

More C's for more effect

The once a cheater thing is slightly dependant on how you perceive the phrase though, I've always seen it in the way Jamie originally did, about someone who has cheated being likely to cheat in the future.

I know plenty of people who cheated in their teens/early twenties who would never dream of it now. Humans are stupid at the best of times, let alone when we are young adults.

I also don't think that cheating is exclusive to love, you can be in an exclusive relationship with someone, not yet in love with them, and still cheat.

Cheating is essentially the breaking of the exclusivity/commitment 'contract' you agree to with your partner.

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Originally posted by Slylee i knew this would be pointless and everyone would just focus on the cheating factor rather than the actual point of the thread which is to question whether or not you think someone who once cheated would be faithful if, say... they grew into a more mature person and met the right person at a better time in their life sort of thing. i wasn't really trying to make this thread entirely about me and my incidents, i was trying to just be the first one to start off and admit that i've done some stupid shit, that way anyone who has done something similar wouldn't be scared to say "yea i did too". cuz i aint scurred like that and don't really fear judgment from you guys. i mean i don't lose sleep over it. anyway goin to bed

I said I agreed with you. Shit, bitch.

No circumstance justifies cheating. I utterly loathe even the thought of doing something so low.
If it's a shitty relationship, don't cheat, have some dignity and fucking break up.
People who cheat have no character and don't deserve ever being looked at again.

yea i definitely didn't love the ones i cheated on...or respect them. one of them barely respected himself and i can't stand that. i just wasn't happy and probably wasn't ready to end it just yet (selfish and immature).

the long distance one was a whole diff story and a very long time ago. i was like 20 years old. probably loved him the most. i was going to move to where he was and inside i was scared shitless to make that move so i sabotaged the relationship. it's complicated but i really did love him and i probably hurt myself just as much as i hurt him.

and i'm the type of person who makes it pretty clear if i like you or not. i mean there are definitely some people out there would say, "jamie is a selfish little bitch i can't stand her" and then there's people who would tell you i'm the biggest sweetheart they've ever met who would give u the shirt off my back. i guess if i like you, i like you. and if i don't, i don't...and you'll know which category you fall under.


gauss...it's possible that someone having no character and being truly fucked up at 19-20 years old could do some growing up and be of sound character by the time they are in their late 20s. if anything, i think whatever they did and lived through would give them MORE character having risen above that mentality.

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Originally posted by jennypie I said I agreed with you. Shit, bitch.

i know i wasn't talking about u love muffin

I wouldn't go that far. Yes, it shows weak character...but NO character?? Come on.

I'd like to meet the person who has an absolutely clean record of integrity. Hypocrisy and contradiction are just side effects of being human. Hence why we learn to forgive, and not being able to do so shows even weaker character, imo.

people who say things like that have no tolerance for anyone who isn't like themself. which to me, is egotistical and narrow minded.

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Originally posted by Slylee i like the term 110% !

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Originally posted by Slylee if anything, i think whatever they did and lived through would give them MORE character having risen above that mentality.

I tend to agree with this. I mean, I dunno about everyone else...but for myself, I know that making mistakes and doing shit that is out of my character is exactly what helps me to see and question who I am, and thus learn and grow as a person.

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Originally posted by Slylee yea i definitely didn't love the ones i cheated on...or respect them. one of them barely respected himself and i can't stand that. i just wasn't happy and probably wasn't ready to end it just yet (selfish and immature).

sometimes when you are in an unhealthy relationship you can't make yourself end it and move on for a variety of reasons. Cheating in a relationship like this isn't the same as cheating on someone who you love and with whom you are in a good relationship. Sometimes cheating is just the thing you need in order to end a bad relationship that needed to be ended a long time ago

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Originally posted by Slylee gauss...it's possible that someone having no character and being truly fucked up at 19-20 years old could do some growing up and be of sound character by the time they are in their late 20s. if anything, i think whatever they did and lived through would give them MORE character having risen above that mentality.

agreed, people can grow and change, both for the better and for the worse. I've seen it first hand in people I know. judging someone totally based on past actions and ignoring any changes they made in their life is ignorant. I have an uncle who cheated on my aunt many times when he was younger, he was a piece of shit bastard then. But one day he had one of those life changing moments and decided to give up alcohol and women and has been faithful and a good husband for the last 20 years. Should I still view him as a piece of shit cheater or should I give him credit for the changes he made in his life? How would you like it gauss if people held every mistake you ever made against you regardless of your attempts to change?

Let's all throw rocks at Gauss! I'm sure he sinned at least once in his life! FUCKING SINNING ASSHOLE.

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Originally posted by Slylee and i'm the type of person who makes it pretty clear if i like you or not. i mean there are definitely some people out there would say, "jamie is a selfish little bitch i can't stand her" and then there's people who would tell you i'm the biggest sweetheart they've ever met who would give u the shirt off my back. i guess if i like you, i like you. and if i don't, i don't...and you'll know which category you fall under.

Funnily enough, I know a couple of people like this, and they are always female.

I've never met a guy with that sort of quality.

That's because females are more dynamic than males.

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Originally posted by jennypie Let's all throw rocks at Gauss! I'm sure he sinned at least once in his life! FUCKING SINNING ASSHOLE.

Nah, I've been cheated on once and I don't even look at her when I see her in town, let alone say hi.

I think anyone here saying that if one cheats they cannot possibly love the one they cheat on is way off base. In my experience cheating has little or nothing to do with the one being cheated on and everything to do with the one who is cheating. Cheating is normally born of the shortcomings the cheater feels in themselves rather than with the their partner.

Shut the fuck up, Craig. Everyone knows how you get down:

i cheated when miserable and in some sort of attempt to end things. not the most noble way of doing things, but whatever i was immature. i would never cheat on anyone at this point in my life. and i dont look down on someone who has cheated either. if a friend of mine came to me and told me they cheated on their S.O., the first thing i'd want to know is why and what the circumstances were.

and kr00t there are more people who think i'm nice than people who hate me. i'm pretty sure of that. i've hurt and disrespected only a handful of people for whatever reasons, but i'm overall a very generous and tolerant person in relationships.

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Originally posted by Moral Hazard Cheating is normally born of the shortcomings the cheater feels in themselves rather than with the their partner.

exactly

oh yea and i've also read and heard a lot (like on T.V. or mag articles) that usually if men cheat, it's pretty simple why....they aren't getting any. lol but when women cheat, it's more complicated and usually due to them not feeling loved or wanted and being miserable and confused.

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Originally posted by Slylee and kr00t there are more people who think i'm nice than people who hate me. i'm pretty sure of that. i've hurt and disrespected only a handful of people for whatever reasons, but i'm overall a very generous and tolerant person in relationships.

Oh I don't think it's a bad thing, in fact it's a quality my 3 closest females friends all share, lol.

I just tend to be more subtle if I don't like someone, just avoid conversations with them, keep chats very superficial and boring so they move on, more passive-aggressive stuff rather than giving off 'fuck you' vibes, hehe.

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Originally posted by Slylee exactly oh yea and i've also read and heard a lot (like on T.V. or mag articles) that usually if men cheat, it's pretty simple why....they aren't getting any. lol but when women cheat, it's more complicated and usually due to them not feeling loved or wanted and being miserable and confused.

Yeah...because on a subconscious level, men equate sex with love. So actually, in the end, it's for the same reasons.

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Originally posted by kr00t0n Oh I don't think it's a bad thing, in fact it's a quality my 3 closest females friends all share, lol. I just tend to be more subtle if I don't like someone, just avoid conversations with them, keep chats very superficial and boring so they move on, more passive-aggressive stuff rather than giving off 'fuck you' vibes, hehe.

i was going to elaborate on that character trait i have because i knew you'd see it that way. but that's not really what i meant.

if i don't like someone, i'm definitely not the type to be like, "oh hey fuck face" or be really obnoxious and obvious. i was mainly talking about my relationships. i've been a pretty shitty girlfriend in a few relationships (obviously the ones i cheated on) and those are the guys who i'm sure would tell u i'm a selfish bitch because they had a horrible experience with me. i didn't love and respect them because they either A. didn't respect themselves or B. they just treated me like shit and i wasn't ready to end it. but those are the ones who saw my ugly side and i was just trying to point out that my ugly side isn't my only side. if anything it's the side that only a few people see. same thing with my mushy lovey dovey side. only a few see that too. the rest just see my carefree, social butterfly, go w/ the flow side (friends).

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