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quote:

Originally posted by ohnoway I think it's definitely possible. I have plenty of friends who are attractive and I have never once wanted to be with them sexually

doesn't make any sense imo. it all boils down to physical attractiveness = sexual attractiveness, therefore anyone you find attractive, you could see yourself bang.

i'm not saying you can't have a close friendship with the opposite sex, i'm sure it works for some people. i'm just saying the notion of "i find XXXX really physically attractive but do not want and have never once thought of her sexually" is a load of bullshit. you're lying to yourself.

There is a difference between finding your friends attractive, vs being attracted to your friend. If the latter applies to a situation you are in, then just being friends won't happen.

Ok one, I think a lot of you are missing the point. Simply because YOU do not happen to harbor longing lustful feelings for your "friend" doesn't mean they feel the same way. All I'm reading is "I wouldn't bla bla bla" - when in fact, the issue is that one or the other eventually, at some point (or always) harbors feelings. Jenny - you've had a boyfriend for a decade. No offense, but one of your guy "friends" aren't going to say "oh hey - btw, I want to bang you." Seriously, now.

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J Yeah, I fully agree with you, but what worries me is the possibility that even if we have no intention of doing anything, we're still enacting an essentially fake friendship motivated ultimately by our libido. It suggests that men-women friendships are fundamentally different to men-men or women-women friendships. I'd like to think that any attraction is just incidental and I'd still have the same number of female friends if I had no attraction to any of them.

Two, men-women friendships ARE fundamentally different. A man-woman friendship can be close, but it is different than a woman-woman or a man-man. One of my best friends is a guy (yes - we have had feelings for each other, just never at the same time) and my friendship with him is significantly different than my friendship with a female friend. Other friendships with male friends are also different. And (eventually) you always find out who has feelings for who.... somewhere down the line. In fact, a woman-woman friendship is even more fundamentally different than a man-man friendship.

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly Ok one, I think a lot of you are missing the point. Simply because YOU do not happen to harbor longing lustful feelings for your "friend" doesn't mean they feel the same way. All I'm reading is "I wouldn't bla bla bla" - when in fact, the issue is that one or the other eventually, at some point (or always) harbors feelings. Jenny - you've had a boyfriend for a decade. No offense, but one of your guy "friends" aren't going to say "oh hey - btw, I want to bang you." Seriously, now.

The Polish whore is right.

I try sometimes

The sitcoms are right on this one for the most part. If you want to bang someone, you.... um... want to bang them.

I've known most of my guy friends longer than I've been with my bf, and I've not always been in a relationship. When my bf and I split for 2 years, only 1 of my buddies tried anything. Believe me, I can pretty much guarantee the majority of my guy friends think of me as a dude. The ones who would fuck me have never hesitated to verbalize it.

You're different, Jennie. You act like a guy. Most guys would rather not fuck guys.

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly Ok one, I think a lot of you are missing the point. Simply because YOU do not happen to harbor longing lustful feelings for your "friend" doesn't mean they feel the same way. All I'm reading is "I wouldn't bla bla bla" - when in fact, the issue is that one or the other eventually, at some point (or always) harbors feelings. Jenny - you've had a boyfriend for a decade. No offense, but one of your guy "friends" aren't going to say "oh hey - btw, I want to bang you." Seriously, now. Two, men-women friendships ARE fundamentally different. A man-woman friendship can be close, but it is different than a woman-woman or a man-man. One of my best friends is a guy (yes - we have had feelings for each other, just never at the same time) and my friendship with him is significantly different than my friendship with a female friend. Other friendships with male friends are also different. And (eventually) you always find out who has feelings for who.... somewhere down the line. In fact, a woman-woman friendship is even more fundamentally different than a man-man friendship.

100% agree, woman-woman friendships usually involve going to the washroom together / making lesbian home videos together, on the other hand, man-man friendhsips consist of drinking beer, b-b-q and talking about sports, unless your bas / clovis, then it also includes buttsekz

You know this time around I actually thought it was possible, this friend of mine I`ve known for about a month. We seemed cool, but last night she was over and told me shes scared of these feelings she has for me, not sure if they are mutual on my end AT ALL so I just said some bull shit and took her home.

It really IS NOT possible. The one time you think YOU CAN handle just being friends is the time SHE will want to bang you.

Or as PKC pointed out in your case, he.

quote:

Originally posted by Alex Or as PKC pointed out in your case, he.

he is such a little prick......


but as long as she wasn't a total minga, its profit!

She`s not bad, but its just funny how these stereotypes usually turn out to be right.

damned if you do them, damned if you don't

quote:

Originally posted by Renzo You're different, Jennie. You act like a guy. Most guys would rather not fuck guys.

Pretty much. I actually make it a point to turn up my guy factor when I'm with my guy friends, just in case they start remembering I have a vagina.

She is lying to you guys about the vagina part.

It can only work if you bang them early, or you arent attracted to them but enjoy their company regardless.

Or if they smell.

quote:

Originally posted by Zild She is lying to you guys about the vagina part.

Hahaha, see how good I am???

Calling it impossible is a definite overstatement, but I can see why some people might think it a useful one. The world is so full of oblivious people; everyone wants to think they are the exception to the general rule. Most aren't--that's why it's the general rule. But try telling them that and see how far it gets you (or don't, if you value your time.)

Of course, trying to take away that wiggle room will probably help dispel such delusions only rarely, since those in denial can just reject your claim, citing themselves as the exception which proves it false. What's really great is that these same people, if and when they finally realize their friendships weren't what they thought, will be the very people who then believe it is entirely impossible. To them, if they're not among the exceptions, then there must be no exceptions. This process of masturbatory rationalization is both extremely transparent and highly amusing once you develop an eye for it. That's why I prefer to sit back and enjoy the show rather than trying to dispel anyone's misconceptions.

yea it's impossible because of the fact that men have penises.

i have several guy friends and you definitely won't catch me saying something stupid like, "oh he would NEVER fuck me, we're like brother and sister!" lol i know how you guys are. it's just a matter of whether or not the male friend respects the boundaries and doesn't ever make me feel uncomfortable or make a move on me.

i think guys are capable of having a friendship with a girl they'd bang if given the chance. meaning, i don't think they are only "friends" with the girl because their only motive is to bang her one day.

It depends. If you're one of those guys who is happy being friends with ugly chicks, then yes, it is certainly possible.

However, if you're like me and (sub)consciously shy away from friendships with ugly girls, you are pretty much always going to have a desire to shag your friends, because they are good looking and you will always be attracted to them in some way.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie I've known most of my guy friends longer than I've been with my bf, and I've not always been in a relationship. When my bf and I split for 2 years, only 1 of my buddies tried anything. Believe me, I can pretty much guarantee the majority of my guy friends think of me as a dude. The ones who would fuck me have never hesitated to verbalize it.

i don't doubt your relationships with others being that i'm not you, or one of your close guy friends, but i'm sure the thought has passed by their heads on more than one occasion. whether they act upon it or mention it is a whole other ball of wax.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter Calling it impossible is a definite overstatement, but I can see why some people might think it a useful one. The world is so full of oblivious people; everyone wants to think they are the exception to the general rule. Most aren't--that's why it's the general rule. But try telling them that and see how far it gets you (or don't, if you value your time.) Of course, trying to take away that wiggle room will probably help dispel such delusions only rarely, since those in denial can just reject your claim, citing themselves as the exception which proves it false. What's really great is that these same people, if and when they finally realize their friendships weren't what they thought, will be the very people who then believe it is entirely impossible. To them, if they're not among the exceptions, then there must be no exceptions. This process of masturbatory rationalization is both extremely transparent and highly amusing once you develop an eye for it. That's why I prefer to sit back and enjoy the show rather than trying to dispel anyone's misconceptions.

fascinating thoughts on that, i see what you mean- and i had the same experience when talking to a person about the topic earlier in class, that of being the exception to the rule. people are egoists, what can i say.


again, is it possible for males and females to be "just friends"? sure, it happens all the time. however, is it possible for males and females to be friends without the obstacle of sexual attraction/tension? severely doubtful. unless that bitch is nasty.

Re: Male-Female Friendships

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J This friendship is different though- we live in different towns and there's no reason why we have to get on with each other. I'm pretty convinced it's compelling evidence against the COR logic on relationships and friendships. COR version: Man and woman are friends without wanting to bang each other. Impossible?

You make sex sound as something obscene or prohibited While sex is a very important and an intimate stage in any relationship; it shouldn't be restricted to remain within boundaries of 'serious' or 'other'. If you don't have any sexual desires for another woman, then you could have a platonic relationship, but I agree that at least for most men, sex is a recurring idea; at least, from my experience.

quote:

Originally posted by Omega_Blue i don't doubt your relationships with others being that i'm not you, or one of your close guy friends, but i'm sure the thought has passed by their heads on more than one occasion. whether they act upon it or mention it is a whole other ball of wax.

For sure, I don't disagree with that. I'm sure most, if not all, of my guy friends thought about it plenty of times in the beginning of our friendship. And yeah you don't know my friends...nothing would stop them from telling me that kind of shit, lol.

I'm not an idiot. I recognize that having a vagina means I've already won. Lol.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie I'm not an idiot. I recognize that having a vagina means I've already won. Lol.

um...yes? of course jenny, and to prove your point...well, let's just say that I picture you in many, many, many other ways that would sound obscene if I say them out loud...

officer!!

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie I'm not an idiot. I recognize that having a vagina means I've already won. Lol.

won at what? the race to the kitchen?? harhar kidding

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