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But who decided it was the norm? Where did that come from? To be honest, I actually have known a lot more clueless/out of tune men than women when it comes to knowing their wants/needs/motivations, etc.

Perhaps to men, it seems as though women don't know what they want because they aren't straight with you about it. But that doesn't mean they don't know what they want, it means they don't know how to be honest, lol. Accuse women of playing games by all means...but don't accuse them of not knowing what they want. I'd argue they know exactly what they want, and that they'll do whatever ruthless conniving shit they have to do to get it.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie But who decided it was the norm? Where did that come from? To be honest, I actually have known a lot more clueless/out of tune men than women when it comes to knowing their wants/needs/motivations, etc. Perhaps to men, it seems as though women don't know what they want because they aren't straight with you about it. But that doesn't mean they don't know what they want, it means they don't know how to be honest, lol. Accuse women of playing games by all means...but don't accuse them of not knowing what they want. I'd argue they know exactly what they want, and that they'll do whatever ruthless conniving shit they have to do to get it.

Hm, interesting way to put it.

Since you mention my experience... my experiences would seem to indicate that you are right that it has to do with being honest, but more so with them being honest with themselves.

That, of course, can go two ways... a woman's dishonesty with herself, or a man's naivety in taking words and actions at face value.

True, true. Fair point.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie I don't think that fact is even an issue of gender. Most people are fucking morons who don't know what they want, period. Has nothing to do with what's between one's legs.

Tell that to Lira after his encounter on the dance floor

In this situation she should find someone else. Its funny how long people will cling to each other despite that the relationship isn't working. I'm sure he's a great guy and you love him blah blah blah... But if you were single and was reading a guy's bio and it said works all the time and when I get home I'm emotionally drained and don't like to talk... Omg what a keeper!!!111

/slylee

lol @ people saying they should split up because he doesn't like to talk when he's having a bad day.

That's hardly enough pieces of the puzzle to justify a breakup...

im not going to speak for your boyfriend, but i know when i'm stressed, all i really want from my girlfriend is a relaxed time, with sex if i have enough energy. if i don't, sloppy bj's are more than welcome if not preferred

i'd also want my girlfriend to come and go as i please. most guys have things they prefer to do when stressed (workout, play video games, verbally attack people on internet forums...). what sucks is i don't really have that luxury, as when my girlfriend visits me, or i visit her, it's a bit of a trip and she doesn't have a car at this point. so this second point is voided at the moment, and i can tell you its not ideal. not to say i wouldnt want to see her during that day because i want to go to the gym, but its a minor inconvenience that i can't squeeze everything i want to in because of the traveling restrictions. /end personal rant

I agree with Jenny in that it has nothing to do with gender.
My best friend is completely clueless as to what she wants... I know her very well so I can often figure out that she means B when she says she wants A.

I am aware of the fact that I sometimes do this myself --- but AT LEAST I give my boyfriend fair warning

i.e., "Babe, my period's coming soon and I've been fucking psycho all day today - so take any negative comments with a grain of salt and remember that I am, in fact, completely normal and I love you"

He often knows to just agree with everything at these times and to not debate anything.

The reverse is MUCH more complicated --- he's stressed and DOES NOT KNOW what will make him feel better/relax/turn it off for home time.
This results in "trail and error" on my part.

In recent weeks, I have learned to gently steer our time together in a certain direction. The key is to make him think that he's making the decision.
For example, walking around nonchalantly in his view wearing cheeky panties, which leads to his decision to initiate sex.
Note: his decision

No mounting, or no-questions-asked blowing or "running around like a chicken with my head cut off"
Not my style
(I resent that phrase btw, Fledz. I will have you know that I have a completely calm demeanour, most of the time)

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow Tell that to Lira after his encounter on the dance floor In this situation she should find someone else. Its funny how long people will cling to each other despite that the relationship isn't working. I'm sure he's a great guy and you love him blah blah blah... But if you were single and was reading a guy's bio and it said works all the time and when I get home I'm emotionally drained and don't like to talk... Omg what a keeper!!!111 /slylee

this post is fairly upsetting. i doubt if this was the way he was when they first met, they'd have stayed together. obviously, whatever he's doing he's taken upon himself and i'm assuming, being a supportive girlfriend as she should be, she's stuck by him even though it's a lot of work (for both of them).

i doubt he's even "emotionally" drained, it's just most guys when somethings bothering them such as an overload of work, you already KNOW the issue. you already KNOW what's going on. just because he doesn't want to sit and have a lengthy chat about how stressed he is doesn't mean he's closing lines of communication lol

Don't become upset over something igottaknow says. Pretty sure he still lives with his mother.

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow Tell that to Lira after his encounter on the dance floor In this situation she should find someone else. Its funny how long people will cling to each other despite that the relationship isn't working. I'm sure he's a great guy and you love him blah blah blah... But if you were single and was reading a guy's bio and it said works all the time and when I get home I'm emotionally drained and don't like to talk... Omg what a keeper!!!111 /slylee

lol

You seriously never fail to confirm my belief that you are a complete moron

Are 18+ relationships completely foreign to you?
Do you seriously just sit by your PC all day watching jailbait videos on YouTube and fingering your asshole?

doesn't matter to me whether she stays with him or not. the ways she characterizes the relationship that this is an on going thing not a once in a while bad day that we all have. this is my take on it based on what she wrote i can't confirm because my crystal ball is out of service. but women have a habit of blowing things out of proportion and complaining

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow doesn't matter to me whether she stays with him or not. the ways she characterizes the relationship that this is an on going thing not a once in a while bad day that we all have. this is my take on it based on what she wrote i can't confirm because my crystal ball is out of service. but women have a habit of blowing things out of proportion and complaining

lol, to be honest it doesn't look like she blew anything out of porportion. she knows the deal, and she knows what the cause of everything is. beyond that, the issue is that with the limited time they have she's struggling for new ideas to help him through this stressful time. it's not like he's coming home and verbally abusing her, he's just stressed and that takes a toll on anyone.

i'd like to see you do the same thing, come home, and not have a frequent response along the lines of you becoming somewhat introverted. it happens. and the previous posts of guys not knowing what will make them happier in that moment is definitely true, and sometimes you can't make us happier. sometimes it's good to just let us deal. it sounds like you guys are pretty good about communication, so i'm sure he'll let you know if something about YOU is bothering him, or if he needs more/less out of you.

quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On Don't become upset over something igottaknow says. Pretty sure he still lives with his mother.

Pretttyy much.

It's like a breath of fresh air to hear something like that from a male.

Thanks for the sound perspectives.

quote:

Originally posted by Ania_xox It's like a breath of fresh air to hear something like that from a male. Thanks for the sound perspectives.

Well it doesn't help that the majority of males here are man-children. Not sure why you expected anything more, really.

::farts::

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Well it doesn't help that the majority of males here are man-children. Not sure why you expected anything more, really.

Deep down, all males are man-children.

Man-children

EMOTIONALLY RETARDED FTW

quote:

Originally posted by enydo Deep down, all males are man-children.

Ah, sorta like the way all women are whores? I suppose I'd have to agree with you then.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Ah, sorta like the way all women are whores? I suppose I'd have to agree with you then.

Yeah, and alcohol is the catalyst for all of it.

So true!

I'm pretty sure you're going to have to DO something. Most of these jackasses wouldn't have the balls to do half of what your guy does Their advice to leave him alone comes from a lifelong experience of selfishness.

If he really is as selfless as all that, and really does spend most of his time helping others and asking nothing in return, he probably really does appreciate anything you can do. If he says you're doing fine, then you probably are. Just do your best to be a good girlfriend by trying to make his day a little better, because he makes everyone else's days better all the time.

On a side note, he should also realize that you need attention as well. Being a good guy to kids and gangsters is no excuse to neglect your partner. Why go and give and give to a bunch of strangers, yet come home and be selfish toward someone you love?

It's true.

I just want to make him food and clean his den so that he'll fuck me senseless at the end of the day.

Whore Tactics 101:
When your man is busy and doesn't have much time for you, don't blame him! Instead spoil him and be as nice as you can, making him feel guilty and emotionally obliged to make it all up to you. This way you can successfully suck out his independence, manhood and life energy.

quote:

Originally posted by enydo Yeah, and alcohol is the catalyst for all of it.

Well done.

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