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quote:

Originally posted by srussell0018 He had never drank before, and the first time he went out and got absolutely hammered, he came back and had like a nervous breakdown in my room. Bawling his eyes out talking about how nobody on our hall liked him and everyone thought he was weird.

What did you say?

I have a story about a roomate who had nervous breakdowns on occasion:

I'm bored as fuck so I think i'll give you guys something to quote and say "tl;dr"


For about 3 years I lived with all the same guys. That is, if you consider all dorming together in the freshman dorms and then finding sophomore dorms together/next door, then finally a house our jr year. The house was two years ago. Anyway, we became quite good friends. None of us joined fraternities or anything of that nature and mostly did everything together. It was strange, though, because we were all so different. 7 of us in total, and I think that I'd only really willingly hang out with 2 of them if I hadn't been such a little bitch and just happy to make friends.

So I'll break down the 6 other people:
1) The high school football star/ex-amateur bodybuilder (stopped after staph infection from taking steroids). This guy always boasted about his former steroid and drug use, as well as how money he was going to make in the future and how that was all he cared about (his dad is an author of self help lit, i believe). Came to college with a girlfriend of 4 years who cheated on him with a senior our freshman year. After that he took to drinking 1/2 a fifth of whiskey (at least) every single day, starting as soon as he woke up. Subsequently, he developed a serious coke problem that got him kicked out of school for a year. That 'end of freshman year story' is another one entirely though.
2) the nerdy engineering major who was usually way too busy doing homework to party with us. he was good at video games, generally just a really nice person, and, after drinking with us, learned to hold his liquor. we always thought of him as a bit dweeby so it amazed us to learn that the other engineers looked to him as their alpha-male.
3) the golfer on a full scholarship that he certainly didn't need since his dad had stupid money. he had been a prodigy in high school but since then he developed serious mental problems that he couldn't shake and only made the cut to play in one tournament for our school all 4 years in college. still, the guys all looked to him as their god. it was like my friends worshiped him almost. for his confidence, i suppose, but he was more boyish than any of them seemed to realize.
4) the lacrosse player who would do anything to be #3 and did everything in his power to emulate him and tie the two of them together. couldn't fathom how the other guys did not worship him similarly
5) the one legitimately normal guy (my freshman roommate) who was, above all else, a really kindhearted person who was always there for his friends. He was a bit boyish as well, but always a pleasure to be around.
6) The 5'5 irish kid with serious chest hair and some real facial hair as well. very insecure, and not particularly bright (he's in law school now). he still spells sure "shure". he looked to #3 and #4 and wished he could be like them. even #1. he had no luck with girls. ever.


Anyway, this story is about #6. Come their senior year, this guy was desperate to get laid. He'd see #4 and #3 hooking up with girls at parties. He'd hear #1 constantly talking about sex and how important/cool it was (he rarely got any). He'd see girls sleeping over in my room and hear the guys talking about that. He knew that the other 2 guys didn't care about girls quite as much yet, but god damnit he did. Problem was, he was truly pathetic with 'em. He'd get reallly hammered at a party, find a drunk girl on the couch and start talking to her. If he managed to not frighten her away immediately, he'd end up putting his arm around her, scooting in really close, and then start talking about dragonball z or something completely strange and out there. He'd get denied CONSTANTLY. Eventually couldn't take it anymore. On 5 separate occasions over the year we'd make it home around 2 or 3 and he'd break down sobbing on the floor.

One time, and god this was so fucking hard to watch, he broke down to guy #1. #1 was binging heavily on whiskey at the time, and when that happened he fancied himself a god among men. #6 is crying, bawling his eyes out to #1 and asking why he can't get with girls. why they don't like him. then he starts asking why #1 won't help him.
#1 lashes out at him "YOU FUCKING WISH YOU WERE ME BRO."
#6 "sob sob sob..you're right. i do"
#1 "you're fucking pathetic. kill yourself. you fucking wish you got as many girls as me. you fucking wish you looked like me"
----keep in mind he doesn't get many girls and isn't attractive
#6 "i do..."
#1 "YOU FUCKING WISH YOU WERE ME. YOU WISH YOU WER ELIKE ME. FUCK YOU"
and that went on for maybe a full hour. #1 just kept saying "i do"

The rest of the guys were just snickering about how stupid #6 was and how cool #1. (Except for #2 and #5)
I pitied him so much, and realized then that I hated almost every single person in that house.

a guy who probably took lots of acid when he lived in Montana.

Also, one time I was kinda drunk and getting freaky with a girl in the pool room. I didn't have a condom on me and was in a hurry so, assuming everyone was asleep, I walked in the house butt ass naked. Turned out they were watching tv downstairs where I walked in. #6 kept staring at my fully erect dong and then the next morning asked me "how was it man. you looked like you were ready to go last night"

quote:

Originally posted by LAdazeNYnights

I didn't say anything. I walked in on him crying to himself so I just turned around and walked out lol

quote:

Originally posted by LAdazeNYnights

I now hate every last one of you.

quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I now hate every last one of you.

My last roommate before I found my own place. Dirty kitchen tables with pink protein powder leftovers everywhere. Microwave with liquid cereal leftovers that solidified into a crust layer. I told him repeteadly to clean that shit up and it was like that again in two days. When we were moving out and cleaning the place up, his bathroom looked like something you enter with a hazmat suit on. Absolutely horrid and disgusting. So happy I have my own place. No more roomates ever again!

quote:

Originally posted by 3xx3r7 So happy I have my own place. No more roomates ever again!

YESSS

Meh, I've always lived (1) with my family, (2) by myself or (3) with my fiancée. And I like to write, so I'm going to talk the worst thing that never happened to me.

I didn't live with three people (four, depending on how you count) in an apartment no one of us rented next to the university. I'm not going to change their names because I firmly believe we should all be responsible for our acts. And because they don't exist anyway, so why bother?

• Anjo, whose real name was João, was a really effeminate undergrad who studied literature. He had blond curly hair and green eyes, hence his nickname. He always made sure he mentioned to everyone he met that he once had a girlfriend in Rio de Janeiro. And that they only broke up because he had to move to Brasília. And that they both owned every single record Madonna ever released. Hey, why the smirk?! He's a born-again Christian who wouldn't ever lie down with a man like he did with his girlfriend! No problem if they were standing though;
  
  
• Amélia also studied linguistics, and she was one year behind me. She had an abusive boyfriend who was really nice to everyone... except her. Her iris was pitch dark, really black - and so was her eye on occasion. Did I really make fun of the domestic violence? I apologise, and so did her boyfriend every morning after he spent the night drinking got back home and knocked her and all the furniture about. His name was Antônio, by the way. They both became somewhat passive-aggressive after a while;
  
  
• Akiko was the sweet exchange student who spent a couple of years on this side of the world. Her hobbies were cooking, kickboxing, and walking around the house topless to tease João (she always did this when I wasn't home, and according to all reports I was given, the moment he saw her bosom, João would always clasp his hands together in front of his mouth and run away yelling... I never made fun of him because, were I single, I'd most likely have a very similar reaction, although I'd have most definitely run in the opposite direction). She was British, from Swansea. Oh, and she studied biology, by the way.

I'm so confused

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Come oooon. What's the worst thing that could happen?

Someone could hurl my TV a considerable distance, apparently.

might still be me.

http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...16#.T28pN8Ugef4

quote:

Originally posted by Lira

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk I'm so confused

I got carried away

quote:

Originally posted by Spam

I once let out a room to a friend of a friend. He fucking stank. He never washed, was thick as fuck and used to eat all my food after he lost his job.

The agreement was that we'd both chip in for everyday essentials, like toilet paper, washing up liquid, furniture polish and so on.

It got to the stage where he was buying nothing, paying me nothing, and eating my stuff. I'd leave a tub of peanut butter, and make a mark in it to see if he'd eaten any, then I'd get home, half would be gone and he'd deny it.

Then the great toilet paper stand-off happened. Basically we ran out, and I wondered what he'd do. I could go at work if I needed to, but what would he do? Well, let me tell you, I wasn't too impressed when I went in there one morning and found a rolled up sock covered in shit in the bin.

End of tenancy.

yeah.... i still probably have the worst room mate story ever.... but ill leave it up to Nrg2Nfinit to tell as he delights in retelling that one.....


lets just put it this way, it involved:
- a dog that i didnt know he had living in his room
- a collection of rubber dicks (some broken in half)
- a tub of margarine with finger marks in it
- the bath tub

and it ended with him going to jail for 7 years.....

quote:

Originally posted by colonelcrisp and it ended with him going to jail for 7 years.....

Now this sounds like a story I want to hear.

since Karim is being lazy today, ill to my best to re tell the story accurately.

Back in 2003 i had plans to rent a small house in the glebe (a trendy Ottawa neighborhood) near the university i attended for my undergraduate engineering degree. My buddy bails in august after i had signed the lease so i was pretty much screwed. I resorted to the worst possible idea i have ever had which was advertise fora roomate in the penny saver.... now to put this into perspective, the penny saver is like advertising in the national enquirer.... only loonies and psychos read that shit...

after a few weeks of negative results, dave (the roomate) agrees to the rent and moves in. for the first few weeks, apart from him being kind of shy and a bit odd (and his gf looked like a globular single celled organism... think nou with tits) everything seemed to be going well. As the months progressed i started noticing little things going missing every once in a while, mainly just small knick nacks and the odd plate or utensil. Around thanksgiving (first week of october not in november you bloody yanks) i went home to spend the holiday with my family and i left my buddy danny in charge of taking care of my two chinchillas (piet and jaspa ... yes i named my chinchillas after blank and jones..... blow me)

when i return, i notice danny is a bit aloof but he's a white irish kid from laval, so i just chalk it up to him being a dirty mick. i start noticing scratchin noises at night comming from the heating vent, but i just attribute that to mice in the basement or something (it was a very old and shitty house)

in the comming months i saw less and less of dave, i wouldnt ever see him, and his room was always closed. I also noticed over those months that i would sometimes find dishes in the bathroom and sometimes a margarine container. in my naivitee i thought "hey maybe this kid likes to have buttered toast while having a bath or something"

in early december, my computer goes missing and then i started to put two and two together. the one night my buddy and i knock on daves door to confront him about my missing stuff that im now sure he was stealing (anyone who smoked that much weed and didnt have a job was either selling it or stealing to buy it) and there was no answer so we kicked in the door (he had barricaded it from the inside and apparently was using the 12" x 24" window to enter and exit the apt)

The sight of his room was well indescribable.. the scratching sound i had been hearing for months was a dog he kept in his room..... a dog which im pretty sure never left too often because there was dog shit EVERYWHERE on his bed, under his bed (thats where he would throw most of it when it interfered with his sleeping area), there was also an assortment of things that belonged to me that he had modified in to crude pokey weapon things that he had stabbed into the wall and left them there....

but what about the missing dishes you may ask? well dave apparently had some kind of lost connection to louis pasteur as he had been growing no less than 15 different mould cultures (i expect he was looking for the new penecillin...)

we quickly leave his room (as we didnt yet have the appropriate personal protective devices to remain in the exclusion zone) and headed to the hardware store to buy some locks.

upon returning home i quickly siezed any of his belongings int eh common area (things not tainted by mouldy food and dog shit) and locked them in the basement with two very large padlocks. i also put one on my bedroom door to prevent him from murdering me in my sleep). i posted a very nicely worded eviction letter on his door (he owed me at least two months rent at this point) and finally called the cops. they showed up and i filed a police report for all my missing stuff and the cops predictably did nothing.

after about 3 weeks of no contact i get a call from dave's brother saying that he was comming by in two days to pick up daves stuff. my buddy danny comes over and we decide that we will help dave move out by6 shovelling all his shit onto the front lawn.

Step one: the prep

we donned steel toed rubber boots with tyvex chemical suits (stolen from Ford Motor Company during one of my 5 years working there) with safety goggles, and full coverage respirators with organic chemical filters on them and a heavy duty pair of rubber gloves. (we actually duct taped the ankles and wrists to prevent any possible skin contact with his filth). armed with snow shovels and garbage bags, we breached the abbyss.

The big stuff went first, bed, matress, desk and computer all got thrown out into the snow. well moving his dresser, the drawer bottoms broke and the contents spilled onto the floor. at this point im pretty sure i tested the limits of my ability to hold down my dinner. out onto the filth covered floor fell no less than 8 rubber dicks of various colors, sizes and states of abuse.....

this is when danny comes clean.... when he had come to feed my chinchillas, he walked in to find dave passed out on the couch in his boxers... ok who hasnt passed out around your living room in their boxers when they know no one else is home.... danny then goes into the bathroom to fill the water dish and notices the tub is full of murky water........ with the lights on he notices that there is a giant fucking 10" rubber dick sticking out of the water with a tub of margarine beside it with finger marks in it!

i almost punched danny for not telling me this sooner.......

i return to disposing of this assholes stuff with a fervor... making sure that his rubber dick colleciton got a place of prominence in the piile forming on the front snow bank so his brother would see that his dear dave liked to have greased up pipe cleaners shoved up his bum....

This is where we also noticed the sheer volume of dog shit under the bed..... it got shoveled into bags with his clothes.....


the rest of that part of the story is boring...

fast forward 3 years.... i am working for Ford again and living at my parents place for the summer. there is a knock at the door followed by my mom screaming down the stairs at me "mark, the cops are here, what the fuck did you do this time?" (i had a bad habbit of spending the night in the drunk tank at home because i had a morbid fascination with making fun of police officers when i was drunk.... its a hometown thing... hard to explain). much to my chagrin, it was a subpoena to appear in court in Ottawa to testify against my old roommate who had just gotten nabbed crossing the US border into canada with 10 lbs of weed in a backpack.... on a greyhound no less (idiot).

the Crown attorney paid for a flight from london ontario to ottawa, put me up for two days at the lord elgin hotel (nice swanky hotel across from the provincial court house downtown) and gave me 100$ a day for expenses plus paid me a wage reimbursement for the two days i had to take off work. All to potentially damn the person who stole my shit. Needless to say, when he saw me take the stand, he wasnt happy about it.

Awesome story

I was really hoping the 7 years in prison would be directly related to living in the house though.

quote:

Originally posted by LAdazeNYnights I was really hoping the 7 years in prison would be directly related to living in the house though.

I also assumed this was the case.

To be honest, my worst roommate ever is right now and she isn't even bad, I just want to be alone most of the time. I usually lived at home with my parents and then many many years with my Grandma. But I did live with these two cousins that were from Chicago that I met on the Riverwalk (San Antonio's tourist trap) while waiting tables. They were both cute as a button and asked me to move in because the 3rd friend from Chicago wanted to go back to Chicago, she was the prettiest and I almost slept with her one night. Anyway after she moved out I moved in. I was about 3 months away from turning 22, so I was 21 at this time and I was living with two very cute girls, but they were strictly friends and they had other girlfriends that lived in the Town House Apartments we lived in. One roommate had a boyfriend and he was the coolest. The other roommate and I would flirt a lot but nothing, it was just fun to live with them and meeting their friends. Then a co-workers wife introduced me to this 18 year old Canadian girl that was on a 6 month vacation from living with her Dad in Canada to come and spend time with her Mother before she went back Canada for college. She worked at a T-Shirt shop on top of the Riverwalk that sold Band T-Shirts and San Antonio shirts. She moved in after a couple months and we all got a long and it was fucking rad.

so you almost fucked your cousin?

cowabunga.

Turtles in a half shell !!!

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