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- Chill Out Room
-- so i'm suppose to beat off for the rest of my life?
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I make no qualms or attempt to hide my masturbation from my wife.

I will literally pop a vig, smoke a bowl, announce to the wife and nanny that they are not to bother me for 3 hours for my "da fei ji" time (Mandarin for jerking off, literally translates to "shoot the plane".)

The first time the nanny heard this she was like wtf? I had to explain that men have desires, and if they are not met, i will be knee deep in chickens (Chinese euphemism for hookers) and not be able to pay her.

She avoided me for 2 days, now she chuckles when i lock the door. I like to jokingly chase her around with my cum caked hands while screaming, "Ebola! Ebola!".

Jerking off has never been so fun. Once the kitty mill closes, I find myself eye-fucking everything. Need to release the beast.

Most of the fun of sex, foreplay, making out, being horny or pervy, etc., is not the actual sex but the emotional and psychological intimacy of it, hence why something like jerking off in front of your partner and vice versa is actually pretty hot, and can really strengthen your bond (if you're not stunted in some way).

I think people put too much weight on intercourse. I mean yes it's clearly important, but there's lots of other ways to be sexually intimate that don't involve penetration. It isn't just about reaching climax, imo.

I can't believe so many people still think masturbation is such a big fucking deal, moreover that it can't be as satisfying as sex. I don't really think it should be a case of 'one or the other', it should be both.

All I know is that...... women shouldn't touch themselves or have any kind of naughty sexual thoughts, unless they are in heat and want to bare children, but only for that sole purpose. Other then that, poking yo'self is bad for yo' health, ladies! Hmmph!

Somebody ban this idiot already, jesus.

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Somebody ban this idiot already, jesus.

Wanna fight me?

Why can't you people just ignore him?

True. True.

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Somebody ban this idiot already, jesus.

I am sure He will be back with another alt in no time at all but what the hell

Suspending this alt of his for his sexist and homophobic posts

Victory! In your face, Lews!

Yeah, yeah, yeah

quote:

Originally posted by Dykes_on_Jay I make no qualms or attempt to hide my masturbation from my wife. I will literally pop a vig, smoke a bowl, announce to the wife and nanny that they are not to bother me for 3 hours for my "da fei ji" time (Mandarin for jerking off, literally translates to "shoot the plane".) The first time the nanny heard this she was like wtf? I had to explain that men have desires, and if they are not met, i will be knee deep in chickens (Chinese euphemism for hookers) and not be able to pay her. She avoided me for 2 days, now she chuckles when i lock the door. I like to jokingly chase her around with my cum caked hands while screaming, "Ebola! Ebola!". Jerking off has never been so fun. Once the kitty mill closes, I find myself eye-fucking everything. Need to release the beast.

God you are just like my boyfriend.

I don't understand what the big deal is. To be so insecure as to not allow your partner to indulge in a bit of singular pleasure.
I would assume it would mostly be an issue if it affected the sexual relations between two partners in terms of decreased activity.

I find the older I get (38 next month), the less appealing it is. It's too much like goddamned work. It's: hand...or pussy. Pussy every time. Now, that doesn't mean pussy is just going to show up and avail itself. But, if it does, hey...bonus! If it doesn't, proceed with the day as planned.

quote:

[i][b]Originally posted by Silky Johnson

This goes in teh hand?

In your hand, all over your genitals, whichever you prefer. Astroglide is the shit.

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson In your hand, all over your genitals, whichever you prefer. Astroglide is the shit.

There's an anal joke in there somewhere, I'm sure of it! ;-)

lol

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson

I've actually never used astroglide or even been around it or known anyone that uses it despite it being pretty much a cliche at this point. Strange.

There is a sex shop here that has a fairly big online presence and have their own water based lube. I've been a fan of that for years. It tastes like nothing which is a big bonus. I bought... Liquid Silk I think once? That stuff made me gag the first time it ever came in contact with my tongue.

Never again.

On a semi-related note I once ate a packet of cherry lube on the bus during high school on a dare. Tasted pretty good.

Astroglide really is the best lubricant. It doesn't get all sticky and nasty like most lubricants. Great for handjobs....and other stuff.

What the fuck are you tasting/eating lube for???

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Astroglide really is the best lubricant. It doesn't get all sticky and nasty like most lubricants. Great for handjobs....and other stuff. What the fuck are you tasting/eating lube for???

Um. Use your imagination?

Is astroglide a oil based one? Yea the thing I don't like about water based lubricants is that if there isn't any constant moisture (which isn't normally a problem in most cases) it gets sticky and gross quickly, especially on your hands...

I'm pretty sure it's water based.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the implication you're making is that you need it for dry vaginas. Well I'm not surprised vaginas dry up in your presence. Lololololol.

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson I'm pretty sure it's water based. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the implication you're making is that you need it for dry vaginas. Well I'm not surprised vaginas dry up in your presence. Lololololol.

No, not the implication I am making. There are plenty of other reason you might be tasting lube... You are not thinking dirty enough.

Illuminate us.

Yeah ok Nou.

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