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-- favorite quotes from The Simpsons
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Posted by Ezman on Aug-03-2004 01:19:

Not sure exactly how it goes but something like:

someone-"How do we get out of here?"
Homer - "We will dig our way out!"
Cheif Wiggum - "No, dig UP, stupid!"


Posted by Vivid Boy on Aug-03-2004 01:42:

Homer: everybody get off the streets theres nothing to see here. move along.



Dancing kids:ITS HAMMER!


Posted by dcential on Aug-03-2004 01:48:

Homer: "I'm not that smart....or are I?"


Posted by occrider on Aug-03-2004 02:12:

Grandpa Simpson: now my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say �dickety� cause the Kaiser had stolen our word �twenty�. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles

Grandpa Simpson: my son is NOT a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, and a communist, but he is NOT a porn star

Jasper Jones: "Slow down. The sidewalk's for regular walkin', not for fancy walkin'."

Dr. Nick: The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch... Uh oh.

Jasper Jones: You sank my battleship.


MR. SPARKLE:
I'm disrespectful to dirt! Can you see I am serious?
MR. SPARKLE:
Get out of my way, all of you! This is no place for loafers. Join me or die. Can you do any less?
THE WOMEN:
What a brave corporate logo! I
accept the challenge of "Mr. Sparkle."
WOMAN:
Awsoma power!
REPORTER:
Any plans for the summer?
MR. SPARKLE:
For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle!



Willie: "Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender-monkeys!"

Willie: "There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman"

JASPER:Talking out of turn...that's a paddling. Looking out the window...that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals...that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddling."


Shary: Hello, Willie.
Lisa: You know her?
Willie: Aye. Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old
country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest
man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her
Shary: It's good to see you, Willie.
Willie: [angry] That's not what you said the first time you saw me!


Sigh ... there's far too many.


Posted by PHALPAX on Aug-03-2004 03:00:

"some people have accused this family for not being patriotic, but you can't spell U.S.A. without us....eh?


Posted by Falcon-X on Aug-03-2004 06:01:

quote:
Originally posted by PHALPAX
"some people have accused this family for not being patriotic, but you can't spell U.S.A. without us....eh?


Haha that was a good show.

Skinner ''this offends me not only as the principle of this school but also as a veteran of america's only losing war''
Homer ''To date''


Homer (in France) ''Here, no one calls me a fat slob, I'm a Gourmand''


While the familly escapes from alcatraz prison:
Guard 1 ''Wait dont shoot, that walrus will stop them''
Guard 2 ''hmmm that's the father''
Guard 1 ''But he's eating a Seal''


Posted by Streakfury on Aug-03-2004 09:25:

Professor Frink:
quote:
I predict that in 100 years computers will be twice as powerful, ten thousand times larger, and so expensive, only the five richest kings of Europe will own them.


Posted by stevebutabi on Aug-03-2004 15:34:

quote:
Grandpa Simpson: now my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say �dickety� cause the Kaiser had stolen our word �twenty�. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles


that's a great one


Posted by Streakfury on Aug-03-2004 21:21:

Homer:
quote:
Look Flanders, I'm a patient, reasonable, handsome man...



Posted by D-res on Aug-03-2004 22:37:

Doctor says: "Homer, there seems to be a crayon lodged in your brain."
Homer: "theres a crayon in my brain?" he says while pointing at his chest. the doctor moves his finger to his head.
Doctor: "this maybe the cause of your... subnormal intelligence."
Homer: "hey, i came here to be drugged, electricuted and probed, not insulted! But i dont understand. Ive had hundreds of head XRAYs. why havent i heard about this until now?"
Doctor Hibbert walks in and says, "Oh i can explain that. See everytime i hold an XRAY i hold it like this. My thumb must have covered the crayon everytime" He laughs and then says,"I'll show myself out."
Doctor: "we could remove the crayon for you. It could drastically increase your brain power; or it could possibly kill you.
Homer: "increase my killing power, eh? Lets do it!"


i know thats not exact but its as good as i could remember. I always crack up at that one. no matter how often i see it.


Posted by Streakfury on Aug-03-2004 22:57:

Mr Burns and his son at an upper-class social gathering:

One of the older female guests, to Monty and son:
quote:
Have you met my daughter, she came out last year??


**camera views a hideous-looking woman**

Monty Burns' son:
quote:
Whoa, put her back in, she's not done yet!!



Posted by DjCoz on Aug-04-2004 03:54:

Cool

Homer sitting in front of a conveyer belt with lots of food on it.
Scientist: Homer you really don't want the food in front of you?
Homer: FOOD? AAAAHHH I'm Blind!!!

Ralph to Lisa: Soooo, do you like stuff?
Ralph: I'm a boy
Ralph:My cat's breath smells like catfood.

Homer at Frank Grimes funeral: Change the channel Marge (while half asleep).

Homer: Oh God why do you mock me?
Marge: Homer that's not God that's a waffle that's been stuck to the ceiling. (Scrapes it off and it falls into Homer's hands.)
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee.(Bites into it)Mmmmm, Sacrilicious.

Wiggum at Krusty's plane crash: Alright move it along nothing to see here... Oh wait there's a plane crash, gather round don't be shy.

Willie: ahhh don't feel bad, I've been wrestling wolves since you were at your mother's teeet.


Detective trying to impose prohibition: As for the Beer Baron, I believe he was just a figment of our imagination, to think that someone could actually be smuggling beer right under my nose is laughable... ggghhh chhh sss... WELL YOU ALL KNOW WHAT LAUGHTER SOUNDS LIKE!

Burns:Smithers why are my teeth showing?
Smithers:Because you're smiling sir.
Burns: Excellent.

Rod to Flanders: Daddy I'm jealous of girls because they get to wear dresses.
Flanders: One problem at a time son.

Homer:This one's got purple in it.. Purple's a fruit.


Posted by meneedit on Aug-04-2004 04:13:

"my eyes, the goggles do nothing!"


Posted by DjCoz on Aug-04-2004 16:59:

Cool

"My son is also named Bort"


Posted by Reactic on Aug-24-2004 17:25:

Homer's quotes are the best!

Homer: "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? R U Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe)


Posted by UWM on Aug-24-2004 17:31:

quote:
Originally posted by Reactic
Homer's quotes are the best!

Homer: "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? R U Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe)


U R Gay.


Posted by nekholm on Aug-24-2004 18:34:

2 quite alike qoutes from the same episode:

Lisa: Or, we could hand out teachers' home phonenumbers, so kids can call them whenever they have questions.
Supernintendo () Chalmers: I've got a question. You're crazy!

Chief Wiggum: Well I can't take that rattlesnake out of his mailbox now, now can I?
Eddy/Lou: Yes chief, you could.
Chief Wiggum: Well let me ask you this. Shut up!


Posted by Fundamental on Aug-24-2004 18:43:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr.Mystery
Hello, I'm Leonard Nimoy.
The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true I mean... false.
It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies... and in the end, isn't that the real truth?
The answer... is no.


I remember that one well.


Posted by Streakfury on Aug-24-2004 19:34:

quote:
Originally posted by Fundamental
I remember that one well.


quote:
I dont think he's coming back...



Posted by jonze on Aug-24-2004 19:47:

Lou: "There's an explosion at the ole Simpson Place."
Wiggum: "Forget it, that's two blocks away."
Lou: "Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney."
Wiggum: "I am proceeding on foot, call in a code 8."
Lou: "We need pretzels, I repeat pretzels."


Posted by tribu on Aug-24-2004 20:47:

quote:
Originally posted by madhattared
Moe hooked up to the lie detector test, this one is great lol

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No! *buzz* Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. *ding*
Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. *buzz* A date. *buzz* Dinner with a friend. *buzz* Dinner alone. *buzz* Watching TV alone. *buzz* Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. *buzz* Sears catalog. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *buzz*



HAHAHAHA Id forgotten about this one, but I agree! It is one of the best ever!


Posted by ClubHarder on Aug-24-2004 21:10:

quote:
Homer: [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

Simpsons rules!!


Posted by Clovis on Aug-24-2004 21:31:

Homer: "Now you kids be good, we'll bring back dinner."
Bart: "What are we having"
Homer: "Well that depends on what the teachers say...if you've been good...pizza. If you've been bad...uh...poison."
Lisa: "What if one of us has been bad and one of us has been good?"
Bart: "Poisoned pizza "
Homer: "Oh no I'm not makin two stops!"


Posted by Fundamental on Aug-24-2004 23:40:

Dead Groundskeeper Willie: "You'll pay for this... WITH YOUR CHILDREN'S BLOOD!!"
Wiggum: "Oh right... How are you gonna get 'em? Skeleton power?"


Posted by Eddie N MIAMI on Aug-25-2004 01:14:

Glad to see this thread back


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