The official nice guys thread - TranceAddict Forums

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Posted by AwakenedAddict on Mar-11-2005 20:00:

quote:
Originally posted by Jem_hadar
My biggest problem too! I over think EVERYTHING too... it just happens naturally.

Over-analyzing is not the trouble, it's over-reacting!You have got to analyze a relationship if you are to be serious about it, you just have to analyze it in an unbiased manner (which can be hard sometimes!).

Posted by Jayx1 on Mar-11-2005 20:02:

quote:
Originally posted by Jem_hadar
Confidence (but NOT cockiness!) will do FAR MORE for you then ppl who lack it realize.

Confidence in urself, in ur motives, in whut u want, etc. etc. REALLY IS key!

its the secret password to whole new world

but people equate confidence to cockiness.

Why do you think many women pride themselves on being called a bitch? Or why many guys will readily admit to being an asshole?

The most telling aspect of what i am talking about when it comes to both sexes in our society is how the word "bitch" somehow became a compliment.

Posted by Jem_hadar on Mar-11-2005 20:06:

quote:
Originally posted by AwakenedAddict
Over-analyzing is not the trouble, it's over-reacting!You have got to analyze a relationship if you are to be serious about it, you just have to analyze it in an unbiased manner (which can be hard sometimes!).

Oh no, i didnt mean it like that.

i mean i naturally have a tendacy to overthink/analyze small shit... like, omg she didnt do this (something really minor/stupid)... whut does this mean ?? whut if she wants to breakup.. is she mad. blah blah blah...

its just small stuff that means nothing, ill be looking into it and trying to devine meaning from it, when really its just whut it is and has no deeper or other meaning.

esp. overthing stuff at the beginning of a relationship or before, like when ur only dating and shit... its easy to do, but really fruitless i find.

i used to always do that years ago... its so much nicer when u dont worry about stuff liek that until it makes sense to as u said above

Posted by DigDeep on Mar-11-2005 20:08:

quote:
Originally posted by StereoPrincess
Jeff is soooo baaad, he needs a spanking!

I like where this is goin...... ALRRRIIIIIIIGHT!

Posted by starsearcher on Mar-11-2005 20:08:

quote:
Originally posted by Jem_hadar
Oh no, i didnt mean it like that.

i mean i naturally have a tendacy to overthink/analyze small shit... like, omg she didnt do this (something really minor/stupid)... whut does this mean ?? whut if she wants to breakup.. is she mad. blah blah blah...

its just small stuff that means nothing, ill be looking into it and trying to devine meaning from it, when really its just whut it is and has no deeper or other meaning.

esp. overthing stuff at the beginning of a relationship or before, like when ur only dating and shit... its easy to do, but really fruitless i find.

i used to always do that years ago... its so much nicer when u dont worry about stuff liek that until it makes sense to as u said above

I think i know what youre problem is.....

you're a girl! j/k of course...every single girl i've ever dated has been like that...I got over that long ago thankfully.

Posted by Jem_hadar on Mar-11-2005 20:09:

quote:
Originally posted by Jayx1
but people equate confidence to cockiness.

Why do you think many women pride themselves on being called a bitch? Or why many guys will readily admit to being an asshole?

The most telling aspect of what i am talking about when it comes to both sexes in our society is how the word "bitch" somehow became a compliment.

^^^ at the last part Hahahahahahaahah

true ... i know I for one see a HUGE difference between confidence and cockiness. and its easy to pick out which one is displaying (for me neways)

i find it sad that some equate one w/ the other and that somehow someone CANNOT tell teh difference ???? WTF!

Posted by Jem_hadar on Mar-11-2005 20:13:

quote:
Originally posted by starsearcher
I got over that long ago thankfully.

Me too... i was just saying, early highschool years, i was totally like that...

thank god those days are a beyond me. id prolly be going insane right now i had somehow managed to conintue thinking that way.

thats no way to enjoy life! be free. be happy! liberate urself!

Posted by Jayx1 on Mar-11-2005 20:13:

Id love to see how long youd last in latin america if you called a girl "puta" and meant it as a compliment.

Posted by trancechaos on Mar-11-2005 20:16:

personally i think this thread is going in a shit direction, there are some people in this thread who are out to make nice guys look like sissies and i cant deal with that type of crap. im sorry but i dont want to have to try over and over and over to make people see the positive side of bieng nice.

happy debating folks

Posted by Jayx1 on Mar-11-2005 20:18:

quote:
Originally posted by trancechaos
personally i think this thread is going in a shit direction, there are some people in this thread who are out to make nice guys look like sissies and i cant deal with that type of crap. im sorry but i dont want to have to try over and over and over to make people see the positive side of bieng nice.

happy debating folks

exactly the point im making. Nice people in canadian society are made out to be sissies or weak.

Im tired of it.

Posted by Enraptured on Mar-11-2005 20:19:

quote:
Originally posted by trancechaos
personally i think this thread is going in a shit direction, there are some people in this thread who are out to make nice guys look like sissies and i cant deal with that type of crap. im sorry but i dont want to have to try over and over and over to make people see the positive side of bieng nice.

happy debating folks

I'm with you... is this self-justification?

I am how I am. To everyone, no conditions!

If someone finds that attractive, great, if not, well, their loss!

Posted by starsearcher on Mar-11-2005 20:20:

"it's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice!"

Posted by starsearcher on Mar-11-2005 20:22:

quote:
Originally posted by Jayx1
exactly the point im making. Nice people in canadian society are made out to be sissies or weak.

Im tired of it.

I actually think that whole notion that Canadians are "nice" is BS...and I don't mean to say in a way that I think they are bad or mean or evil or assholes or anything...but "nice..."....i don't know I think Canadians gave themselves this image but I don't really know where it's coming from... <--- that's a true Canadian...playing hockey and drinking beer...and of course not to forget

Posted by Skipper on Mar-11-2005 20:23:

All right, I haven't read this whole thread, but I can say that nice guys are often mistaken for sissies because they ARE.

Not generalizing, but I like a guy who doesn't take any of my shit, who tells me when I'm being obnoxious, who doesn't rearrange his schedule and come over because I want to get busy, etc etc.

Many nice guys are too accomodating of other people's needs. This earns them the reputation for allowing people (NOT just women) to walk all over them. And those guys are the ones who are sissies.

Posted by oldschool420 on Mar-11-2005 20:23:

Posted by Jayx1 on Mar-11-2005 20:26:

quote:
Originally posted by Skipper
All right, I haven't read this whole thread, but I can say that nice guys are often mistaken for sissies because they ARE.

Not generalizing, but I like a guy who doesn't take any of my shit, who tells me when I'm being obnoxious, who doesn't rearrange his schedule and come over because I want to get busy, etc etc.

Many nice guys are too accomodating of other people's needs. This earns them the reputation for allowing people (NOT just women) to walk all over them. And those guys are the ones who are sissies.

Again there is a difference between being a doormat and being nice. Being a doormat means putting up with BS which waaaay too many Canadian guys do. Being nice means showing you care, treating other's with respect (real respect), letting people in in traffic instead of cutting them off, helping a random stranger out. etc. All these things are considered sissy.

How many times have i heard people say "oh that person is just way too nice" ...TOO NICE??????

Posted by starsearcher on Mar-11-2005 20:28:

quote:
Originally posted by Jayx1
How many times have i heard people say "oh that person is just way too nice" ...TOO NICE??????

I say that all the time and it's true...they are too nice and the fact of the matter is they have to be tough, everyone does...such is life it's called survival...i tell that to many of my too nice friends all the time...if you're too nice to people eventually someone will step all over you and that's a fact. There is DEFINITELY such a thing as TOO NICE! and at the end of the day it's not worth it...

Posted by Jayx1 on Mar-11-2005 20:29:

quote:
Originally posted by starsearcher
I say that all the time and it's true...they are too nice and the fact of the matter is they have to be tough, everyone does...such is life it's called survival...i tell that to many of my too nice friends all the time...if you're too nice to people eventually someone will step all over you and that's a fact. There is DEFINITELY such a thing as TOO NICE! and at the end of the day it's not worth it...

and that is a very very sad commentary on modern canadian society.

This is why everyone here lives under such a thick layer of bullshit confidence i guess.

Posted by starsearcher on Mar-11-2005 20:31:

quote:
Originally posted by Jayx1
and that is a very very sad commentary on modern canadian society.

This is why everyone here lives under such a thick layer of bullshit confidence i guess.

but it has nothing to do with CANADIAN society...it has to do with human nature with is not NICE to begin with...That's where you are all confused it's really nothing to do with Canadian society at all...

Posted by StereoPrincess on Mar-11-2005 20:32:

Posted by StereoPrincess on Mar-11-2005 20:34:

quote:
Originally posted by Floorwhore
I like where this is goin...... ALRRRIIIIIIIGHT!

OH YEAH!

How bad have you been?

Posted by Jayx1 on Mar-11-2005 20:36:

quote:
Originally posted by starsearcher
but it has nothing to do with CANADIAN society...it has to do with human nature with is not NICE to begin with...That's where you are all confused it's really nothing to do with Canadian society at all...

Then again, explain to me why when im overseas people are soooo much nicer to me whether its a girl who wants to date me or whether its a complete stranger or a bunch of guys that want to go clubbing? Why is it that when i pull my (comparatively mild) canadian ways on them they think im a prick and yet it works here perfectly fine?

I dont think its human nature at all.

Posted by Spam on Mar-11-2005 20:40:

quote:
Originally posted by Jayx1
Hmmmm well where i have travelled and lived the asshole act never works out that well. Even by pulling the 4 day wait to call her act you are showing that you arent interested and she will move on. Believe me i had to change my ways quite fast whenever i travelled. I dont like the game in Canada but sadly i am forced to play it along with everyone else.

Only 4 days? I wait a week!

Being a nice guy is fine and all, but you can't be a pushover either. Girls are attracted to jerks and bad-boys because they are confident and respect themselves, too many nice guys these days have no self-esteem and will do anything a woman asks, which is no way to build respect.

Posted by starsearcher on Mar-11-2005 20:41:

I don't know man...possibly it's cause you were more or less a tourist and there could be so many reasons. I'm sure that when people come here they are being treated nicely as well...most people that come for the first time to canada think so highly of it but then after living here for a while change their mind...it's quite different when you travel and actually live somewhere...

But the fact of the matter is there's nothing wrong with being nice but you have to know how to be tough, get what you want, and when to put your foot down and be an asshole. Being nice won't get you anywhere in this life (and not just in canada but anywhere). Look at all the super successful people in the world...I guarantee you that none of them got to where they are by being nice.

You have to be tough otherwise you can't survive - survival of the fittest

Edit

You have to be tough because if you're not someone else will be and while you are busy being nice someone else will be moving ahead of you

and sorry about the long essay there.

Posted by Jayx1 on Mar-11-2005 20:46:

the tourist thing is a possibility but i actually took the time to live and get to know people in some those places and these people treated everyone the same, not just me.

And a lot of tourists that i have met here have asked me what was up with people here, especially the girls. I used to spend a lot of time at the global village backpackers and the complaints were usually the same. ie) why is everyone so afraid of everyone else around here? (interesting how they saw it)

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