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-- my parents are getting divorced
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man all this storm chasing is making me feel lonely

btw my parents havent remarried... my dad and his gf bought a house like... gosh, 10 years ago, they have been going out for like 12 years. They are both lawyers, though she is just a lowly county prosecutor that does DUI and other traffic infractions. She doesn't want kids and he doesn't want anymore, they just hob-knob and do the social BS that my mom hated.

My mom has had a couple boyfriends since, but never any that lasted that long. Kinda feel bad for her, but whatever, she is more driven by her education than any sort of romantic pursuits. I think I got my apathy for relationships from her.

how's your mom mentally now? did she ever find a new source of happiness?

quote:

Originally posted by nchs09 2006 hopefully i never have to go through something like this.

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Originally posted by nchs09 2009 Divorce sucks.. my parents got divorced a year or 2 ago....

whoaaaaaaa

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Originally posted by hundred i don't have much to say other than thanks for the interesting read whoaaaaaaa

lol good catch.

It sucks because alot of my friends are married and the lot of them hate it. Yesterday my buddy was on the phone while we were in the smoke pit then hangs up and is like, don't get married.

I have lost all interest to get married. It kind of sucks, or does it? I dunno.

My parents got divorced when I was 12 or 13, a year after that was propably the happiest time I had with the family living with my dad and with my sister and brother, then he got remarreid and declared that his new wife is the most important thing for him, and we come second. Cool ehh?

Assuming this is still about your parents and not something else:

I'm sorry to hear that. My parents got divorced 6-7 years ago. I was 17 (and a little hungover) when my mom told me they're not doing well, and might get a divorce. I almost threw up when she told me, it felt so bad. They were married for 20-25 years, don't know exactly.

What made it easier for me was that my mom moved only about 1 km away, because my little brother was only 6 at the time. Otherwise my dad would have moved ~50 km away, closer to his office. Still, I got a little depressed and didn't care about much. It was the last year of school too, so my grades dropped. Not good.


But don't worry. It will take a while, but you'll get over it.

*kisses and hugs*

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Originally posted by Ian I didn't read any new replies, or any nou ones

ok i kinda lol'd at that

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Originally posted by squirrelly Ouch Will, that sucks. Looks like you didn't know before that your dad left her for another woman, huh? When did you find out?

this is actually how i found out that my folks were splitting:

i was in Chicago visiting them after I had graduated college. we had my graduation party w/ both sides of the family and everything, and a i had a few nights left in town.

well, the night before i was supposed to drive back to Iowa to collect all the things i was bringing with me to Active Duty, my dad never came home.

So the morning after, i wake leave my mom (we shed a tear). and i called up my dad at work and said, "hey, i'm leaving to go start my career.....soo...bye?" and he says this weird sob story about how he got drunk at a work party and wouldn't be able to drive home.

so i drive back to Iowa - the next day, pack up all my shit; pretty much get ready to leave and my mom sent me an email saying dad had left her; then my dad called me and said he was leaving.

So here we are: i just left my mom, my dad just left my mom, and i'm now living in Montgomery Alabama (first assignment/TDY before i moved to Shreveport).

I never really knew what was going on at home before all this, because i was at school out at Iowa State. my folks had a rough patch when i was in high school (to the point i almost ran away); but both said that things were good while i was at college.

then my mom had her surgery, never recovered, and apparently "in sickness and in health" didn't mean anything anymore to my dad. they were supposed to go to Ireland for their 25th wedding anniversary. that was cancelled because of my mom's surgery. i guess shortly afterwards, my dad started "losing the love" and found it in an employee at work.

quote:

Originally posted by Joss Weatherby btw my parents havent remarried... my dad and his gf bought a house like... gosh, 10 years ago, they have been going out for like 12 years. They are both lawyers, though she is just a lowly county prosecutor that does DUI and other traffic infractions. She doesn't want kids and he doesn't want anymore, they just hob-knob and do the social BS that my mom hated. My mom has had a couple boyfriends since, but never any that lasted that long. Kinda feel bad for her, but whatever, she is more driven by her education than any sort of romantic pursuits. I think I got my apathy for relationships from her.

my dad is now marrying this chick he's known for about 4 years now (keep in mind, my folks officially split 3 years ago...). my mom's still seeing a therapist for all this. she'll never remarry; and chances are she won't even ever date. her life is too complicated that she doesn't want to involve someone else. plus she's a hermit and everything scares her; so she barely goes outside.

you all want to know the kicker on top of all things?

if my mom doesn't get a sweet deal from the divorce (which, last i heard, she isn't); she won't be able to live at the ghetto piece of shit place she lives in now (the one my dad and her moved into and then he left like 7 months later); she doesn't have much family left in chicago and she can't work (Again because of chronic pain from surgery she didn't recover from -- it wasn't a botched surgery, so she can't sue the DR, its just her body scarred really bad internally), so guess where's she's moving? yeah, in with me.

awesome.

Ok I'm totally gonna sound like a bitch here

but

suck it up. You know how many years your mom took care of you and let you live with her and whatnot - time for you to step up and do it too. She took care of you your whole life, now it's time for you to take care of her.

Don't worry, it's bonus points as far as girls are concerned.

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Originally posted by squirrelly Ok I'm totally gonna sound like a bitch here but suck it up. You know how many years your mom took care of you and let you live with her and whatnot - time for you to step up and do it too. She took care of you your whole life, now it's time for you to take care of her. Don't worry, it's bonus points as far as girls are concerned.

I agree with Sara, you need to be there for your mom.

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly Ok I'm totally gonna sound like a bitch here but suck it up. You know how many years your mom took care of you and let you live with her and whatnot - time for you to step up and do it too. She took care of you your whole life, now it's time for you to take care of her. Don't worry, it's bonus points as far as girls are concerned.

I'm not too concerned , really , with her moving in with me. this is what i'm worried about : that she's going to follow me the rest of her life. I'm cool with helping her out for a little while; and in reality it will help both of us financially as well.

and i feel bad for even thinking it; but i mean, really...i just don't want her living with me the rest of my life you know?

yeah but I mean, you never know what's gonna happen you know? Maybe you'll marry a baller and you guys can give her an apt and then have your own home.

Besides, your dad is required to pay alimony

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly yeah but I mean, you never know what's gonna happen you know? Maybe you'll marry a baller and you guys can give her an apt and then have your own home. Besides, your dad is required to pay alimony

i know. and i'll be there for her. i've been doing it so far over the past three years anyway.

the last settlement i heard from my mom was $1500 a month from my dad. for 10 years. that's it.

oh, and he wants to put that place she's living in up for sale. and if the selling price is less than what its worth, he wants her to pay the part of the mortgage that is "under".

she wants her name off the place; but since she signed it while married, even after divorce, she can't just "unsign it". so even if she moves in with me, her name will still be legally attached to the ghetto condo.

oh, and she's responsible for insurance and taxes on the place too.

you can get an apt for like 650$ (a 1 bedroom) why doesn't she do that?

not in chicagoland you can't.

unless you want to REALLY live in the ghetto. she's a 53 year old crippling white lady. she won't survive in any place that goes for $650 a month.

not to sound like a racist or anything; but she just won't.

quote:

Originally posted by hundred how's your mom mentally now? did she ever find a new source of happiness? whoaaaaaaa

wow nchos, that sucks ass. it's like you kinda predicted it.

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Originally posted by Rose wow nchos, that sucks ass. it's like you kinda predicted it.

yeah, i have to admit man, that's pretty creepy.

Had to deal with two divorces.(3 and 18 years old) Being older helps with understanding and your own life to deal with. Its hard but once they are both happy again it will help with healing, it just takes time.

tl;dr

is mom still single?

Re: Its not too late

quote:

Originally posted by ******** Hey, IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET... What you need to do is get them both drunk and drop some spanish fly etc.. into their drinks etc.. you could rekindle their love and passions... remind them of the love they once had, maybe slip on a porno... you know get them in the mood.

No words....just....no words.

Clearly, your mom just wasn't putting out.

I'm really not even kidding.

See, kids, when you don't use it, you lose it.

And if the previous generation was called Gen X, I'm vying for my generation to be referred to as the divorce/Ritalin/Zoloft/repeat generation.

//And I was really hoping this was the re-hashed thread from years ago when D-res announced his parents were getting divorced and Arbiter told him it was his fault.

quote:

Originally posted by Chris Crossland It sucks because alot of my friends are married and the lot of them hate it. Yesterday my buddy was on the phone while we were in the smoke pit then hangs up and is like, don't get married. I have lost all interest to get married. It kind of sucks, or does it? I dunno.

I hate hearing that. I think a lot of people get married to the wrong people. I also believe that they knew it when they married them, just decided to ignore it because of fear of leaving the person or being alone.

The case with TB is a little bit different, but all those couples that get married and divorced in less than 3 or 8 years - those problems were there BEFORE you got married. Quit trying to stop people from making the right decision, just because you made a mistake.

quote:

Originally posted by Sunsnail I was 10 years old. I dealt with it fine I guess. Time heals if you're down

There's no way a 10 year old can possibly comprehend the seriousness of the situation the way someone in their twenties can, so the emotional impact will not be the same

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