What makes sleeping with someone else while in a relationship wrong?

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-- What makes sleeping with someone else while in a relationship wrong?
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Posted by IpLaYWiTLiGhTs on Jan-31-2007 22:20:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee

hey didn't you say something about having a bike down here? like a motorcycle?

dude she wants to ride your bike !

Posted by jdat on Jan-31-2007 22:41:

quote:
Originally posted by HardTranceProd
On the contrary. This is a very interesting thread and I completely agree with the author...

To many people, having sex equals being in love, but not all. Also, I've noticed there is a difference in how Americans approach this topic vs. Europeans. People in North America seem to have very idealistic, romantic view of sex and relationships, while Europeans are much more pragmatic. I know for a fact that many wives in Germany send their husbands to prostitutes (BTW completely legal in Europe) when they're "not in the mood".

rofl some of the stuff you say is simply incredible.

Myself I don't view sex as the ultimate link two people can have between them but it is by truly knowing them and love ( oh sh*t I dropped the word! ) that you are both connected.

Perhaps you are in favor of open relationships but most of the modern world does not but things are different for some people. As such I don't think it's wise to assume your partner will automatically agree to you sleeping around, this is an agreement you have to have.

Seeing you are so amazed at the barbaric ways of the north american people what do you view as a relationship? What exclusivity does it bring?
What makes the difference between a relationship/marriage and a friend?
I have already asked this question earlier in the thread but somehow no one that is in favor of dickin' around is answering.

Taking into account your improper account of the use of the prostitute market in Germany is really a terrible example. If a wife does what you suggested she isn't letting him be free, she's pointing him in the direction she allows him to take.
Also the market there is not widespread throughout Germany as you are suggesting. There is what is called a sex belt in a certain part of the country and the rest has little to nothing in the way of sex commerce.

Posted by l�cid on Jan-31-2007 23:00:

quote:
Originally posted by IpLaYWiTLiGhTs
haha...and what's YOUR opinion?

heh.. usually i'm the first one to jump all over the sex/relationship threads, but everyone here pretty much covered everything i would've said.

but my opinion? yeah, it's wrong. most people associate sex with love (well maybe not always love, but usually some form of attraction or infatuation is required), and if you're already in a relationship with someone, it's disrespectful to seek those feelings outside of the relationship. i'm aware that some people are able to have sexual encounters with no emotions involved whatsoever, but that's all it is - a wham bam thank you ma'am... and i think the majority of us are looking for sexual relationships with more substance, more intimacy, more gratification. it's a lot easier to find that satisfaction when you're with someone exclusively. you get to know them inside and out (pun intended) and, as long as you do it right (experimenting / spontaneity / keeping things fresh), it just becomes one of the many aspects that keeps your relationship exciting and it also facilitates a closeness that goes far beyond friendship... and personally that's worth way more to me than a bunch of random NSA casual encounters.

Posted by eRRaTiK on Jan-31-2007 23:02:

quote:
Originally posted by prolikewhoa
what the hell is the point of being in a relationship if you're going to sleep with other people?

The partner supplies the emotional side (or the stability), the others the excitement and thrill of doing things the partner may have no interest in. Some people also get off on the risk of getting caught.

I'm not justifying cheating btw, but people can stray if the physical excitement/romance in their relationships starts to disappear (working/away from home too much, kids come in the picture -> growing apart)

People need to invest as much time in developing their relationships as they do in other aspects of their lives. Sadly, it doesn't always happen.

Posted by TheWhiteQueen on Jan-31-2007 23:14:

quote:
Originally posted by CrazedOut
Hm there's a specific word for this, where one loves many at once and stays committed to them... I forgot, read an article on something like this a while ago.

Polyamory. Basically people who are polyamorus believe that love isn't something that you give away and then don't have anymore. Also, why should how you feel about one person affect how you feel about another person. People can have more than one child and love them all equally. Basically a good analogy is that love isn't like chalk. If I have a stick of chalk and I give it to someone, now I don't have chalk anymore, that person has it. If I split my chalk in half then the two people each have less. But with love, the more I give the more I have and there's no reason more more than one person can't have exactly the same amount of love and tons of it.

Also, sex is totally not connected to love at all IMO. You can fuck without loving and love without fucking.

Posted by dallastar on Jan-31-2007 23:20:

Re: Re: Re: What makes sleeping with someone else while in a relationship wrong?

quote:
Originally posted by eckmek
well, why not?

Posted by l�cid on Jan-31-2007 23:23:

quote:
Originally posted by TheWhiteQueen
Also, sex is totally not connected to love at all IMO. You can fuck without loving and love without fucking.

wouldn't you say that's it's generally more fulfilling when the 2 are combined?

if not... i can't wait to hear mezzir's opinion on the subject.

Posted by mezzir on Jan-31-2007 23:27:

quote:
Originally posted by l�cid
wouldn't you say that's it's generally more fulfilling when the 2 are combined?

if not... i can't wait to hear mezzir's opinion on the subject.

lol yeah i'm gonna wait for her response to that before i say anythign

Posted by TheWhiteQueen on Jan-31-2007 23:36:

Posted by mezzir on Jan-31-2007 23:45:

quote:
Originally posted by TheWhiteQueen
lol. I love mez, I also love fucking mez.

pretty much sums it up

Posted by tribu on Feb-01-2007 01:32:

Jesus christ IPlay......i havent seen you in at least 2 years

Posted by IpLaYWiTLiGhTs on Feb-01-2007 01:43:

quote:
Originally posted by tribu
Jesus christ IPlay......i havent seen you in at least 2 years

Hehe, took a break from the EDM scene after trance turned into the new style Armin is whoring, quite disappointed. I got bored with it so I started exploring other genres outside of EDM, mostly rock/indie.

Glad to see some friendly faces still remember me