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-- Question for the girls (and advice from guys is appreciated)
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Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie Okay, the story. So on February 17th (a Saturday) we went out with two of our friends to a local bar. We were there for a long time, almost until close, and we all got mad drunk. Like, I havent been that drunk in a long long time. 130 or so rolls around and I find out everyone is leaving. So we start walking towards his apartment. Then he tells me he didnt leave his heat on so we need to walk to mine. Thats fine, its a little further, but Im wasted so who gives a shit. We drop off our friend and continue walking. Im talking about some nonsense (I think it was rockclimbing, actually) and I think hes walking behind me this whole time. I go to hold his hand and I turn around and hes not there. Hes totally gone. Im freaking out. Im wasted, I live in the city, its 2am. So I go to my apartment and see if hes there, hes not. I walk to his apartment, hes not there. I come back to mime, not there. I walked back to his apartment. By this time, Im about to pass out and its 4am. I get into his apartment and crash on his bed in my coat (because the heat is off). I wake up around 8am and hes not there so Im freaking out. I walked to my car and drove home. Then I called a mutual friend (one that was out with us the night before) and then I start calling the emergency rooms. And then I start calling the jails. Im FREAKING the FUCK out. I thought something terrible had happened to him. Then all of a sudden my door opens and he walks in. Im crying like crazy and hes just standing there. I ask him what happened and he tells me that he thought we were fighting about something, so he turned around and went back to the bar, did some shots, and met someone. It was awful. I seriously cared about him so much. He claimed to still care about me too but its very obvious that was bullshit. I just dont get it. He was head over heals for me for so long... How do things change so quickly in relationships?? edit: I should also point out that he came home with brown dog hair on his coat, and it definitely looked like the kind of dog hair that our friend's dog has, the girl that went out with us that night. Because seriously, is it even possible to go to a bar 20 minutes before close and hook up with someone? I just dont get that.

seriously what the FUCK is that? what an asshole.


i say put it on ebay...with the story, just so you get more money hehehehe

Jesus Ang..... if you were my whore, I would never do that shit to you.

Seriously though, sell that shit. Once a cheater, always a cheater and it is good you ducked out of that relationship.

Find a nerd and profit from that type of intellectual/mutual relationship. It may be Tiff's necklace... but a 200 dollar anything from Tiff's is something that is considered clearance from that store. Are you a clearance type of girl!?

Oh my god. Are you fucking KIDDING ME? What a piece of shit. You should have kicked him in the balls as soon as he walked in. I can�t believe that. You must be so confused because of how things were fine and then that happened. That�s the worst...when you�re on cloud 9 and all of a sudden everything just falls apart out of nowhere. It�s almost like having no closure. I�m sorry, but hey this is going to make you stronger and wiser and with time, it�ll go away. It was a blessing in disguise because really, who needs an asshole like that.

My ex ex did that to me one time. We got in a fight and he stormed out to go to some marketing party that I didn�t want to go to and was begging him not to go to (stupid fight) and he leaves and says he�ll be back later. Never comes home, never answers his phone the whole night. It�s like you�re so angry, but then when it starts to become SO ridiculous that fear starts to set in and you are no longer mad, but actually worried for them. Like thinking they got arrested or in a car accident. That�s exactly what started to enter my mind. He had already had a DUI and so I was freaking out, thinking he got in an accident. The only difference is I didn�t sleep a wink that night, I wasn�t drunk. I was crying and freaking out and I called my mom at 7 in the morning because I didn�t know what to do any more and I was getting ready to go to where the party was and look for him, and then he comes strolling in the apt with a fucking smile on his face. I walked right up to him and belted him across the face and was like, �FUCK YOU!� and stormed off and didn�t come home for a week. lol

This was right in the middle of our party days...lots of blow on the weekends, etc... I think I took him back after that, but that was like the last major fight we had before we called it quits a few months after that. The breakup was pretty smooth until I didn't come home one night and he threw all my fucking clothes out into the parking lot like an episode of Melrose Place or something. haha little bitch could dish it but he couldn't take it.

quote:

Originally posted by _Nut_ Jesus Ang..... if you were my whore, I would never do that shit to you. Seriously though, sell that shit. Once a cheater, always a cheater and it is good you ducked out of that relationship. Find a nerd and profit from that type of intellectual/mutual relationship. It may be Tiff's necklace... but a 200 dollar anything from Tiff's is something that is considered clearance from that store. Are you a clearance type of girl!?

Plus, I have to say theres nothing at Tiffany's thats really me, ya know? I enjoy wearing things that are very "Ang" and I havent been able to find anything there that fits that mold. So its not like Id miss it.

I need to find myself a Sam.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee

I used to think I was nuts for feeling like that. You know, when he doesnt call for a long time and you dont know where he is, but you know hes out and drinking/doing drugs - so you worry! Guys always tell me I worry to much but seriously, we live in the city and Ive met people that have been shot a few months later. Thats not something to mess around with, I think.

jesus, the stories in this thread are fucked! i'd seriously hurt a guy if he ever just disappeared and made me worry like that. i mean i've been cheated on, but never like that... i can't believe you had to deal with that shit.

your only option is to sell the shit on cragislist. seriously... i sold a pair of diamond earrings my ex gave me. made $350 and used the money to buy booze for our MWTAOMGWTFBBQ last summer! and he didn't even cheat on me. he was just an asshole.

quote:

Originally posted by l�cid jesus, the stories in this thread are fucked! i'd seriously hurt a guy if he ever just disappeared and made me worry like that. i mean i've been cheated on, but never like that... i can't believe you had to deal with that shit. your only option is to sell the shit on cragislist. seriously... i sold a pair of diamond earrings my ex gave me. made $350 and used the money to buy booze for our MWTAOMGWTFBBQ last summer! and he didn't even cheat on me. he was just an asshole.

lol yeah i agree. us guys are assholes. too many guys are just so bitter but wont admit that they want more because they wont set their stupid feelings aside and make their life what they want.

don't you guys have trouble trusting people sometimes? i mean sometimes i really do. you just get bombarded with cheating this cheating that...makes me really paranoid...

quote:

Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie 5 months. I know its not long but he was really into me. Its so horrible but I wish I could go back to October. Things were really good back then.

Welp, be glad it was 5 months and not 5 years.


I would be devastated if my bf ever did something like that to me. Every now and then I have nightmares about him being with another girl...or me catching him and he just doesn't care. Makes me sick to my stomach.

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller don't you guys have trouble trusting people sometimes? i mean sometimes i really do. you just get bombarded with cheating this cheating that...makes me really paranoid...

Nope. Actually a friend from my program is so used to fucked up relationships and infidelity that she was surprised to find out my bf and I have always been faithful.

It's sad that that's the norm for most people.

quote:

Originally posted by gehzumteufel lol yeah i agree. us guys are assholes. too many guys are just so bitter but wont admit that they want more because they wont set their stupid feelings aside and make their life what they want.

girls can be just as bad. i definitely don't blame it on guys only. there's just a lot of fucked up relationships out there, and people who stay in relationships for all the wrong reasons. both sexes are guilty of it.

guys are just the ones who get caught more often because they're usually stupid about it.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Nope. Actually a friend from my program is so used to fucked up relationships and infidelity that she was surprised to find out my bf and I have always been faithful. It's sad that that's the norm for most people.

yeah that is very sad. one of my best friends is similar. she thinks that every guy will cheat.

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller don't you guys have trouble trusting people sometimes? i mean sometimes i really do. you just get bombarded with cheating this cheating that...makes me really paranoid...

By some miracle of god, I am able to trust each new person I become involved with. I mean, I�m pretty on the ball already, and so not much gets by me, but sometimes we are blinded by �love� so whatever, shit happens.

But yea, I don�t like to let horrible things like that bother me for too long. It�s not worth it and if you really think about it, you�re letting them win and destroy your life by allowing the bad experience to enter your new relationships. You have to rise above that. It shows a tremendous amount of strength if you�re able to do this. I mean, not to toot my own horn or whatever, but I guess you could say I�ve been through so much shit in my early 20�s/late teens that I�ve pretty much mastered �moving on�. I�m thankful for it.

quote:

Originally posted by gehzumteufel yeah that is very sad. one of my best friends is similar. she thinks that every guy will cheat.

I do believe that past behaviour or being in those situations is enough to make people mistrust others. But I also think a lot of that fear and doubt has to do with insecurity.

Some of my girlfriends are absolutely batty about suspecting their bfs of cheating. Their level of neuroticism is mind-boggling.

quote:

Originally posted by l�cid girls can be just as bad. i definitely don't blame it on guys only. there's just a lot of fucked up relationships out there, and people who stay in relationships for all the wrong reasons. both sexes are guilty of it. guys are just the ones who get caught more often because they're usually stupid about it.

i dont disagree that girls can and do act in similar ways. it just seems that guys are doing it more often than the girls.

that usually means they can't be trusted themselves.

yeah i knew you'd say that jenny because i know your situation



but i mean man...obviously i haven't been in a serious relationship in a while, but sometimes i worry i'll meet some beautiful girl that's sweet and perfect, but i'll fuck it up by being paranoid.

i think i'm definitely a lot more trusting then i used to be, but sometimes i feel like society condones cheating and almost encourage it...

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller don't you guys have trouble trusting people sometimes? i mean sometimes i really do. you just get bombarded with cheating this cheating that...makes me really paranoid...

i use my best instincts to surround myself with people i can trust. sometimes you just KNOW whether someone is trustworthy or not. you can get a certain vibe or feeling about someone. i will usually give people the benefit of the doubt until they let me down, or start showing me signs that they're going to let me down. i mean it would suck to go through life being all paranoid that every person is gonna fuck you over and break your heart. you've gotta take some chances and not always live in fear. as a consequence there's always the chance of being let down, but if that happens it's only going to make you a stronger, wiser, more perceptive person.

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller don't you guys have trouble trusting people sometimes? i mean sometimes i really do. you just get bombarded with cheating this cheating that...makes me really paranoid...

I never did until reading this post. I'm texting my wife right now telling her we are divorced.

quote:

Originally posted by Ygrene I never did until reading this post. I'm texting my wife right now telling her we are divorced.

hahaha....





yeah i know exactly what you mean lucid. and honestly i like to think i've gotten past all that kinda stuff...i think it's definitely something felt by inexperienced daters. but i guess you never really know until you're faced with it...

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller yeah i knew you'd say that jenny because i know your situation but i mean man...obviously i haven't been in a serious relationship in a while, but sometimes i worry i'll meet some beautiful girl that's sweet and perfect, but i'll fuck it up by being paranoid. i think i'm definitely a lot more trusting then i used to be, but sometimes i feel like society condones cheating and almost encourage it...

Nah, you know...like I said, it all comes down to your own level of self-worth. Fear of the other person cheating shouldn't even come into play if you believe you're worthy of a caring relationship, and if you trust your OWN judgment of people.

I dunno, I think there would be obvious signs if your S.O. was cheating...especially if you have a very open and honest relationship.



edit: +1 to what Myra said.

quote:

Originally posted by l�cid i use my best instincts to surround myself with people i can trust. sometimes you just KNOW whether someone is trustworthy or not. you can get a certain vibe or feeling about someone. i will usually give people the benefit of the doubt until they let me down, or start showing me signs that they're going to let me down. i mean it would suck to go through life being all paranoid that every person is gonna fuck you over and break your heart. you've gotta take some chances and not always live in fear. as a consequence there's always the chance of being let down, but if that happens it's only going to make you a stronger, wiser, more perceptive person.

Myra layin' down the relationship wisdom as always - I knew this thread would take up a few minutes of your time today

And Angie, that's fucked. Sell that shit and send your ex a copy of the check you get, just to stick it to him

And make sure in the "memo" area you write "Tiffany's Bracelet/Necklace/Whatever the fuck it was."

quote:

Originally posted by RJT And make sure in the "memo" area you write "Tiffany's Bracelet/Necklace/Whatever the fuck it was."

And draw a little middle finger too.

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller but sometimes i feel like society condones cheating and almost encourage it...

i don't think that's true at all. i actually used to feel that way... but i also used to hang out with a lot of sketchy people who acted like that was the norm. as ive gotten older and my friends are growing up and i surround myself with good people who aren't selfish dickheads, i realize that most of them look down upon cheating as if its one of the worst things you could do.

or maybe that's just what happens when you move from NY to Wisconsin... midwesterners are so... nice.

god damnit, guys. i was trying to stay away from COR this week, but relationship threads are my weakness.

quote:

Originally posted by l�cid god damnit, guys. i was trying to stay away from COR this week, but relationship threads are my weakness.

PWND!

PS: +1 to middle finger drawing. SRSLY.

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