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When it comes to spanking, hard or soft is still spanking and it's still wrong. Yes, I do think that people who want to or are willing to hit their child will do it hard or close to it. not hard enough to kill them ( which does happen) but hard enough to scar them, emotionally, for life. When is the last time you heard of a parents, or guardian, softly hitting their child like wind through your hair, or sand through an hourglass? hmm HMMM?? Man, it's either you're naive or don't want to face the fact that this harms a child more than you would think.

hitting softly does not mean giving a light tap on the butt. it means giving a hard rap, only it stings for some time and does not create a wound.

well good luck with your attempts at not hitting the child. it sounds all moral and right atm. But your principles will be severely put to test at times.

pain does more talking than talking can talk.

quote:

Originally posted by Omega_M hitting softly does not mean giving a light tap on the butt. it means giving a hard rap, only it stings for some time and does not create a wound. well good luck with your attempts at not hitting the child. it sounds all moral and right atm. But your principles will be severely put to test at times.

and same to you, trying NOT to hit them. I've been looking after kids since I was 11. No they were not mine but I never ever felt the need to have to raise my hand to them. I've gotten upset, sure, but nothing like, "GET.OVER.HERE NOW. *SMACK*".

Abuse is abuse, I'm sorry.

quote:

Originally posted by SuspicionVandit pain does more talking than talking can talk.

Verbal abuse hits harder. A bruise can heal, A bone can heal..but emotional scars...do not heal.

oh and my mom's best friend has 2 kids whom i've pretty much watch grow up and used to babysit them a lot. they're like 14 and 12 now. but she never once laid a hand on those kids and they went through some pretty bratty phases too. they are the most well behaved kids now. she's an awesome parent. they have money and a beautiful home but neither one of those kids has their own computer or flat screen tv in their room or cell phones. and *gasp* she never hit them either.


and like frenchie said...she was a well-behaved kid and obviously she turned out to be a wonderful chick and she never got slapped.

the proof is in the pudding.

haha i can't believe i just said that.

i'm not saying that all kids who weren't slapped will turn out fine. i'm just saying no slapping combined with sticking to your guns and giving a shit and taking a interest in your kids is what makes good kids.

quote:

Originally posted by Frenchie Verbal abuse hits harder. A bruise can heal, A bone can heal..but emotional scars...do not heal.

that puts the word "torture" in a whole new perspective.

The simplest, " No, you cannot have that video game" or, " No, you can't go to Haliey's house today" can teach the the values of respect, patiences and not being a bratty kid. See, most terrible kids we hear about are the spiled Hiltonesk kids who's parents would rather go out and cheat on the wife than teach their little ones how to be a great kid. I was spoild 'till no tomorrow and I think I'm excellent, The family that Jamie talked about is the perfect example as well.

The people who agree with this whole,"slapping to be a good parent" thing, were you brought up in an unstable broken home at all?

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Originally posted by Frenchie The people who agree with this whole,"slapping to be a good parent" thing, were you brought up in an unstable broken home at all?

nope. pares still together more than 30 years of marriage, no domestic violence whatsoever, all children with college degrees, all well-adjusted normal people. probably the main reason i agree with a bit of violence is because i saw the benefit i gained from it. oh and because i hate children.

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Originally posted by Frenchie and same to you, trying NOT to hit them. I've been looking after kids since I was 11. No they were not mine but I never ever felt the need to have to raise my hand to them. I've gotten upset, sure, but nothing like, "GET.OVER.HERE NOW. *SMACK*". Abuse is abuse, I'm sorry.

yea i did a LOT of babysitting during high school and i shit you not, some of the kids i watched listened to me more than their parents. you guys are underestimating the power of talking to a kid, using a stern voice, following through with threats, etc...

i babysat my ex boss' 6 year old twin boys and they are fucking MONSTERS. one of them kept throwing a pillow at the other one while we were watching a movie and i gave him 2 warnings. still didn't listen and i finally said, "one more time and you're going to your room for the night". of course he tested me and i sent him straight to bed and i took the remote control from his bedroom so he couldn't watch tv in there either. i also checked up on him a couple of times and said, "this is what happens when you throw things at people. it's unacceptable" he cried and whined for the rest of the night until my boss came home lol

i babysat them again after that, and i think he acted up once until i reminded him of the last time i watched them. he was fine the rest of the night. he hates me. lol

quote:

Originally posted by Frenchie The simplest, " No, you cannot have that video game" or, " No, you can't go to Haliey's house today" can teach the the values of respect, patiences and not being a bratty kid. See, most terrible kids we hear about are the spiled Hiltonesk kids who's parents would rather go out and cheat on the wife than teach their little ones how to be a great kid. I was spoild 'till no tomorrow and I think I'm excellent, The family that Jamie talked about is the perfect example as well. The people who agree with this whole,"slapping to be a good parent" thing, were you brought up in an unstable broken home at all?

you seem to think that everything is connected. Abusive parents, broken home, beat up children...shit place for the kids to be. It is not like that.

And no, I've been brought up in a very stable home.

My parents are married for more than 30 years, and my grandparents from both sides lived to see their respective 50th wedding anniversary.

Everybody is educated and we have lived a very normal, stable and happy life.

damn nobody liked my genesis video

it's totally related

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Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN nope. pares still together more than 30 years of marriage, no domestic violence whatsoever, all children with college degrees, all well-adjusted normal people. probably the main reason i agree with a bit of violence is because i saw the benefit i gained from it. oh and because i hate children.

See, I do understand this POV. I have a few close friends whose story is the same.

I think I mainly disagree with parents who fail to communicate or fail to TRY and do so, so they resort to just slapping the child around like it's a fuckin rag doll or a cabbage patch kid and the kid will just sit there and not think anything of it.

i love how the whites are like oh no, and the non whites are for the beating.

sly i love how the proof is in the pudding is 2 people you know.

lol

quote:

Originally posted by Omega_M you seem to think that everything is connected. Abusive parents, broken home, beat up children...shit place for the kids to be. It is not like that.

That is all connected though. Just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean that it's not connected. It is, and very strongly.

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Originally posted by Omega_M My parents are married for more than 30 years, and my grandparents from both sides lived to see their respective 50th wedding anniversary.

Good for them.

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Originally posted by all-nite-freak i love how the whites are like oh no, and the non whites are for the beating. sly i love how the proof is in the pudding is 2 people you know. lol

i love how u didn't mention (or possibly even read) the line i posted after those examples

no because what you usually say is too blond to get through without thinking you should have been beaten more.

Back to an earlier reply (I'm too lazy to quote...maybe I need a spanking), a spank can be "rational." What's irrational is thinking that for every kid and for every instance, simply talking to them, or trying to remove a privilege is going to have an impact. Even more irrational is continuing to try "time outs" and "heart to hearts" with kids as their behavior spirals out of control.

I have a younger cousin who is a perfect example. His parents have decided to take a "hands off" approach and only use tactics such as taking certain things away or trying to treat him like an adult. Now he's in junior high and he's a complete mess. He says what he wants, does what he wants, and has no respect for authorities or others in general. That kid is a poster child for what can happen when parents don't realize what kind of child they're dealing with and treating them appropriately. For every kid that turned out alright without being spanked I can show you at least another (if not more) that turned out poorly.

And in my world a spank used sparingly and appropriately is not child abuse. Just like when I used to get in fights with my brothers it wasn't domestic violence or every time I got in a shouting match with my parents was is verbal abuse. It's called being a kid, doing things on impulse and without thinking, and having parents realize that sometimes a quick, efficient and lasting punishment can be useful.

As far as hitting them is concerned, it is difficult to compare babysitting someone else's children and growing up yours. Nobody in their right mind will hit other's children. They will get involved into too much shit if the children ever complain to their parents. Now raising your own kids ? that's where you have complete control. Besides, the bonding between you and your child is different from that between you and someone else's child.

quote:

Originally posted by Omega_M As far as hitting them is concerned, it is difficult to compare babysitting someone else's children and growing up yours. Nobody in their right mind will hit other's children. They will get involved into too much shit if the children ever complain to their parents. Now raising your own kids ? that's where you have complete control. Besides, the bonding between you and your child is different from that between you and someone else's child.

We're not trying to say that it compares but we still know how it is to be around bratty smart ass kids. I can't ever see myself laying my hands on a kid unless it's to pick them up, spin them around and kiss them out of love. spanking, is not out of love, but out of a mindless attempt to keep the inline. I'm being a cunt atm, and i don't care. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone, no not sorry more like ," yes yes I know I shouldn't be"

quote:

Originally posted by Omega_M As far as hitting them is concerned, it is difficult to compare babysitting someone else's children and growing up yours. Nobody in their right mind will hit other's children. They will get involved into too much shit if the children ever complain to their parents. Now raising your own kids ? that's where you have complete control. Besides, the bonding between you and your child is different from that between you and someone else's child.

one of my babysitters spanked me once . but her eldest daughter molested me too so i think that made up for it

yea you're right but the point is that children do in fact respond to discipline that doesn't involve physical abuse.

YOU LACK DISCIPLINE!

quote:

Originally posted by Marc Summers

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