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-- BF/GFs who are friends with their exes
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It can make things a bit weird.

Especially if they had a long and intense relationship, and there you are trying to make a new one, and they have all that history, in jokes, stories and memories, know little things about eachother that you haven't learnt yet.

Plus there is often this weird tinge of guilt that hangs over your head, even if they have broken up ages ago.

One of my closest friends and his girlfriend of 5 years have split up a couple of months ago. At first they went tog great lengths to not bother each other, but now they spend as much time together as before they split up, and with the obvious exception of having sex, also do everything else together as if they never split up it the first place. I know that one can stay friends with his exes but my friend still sometimes stays over her place and has dinner and7or sunday lunch with her entire family. How this works i have no idea, but hey, as long as they are fine with it so am i.

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Originally posted by Moongoose One of my closest friends and his girlfriend of 5 years have split up a couple of months ago. At first they went tog great lengths to not bother each other, but now they spend as much time together as before they split up, and with the obvious exception of having sex, also do everything else together as if they never split up it the first place. I know that one can stay friends with his exes but my friend still sometimes stays over her place and has dinner and7or sunday lunch with her entire family. How this works i have no idea, but hey, as long as they are fine with it so am i.

Yeah, I have a friend like that.

She was with a guy for 4 years, then broke it off, but still sees him and his family all the time because they are so close.

I would be lying if I said I didn't find it a bit odd... but everyone's different.

I definitely don't care

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Originally posted by Moongoose One of my closest friends and his girlfriend of 5 years have split up a couple of months ago. At first they went tog great lengths to not bother each other, but now they spend as much time together as before they split up, and with the obvious exception of having sex, also do everything else together as if they never split up it the first place. I know that one can stay friends with his exes but my friend still sometimes stays over her place and has dinner and7or sunday lunch with her entire family. How this works i have no idea, but hey, as long as they are fine with it so am i.

so he basically has a girlfriend except he gets no sex from her. that is completely made of fail

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Originally posted by kr00t0n I would be lying if I said I didn't find it a bit odd...

+1 thats so weird

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Originally posted by XaNaX so he basically has a girlfriend except he gets no sex from her. that is completely made of fail

HAHAHA!!! +1

He's gotta be lying about not having sex with her.... if it's true then he lost his gonads a long time ago

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Originally posted by XaNaX so he basically has a girlfriend except he gets no sex from her. that is completely made of fail

Thats gotta be a lie, Im sure they fuck... people have needs.

One of two things will happen here.

Either:

1. You will get to a point where you are truly forced to deal with it, and you (or he) will work it out in favor of the other person in the relationship.

or

2. It will stew as you continue to deny, deny, deny that there is a problem, and it will eat away at your relationship until it DOES become a big problem.


Imagine my situation: I'm currently married (legally), and I live with my now-girlfriend (I am in the process of dissolution). Her and I have been together for a year. She has a 15-month-old daughter, whom I have been around since she was 3 months old. They split up before the daughter was born (maybe even before she knew she was pregnant...not sure.) Her father is a decent guy and is still in the picture for the daughter's sake. So, I HAVE to deal with my ex and she HAS to deal with hers... there's no real way around it. We are forced to go with number one, and so far it has worked out very well. There's still an occasional (very minor) hiccup, but, we are both very open and honest with each other. You should be too (and it sounds like you have been.)

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Originally posted by XaNaX so he basically has a girlfriend except he gets no sex from her. that is completely made of fail

Haha, you know i have never thought of it that way before. I was just glad to see get along again and glad that i dont have to split my precious time between the two of them This is an interesting new perspective on the whole situation.

I think this type of thing has to be dealt with according to the specific ex-couple in question and the status of their friendship based on how severe their break-up was/how long they were together for

My bf works with a girl he dated for 2 months and he said it was a totally meaningless relationship but that they are still really good friends.
I'm not exactly the jealous type but the bitch crosses the line sometimes... like yes they are still friends but him and I will be sleeping and she'll text him at like 3 in the morning asking how his weekend went. EFF YOU SKANK
Or texts him before work asking him to bring her a coffee
I trust him 110% but I don't trust/like her

i hate chicks

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Originally posted by Ania_xox My bf works with a girl he dated for 2 months and he said it was a totally meaningless relationship but that they are still really good friends. I'm not exactly the jealous type but the bitch crosses the line sometimes... like yes they are still friends but him and I will be sleeping and she'll text him at like 3 in the morning asking how his weekend went. EFF YOU SKANK Or texts him before work asking him to bring her a coffee I trust him 110% but I don't trust/like her i hate chicks

LOL that screams jealousy

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Originally posted by Ania_xox I think this type of thing has to be dealt with according to the specific ex-couple in question and the status of their friendship based on how severe their break-up was/how long they were together for My bf works with a girl he dated for 2 months and he said it was a totally meaningless relationship but that they are still really good friends. I'm not exactly the jealous type but the bitch crosses the line sometimes... like yes they are still friends but him and I will be sleeping and she'll text him at like 3 in the morning asking how his weekend went. EFF YOU SKANK Or texts him before work asking him to bring her a coffee I trust him 110% but I don't trust/like her i hate chicks

ME-YOW! Claw the bitches eyes out!

Make sure to video it and post it in the c0r.

OK long ass related story:

Two weeks ago my ex who lives in Quebec was coming to Toronto to see Slipknot and was going to be in town for 2 nights. Him and I broke up on bad terms but became good friends again after and I still visit him sometimes and keep in touch with his family... anyway I hadn't seen him in over a year so I told him that him and his friends could crash at my house the first night before going to the concert the next day (my mom's idea b/c she loves him)

I asked my bf if he was ok with this and sure enough he was... he never gets jealous/possessive over anything and is generally really friendly and likes everyone.

So my ex arrived at around midnight with his two buddies... we all did intros and started getting loaded and ready to go out. My bf and ex shook hands whatever everyone was getting along. My ex doesn't really dance so he was getting shitfaced at the bar and buying everyone shots etc. My bf was shooting the shit with both of his buds but my ex was off trying to pick up girls (even though he's apparently dating someone)

Cab ride back home, the ex starts making loud comments in his stupid french accent "Aniaaaaa when your boyFRIEND goes to sleep will you come downSTAIRS?"
Normally my bf would shoot back with a sarcastic comment and just laugh it off... but he was sitting there all quietly not saying anything.

We got back to my house and my bf took me into the washroom and told me that he hates being jealous but that he wants to beat the shit out of my ex because of all the comments he was making and that he wouldn't look him in the eye when my bf tried to make conversation with him.
I told him to calm down and that my ex was just loaded and insecure because my bf is taller and more muscular than him.

So we went downstairs all started playing Mario-Cart lol
The ex vs. the bf - most hilarious thing I have ever seen
They were both so into it and "jokingly" cursing eachother out

I later found out that my ex was talking to my bf at the club about how I am sexually and that he gave me my first orgasm and telling him what I like and asking if I still make the same noises lalalala

what a fucking idiot
We're still not on speaking terms
I'm surprised my bf didn't kick the shit out of him

[QUOTE]Originally posted by david.michael

Imagine my situation: I'm currently married (legally), and I live with my now-girlfriend (I am in the process of dissolution). Her and I have been together for a year. She has a 15-month-old daughter, whom I have been around since she was 3 months old. /QUOTE]

You're a better man than I. Instant family is an automatic deal-breaker for me. I would never want to date someone that had a kid... too much inherant drama and headaches and ex-dealings. Plus, I have this weird thing where I just can't imagine "loving" someone else's kid as much as I would my own (maybe I could but I'll never find out)... and then there's the whole thing of walking that fine line of parenting. Not that there's anything wrong with it... a ton of people do it. But things like, how much of a rule enforcer can you be/should you be? If they don't listen to you, how does one handle the inevitable "you're not my real dad, I don't have to listen to you" argument down the line? Always having the real dad around your lady forever too... ugh. It's a constant reminder that she banged someone else and had a kid with them. Fuck all that!

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Originally posted by The17sss You're a better man than I. Instant family is an automatic deal-breaker for me.

It's pretty difficult for sure. Luckily for me, the benefits greatly outweigh the cons (for me). This is a pretty damn good person who is nothing less than perfect for me. I wasn't even interested in a relationship at all (neither was she), and we both tried to resist it considering our circumstances, but it was pretty inevitable to be honest.

Also, I am 24 and the oldest of 6, so I've been around babies and small children for pretty much all my life. I already had the "mechanics" of it down getting in to it.

quote:

I would never want to date someone that had a kid... too much inherant drama and headaches and ex-dealings. Plus, I have this weird thing where I just can't imagine "loving" someone else's kid as much as I would my own (maybe I could but I'll never find out)...

You'd think so, but that part isn't difficult at all for me. I'm sure this is totally situationally dependent.

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and then there's the whole thing of walking that fine line of parenting. Not that there's anything wrong with it... a ton of people do it. But things like, how much of a rule enforcer can you be/should you be? If they don't listen to you, how does one handle the inevitable "you're not my real dad, I don't have to listen to you" argument down the line?

This is the hardest part. I'm playing the "father" role but the father is still in the picture (which I totally commend). But it's hard to make sure I offer the proper amount of respect while still being an active party in her life. He's still very uncomfortable about the whole situation and I try to make it clear that I'm not trying to take anyone's place. But him being uncomfortable makes me uncomfortable about it. It's one of those things that's being worked out over time.

As for the "not dad" argument, that's part of the reason we moved in together so quickly. I figured, if I was going to be in her life, I would rather her remember me always being there from the beginning, rather than to just pop in to her life later. I'm sure that will happen at some point though, and I'm bracing myself for it. Time will tell.

quote:

Always having the real dad around your lady forever too... ugh. It's a constant reminder that she banged someone else and had a kid with them. Fuck all that!

That's just something that two mature people in a relationship get past.

quote:

Originally posted by Ania_xox Cab ride back home, the ex starts making loud comments in his stupid french accent "Aniaaaaa when your boyFRIEND goes to sleep will you come downSTAIRS?

this gives your BF enough cause to beat his ass already

quote:

We got back to my house and my bf took me into the washroom and told me that he hates being jealous but that he wants to beat the shit out of my ex because of all the comments he was making and that he wouldn't look him in the eye when my bf tried to make conversation with him. I later found out that my ex was talking to my bf at the club about how I am sexually and that he gave me my first orgasm and telling him what I like and asking if I still make the same noises lalalala

haha... i totally see where your BF coming from. I'd kill my girlfriend's ex if he started spouting off to me about how my lady fucks and how he used to get her off.

quote:

I told him to calm down and that my ex was just loaded and insecure because my bf is taller and more muscular than him.

Inhibitions lowered, and the truth comes out from the ex! Always expect the alterior motives!

quote:

So we went downstairs all started playing Mario-Cart lol So we went downstairs all started playing Mario-Cart lol. The ex vs. the bf - most hilarious thing I have ever seen They were both so into it and "jokingly" cursing eachother out

I'd pay top dollar to see that. LOL

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we're still not on speaking terms

my guess is it stays that way for... ever?

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Originally posted by david.michael That's just something that two mature people in a relationship get past.

Yes this is true. I just refrain from allowing myself to find out if it would or would not work out by not getting involved. Doesn't mean your approach is wrong at all... just a personal choice by me. I like to avoid things...lol. Best of luck though man. If you're happy with her, then you'll be fine with all the extenuating circumstances. Pretty mature for a 24 year old. When I was 24 all I could think about was partying

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Originally posted by The17sss Yes this is true. I just refrain from allowing myself to find out if it would or would not work out by not getting involved. Doesn't mean your approach is wrong at all... just a personal choice by me. I like to avoid things...lol. Best of luck though man.

I totally understand that. And, on paper, this relationship would never work, so I am very aware that my situation is the exception and not the rule.

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If you're happy with her, then you'll be fine with all the extenuating circumstances. Pretty mature for a 24 year old. When I was 24 all I could think about was partying

Appreciate the kudos, man.

Not that I don't still like to party.

quote:

Originally posted by The17sss haha... i totally see where your BF coming from. I'd kill my girlfriend's ex if he started spouting off to me about how my lady fucks and how he used to get her off.

I'd just tell him that she told me she faked it because he seemed to like it

I don't think one should be seeing any ex's at all if you are in a new relationship. Once you have been banging someone, you can't just go back to being "friends" or hang out and not have sex on the mind. I don't care how mature you think you are, it can't happen. The relationship ended for a reason, so move on. There are many many more people you can make friends with. Leave your ex's alone and move on. All it takes is a little fight and what do most people do..they call the ex for the "dick in a jar" or vagina and then their fucking, or talking about it. It ruins any further relationships. I have a friend in one of these situations and she goes out on a date, then calls her ex up and their meeting up to fuck, but she won't get back with him because he is a loser.

your friend sounds like a classy gal
you should definitely align your opinions on this subject with her personal sluttiness

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Originally posted by Ania_xox your friend sounds like a classy gal you should definitely align your opinions on this subject with her personal sluttiness

yes most of my friends are sluts and whores, but the theory still holds.

ALL of my jealousy has to do with her, not him. does that make any sense? i know for a fact he would never cheat on me or anything like that, but it just bothers me that SHE may possibly have ulterior motives and that i'll never really know what's going through her head or what her intentions are for having ties to him still.

it's just a matter of respect for me. no i don't think they still fuck, no i don't think he still wants her. i know these things for certain, but i'm still annoyed...at her, not him. lol

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Originally posted by narcism LOL that screams jealousy

it also screams "disrespect" on the other chick's part. you don't text a guy who has a seriuos girlfriend at 3 a.m., i'm sorry.

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