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-- Long distance relationships
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No disrespect by not reading this whole thread, but more or less the relationship is over. It's the beginning of the end. Time will allow it to fizzle away...

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Originally posted by jastiC u can do better man n i dnt think u should worry about her cheating on u........

First of all, "better" only makes sense within a comparison. And, personally, I don't think anything compares to her. At all.

Also, regarding fidelity and trust, not only we talk, we actually care for one another just as much as we care about ourselves. I'm not sure whether you're familiar with any of these concepts.

Thank you very much for your input anyway, though.

quote:

Originally posted by XaNaX this could be a red flag for you to a major personality flaw. If I was really into a girl a 4 hour drive distance would be nothing. I know guys who are so into themselves and think they are so important that they literally won't date a girl they have to drive more than 15 minutes to pick up

Some pre-madonnas right there. lol

I would somewhat disagree though that a 4hr drive is "nothing" because it is taxing. Not only can you not just call her up and go see her for a few hours, it is now a full day thing. If it was a 1-2hr drive, it wouldn't be AS bad.

12 hour drives are even more demanding!

it is not the commute that is hard, it is the time between the commutes that is the killer.

I don't do long distance. Trust issues always arise, and when someone is away from you too long.... that super sweet person that's always your shoulder to cry on suddenly brings a sparkle into your eye.

My bf & I were an hr apart when we first started dating and it was frustrating, and that's only an hr! Now we live together though, so I'm much happier.

Personally, I could never do it. I can't not have sex with my boyfriend for months on end. I'd go crazy. It's different if you're single and not getting laid - ENGAGED and not getting laid?! Blasphemy.

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Originally posted by squirrelly I don't do long distance. Trust issues always arise, and when someone is away from you too long.... that super sweet person that's always your shoulder to cry on suddenly brings a sparkle into your eye. My bf & I were an hr apart when we first started dating and it was frustrating, and that's only an hr! Now we live together though, so I'm much happier. Personally, I could never do it. I can't not have sex with my boyfriend for months on end. I'd go crazy. It's different if you're single and not getting laid - ENGAGED and not getting laid?! Blasphemy.

remember, PM me if it doesn't work out with you guys

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly I don't do long distance. Trust issues always arise, and when someone is away from you too long.... that super sweet person that's always your shoulder to cry on suddenly brings a sparkle into your eye. My bf & I were an hr apart when we first started dating and it was frustrating, and that's only an hr! Now we live together though, so I'm much happier. Personally, I could never do it. I can't not have sex with my boyfriend for months on end. I'd go crazy. It's different if you're single and not getting laid - ENGAGED and not getting laid?! Blasphemy.

if sex is the basis of your relationship than yes.
if you think sex is the most important thing, then you are probably not ready for one.

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly I don't do long distance. Trust issues always arise, and when someone is away from you too long.... that super sweet person that's always your shoulder to cry on suddenly brings a sparkle into your eye.

This is the exact thing I was referring to earlier.

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[i]My bf & I were an hr apart when we first started dating and it was frustrating, and that's only an hr! Now we live together though, so I'm much happier.

That is always good.

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[i]Personally, I could never do it. I can't not have sex with my boyfriend for months on end. I'd go crazy. It's different if you're single and not getting laid - ENGAGED and not getting laid?! Blasphemy.

Yeah I would be of the same thought if it was like 6months or more between each time, but I guess to each their own.

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Originally posted by squirrelly ENGAGED and not getting laid?! Blasphemy.

LOL

Married and No sex

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Originally posted by UmmiE LOL Married and No sex

that is more normal than you think...don't need distance for that

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Originally posted by elFreak that is more normal than you think...don't need distance for that

Not really worried at all.....Thanks to Palm Ela.

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Originally posted by elFreak that is more normal than you think...don't need distance for that

Damn beat me to it.

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Originally posted by elFreak if sex is the basis of your relationship than yes. if you think sex is the most important thing, then you are probably not ready for one.

Not the basis, but it's damn amazing. Hence why we have it so often

Re: Long distance relationships

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Originally posted by Lira Is your loved one away? Are you in a new city, or has your significant other gone to a different state... or country, perhaps? Are you feeling lonely, but you're still reluctant to share your homemade sammich with that hot coworker/classmate that has desperately invited you to Subway for lunch so you could share your deepest sammichical secrets? You're not alone. I'm going to be with you soon. Tomorrow, at 5 PM in Brazilian time (8PM UTC), my fiancée is flying to Nagoya (JP), and will spend at least 3 years there. I really think it's going to be hard to keep this relationship intact for so long, specially because I probably won't go to live in Nagoya even if I do go to Japan in the near future. So, I decided I'm going to do the following 3 things to cope with the distance: Do anything but live like a hermit: I'm friends with far more girls than guys, so if I decide to stick with my girl in spite of this new context of blooming hotness and potential epic wins because I don't think they're worth pursuing... that is a sign that this is indeed what I want; Keep in touch. This bit is obvious, I guess; Keep working on my goals. The busier the mind, the easier it is for the heart. Any other tips? Have you ever been in a(n un)successful long distance relationship? What was it like? edit: Ambiguous expression was ambiguous.

it�s a rough road. my girl and i have been apart for about 2.5 years. we have stages where our (Phone) relationship is really good and really bad. we love each other and wouldn�t know what to do if we didn�t have each other even though we just talk on the phone. I see her about 3- 6 times a year for 4- 10 days at a time. All I can suggest is try to keep things interesting (Cards, surprises , phone sex) and understand that your fianc�e has a life in Japan.
Hope everything works out

Most people in sexless relationships are deluding themselves. It's not that sex is necessarily the most important thing to us, it's that sex is an act out of the fruition of relating to a member of the opposite sex in the first place. That is, we need sex just as much as we need a girl or need a boy. It's sort of the point.

Some people under the boot heel of abstinent, self-loathing and shameful culture seem to think that sex is shallow or 1-dimensional; that sex is an animalistic act, a base or crude resort of sticky fingers and unsharpened minds - and those people are only a little bit right. And I doubt this conviction fulfills them so much as the indulgence of their unfocused desires would. Pity them.

Lira, you said it yourself - you are going to have to search a bit for what you want. I'm not saying my views on the matter are the only right ones in the matter or anything - it is possible I suppose that this one girl is the one who makes you happiest in life or something along those lines; That the very thought of her, no matter how far away she is, no matter how far removed from your desolate loins she studies and breathes and lives her own life in foreign lands and thinks about sex with you and that one guy in her class today and that other guy who looked at her in the subway earlier and, for whatever reason, that older man who lives 6 doors down from her... that *this* girl is the only one for you. Then I suppose it would and should be impossible for someone like me to even attempt to change your mind in the matter.

Just hope you don't end up squandering some of the prime years of your sexual being idly waiting for something that may not even exist.

I think about my boyfriend's penis and it makes me horny. Even after 10 years.

due to university issues and then work visas, my brother & his fiancee sometimes had to go 3-5 months apart between visits. Even now they work a city apart but see each other every weekend & couldn't be happier, and are buying their first home together soon too.

quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On Most people in sexless relationships are deluding themselves. It's not that sex is necessarily the most important thing to us, it's that sex is an act out of the fruition of relating to a member of the opposite sex in the first place. That is, we need sex just as much as we need a girl or need a boy. It's sort of the point. Some people under the boot heel of abstinent, self-loathing and shameful culture seem to think that sex is shallow or 1-dimensional; that sex is an animalistic act, a base or crude resort of sticky fingers and unsharpened minds - and those people are only a little bit right. And I doubt this conviction fulfills them so much as the indulgence of their unfocused desires would. Pity them. Lira, you said it yourself - you are going to have to search a bit for what you want. I'm not saying my views on the matter are the only right ones in the matter or anything - it is possible I suppose that this one girl is the one who makes you happiest in life or something along those lines; That the very thought of her, no matter how far away she is, no matter how far removed from your desolate loins she studies and breathes and lives her own life in foreign lands and thinks about sex with you and that one guy in her class today and that other guy who looked at her in the subway earlier and, for whatever reason, that older man who lives 6 doors down from her... that *this* girl is the only one for you. Then I suppose it would and should be impossible for someone like me to even attempt to change your mind in the matter. Just hope you don't end up squandering some of the prime years of your sexual being idly waiting for something that may not even exist.

I think you speak mostly off of emotions than having a fundamental understanding of human nature. Sure, human beings are sexual beings, as a creature that both coincides and transcends the animal kingdom, we have the ability to propagate. However, I personally think that most of us have a deluded sense of worth when it comes to our sexual practices (I use to think the same way).

Hey, I'm 22, and I'm a virgin. I'd be relatively anxious, but I'm getting married November 8th of this year. She and I share the same beliefs, lifestyle and have been through various stages in our relationship the past 1.8 years; good and bad. However, I'm not impoverished of heart, and actually feel quite confident. I may manually blow the circuit boards, but I don't even watch porn -- why should I feed lusts that do not involve a person who needs my commitment, even when I do not feel like it (Love is a verb, and ultimately transcends physical realms). Besides, most women (at least the women who I see myself being with) who value their relationships prefer a man who keeps his lusts under control, private or public.

We've done the long-distance gig, and it wouldn't have been so hard if we both were not so busy. We were both schooling (I still will continue this Spring), and she was working part-time and I was working full-time. Today, I only live 30 minutes away since I moved closer to my college and work. However, before this week, we use to live 1.5 hours away from each other. During my online schooling days, I would only see here an average of twice a month (before gas got too expensive). I lost much of my health during this time, and was getting sickly, sleep-deprived, anemic, and the beds of my nails were white instead of pink (Just too much work to also stay up with the Books until 2am or more). That will be me again, once the Spring semester is underway.

In any relationship, sex is more of a barometer of the relationship other than a required sustenance. It's the most valued by-product of a marriage that is driven by selfless willingness to meet the needs of the partner. Most sexless marriages are the result of selfishness embedding itself in one of both the partners. A woman, being a deeply emotional creature, is more prone to be turned off by a husband who simply will no longer work at his marriage and lets the days pass with no willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty. On the same token, a husband cannot please a woman who is unwilling to work through the differences between the sexes, even if there is sincerity. DON'T get me wrong -- there are sometimes physiological barriers in one partner or another, but much of science today can transcend these barriers or help alleviate altogether.

There is no such thing as sexual Nirvana. Talking to one too many singles who are promiscuous and married couples will provide enough testimony to the fact that human beings require BOTH a commitment and a bed of enjoyment. At first glance, it may seem that this is a lost battle; an impossibility or just plain foolishness -- you ultimately have to ask yourself the right questions to arrive at moral and emotional equilibrium. It's one of the many gigs that sets us apart or makes us unique from the animal kingdom.

Nov. 8: That means that there's only 35 days until I can burn my virginity with the woman I love. I believe I love her, even though I haven't "test driven" her. We are both simple people with simple needs driven by a complicated mind. Otherwise, I'd keep my virginity for the my future beloved in no uncertain terms. I am contented to put sex in its place -- to control it for my desires instead of letting it control me. Hunger may control me, thirst, and the need for clothing and shelter... but sex is not to be cheapened to the level that society touts it off to be, in my humble opinion.

I do not loath myself, nor do I have an weird sense of shame. I enjoy life and at the same time look forward to my marriage. That's just me, and maybe if I share my point of view, it might enlighten another or raise other questions. I consider myself that few examples of proof that long distance relationships have the possibility of delivering fruitful results.

Aw, nice post.

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Originally posted by B_man

how often do you masturbate?

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Originally posted by Sunsnail how often do you have fun in life?

Fixed

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Originally posted by Sunsnail how often do you masturbate?

It varies from 48-72 hours a time; sometimes more sometimes less. The longest I've gone is a couple months. It promotes health in some regards and reduces the chances of prostate cancer. However, I'll be reducing this to none in order to become more "in tune" with my future-wife's touch instead of my own. I've read enough about sex to realize that married sex requires a great deal of time in comparison to an ejection. It's about self discipline that creates good dividends.

quote:

Originally posted by B_man It varies from 48-72 hours a time; sometimes more sometimes less. The longest I've gone is a couple months. It promotes health in some regards and reduces the chances of prostate cancer. However, I'll be reducing this to none in order to become more "in tune" with my future-wife's touch instead of my own.

Ok whoever is doing the MTV "Punk'd" with us here right now can come out and tell us the truth.............My head is going to explode plz fast.

???

I wikipedia'd PUnk'd... and it appears to be some sort of candid-camera program. Forgive me... I'm without a TV at the moment. When I did have a TV, I usually watched news, G4, or MythBusters. I not really into TV.

[edit]

Is it really that hard to believe? I'll confess that I am more of a "traditionalist"... but there's plenty like me. More confining value-systems are becoming a thing of the past... and I just hopped on my soap-box because I think that some people would be happier with more restraint. Whether you want to tack on religious or quasi-ethical values on your actions is up to you alone, but I primarily wanted to give hope to people who are in long-distance relationships with people who they love. IT CAN BE DONE. And me, being as sickly as I was, and busier than a beehive can attest to it.

Sex isn't the essence of love... it is a form of pleasure; and improves the quality of life -- but who has total control over their quality of life? That isn't fatalism or Stoicism, it's just reality. How you deal with reality is your own business.

If you truly love someone... you will go out of your way to deny yourself for their welfare. If that means being faithful to them until distance can be resolved... then there is a shadow of true love.

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