TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Chill Out Room
-- Cheating
Pages (43): « 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 »
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Slylee i was going to elaborate on that character trait i have because i knew you'd see it that way. but that's not really what i meant. if i don't like someone, i'm definitely not the type to be like, "oh hey fuck face" or be really obnoxious and obvious. i was mainly talking about my relationships. i've been a pretty shitty girlfriend in a few relationships (obviously the ones i cheated on) and those are the guys who i'm sure would tell u i'm a selfish bitch because they had a horrible experience with me. i didn't love and respect them because they either A. didn't respect themselves or B. they just treated me like shit and i wasn't ready to end it. but those are the ones who saw my ugly side and i was just trying to point out that my ugly side isn't my only side. if anything it's the side that only a few people see. same thing with my mushy lovey dovey side. only a few see that too. the rest just see my carefree, social butterfly, go w/ the flow side (friends). |
I do not think that once a cheater, always a cheater; but I also do NOT think that it is a forgivable act. And that is all I'm going to say about that.
cheated once in my life, will never do it again - too old to be fucking around doing stupid shit, just need to live a legit life and get ready to start the next part of life, living with someone, and hopefully getting married. all of that cheating shit goes out the window when you know you are approaching the age where you need to start being serious, create a stable financial environment, and hopefully find someone worth spending your time with.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by jennypie Yeah...because on a subconscious level, men equate sex with love. So actually, in the end, it's for the same reasons. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by jennypie Yeah...because on a subconscious level, men equate sex with love. So actually, in the end, it's for the same reasons. |
No, not in that way. Men need sex in order to feel that they are loved (on a subconscious level).
So basically, when you don't put out for your man, on some deeper level he thinks you don't love him.
I dunno, I've read it in a few places. 
| quote: |
| Originally posted by jennypie No, not in that way. Men need sex in order to feel that they are loved (on a subconscious level). I dunno, I've read it in a few places. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by jennypie No, not in that way. Men need sex in order to feel that they are loved (on a subconscious level). So basically, when you don't put out for your man, on some deeper level he thinks you don't love him. I dunno, I've read it in a few places. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Moral Hazard see my post... it's not love so much as self-worth. men cheat when they feel as though they are under-valued/under appreciated. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Moral Hazard see my post... it's not love so much as self-worth. men cheat when they feel as though they are under-valued/under appreciated. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by jennypie No, not in that way. Men need sex in order to feel that they are loved (on a subconscious level). So basically, when you don't put out for your man, on some deeper level he thinks you don't love him. I dunno, I've read it in a few places. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by squirrelly although the s.o. not being interested anymore, might be a sign of THEM cheating too. |
I was actually talking about the man losing interest because he's too busy fucking other girls, jackass.
/bitterness
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Moral Hazard Or maybe they're just a frigid bitch! /married |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by squirrelly I was actually talking about the man losing interest because he's too busy fucking other girls, jackass. /bitterness |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Moral Hazard Maybe he wouldn't be fucking other girls if you weren't such a frigid bitch! /projection |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Moral Hazard Maybe he wouldn't be fucking other girls if you weren't such a frigid bitch! /projection |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by jennypie Shut the fuck up, Craig. Everyone knows how you get down:  |
I think the interesting debate here is not regarding infidelity itself, but why some people cheated on their partners while others haven't. We could have at least four groups here: deterministic cheaters, deterministic non-cheaters, non-deterministic cheaters, and non-deterministic non-cheaters. Not surprisingly two groups are disproportionately bigger than the rest.
Most of those who have cheated, on the one hand, seem to give infidelity a quasi-deterministic account: they cheated because the circumstances were such and such, and that lead them to the dreadful act. It feels almost as if it were unavoidable, or fated: if we took them back in time, erased their memory, and they found themselves in the same situation, the turnout would be absolutely the same. It's almost as if you had to err if everything led you to that decision.
Non-cheaters, however, seem to value free-will a lot more: to most of them, cheaters could have (and should have) acted differently. Except, maybe, for those who acknowledge how powerful the circumstances can be, as they expect their behaviour to have changed because of their previous mistakes. In that sense, the learnt lesson is the only variable that changed, and should be powerful enough to avoid the recurrence of this event.
Here's what's left to ask ourselves: Does belief in free-will really make us (or give us the impression that we're) more independent, or do cheaters rationalise their act simply because it's too heavy a burden, but they don't analyse life in general that way? Can determinism potentially lead to immorality?
Personally, I've refrained from cheating in the past. My relationship was in crisis, I met this wonderful girl who fancied me, became somewhat infatuated with her, and I almost made out with her in a party as she kept looking for my attention - all I needed was to simply hug her back, which I didn't. Instead, I just got up and started dancing to drum'n'bass, which must've puzzled her 
Are my libertarian ideals to blame for my decision not to cheat? (Can I use blame in a positive context?). Or else, was it simply the fact that I love fast-paced music, which would certainly deflate the significance of my choice?
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Lira Are my libertarian ideals to blame for my decision not to cheat? (Can I use blame in a positive context?). Or else, was it simply the fact that I love fast-paced music, which would certainly deflate the significance of my choice? |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by kr00t0n |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by jennypie No, not in that way. Men need sex in order to feel that they are loved (on a subconscious level). So basically, when you don't put out for your man, on some deeper level he thinks you don't love him. I dunno, I've read it in a few places. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Yohan i thought this was more of a girl thing |
well then
i'm clueless when it comes to girls so don't mind me!
I can't believe some of you are making excuses or justifying cheating. How?
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.