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-- No more XTC for me........
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Ok.. I'll add my $.02.
I quit xtc almost 2 yrs ago.. this is my story
I ate my first pill sometime in 93 or so. It was 150mg of pure MDMA. Didn't really know what it was as i was told it would "feel" good. Tasted like shit and the beers I used to wash it down didn't help the taste go away. All i noticed was the music sounded a little different and the lights were a little brighter. Had I known then what I know now, that would have been the best roll of my life had I known how to kick it off and "Blow up"...
The second pill i ate was at a Sasha & Digweed party in the summer of 98, that was the beginning of the end, the music took away my legs and gave me a magic carpet to ride around. Took 2 more pills that night and went to my first "after party" which then led to the after the after party. From that point on it was 3 pills the next night and i couldn't wait till next weekend. Thursday night comes and down goes a pill, then another and another and another, next thing i know it's monday morning and I can't remember when the last time I ate food was.
This went on for almost 3 years, thursday night to monday morning, club to after party, to club to after party.
I'd estimate I consumed over 6000 pills in those 3 years. I barely rolled in the end as my tolerance was so high.
If I wasn't rolling I was snorting coke, then drinking to offest that, then eat more pills, then do more coke.
In the beginning the high was incredible as the pills were of excellent quality, over time it lessened and turned into depression, headaches, extreme weight loss, decreased brain capacity, hot flashes, cold sweats and worst of all memory loss. I still can't remember what I had for breakfast. i have to write everything down and have post it notes everywhere. I constantly forget where i park my car. I forgot my entire childhood and only remember vaguley all the parties I went to. I sure remember waking up in jail a few ocassions. It's kind or ironic that the main remembrence points in my life are drugs and music.
One day I woke up with a loaded gun in my hand and realized it was time to quit or I'd kill myself from the severe depression I was in.
I got rid of all the pills I had, flushed the coke, smoked the weed, drank the booze and checked myself into rehab.
I haven't touched a pill since I walked out of those doors.
Somewhere along the way someone put a record in my hand and headphones on my ears, taught me to spin and helped open my eyes to the only drug I'll ever need, a set of steel weelz and vinyl loaded with energy.
Music is my drug of choice now, that and kind nugz..
If you havent quit eating E yet... do it now. It's bad shit.
--Dj EmulsioN
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Screenp2 I got rid of all the pills I had, flushed the coke, smoked the weed, drank the booze and checked myself into rehab. |
Screenp2, I can fully understand your point, but not everyone who takes goes through such extremes as you did.
I'm sure that alot of us who do, do so fully aware of all the consequences and have certain standards set.
I for one have a very specific policy with drugs:
If I ever really want to be on a specific drug, at some random time (ie. sitting at home on a wednesday afternoon wishing I had some speed, to do, by myself), I would instantly stop taking that drug.
The above mentioned 'ie' did happen to me, and I've not touched speed since.
People just handle things differently, and it all depends on the kind of person and the social circle he/she has.
I luckily have a very close-knit bunch of friends, and we keep each-other in check. 
Good on ya for quitting tho 
Cheerz
kr00t0n
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Screenp2 Ok.. I'll add my $.02. I quit xtc almost 2 yrs ago.. this is my story I ate my first pill sometime in 93 or so. It was 150mg of pure MDMA. Didn't really know what it was as i was told it would "feel" good. Tasted like shit and the beers I used to wash it down didn't help the taste go away. All i noticed was the music sounded a little different and the lights were a little brighter. Had I known then what I know now, that would have been the best roll of my life had I known how to kick it off and "Blow up"... The second pill i ate was at a Sasha & Digweed party in the summer of 98, that was the beginning of the end, the music took away my legs and gave me a magic carpet to ride around. Took 2 more pills that night and went to my first "after party" which then led to the after the after party. From that point on it was 3 pills the next night and i couldn't wait till next weekend. Thursday night comes and down goes a pill, then another and another and another, next thing i know it's monday morning and I can't remember when the last time I ate food was. This went on for almost 3 years, thursday night to monday morning, club to after party, to club to after party. I'd estimate I consumed over 6000 pills in those 3 years. I barely rolled in the end as my tolerance was so high. If I wasn't rolling I was snorting coke, then drinking to offest that, then eat more pills, then do more coke. In the beginning the high was incredible as the pills were of excellent quality, over time it lessened and turned into depression, headaches, extreme weight loss, decreased brain capacity, hot flashes, cold sweats and worst of all memory loss. I still can't remember what I had for breakfast. i have to write everything down and have post it notes everywhere. I constantly forget where i park my car. I forgot my entire childhood and only remember vaguley all the parties I went to. I sure remember waking up in jail a few ocassions. It's kind or ironic that the main remembrence points in my life are drugs and music. One day I woke up with a loaded gun in my hand and realized it was time to quit or I'd kill myself from the severe depression I was in. I got rid of all the pills I had, flushed the coke, smoked the weed, drank the booze and checked myself into rehab. I haven't touched a pill since I walked out of those doors. Somewhere along the way someone put a record in my hand and headphones on my ears, taught me to spin and helped open my eyes to the only drug I'll ever need, a set of steel weelz and vinyl loaded with energy. Music is my drug of choice now, that and kind nugz.. If you havent quit eating E yet... do it now. It's bad shit. --Dj EmulsioN |
it's slowly coming back now and i feel more alert i hope that is the case with u
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Screenp2 One day I woke up with a loaded gun in my hand and realized it was time to quit or I'd kill myself from the severe depression I was in. I got rid of all the pills I had, flushed the coke, smoked the weed, drank the booze and checked myself into rehab. I haven't touched a pill since I walked out of those doors. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by kr00t0n Screenp2, I can fully understand your point, but not everyone who takes goes through such extremes as you did. I'm sure that alot of us who do, do so fully aware of all the consequences and have certain standards set. I for one have a very specific policy with drugs: If I ever really want to be on a specific drug, at some random time (ie. sitting at home on a wednesday afternoon wishing I had some speed, to do, by myself), I would instantly stop taking that drug. The above mentioned 'ie' did happen to me, and I've not touched speed since. People just handle things differently, and it all depends on the kind of person and the social circle he/she has. I luckily have a very close-knit bunch of friends, and we keep each-other in check. Good on ya for quitting tho Cheerz kr00t0n |
ok im coming in to this a lil late but i just have to say my feelings on this subject. E is not horrible. its your fault if u abuse it not the drugs fault. e is not pysically addictive. if u are weak u will succomb to anything that makes you feel that good wether it is a relationship, sex, drugs, chocolate. i take e about once every 2-6 mths. ive taken it plenty of times but never in excess. and the reason i take it less and less often now is because the novelty has worn off. really good pills dont come around that often and its just not worth it to me if its just gonna be ok and not amazing. i also have never taken e to enjoy anything except well... the e. i enjoy the feeling e gives me. ive even taken it by myself at home because i wanted to know what it was like w/o any outside factors influencing the roll. and not because im a crackhead cause i hadnt done it in 6 months when i took it then. i dont take e to enjoy a party or to enjoy music or to forget about anything going on in my life i take e because i am in the mood to experience the feeling it brings upon me. and i know that lots of other poeple do too. its not to make music better or make clubbing better cause the music and the clubbing stay the same.. your mood and feelings and senses are what changes. and u also have to realize that just because u are stupid and drop 5 pills 3 nites a week doesnt make e bad. because e is not bad when used responsibly. alcohol is ten billion times as bad as e will ever be. but i have so many friends who talk shit about people who cant go out and not take e and yet they cant go out and not have a drink. whats the difference there? or people who say.. just smoke weed. weed is a "safer" drug but its not safe. i mean at what age where they telling us if your house sets on fire crawl on the ground and dont take in smoke. you are filling your lungs w/ smoke. that is HORRIBLE for your lungs. and for people who have taken e but have been smoking pot all day every day for longer than they ever did e dont need to be blaming e for that memory loss. before i ever did e i was a pothead that is what caused most if not all of the memory damage i have today. there are lots of benefits to e. my personality grew so much from taking it because it opened me up in ways i wouldve never allowed myself to. my outlook on life is different and its not that e was some life changing experience it just put me in a mood to where i was better capable of seeing things in a different light. ive always been a nice person but now i think im nicer because i have taken the way i will act and treat people while on e and i have brought that in my day to day sober life. im not going to say take e or dont take e. thats anyones individual decision. but dont blame e and have a false impression of it for your stupid decisions. does anyone seriously think that taking 15 pills in a weekend every weekend for 2 yrs will have no affect on our bodies?? do we really need doctors to tell us that?! at the end of that 2 yrs are u really suprised that you are so fucked up u can barely remembre your own name? if so then u probably shouldnt be taking drugs cause u obviously have no clue on what exactly it is you are doing to yourself. ive lost a really close person to me to drugs and never once did i feel the need to blame drugs because he made the stupid decision one nite and took just a few to many pills and never woke up. i guess what im trying to say is just know what you are taking, research and know as much as posible about what any drug does to you, how much is too much, ect. because this information is available to you and it gives you the power to make a well informed thought out decision. oh yeah and dont be stupid.. yeah i know some people are born stupid 
j/k nah im for real and dont try to place blame where blame doesnt belong. you may or may not have control while u are on a drug but u have control over taking it or not.
peace and be safe
xox
layla
hehe thats exactly what my friend who is addicted to coke says he blames my other friend for letting the coke control him. I think the blame needs to be taken off people. That like saying "you are messed up for letting something as simple as heroin control your endorphin functioning!". Some people are more biologically susceptible to it. It shouldnt be a judgement on how fucked up it gets you. It should be judgin the fact that it fucks you up at all.
example:
Person 1: YOU KILLED ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!!!
Person 2: Yeah, but I only killed him a little bit.
Person 1: Hes DEAD!
Person 2: Yeah, but I didnt cut off his arms and legs like that PSYCHO over there.
Person 1: The man is still dead though!
Person 2: Yeah, but my murder was so much cleaner. No pain for the victim.
Moral of the story: No matter how mutilated the corpse was, or peaceful the death, the person is still dead.
Moral tie in: Just because one person went nuts off a drug, and the other person handles it calmly, doesnt mean harm hasnt occurred.
or something.
im sure you see the point im getting at
| quote: |
| im sure you see the point im getting at |
[QUOTE e is not pysically addictive. [/QUOTE]
You are correct in that 100% pure MDMA is NOT physically addictive. When was the last time you ran into a 100% pure E Club pill huh??
What is addictive is the other shit they put in the pills:
Cocaine, Heroin, Speed, Crank, Codine, Morphene, PCP, and Ketamine to name a few. Last time I checked those drugs ARE Physically addictive and they are the reason club pills contain 40-60% MDMA, TO GET AND KEEP YOU HOOKED!
Re: No more XTC for me........
| quote: |
| Originally posted by TECHno addict I've been a pretty consistant xtc user for about 2 years now. I've had great times in the past on the drug, but the past few times ive used have turned out to be some of the worst experiences of my life. This is why ive decided to stop doing this mentally damaging drug. The last 3 or 4 times of using, my buzz has worn off quicker, and the come down has been far worse, resulting in me throwing up from such bad migraines. The feeling of depression and emptyness isnt too swell either. I dont regret doing E, since it is the reason i got into the electronic music scene. But i thought i'd post this to other users who have considered quitting, and maybe make people realize you can enjoy raves/parties without the chemicals. |
| quote: | ||
Originally posted by Screenp2
You are correct in that 100% pure MDMA is NOT physically addictive. When was the last time you ran into a 100% pure E Club pill huh?? What is addictive is the other shit they put in the pills: Cocaine, Heroin, Speed, Crank, Codine, Morphene, PCP, and Ketamine to name a few. Last time I checked those drugs ARE Physically addictive and they are the reason club pills contain 40-60% MDMA, TO GET AND KEEP YOU HOOKED! |
Darkness...
It's a drug plain and simple, you don't make it nor do you know exactly what is in your pill. I have found H in my pills as I had them tested by a lab before. I used to buy in large quantity, so before they hit the club, I'd have them tested to make sure they were good, I didn't want ppl like you to fall over dead on the floor, I'd lose a customer. Can't have that happen..
I believe the original topic of this post was about quitting XTC.
I relayed my story of it's use and why I quit doing it.
You now sound like a salesman promoting it's use because your going on and on about how safe it is while defending it.
If it means that much to you then you are obviously still under it's wing. Stay their, keep eating it and when you quit come on back and share your stories. until then let us quitters have our space.
P.S. For readers who want the whole truth about any drug, goto the Lycaeum.
http://www.lycaeum.org/
--DjEmulsioN
actually i am not promoting it. i am promoting the safe use of it. if one decides they want to do it. or if u are already doing it but are doing it irresponsibly. we cant deny that people are going to use it and i just like to help in the spread of correct information. i am not 'under the wing' of e seeing as ive only done it 5 times in the past year and a half. and never in the whole time ive taken it have i abused it.
and no i dont make it but i have had my pills lab tested also. trust me im not just talking shit. i research a lot about what i do including each individual pill i take.
i think that it is awesome that you came out of the hole you were in with all the drugs you were doing!!! thats amazing and some people NEVER realize they even have a problem even when they get to your previous state. and if they do realize they have a problem a lot of people feel like it will be impossible to do anything about it. but i believe your problem wasnt e and all those drugs.. it was your ABUSE of them. your lack of self control, your lack of appropriate use.
e with out a doubt is a beautiful and special drug when used in the right way (i work in psycotherapy and know much about its benifits in that department too) and i just hate it when people have a bad experience with it or even just get over it and all of a sudden it becomes "EVIL" like i said most people just dont need to be taking it. especially ones who dont know shit about it and have no respect for it and dont have limits. which is the majority of people and thats sad.
and about the heroin.. money wise its not even worth it to put heroin in e. but im not gonna argue that u say u had it tested and there was some in it but as far as my research has gone there has never been heroin tested in e.
I agree with TEOD. Ideally, these drugs can be used safely but most of the time that never happens with the users. I'm was not the most consistent user, but I felt the dependency starting so I stopped.
I have more of a preference for natual psychoactives than synthetics now because I can at least know the quality and control the type I want. With E coming from indirect sources, trusted or not, I have no ability to control the quality.
I'd say you want (safe) drugs? Make it yourself if you got the smarts.. :P
Re: Re: No more XTC for me........
| quote: |
| Originally posted by TranceSeeker It's always a shame people realise the bad thing about it AFTER something has happened...Same for the traffic kills....People first have to experience an accident before driving slower (Im saying NOT ALL but u know what I mean...) |
| quote: |
| And comparing drug use.... to MURDER!?!?!?! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Orbax And lets reverse this then. You obviously dont think its wrong. So what is RIGHT about it? If someone walked up to you on the street and you had to make a pitch to them to sell them on doing E, what really good evidence could you give them to make them say " You know what, doing E sounds like a really good idea!! I think Ill do it!". |
hehe
to: theeyesofdarkness
Dear Layla,
how lovely to read your posts. I found your discourse to be most satisfying to read. I think that maybe i think in a similar way to you.
I have found my life has enriched so much since i began to experience rolling. my first was amazing. I went ot an outdoor doof called awakenings. It was a mission to get there but well worth it. I have made friends with not just other people but also myself.
The best was turning up with the car windows down and lowering the trance volume (be aware I had not pilled to trance at this point) in the car. the road was a long gravel road (we were in the middle of a forest on a property near a national park about 1 and 1/2 hrs north of brisbane australia) and we approached the entry post. with the windows down i heard the doof in the distance. it was addictive and awesome. the acoustics of outdoor arenas is something else as we drove on with the windows down we went around a corner and suddenly like the dawning of the sun we were on a ridge top and looking down across the valley to the long grassy hill (this was all at about 2100 hrs and dark) i could see 25-30 flame stick dancers moving to the music in time. the trees had wonderful light projections and they danced and waved in a very gentle breeze at me. the road also later had a projection on it and was surreal to say the least. Later i popped my first. the people i was with made it special. it was the first time i had met nearly all of them. now i am friends with about 20-30 of them. and these are not the same people that you see rolling in a club... much different. infact i meet them in the most strange places. it is like we are similar and drawn to similar things. (last W/end we had heaps of us together doing a roller blade doof in a rink ... that also was super kewl but thats another storey).
any how on my first i was luved up to distraction to say the least. i experienced the tangible pleasure of trance for extended periods of time when before i had only know such things for tracks or segments of songs. i was physically close and feeling safe like i had never known with strangers (many of them are much closer now). in retrospect i believe it gave me a vision of how i would like to live my life... and with every day i grow closer to this. ohhh the dancing and the movement.
the simple pleasure of during daylight going for a walk and seeing the colour... the sound... the taste of the air... the bush is amazing.
it piquets every sense and amplifies the natural beauty.
whoops ididn't mean to rabbit on like this but i guess that this has been a keystone life experience for me.
thanks layla for sharing some of yours... i felt a connnection when i read your words. i just wish that you could be here for fri the 21 of june with the winter solstice doof. the people are what keeps it and makes it and the people are going to be there in force on that night.
if you do find yourself by pure miracle and chance in brisbane next week lemme know and you should come along.
i guess do with life what you will... but take every moment for what it is and make of it what you can. live your life... i love mine and know that i try to be a bubbleing crucible of goodness for those around me like they seem to be for me.
Plus i love your salute,
peace and be safe from me too, love jc.
Ohh yeah i think quite frequently aboput not taking drugs. i even think about the people who i may have helped get drugs... i think about how they may not have the same capacity for safe usage or smart thinking about themselves so they dont get all phuqed up. in fact i do lots of thinking.
i know exactly how people feel when they say the pills dont work any more. and that maybe you dont need them to be at one with the music.
i also know that i am exceedingly fortunate to be still able to have my experience enriched. i am sorry if you do not have the same gift in life. but life was never meant to be easy. you cannot truly appreciate what you have until it is gone. one more pill make the experience no better just the side effects worse.
hmmm maybe i should reconsider submitting to the computer haiku thread like this has got me thinking...
be safe. i apologise to any one in whom i may have caused annoynace by not really having a point of view or for 'wasting' space sharing some of the riches of my life experience. and yes i have been a quitter too. infact i was a quitter before i started.
but still... the world is an amazing place
ftw & atb, jc
| quote: |
| You obviously dont think its wrong. So what is RIGHT about it? |
yeah, I guess I see your point. I know a couple of people that do it moderately and do it to extremes. You wouldnt know the mods do it but the xtremes...wow. I guess its just from being around too many people who started 10 years ago and now they are fucked up because it progressed and progressed and progressed. A lot of friends say dont even start down the path, they used to be like me, etc etc etc. I just think humans have a very strong proclivity to the "foot in the door" syndrome. A huge expirement was done involving electric shock therapy that wasnt hooked up. heres the set up
1) A person who is told they will be either teacher or learner
2) the expiremental subject always got teacher
3) They had a panel of 12 switches in front of them
4) They were told when the learner gets it wrong shock him in increasingly powerful doses (higher switches)
5) they were told that the last one would cause permanent physical harm.
6) When asked 90% of the people responded with a NO to "would you flip the last switch", 10% to yes I will
7) As they go to switch 8 the learner would fake screaming pain
8) they all got to 11
9) 60% of people who said NO threw the last switch
once you start doing a little bit and a little bit more things start seeming not to be so bad. You get used to it. You say "I know I said I wouldnt do 6 pills a night, but that was when I was young and didnt know much bla bla bla". You justify the action because you want to do it. over 50% of the population would cause PERMANENT PHYSICAL HARM for an expirement! Think about what they are willing to do when the effect is Pleasure! I just dont think in the long run you can win against drugs.
Good point
It's just that I want people who dont do it to not look down on those of us who do. It's a generalisation that anyone who takes drugs is a terrible person, and I want people to realise some of us who do are pretty darn decent people.
Cheerz
kr00t0n
Oh definitely. Pretty much every friend ive ever had has done drugs to one degree or another. Drugs in no way means you are a bad person. I personally think its a wrong choice, but we are definitely talking degrees here. Poppin a pill once a month, Its more along the lines of "I wouldnt do it" but if you are havin fun and nothing bad is happening go for it. The time I step in is when frequency and dosage starts increasing. I just dont want to see good people get addicted and messed up
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