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Posted by elFreak on Apr-23-2009 16:22:

people that don't have a last will and testament are stupid anyways.

Posted by Silky Johnson on Apr-23-2009 16:22:

That's why I don't live where it sucks. Lol.

Posted by gehzumteufel on Apr-23-2009 16:24:

quote:
Originally posted by squirrelly
Not in Florida.

Technically, you can be living together for 19 years, have your SO croak - and if the correct papers aren't filed, it all goes to the state and you're out on your ass.

jus' a lil' fyi

Most of the US does not recognize common-law marriages. California doesn't either.

In fact, there are only 11 US states that explicitly recognize them. There are 4 states that recognize them if created before a certain date, and 1 that only recognizes it for inheritance reasons.

http://www.nolo.com/article.cfm/pg/...18/304/145/FAQ/

Also, common-law marriage is not recognized in other places in the world. UK to name another.

Posted by StanVoid on Apr-23-2009 16:27:

so just out of curiousity - if you don't believe in marriage but you've been committed to your partner for years and years, and you even have a kid together and you live in the same house (so practically married, without ever actually having tied the not). In this case, what do you introduce each other as when meeting new people? "this is my girlfriend" or "my partner"? since you obv. can't say "wife"

Posted by boris_the_bear on Apr-23-2009 16:27:

quote:
Originally posted by elFreak
they gain 120lbs and grow a ron jeremy mustache

ooohh. women with visible mustaches = *pukes*
I'm curious how they don't seem to notice it when they look at themselves in the mirror a hundred times a day

Posted by Scottaculous on Apr-23-2009 16:29:

quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
That's why I don't live where it sucks. Lol.

Posted by Moral Hazard on Apr-23-2009 16:31:

quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
That's why I don't live where it sucks. Lol.

You actually do... in Ontario a common-law spouse is only guaranteed that assets in the names of both parties will succeed to them in the event of their common-law partner's death. Anything that is not covered by a will or jointly owned is disbursed by the courts.... so if you've been living common-law for 20 years and your name isn't on the deed to the the house you could lose it.

As for marriage... it is a personal thing and it's only value is that which an individual attaches to it. I wanted to get married for a number of reasons (including religion and tradition) but mostly I wanted to make a very public and definite statement that I from that point forward will abandon my individual life in favour of a cooperative life with the woman I love... that's what it means to me and making that declaration was important to me.

Posted by elFreak on Apr-23-2009 16:37:

quote:
Originally posted by StanVoid
so just out of curiousity - if you don't believe in marriage but you've been committed to your partner for years and years, and you even have a kid together and you live in the same house (so practically married, without ever actually having tied the not). In this case, what do you introduce each other as when meeting new people? "this is my girlfriend" or "my partner"? since you obv. can't say "wife"

her name?

even if i did get married i would hardly say my wife (at least not with her there), it sounds like a possession.

Hey bob, meet my fuck toy!

Posted by nchs09 on Apr-23-2009 16:43:

where are the pics of the future wife man? FUCK.

Posted by gehzumteufel on Apr-23-2009 16:45:

quote:
Originally posted by elFreak
her name?

even if i did get married i would hardly say my wife (at least not with her there), it sounds like a possession.

Hey bob, meet my fuck toy!

And calling her your gf isn't?

just playing devils advocate here.

Posted by stren on Apr-23-2009 16:47:

nice attempt , but ur not fooling me. For a second there I was like "wtf, he's getting married at 22 ?" , then I saw the "bride"

Posted by elFreak on Apr-23-2009 16:50:

quote:
Originally posted by gehzumteufel
And calling her your gf isn't?

just playing devils advocate here.

the word friend does not denote possession.

Posted by StanVoid on Apr-23-2009 16:53:

quote:
Originally posted by elFreak
the word friend does not denote possession.

but wife does? lol

Posted by gehzumteufel on Apr-23-2009 16:56:

quote:
Originally posted by elFreak
the word friend does not denote possession.

Neither does wife. The word my does.

Technically speaking though, wife infers possession.

Posted by Frenchie on Apr-23-2009 16:57:

Tha'ts why he said he'd say her name not wife or girlfriend.

Posted by Moral Hazard on Apr-23-2009 16:57:

quote:
Originally posted by gehzumteufel
Neither does wife. The word my does.

He totally got you on that one, Jay.

Posted by StanVoid on Apr-23-2009 16:58:

quote:
Originally posted by Frenchie
Tha'ts why he said he'd say her name not wife or girlfriend.

and then said that "girlfriend" does not denote possession like "wife" does ... which is where it made a whole lotta sense

Posted by elFreak on Apr-23-2009 16:59:

not really , he has never had either

Posted by squirrelly on Apr-23-2009 17:01:

I thought California was 7 years common-law? At least that's what my family in Cali says.

And I think the mentality that calling someone "wife" or "husband" means that they are your property is immature. Getting married isn't about tax breaks, or money, or what you get when someone dies. It's about celebrating the love you have with someone else. If you don't want to have a party, you can do a super private ceremony (which I prefer). It's supposed to be about you and that other person. I think it is so sad that the term "marriage" has such negative connotations nowadays. I think it's fantastic when you hear that someone has been married for 50 years.

And I know a lot of people who didn't get married, but call their SO husband/wife anyway, because it's easier than saying "my boyfriend that I have been with for 7 years and live with and we have two kids together". It puts much more significance on the relationship.

//rant

Posted by StanVoid on Apr-23-2009 17:04:

quote:
Originally posted by squirrelly
I thought California was 7 years common-law? At least that's what my family in Cali says.

And I think the mentality that calling someone "wife" or "husband" means that they are your property is immature. Getting married isn't about tax breaks, or money, or what you get when someone dies. It's about celebrating the love you have with someone else. If you don't want to have a party, you can do a super private ceremony (which I prefer). It's supposed to be about you and that other person. I think it is so sad that the term "marriage" has such negative connotations nowadays. I think it's fantastic when you hear that someone has been married for 50 years.

And I know a lot of people who didn't get married, but call their SO husband/wife anyway, because it's easier than saying "my boyfriend that I have been with for 7 years and live with and we have two kids together". It puts much more significance on the relationship.

//rant

i'll +1 to that.

Posted by elFreak on Apr-23-2009 17:09:

Posted by Moral Hazard on Apr-23-2009 17:16:

quote:
Originally posted by elFreak
so marriage is the only way to celebrate love?

I think that what I said earlier is true... marriage has whatever meaning and value one ascribes to it.... for Sarah it is the appropriate way to celebrate love (romantic love... it would be pretty sick to celebrate all love that way), not everyone need think so.

Posted by squirrelly on Apr-23-2009 17:17:

No, not at all. I actually don't have anything against couples that prefer NOT to get married. I just think all the humbug about "property" and "useless", etc, is unnecessary and pointless.

Yes, if you are getting married at a young age, or marrying someone you barely know, or it's one of those marriages that EVERYONE knows it won't work out BECAUSE the two people HATE each other but are too stupid and/or stubborn to just be an adult, say it's not working, and walk away - THEN those people are making the biggest mistakes of their lives.

But to harp on someone and suggest that it is something not worth doing because they got engaged, is ridiculous. If two people love each other and believe in marriage and the happiness between the two of them simply radiates off of their faces - why should anyone suggest they are making a mistake? It is really our generation and the previous generation that made "marriage" into a joke, with simple and fast divorces and whatnot. If people went back to the previous mentality, marriage would be taken much more seriously and people would take a little bit more time to make that life-long commitment. Maybe then we wouldn't have as many divorces. But to ridicule the idea of marriage in itself is pathetic and screams selfishness and commitment issues. Also, having that mentality of "it's eventually not going to work out anyway" simply dooms the relationship from the get-go.

Posted by elFreak on Apr-23-2009 17:20:

ever think that this is the cor and the cor's job is to give people cold feet?

Posted by squirrelly on Apr-23-2009 17:21:

I think each person SHOULD get cold feet before they get married - that's a huge commitment!

//edit

I AM a huge, old-fashioned romantic when it comes to love, if you can't tell.

//edit two

and my grandparents just celebrated their 57th year together, so I'm especially gushy!

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