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You guys don't get it. This is an opportunity for the members of TA to make a great lover out of this young individual. Do it not for him but for the many women that he will encounter in his life time. It's for the good of them. So take out those porn videos and start taking notes so you can later on help our good friend here.

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller jason's sex guide for DJ JEM to please his bitch: 1. kissing her. you know how she likes to be kissed. lips, neck, ears, bla bla...if this is her first time too, she'll want it to be passionate...romantic. 2. be "powerful". women love strong men...so don't be afraid to pull her close to you or take control. she'll love it a lot i promise. i've never heard a woman tell me she didn't like men that can take control of them. of course...i'm not talking bondage, i'm just talking be strong...don't make her do everything. 3. foreplay. women love foreplay. kissing is just the start, but don't keep to one thing. do whatever you have to. if you know she likes certain things do them. one thing though...don't be too obsessed with breasts. yes, they are fun...and yes i'm sure she likes you kissing, licking, biting them whatever...but you got to cover all the terrain. 4. move slowly. this kinda goes back to the romantic thing. not only is being gentle in the way you touch her going to feel good to her, but she'll also anticipate it more and more. she'll definitely get turned on if you do things a little slower and take your time teasing her. 5. oral. definitely a good time to apply that slow shit i was just talking about. you got to vary it up to keep things interesting, but slow gentle motions are a great way to start. soft kissing and blowing will really get her going. as she starts to get more and more into it, you can start to do things with a little more pressure...she'll like that. 6. the actual sex. well...you probably won't last very long being it's your first time, so all that foreplay will be a good thing heheh. just mix it up. i'd say stick to missionary and her on top positions if this is the first time because once again...the whole romantic crap... i'll keep thinking...

Excellent post.

quote:

Originally posted by ierxium You guys don't get it. This is an opportunity for the members of TA to make a great lover out of this young individual. Do it not for him but for the many women that he will encounter in his life time. It's for the good of them. So take out those porn videos and start taking notes so you can later on help our good friend here.

he did ask where to put it...

Ok, I'll help you anyways.

Now I'm not experienced, so I'll make some suggestions.

Take your tally wacker out, and pause for laughter.

Rip her shirt of and say "I AMMMMMMMMMM UNULTRASUPER MEGAMAN WHO ARE YOU???????????????"

When she gives you a blank stare whisper in her ear "youre a breakdancing robot"

Then get her to put on the 10 inch strap-on while you put your feet behind your head.

To seduce her smoke a cigar with your anal cavity. When you "exhale" the smoke, clench your cheeks and try to make them say "I love you" It will most likely sound like "BBBBBBBLLLLLYYYYYYY RRRRVVVV FWOOOOOOOOO"

The rest pretty much explains itself.

what good porn could i get? whats it like also ?

quote:

Originally posted by DJ JEM no. where could i obtain some ?

Obtain condoms or pornos?

quote:

Originally posted by trunks1022 he did ask where to put it...

yep

quote:

Originally posted by DarkAngel Excellent post.

what can i say...i'm the white latin lovar!!

quote:

Originally posted by beats and beeps Ok, I'll help you anyways. Now I'm not experienced, so I'll make some suggestions. Take your tally wacker out, and pause for laughter. Rip her shirt of and say "I AMMMMMMMMMM UNULTRASUPER MEGAMAN WHO ARE YOU???????????????" When she gives you a blank stare whisper in her ear "youre a breakdancing robot" Then get her to put on the 10 inch strap-on while you put your feet behind your head. To seduce her smoke a cigar with your anal cavity. When you "exhale" the smoke, clench your cheeks and try to make them say "I love you" It will most likely sound like "BBBBBBBLLLLLYYYYYYY RRRRVVVV FWOOOOOOOOO" The rest pretty much explains itself.

DON'T even read that post!

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller what can i say...i'm the white latin lovar!!

W3rd!

porn ? would i need comdoms?, what are the best kind?

quote:

Originally posted by DJ JEM no. where could i obtain some ?

Woah, youve seriously never watched porn?

Thats crazy.

Do you smoke alot of marijuana? I know that helps kill my sex drive.

quote:

Originally posted by DJ JEM porn ? would i need comdoms?, what are the best kind?

do u want to impregnate her?

quote:

Originally posted by beats and beeps To seduce her smoke a cigar with your anal cavity.

quote:

Originally posted by DJ JEM what good porn could i get? whats it like also ?

Everything was going nice. Not anymore though.

You try too hard man.

quote:

Originally posted by DJ JEM porn ? would i need comdoms?, what are the best kind?

Condoms, I would recommend them, yes.

I believe you're in another country so it's kind of difficult to recommend you the best kind.

As for porno, they shouldn't be too hard to find...

Ask one of your friends or run to the video store.

ok well she is coming over in about hour in a half for dinner and some wine .. what should i make for her to make her in the "special mood"

man if this thread is for real...i NEEEED to here the afterward story HAHAHAHAHa

quote:

Originally posted by DarkAngel DON'T even read that post!

Come on now angel, If you think about it...Shes the one pressuring the guy into sex...Thats right...A girl pressuring a guy into sex. Its obvious she likes to be in charge, and I think that there would be no better way to please her than by letting her do you in da p00per with le strapon.



















Now, if I was the guy, I'd be running far far away from her. But he seems to like her, so he might as well please her.



























PS: Girl using strapon in ur p00per = Safe Sex!

quote:

Originally posted by DJ JEM ok well she is coming over in about hour in a half for dinner and some wine .. what should i make for her to make her in the "special mood"

clams

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller man if this thread is for real...i NEEEED to here the afterward story HAHAHAHAHa

For REALLLL!!!!!

+1!

donkey punch ensures a 2nd date

quote:

Originally posted by beats and beeps Come on now angel, If you think about it...Shes the one pressuring the guy into sex...Thats right...A girl pressuring a guy into sex. Its obvious she likes to be in charge, and I think that there would be no better way to please her than by letting her do you in da p00per with le strapon. Now, if I was the guy, I'd be running far far away from her. But he seems to like her, so he might as well please her. PS: Girl using strapon in ur p00per = Safe Sex!

Well, if she really is pressuring him, he's scared shitless.

But trying to convince him to let her use the strap...that's a little bit......uhhhh.....






I agree with Jason, though. Missionary all the way, then after a bit, switch and have her take the ride.

ok well she is coming over in about hour in a half for dinner and some wine .. what should i make for her to make her in the "special mood"



ok well she is coming over in about hour in a half for dinner and some wine .. what should i make for her to make her in the "special mood"



ok well she is coming over in about hour in a half for dinner and some wine .. what should i make for her to make her in the "special mood"



ok well she is coming over in about hour in a half for dinner and some wine .. what should i make for her to make her in the "special mood"



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller clams

no no u mean oysters!

practice with ur mom first

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