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-- Should the guy pay for the date?
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quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 a healthy relationship means that money isnt even an issue and if it is you are able to be frank and honest by discussing it and coming to a conclusion. Sounds simple and reasonable right? Not with most women ive known thats for sure... But you do find the odd gems out there who appreciate men for more than "what he can give me"

i was out wiht my bestfriend.... and she was telling me that guys buy her drinks... and that she acts like a dumb blnode to say she needs more drinks and stuff like that... and thinking now about it... i dont know i cant doo it.. like even when i go to a club and a guy offers to buy me a drink i cant say OK.. took a guy 3 tries before i finaly gave in...


some girls take the princess roll from child hood too strongly..

quote:

Originally posted by Spyder i was out wiht my bestfriend.... and she was telling me that guys buy her drinks... and that she acts like a dumb blnode to say she needs more drinks and stuff like that... and thinking now about it... i dont know i cant doo it.. like even when i go to a club and a guy offers to buy me a drink i cant say OK.. took a guy 3 tries before i finaly gave in... some girls take the princess roll from child hood too strongly..

thats the thing...they are brought up to think they are princesses and guys give into it.

last i checked princesses didnt associate with "the help" so she damned well better be treating me like a prince

quote:

Originally posted by LittlePoonzgirl I think it should be based on who's making more money. Like if one person is a student and the other works full time, the person who works should pay for the first date....past that I think it should be split fairly.

Whut if the other is working full time now but was just recently was a student and is still practically broke bc all of his or her paycheques are going to paying off the loans he or she is straddled with??

In that case, the one w/ the fulltime job may not be in a better financial situatino to pay than the student who actually may have more income to play with(ie. if they either a) have saved up alot of money or b) are drawing from a line of credit and stil have a large balance available...)

^^^ I dunno, just my thought... although i would prolly tend to assume ill be stuck w/ the bill on the first date, and ill pay it w/o saying anything, i dont think that it should be my responsibility. and if we are gonna decide to pick one person or the other, lets go w/ the one who has the large amount of disposable money presently available to them. THAT person should be the one who pays (should we even be chosing someone in the first place i mean)

~jem~

Re: Should the guy pay for the date?

quote:

Originally posted by St_Andrew so, someone just got pissed on me big time cause i didnt pay for my date's supper (my date didn't get pissed, but my host mum). So i was woundering, you think the guy should pay for supper if you go out for a date?

Doodman.

Here's the deal:

If you have financial capacity to pay 100% for first date: Do it. You've asked a person to take some of their time, and spend it with you - as a courtesy pay for the date.

If you don't have financial capacity to pay 100% for first date: Pay for yourself - and don't stress it.

The difficulty is in how exactly one approaches the date to let them know that they should probably pay the other half (because one never knows what the date may expect).

I think perhaps the best way to deal with the situation: Expect to pay 100%. When presented with the bill say "I'll grab this" in response

- the date says "no, i'll pay for it" say "no, no. Lets split it"
- the date says "no, lets split it" say "ok, no problem, but are you sure?"

In general: Those who fail to prepare, should prepare to fail. Consider every possibility and expect to react to it (in a way that achieves the your objective).

or our society should grow up and just pay for themselves without it even being an issue. I assume in sweden that at the end of a date with someone you dont know very well you just split the bill without blinking an eye or dealing with prehistoric hang ups.

This has been my experience when ive been overseas.

This is why i rarely date in canada anymore. too many double standards.

whoever asks the other out should pay.

Why does this all matter so much? As long as people on a date try and make it fair and reasonable who cares about the specifics.

Then again, I haven't been on a real 'date' in over 2 years and I was never one for 'dating' in the first place. I live with my bf so none of this applies anymore.

There is much more to life than money!

quote:

Originally posted by LittlePoonzgirl Why does this all matter so much? As long as people on a date try and make it fair and reasonable who cares about the specifics. Then again, I haven't been on a real 'date' in over 2 years and I was never one for 'dating' in the first place. I live with my bf so none of this applies anymore. There is much more to life than money!

you are totally right!

exactly which is why girls shouldnt be offended if they have to go dutch.

8 Wonders expects to be paid for his time by the other party because he is one special person.

In all seriousness, I will only pay for friends, whose financial situation I know. If I am out with one of my friends and I know she's has financial difficulties, then I will pay without any expectations. That's what friends are for, money should not come inbetween friends unless that special 'trust' is abused.

With that said, I would never pay for the woman on a first or second date. I don't know you, why should I pay for you, so don't expect it. It should definitely be 50/50, but it may swing either way after you get to know the person. It depends on their sense of morals/values.

Re: Re: Should the guy pay for the date?

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Originally posted by rabbitjoker Doodman. Here's the deal: If you have financial capacity to pay 100% for first date: Do it. You've asked a person to take some of their time, and spend it with you - as a courtesy pay for the date. If you don't have financial capacity to pay 100% for first date: Pay for yourself - and don't stress it. The difficulty is in how exactly one approaches the date to let them know that they should probably pay the other half (because one never knows what the date may expect). I think perhaps the best way to deal with the situation: Expect to pay 100%. When presented with the bill say "I'll grab this" in response - the date says "no, i'll pay for it" say "no, no. Lets split it" - the date says "no, lets split it" say "ok, no problem, but are you sure?" In general: Those who fail to prepare, should prepare to fail. Consider every possibility and expect to react to it (in a way that achieves the your objective).

Well, i was actually broke at the time, and i had to borrow money from a friend to even afford it for myself, i really didnt think it would be such a big deal that i didnt pay for her too, cause im used to not having too... but still, i think i stand correct, if the girl im going out with think it is a problem that i dont pay her supper, then she is not worth any of my time (now she didnt think it was a big deal, but my host mum did, who sent a 1100 word email to my mum in sweden about how rude i was - yay).

quote:

Originally posted by DC- 8 Wonders expects to be paid for his time by the other party because he is one special person.

Way to lay down the law Arney

I totally agree though...i don't mind paying if and when i know the person will get me back

Re: Re: Re: Should the guy pay for the date?

quote:

Originally posted by St_Andrew Well, i was actually broke at the time, and i had to borrow money from a friend to even afford it for myself, i really didnt think it would be such a big deal that i didnt pay for her too, cause im used to not having too... but still, i think i stand correct, if the girl im going out with think it is a problem that i dont pay her supper, then she is not worth any of my time (now she didnt think it was a big deal, but my host mum did, who sent a 1100 word email to my mum in sweden about how rude i was - yay).

ridiculous...

its sad how men are expected to go along with such double standards. Tell host mom to shut the fuck up btw. I dont know her but already i dont like her. I bet your real mom must be having a good laugh. You should post the email LOL


Only a few more months to go... save yourself expense and bullshit and wait for swedish girls. I met some when i was there and they are way more down to earth even on a casual basis than most people around here.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Should the guy pay for the date?

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Originally posted by Jayx1 ridiculous... its sad how men are expected to go along with such double standards. Tell host mom to shut the fuck up btw. I dont know her but already i dont like her. I bet your real mom must be having a good laugh. You should post the email LOL

yeah, both my parents were shocked to say the least!!! but they are kinda used to all the weird stuff that is happening here so on the bright side, when i get back i will have so much to laugh about

im thinking, i should get a date with a girl before i leave, then refuse to pay for her, and then if she doesnt pay for me (unlikely) i will contact her after and tell her how rude she was not paying FOR ME! I mean, it doesnt really matter anyway, im moving back to another continent! just to see what happens when a man treat a girl like they treat us!

and yeah i can definitely see you hating my host mom if you ever met!!! haha

quote:

Only a few more months to go... save yourself expense and bullshit and wait for swedish girls. I met some when i was there and they are way more down to earth even on a casual basis than most people around here.

LOL, true i will... girls in stratford arent very beutiful anyway

Little boys split bills, or get girls to pay for them.

Real men always pay for the entire bill, without complaint. It's our duty. You have to treat a woman like a princess.

quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 No more like CANADIAN MEN should wake up... We live in a society of whipped losers

Hells yeah!

my two bits - what makes a date a "date" is not eating expensive food together, its about spending time together. So many people are convinced that going out for dinner is what you should do for a date it makes me laugh.

quote:

Originally posted by ShadoWolf Real men always pay for the entire bill, without complaint. It's our duty. You have to treat a woman like a princess.

but why? anything including "tradition" is not a valid argument really, men and women should be treated equally, we are living in 2005, not 1905!!!

Re: Re: Should the guy pay for the date?

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Originally posted by rabbitjoker You've asked a person to take some of their time, and spend it with you - as a courtesy pay for the date.

This is the most retarded thing Ive read today.

quote:

Originally posted by ShadoWolf Little boys split bills, or get girls to pay for them. Real men always pay for the entire bill, without complaint. It's our duty. You have to treat a woman like a princess.

No sorry, THIS is the most retarded thing Ive read today.

quote:

Originally posted by ShadoWolf Little boys split bills, or get girls to pay for them. Real men always pay for the entire bill, without complaint. It's our duty. You have to treat a woman like a princess.

You should get the words "WELCOME" tattooed across your face...

quote:

Originally posted by St_Andrew but why? anything including "tradition" is not a valid argument really, men and women should be treated equally, we are living in 2005, not 1905!!!

"Equal" in value... but that doesn't mean we're the same.

It's the duty of the man to pay.


Why don't "men" here live up to their responsibility?

LOL Cal is funny.

quote:

Originally posted by ShadoWolf "Equal" in value... but that doesn't mean we're the same. It's the duty of the man to pay. Why don't "men" here live up to their responsibility?

its a duty, because we made it a duty! and that was back in the days when a man was supposed to take care of his wife financially, we passed that stage now, women work too nowadays!!! a man and a women's role in society today really hasnt anything to do with supporting anyone financially (with the odd exception!).

Its a nice thing to pay for someone elses supper/coffe/whatever, and this is for everyone that is special (friends, dates, mom etc). BUT IS SHOULD NOT BE EXCPECTED!!! and THE FAVOR SHOULD BE RETURNED!!

quote:

Originally posted by Cal Hells yeah! my two bits - what makes a date a "date" is not eating expensive food together, its about spending time together. So many people are convinced that going out for dinner is what you should do for a date it makes me laugh.

agreed - "Dinner-time" was considered a very social and engaging activity in earlier times - some cultures (eg French) still - view it inherently so - now with the advent of Kraft Dinner....fast food......obsession with social life...we have relagated this MOST important aspect of our daily lives (eating/sustenence) to 5 min wolfing down of Happy Meals......eating is almost an "inconvenience" to what we have planned in our days.........olde fashioned "ideals" in a culture that makes fun of most things olde fashioned - ironic why we still cling to these stereotypes - no one owes anyone anything - split the bill - pay the bill - it should really not be an issue of importance and a basis to form judgements......

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