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-- BF/GFs who are friends with their exes
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quote:

Originally posted by Slylee it also screams "disrespect" on the other chick's part. you don't text a guy who has a seriuos girlfriend at 3 a.m., i'm sorry.

I would say girls are worse than guys when it comes to backstabbing and such, so if she is texting him a lot, she probably feels that she was with him longer than u, and she has more authority to do so. I would tell her to move on if I were you. She is obviously hanging around for some reason.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee it also screams "disrespect" on the other chick's part. you don't text a guy who has a seriuos girlfriend at 3 a.m., i'm sorry.

all it would take is for him to put is foot down and put a stop to all of this insanity.

Oof Jamie. Oof! That's all I have to say!

My ex was realllly good friends with his ex (like they talked on the phone all the time), and it drove me crazy - because I was convinced that she still had lingering feelings for him. Well, I put my concerns aside and became new bff with her. Big mistake. The minute we started having problems - she swooped in. They ended up getting drunk and spending the night together. So, yeah.

I personally, am not friends with any ex's. That's probably because they were all really, really bad break-ups. Personally, I think if the relationship is done, it's done. No need to keep it going as a friendship. One or the other made the decision to push you out of their lives - so out you, and your family goes. Then again, one of my good friends is friends with ALL of her ex's. Let me tell you - it causes some major insecurity issues with her s.o..

Thankfully, my ex's always choose to move out of state once we break up, so I don't have to worry about ex drama, and my current bf doesn't have ex drama either.

With all of my ex's, I always had a jealousy issue... and a bad one. However, the relationship I have now is very open, honest, and happy... so no jealousy whatsoever. We've been together a year this thursday, and I've never once blinked an eye about a girl that's a friend, or any girls that call, or any girls that he meets. Reason being: I know he loves me. I know he won't do anything to hurt me. I also know now (after experience), that if he REALLY, REAAAALLY wants to cheat, there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it... so why stress?

get them pregnant and leave them always means no drama later.

quote:

Originally posted by elFreak get them pregnant and leave them always means no drama later.

Your so wrong, guys can't get pregnant, oh wait Oprah found one

no one cares what women want.

quote:

Originally posted by elFreak no one cares what women want.

That's cause they don't even know what they want, lol.

quote:

Originally posted by KiNeTiC ENeRgY That's cause they don't even know what they want, lol.

lol word

i'm 26 years old and so far all i know is that i want a guy who isn't passive/aggressive and who isn't scared to grab me by the hair and take charge (and i don't just mean in bed lol).

quote:

Originally posted by KiNeTiC ENeRgY I don't think one should be seeing any ex's at all if you are in a new relationship. Once you have been banging someone, you can't just go back to being "friends" or hang out and not have sex on the mind. I don't care how mature you think you are, it can't happen. The relationship ended for a reason, so move on. There are many many more people you can make friends with. Leave your ex's alone and move on. All it takes is a little fight and what do most people do..they call the ex for the "dick in a jar" or vagina and then their fucking, or talking about it. It ruins any further relationships.

plus facking one!!!

How can two people make mad love for years and then just stop and become 'friends?' Every time they need someone to talk to for advice, they will call their former s.o. and be like, "well, remember when were in love and this happened and that happened." Gimme a break.......

The brightest future is based on a forgotten past.

even though i made the thread about being jealous with this, i will tell you right now that you are 100% wrong. i wouldn't go as far as to say i'm "friends" with my ex, but we definitely talk once in a blue moon and still have mutual friends...we're on each other's facebook/myspace and that's about it. we have been broken up for about 3 years now, (a little more even) and there are absolutely NO sexual/romantic feelings between us at all.

i'm not saying he would kick me out of bed or turn me down if i was like "hey let's fuck", but i would never say that to him. in fact, i am not even remotely attracted to him any more. lol

also, when i get involved with a guy, i usually dont talk to him hardly ever. but when i'm single, we have more contact. i'll call him up when i feel like partying cuz he's a partyboy and always going out and he's solid when it comes to having a good time.

i'm pretty sure i already said this a few pages back in more or less words, but i didn't feel like looking for it.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee even though i made the thread about being jealous with this, i will tell you right now that you are 100% wrong. i wouldn't go as far as to say i'm "friends" with my ex, but we definitely talk once in a blue moon and still have mutual friends...we're on each other's facebook/myspace and that's about it. we have been broken up for about 3 years now, (a little more even) and there are absolutely NO sexual/romantic feelings between us at all. i'm not saying he would kick me out of bed or turn me down if i was like "hey let's fuck", but i would never say that to him. in fact, i am not even remotely attracted to him any more.

Well it's definitely not there for YOU... but it may very will be (and I guarantee it is) for him. So it's difficult to use this as an example when you're only sure about your side of the coin

yea i guess you're right. maybe i realize that and this is the real reason why i'm uncomfortable with my guy being friends with his ex. i don't think he still has feelings for her. he has made it clear that she isn't even a pimple on my ass and all of his friends love me nad have made comments about her (negative ones)...so i guess i just find it hard to believe that she doesn't still have feelings for him. it would be hard not to, he's a doll and very charming.


whatever i'm just gonna play along and work on my confidence in this department until i have to choke a bitch.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee yea i guess you're right. maybe i realize that and this is the real reason why i'm uncomfortable with my guy being friends with his ex. i don't think he still has feelings for her. he has made it clear that she isn't even a pimple on my ass and all of his friends love me nad have made comments about her (negative ones)...so i guess i just find it hard to believe that she doesn't still have feelings for him. it would be hard not to, he's a doll and very charming. whatever i'm just gonna play along and work on my confidence in this department until i have to choke a bitch.

he's made it clear through words or actions? why's she anything more than an afterthought if she's less than a pimple on your ass? I'm sure you're right and he doesn't still have the hots for her, but a lot of times guys will still keep the back burners alive because it's a slight ego boost to them, even if they don't plan on doing anything with them. I just hope it's not being done at the risk of your relationship

Haha... choke the bitch. I like that.

well yea when we had the talk about how it bothered me.


this is how it went down. i'll try to keep it short.

i had 4 marlins/mets tickets and none of my friends could go and i asked him if any of his friends would go with us. he was like "yea but uhh..i dunno if u will want to go with them"...of course i was like "what do u mean". then he explained it was his ex and her bf and how he is still friends with them, bla bla bla. i was so filled with rage when i heard this, but i remained calm, yet distant the rest of the night. then i cut it short and went home. i needed to cool off and think about it, i knew i was being ridiculous. i told him the next day it bothered me and we had a talk and i got more mad and said i needed some space from him and he freaked out. wouldn't give me my space and was texting me that he was really worried and he missed me, etc....

i felt bad (even though i needed my space and was OK with not seeing him for the weekend) so i saw him over the weekend anyway just to make him feel better and also cuz i thought "fuck i dont want to spend the long weekend without seeing him...or without getting laid lol) and when i went there he was assuring me i had nothing to worry about and that there is no comparison bla bla bla and that they were friends before and he has no hard feelings towards her and that it just feels natural to continue being friends with her, etc... so i decided my jealousy wasn't worth losing him and said i was gonna work through it and everything is OK for now.

but then a part of me thinks, "is it really worth it to HIM to keep this so called friendship at the sacrifice of his new girlfriend's feelings"?

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee i was so filled with rage when i heard this, but i remained calm, yet distant the rest of the night. then i cut it short and went home. i needed to cool off and think about it, i knew i was being ridiculous. but then a part of me thinks, "is it really worth it to HIM to keep this so called friendship at the sacrifice of his new girlfriend's feelings"?

first part: not rediculous at all. sounds a lot like how i would react... furious inside but no knee jerk reaction, and needing some space to reflect before talking about it.

second part: my point exactly

well i'm gonna give it a shot and hang out w/ this chick...see what it's all about. but if it's a real struggle for me then i'll probably just break up with him and tell him that it's too much work and we should probably just cut our losses.

I have always cut all sorts of communication means with my past gfs when we it was over...no msn, no facebook,phone calls,no meet ups or going out at all.


1)It helped me get over shit from the past.
2)I didnt have to deal with bullshit of any sort....I dont even bother with stuff I gave you give it back to me deal...I think its a very cheap move once you give a gift its over doesnt matter how pricey it is or what its made of.

make life simple and life it easy dont complicate things for yourself......If you cant be in a relationship together you shouldnt be friends either.........Thats me and has always worked for me....no regrets here.

the way i see it is if he is super bent on keeping her in his life for whatever pointless or superficial reasons, then there are probably lots of chicks out there he could be with who will put up with it...and on the flip side, there are lots of guys out there i could click with who share the same view as me re: this type of situation. in other words, we could cut our losses and be bummed for a couple weeks and move on. at least i would. but like i said...i'm gonna give it a shot because i like him and this is new territory for me i'd like to see if i can work through it or if my suspicions will be confirmed.

i don't get jealous over dumb shit like some little skanks in a club looking at my guy or things like that. i generally have a strong confidence about myself and i carry myself well, and i expect my man to pretty much handle shit like that without even me having to know about it...he should represent me and i shouldn't doubt him for a second to do so. but i dunno...something about being tight with a dramatic ex gf just rubs me the wrong way.

we'll see. i'll keep u posted of course! lol

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee but i dunno...something about being tight with a dramatic ex gf just rubs me the wrong way. we'll see. i'll keep u posted of course! lol

Dramatic is ok, that's easy to handle and if worst comes to be, it can even be fun to handle. They are easily broken and reduced to a hysterical broken down shell of a person, and how can doing that to someone that wronged you not be fun. Unless shes one of those batshit insane people that pulls out a knife in situations like this. Then your fucked and not in a good way.

[/4.45am relationship advice from a high on caffeine cranky person that hasn't slept in the past 48 hours]

i think you are overeacting.

if you trust your partner and believe him when he says his ex is nothing to him in a romantic sense, then what have you got to be worried about? if she has feelings for him you just have to trust that he will shut her down if she makes some move or whatever.

i dont see why they should end a good friendship that they believe is a good thing because of your insecurities. from what i have gathered he has given no indication of anything for you to be worried about?? seems that its all coming from you.


in terms of being friends with ex partners, its totally situationally dependant. i dont think theres always black and white. some bitches you want nothing to do with ever again, some are chill so it can be better to continue with a friendship.

quote:

Originally posted by Fpcookie if she has feelings for him you just have to trust that he will shut her down if she makes some move or whatever.

ok but then if that's the case, then i want to know why it's worth it to him to keep her around rather than just say ah fuck it, since he's got this great new girl he is supposedly nuts about. why would he even create this whole situation?

they don't have kids together and from what i gather, they aren't like big family friends or anything. she's just a regular ol' ex gf whom he was nothing but disfunctional with and it's only been 8 months since they broke up and she is already like living with another bf. seems to me like he was rebound or something and she just jumped into the first thing after my guy broke up with her.

if i was friends with an ex and i had this great new guy i was dating, the LAST fucking thing on earth i would do is be like 'hey i want you to meet my ex bf, he is a great guy, you have nothing to worry about!"

new boyfriend > old boyfriend...i dont care what the circumstances are. i'm starting something new with the new guy, not my ex.

it's mostly just about what his priorities are and about respect. not about me thinking there is something going on. that's all.

i will be able to think more clearly about all of this once i meet her though (as u can see i'm sort of back and forth about it). that's going to be the deal breaker. i can read people and situations pretty accurately.

quote:

Originally posted by Moongoose Dramatic is ok, that's easy to handle and if worst comes to be, it can even be fun to handle. They are easily broken and reduced to a hysterical broken down shell of a person, and how can doing that to someone that wronged you not be fun. Unless shes one of those batshit insane people that pulls out a knife in situations like this. Then your fucked and not in a good way. [/4.45am relationship advice from a high on caffeine cranky person that hasn't slept in the past 48 hours]

lol yea dude u totally lost me. go to bed!

i am really good at being friends with girls and not making a thing out of it, but i would have to say that girls that you have actually dated that you remain close to there is probably some kind of back thought about "if things don't work out we could start up again". just my opinion.

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller i am really good at being friends with girls and not making a thing out of it

Uh yeah, because you're gay.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Uh yeah, because you're gay.

i'm gay only for your dad

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