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Posted by dance2dabeat on Jan-23-2005 21:46:

quote:
Originally posted by DigiNut
Kelly's a good girl, cut her some slack.

aww thanks Aaron! That means alot!

Posted by nadezhda on Jan-23-2005 21:50:

quote:
Originally posted by DigiNut
Despite the age we live in I'm always surprised when a girl offers to pay for something. Unfortunately, in my experience at least, that behaviour is also usually an indicator that the girl isn't romantically interested.

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god, is it that wierd? i never expect anyone to pay for me and i have offered to pay in the past and it was not an indication of un-interest...actually probably more so an indication of interest. sure it's nice when someone does pay for you, but i'd NEVER expect a guy to pay for everything. i think that's a bit archaic.

Posted by Jayx1 on Jan-23-2005 21:54:

quote:
Originally posted by nadezhda
but i'd NEVER expect a guy to pay for everything. i think that's a bit archaic.

It is archaic and i operate on this principal (and everyone else should too)

When something is EXPECTED its not APPRECIATED and therefor not worth my time and effort to do. Why go all out for some unappreciative bitch who think she derserves it anyways?

I'm a very generous person when i don't feel obligated to be that way. I'm a very cheap person when the expectations are too high and the attitude matches or i feel im being taken advantage of.

Posted by DigiNut on Jan-23-2005 22:02:

quote:
Originally posted by nadezhda
god, is it that wierd? i never expect anyone to pay for me and i have offered to pay in the past and it was not an indication of un-interest...actually probably more so an indication of interest. sure it's nice when someone does pay for you, but i'd NEVER expect a guy to pay for everything. i think that's a bit archaic.

Haha, don't misinterpret what I said as any kind of generalization or formula. I was just saying that in my experience, women who've offered to pay turned out to have other motives (or no motive at all, they were just being polite).

Keep in mind I'm just talking about the first few dates... obviously when it becomes a relationship things change.

I'm not trying to say that it's "that weird" - maybe I'm just meeting the wrong women.

Posted by dance2dabeat on Jan-23-2005 22:08:

quote:
Originally posted by Jayx1
It is archaic and i operate on this principal (and everyone else should too)

When something is EXPECTED its not APPRECIATED and therefor not worth my time and effort to do. Why go all out for some unappreciative bitch who think she derserves it anyways?

I'm a very generous person when i don't feel obligated to be that way. I'm a very cheap person when the expectations are too high and the attitude matches or i feel im being taken advantage of.

No one said you had to feel obligated. That changes everything. If you really like a girl, you'll just want to do nice things for her as she will in return do nice things for you as well if she really likes you in return. Again, it's the thought that counts.....nothing more.

You obviously didn't deserve the way that stupid beeyach treated you. Once you meet someone special...everything will change. I think that experience has just gotten you a little down about woman.

Posted by DigiNut on Jan-23-2005 22:09:

quote:
Originally posted by Jayx1
I'm a very generous person when i don't feel obligated to be that way. I'm a very cheap person when the expectations are too high and the attitude matches or i feel im being taken advantage of.

It's almost instinctive for most of us to behave that way. We'll do something willingly when it's of our own free will, but when we feel like we're being forced, we find ways to avoid it. It's the same sort of logic I apply to welfare (forcing people to pay charity), but I'm not gonna open that can of worms here.

Point being, that's a natural response. We've just had the idea beaten into our heads since pre-school that men are all sexist, insensitive pigs and clods and need to do everything we can to make up for it.

It's not true obviously, and everybody reacts to that un-truth in a different way. Some just continue to believe it like the airheads they are; some retaliate by becoming misogynists and "players"; some just shrug their shoulders and choose not to give a shit.

Posted by Jayx1 on Jan-23-2005 22:14:

quote:
Originally posted by dance2dabeat
No one said you had to feel obligated. That changes everything. If you really like a girl, you'll just want to do nice things for her as she will in return do nice things for you as well if she really likes you in return. Again, it's the thought that counts.....nothing more.

You obviously didn't deserve the way that stupid beeyach treated you. Once you meet someone special...everything will change. I think that experience has just gotten you a little down about woman.

It's got me a little down about people in general. Its sad that there are so many greedy and selfish people out there.

Anyways i'll add to the fact that if it's a girl i really like then this wouldnt even be an issue because the girls i like are the ones who respect men as people and not as someone they can use just by flashing a pretty smile.

Great women also know how to appreciate a great man and vice versa

Posted by Jayx1 on Jan-23-2005 22:17:

quote:
Originally posted by DigiNut
We've just had the idea beaten into our heads since pre-school that men are all sexist, insensitive pigs and clods and need to do everything we can to make up for it.

very true. We are told nothing more than all of societies current ills are the result of men and more specifically, white men. I think a lot of us are pretty fed up especially when double standards are everywhere.

I know of a lot of guys that are starting to have to gonads to stand up for themselves again. I think the pendulum is starting to swing back the other way a bit which wouldnt be a bad thing (hopefully this time it will stop in the middle)

Posted by nadezhda on Jan-23-2005 22:26:

quote:
Originally posted by DigiNut
Haha, don't misinterpret what I said as any kind of generalization or formula. I was just saying that in my experience, women who've offered to pay turned out to have other motives (or no motive at all, they were just being polite).

Keep in mind I'm just talking about the first few dates... obviously when it becomes a relationship things change.

I'm not trying to say that it's "that weird" - maybe I'm just meeting the wrong women.

no the sad thing is i know several people who expect the guy to pay for everything...which is complete bullshit when it's expected.

so i'm not saying you're totally off base.

more people should be like me hehe

Posted by Jayx1 on Jan-24-2005 00:51:

Posted by Jem_hadar on Jan-24-2005 01:17:

quote:
Originally posted by Jayx1
More people should learn to be independant and appreciate people for their company and not for how much they think they can leach from them.

+ 1

truer words were never said! definately.

Posted by DigiNut on Jan-24-2005 01:48:

quote:
Originally posted by nadezhda
no the sad thing is i know several people who expect the guy to pay for everything...which is complete bullshit when it's expected.

so i'm not saying you're totally off base.

more people should be like me hehe

Glad to see we're on the same page then.

I used to be bitter about it but I've mellowed out over time. There are assholes and cheapskates, and there are bitches and gold-diggers. Both sexes have their issues, their quirks, their stereotypes.

There once was a day when we'd joke about these things and it was OK even if wasn't politically correct. Even if those jokes were rooted in truth, everybody knew that they were jokes. Now people have lost their sense of humour and become bitter... it's sad.

Posted by ShadoWolf on Jan-24-2005 04:15:

quote:
Originally posted by Jayx1
why not? Isnt it supposed to be a 2 way street?

No it's not!! It's the duty of a man to treat a women that way!

Posted by Jayx1 on Jan-24-2005 04:54:

quote:
Originally posted by ShadoWolf
No it's not!! It's the duty of a man to treat a women that way!

right

Posted by DJ_Elyot on Jan-24-2005 05:01:

quote:
Originally posted by ShadoWolf
No it's not!! It's the duty of a man to treat a women that way!

I really hope you're kidding...

Posted by Jayx1 on Jan-24-2005 05:13:

quote:
Originally posted by DJ_Elyot

I really hope you're kidding...

sadly hes not

i think we should make him the designated TOTA doormat.

Posted by bluE_Neon on Jan-24-2005 18:15:

Jays a smooth playa!

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