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ok this is my question for the guys and gurlz...pertaining to my girlfriend who just recently broke up with her man

She broke up with him...she moved on and two months later he moves on as in he's sleeping/seeing someone...ok now my friend and him still talk ....she stopped talking to the guy she was seeing blah blah and now she thinks its not right for her ex to be sleeping with this girl that he's seeing cuz its kinda like "cheating" (in her lil world)...what a weirdo (but really she's not i think she realized that she made a big mistake!!!)

...ok i know what most of you are gonna say...but keep in mind that they have a long history they have both known eachother for seven years!!! so what exactly is he doing?? i don't think he's cheating but then why does she feel that way??

and another question

Will a guy who has very strong morals against cheating on a woman/girl CHEAT if he's had ENOUGH!!! like he's pushed to the limits ...like fuck this bitch!!!! curious???

Because she can't let things go. A lot of girls experience this after they break up - they still want to be able to control their guy like she did when they were together. He moved on, she didn't.

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Originally posted by iLLnaDa and another question Will a guy who has very strong morals against cheating on a woman/girl CHEAT if he's had ENOUGH!!! like he's pushed to the limits ...like fuck this bitch!!!! curious???

Yes, although I think it would be better just to break up with the bitch and then get together with the new girl. No point in dragging on a relationship that is in the guy's mind clearly over.

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Originally posted by Cosmic Fur Because she can't let things go. A lot of girls experience this after they break up - they still want to be able to control their guy like she did when they were together. He moved on, she didn't.

fair enuff

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Originally posted by Cosmic Fur Yes, although I think it would be better just to break up with the bitch and then get together with the new girl. No point in dragging on a relationship that is in the guy's mind clearly over.

yeah i think ur right!! But guys who do run that shit on girls WOW JUST WOW!! it amazes me ...its sad but such is life!!!

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Originally posted by iLLnaDa ...ok i know what most of you are gonna say...but keep in mind that they have a long history they have both known eachother for seven years!!! so what exactly is he doing?? i don't think he's cheating but then why does she feel that way??

she is just jealous cause she still has feelings, looks like she misses him a lot, but there's nothing she can do to get him back. She cannont accept that, she cannot accept her helplessness and weakness. So she tries to make a jerk out of him to lessen her own feelings and forget him asap. But there's no reason to blame the guy. He has finished one book, now he's working on the new one. good luck to both of them!

all women cheat, with electronical devices.

quote:

Originally posted by Sasha she is just jealous cause she still has feelings, looks like she misses him a lot, but there's nothing she can do to get him back. She cannont accept that, she cannot accept her helplessness and weakness. So she tries to make a jerk out of him to lessen her own feelings and forget him asap. But there's no reason to blame the guy. He has finished one book, now he's working on the new one. good luck to both of them!

thnx hun....i think ur absolutely right...some women need to be stronger when it comes to rough times...its TOUGH as hell!! and since she doesn't have anyone I think she feels exactly what u said "helpless and weak" lol...funny how life works!


p.s do think guys do the same ??? try to make an ass out of a girl to lessen their feelings and forget about the girl??

quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess the real question here is, are humans even supposed to be with one person? is it possible to love more than one person?

Bam! Excellent question. This is the way I see it. Love is something that we all need. Sex is something we all need. Now the thing is as humans we crave these things in new and exciting ways. The same old booty call gets tired. Also what we define as a good relationship or good sex changes as we age. So a person that was not right for you now could very well be the perfect match for you in the future.

This can be taken 2 ways. The need for something "new" can drive people to cheat when their current relationship is getting tired. However, true emotional and sexual satisfaction can only be found in a long lasting committed HEALTHY relationship. Together you should feel comfortable pushing the boudries, keeping the sex exciting, keeping you both wanting more.

In the end it is communication that keeps it all going strong.

quote:

Originally posted by iLLnaDa thnx hun....i think ur absolutely right...some women need to be stronger when it comes to rough times...its TOUGH as hell!! and since she doesn't have anyone I think she feels exactly what u said "helpless and weak" lol...funny how life works!

well, I would say that guys are not different. It all depends on how strong one's feelings were and what was the reason for a break up. It takes time to get used to the fact that someone u love (loved) will never be with you again. it does hurt.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Question for the boyzz

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalMP btw, that was in 1999.

me too actually.....

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Originally posted by iLLnaDa p.s do think guys do the same ??? try to make an ass out of a girl to lessen their feelings and forget about the girl??

absolutely! it's not about the gender, it's about love... that hurts sometimes.
and I also wouldnt blame this kinda ppl, their reaction is understandable. and not everyone is stong enough to get over a break up easily and quickly.

quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess the real question here is, are humans even supposed to be with one person? is it possible to love more than one person?

That is actually a very good question. The reality is humans are nothing more then animals. We have sex for enjoyment but reality is sex is for reproduction. In many animal species the male will want to spread his seed to as many females as possible whereas the woman wants to find the perfect male to have her children with. Our natural instincts tell us that no we shouldn't be with just one person however our morals and our beliefs affect this and therefore the majority of us will only be with one partner at a time. Humans tend to associate love with sex and sex with love and the two don't necessarily go hand in hand.

I truly believe that yes you can love more then one person at a time however my beliefs and morals would not allow me to have more then one partner at a time. If I am dating a woman then she is the only one I will be with....if I find myself not wanting to be in that relationship anymore and I feel there is someone else then I would break it off before even pursuing other possibilities.

quote:

Originally posted by iLLnaDa She broke up with him...she moved on and two months later he moves on as in he's sleeping/seeing someone...ok now my friend and him still talk ....she stopped talking to the guy she was seeing blah blah and now she thinks its not right for her ex to be sleeping with this girl that he's seeing cuz its kinda like "cheating" (in her lil world)...what a weirdo (but really she's not i think she realized that she made a big mistake!!!)

there could be a number of explanations.

a) she never got over him, and found out that after some time away, he's still the one for her.

b) he took a while to get over her, and waws very hurt when she moved on. it took him awhile, but either he moved on, or he said, i'm doing my best to make her jealous.

c) for either the reason of getting over her or trying to make her jealous, he's been trying to score for the entire two months, but just recently made contact with a compatible life form.

quote:

Originally posted by iLLnaDa ...ok i know what most of you are gonna say...but keep in mind that they have a long history they have both known eachother for seven years!!! so what exactly is he doing?? i don't think he's cheating but then why does she feel that way??

why does it feel that way for who? why was it ok for her to move on, but not him? holy double standards, batman.

quote:

Originally posted by Floorwhore me too actually.....

hmmm...that's very uncanny, in relation to the HA "fantasies" post.

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Originally posted by arek all women cheat, with electronical devices.

You are genius. Damn you caught us, I guess we all do cheat! LOL

quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess the real question here is, are humans even supposed to be with one person? is it possible to love more than one person?

I think people will ALWAYS be attracted to others. Me and my man have an agreement that we are both allowed to flirt/dance as much as we want, but we also have agreed upon standards of what is "crossing the line".

These "rules" gives us freedom, yet standards to which we need to respect each other. It works out perfect and we are both happy. WE are also COMPLETELY honest with each other: we come home and tell each other exactly what went on each night, and the honesty (often brutal) has made us learn to trust that we will know what goes on when we are apart.

we also let each other know when/if we have urges, and we talk about it...to me, since I am not a very jealous person, this increases my trust for him and vise versa, and it also lets us know when we need to kick up our sex life a few notches Its like a reminder for people in long-term relationships to keep it movin lol

Nada: I agree: the girl still has feelings and it tears her up to know he doesn't think the same way.
Tell her: the pain of getting over someone that is bad for her is temporary, but the pain of holding on can last forever

It's a load of shit.

quote:

Originally posted by yankeeBaby Nada: I agree: the girl still has feelings and it tears her up to know he doesn't think the same way. Tell her: the pain of getting over someone that is bad for her is temporary, but the pain of holding on can last forever

HE is bad for HER?? Didn't she stray first??

You women and your fucking double-standards are unreal.

quote:

Originally posted by Time2Burn Bam! Excellent question. This is the way I see it. Love is something that we all need. Sex is something we all need. Now the thing is as humans we crave these things in new and exciting ways. The same old booty call gets tired. Also what we define as a good relationship or good sex changes as we age. So a person that was not right for you now could very well be the perfect match for you in the future. This can be taken 2 ways. The need for something "new" can drive people to cheat when their current relationship is getting tired. However, true emotional and sexual satisfaction can only be found in a long lasting committed HEALTHY relationship. Together you should feel comfortable pushing the boudries, keeping the sex exciting, keeping you both wanting more. In the end it is communication that keeps it all going strong.

I just saw this thread. Very interesting. I couldn't agree with you more Time2Burn. I don't think I could have worded it better myself.
Let me add, temptation is around us everyday, even when we are not looking for it. But it doesn't mean we need to act on it, or does it?

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalMP HE is bad for HER?? Didn't she stray first?? You women and your fucking double-standards are unreal.

WHOA TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH!!! I was saying that the relationship in general, staying attached, is obviously bad for BOTH of them and very unhealthy...I was saying that she should just get over it because HE HAS!! Chill the fak out!!!

It's all a matter of communication. She doesn't know how he feels about the girl, just like he never knew how she felt about the guy she was bangin'.

He was probably hurt the most, but a long conversation could possibly put them back together. Although, it would be wrong to pull him away from the new girl, and might be best to ask one of his friends how he feels about her and the new girl before making any moves.

so what constitutes the actually cheating? sleeping with someone else?


or does flirting/kissing/desiring count also?

quote:

Originally posted by Porky so what constitutes the actually cheating? sleeping with someone else? or does flirting/kissing/desiring count also?

The key is talking with your SO, because you never knwo what will offend them. Of course, something harmless to you might be something that offends them, but that's what these discussions are for.

Furthermore, you also need to talk is you plan on dating around, assuming you're only "seeing each other", when they're falling for you and wouldn't even look at someone else, assuming you feel the same way.

This is a big, big problem when people don't communicate, and that too, can lead to cheating (which never has any excuse).

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalMP This is a big, big problem when people don't communicate

i think this is the biggest communication problem between the sexes.

1. women don't like their men 'looking'

2. men are always going to be 'looking', as in their eyes will always wander and notice an attractive women and have at least an initial physical attraction.

quote:

Originally posted by Porky so what constitutes the actually cheating?

The best way to answer this is if your partner thinks its cheating then its cheating.

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalMP there could be a number of explanations. a) she never got over him, and found out that after some time away, he's still the one for her. b) he took a while to get over her, and waws very hurt when she moved on. it took him awhile, but either he moved on, or he said, i'm doing my best to make her jealous. c) for either the reason of getting over her or trying to make her jealous, he's been trying to score for the entire two months, but just recently made contact with a compatible life form.

thnx Dave!!

These are some really good explanations! Knowing their history and such I'd say its a mix btwn A & B...they are both mental about each other but I guess he was really hurt when she broke up with him and moved on and now she feels as if she's lost him forever! who knows?? I hope everything works out for her!! But atleast I can be there for her.... always!!!3

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalMP This is a big, big problem when people don't communicate, and that too, can lead to cheating (which never has any excuse).

I agree 200% ...communication is KEY....and guys/girlz communication DOES involve LISTENING to eachother !!! SOOOOOOOOOO IMPERATIVE!!!

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