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-- Anal sex appreciation thread.
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quote:

Originally posted by dj_bas I actually have a theory that whenever Bunny goes to hang out with her friends, while I'm at work, it's a drug riddled lesbocperience waiting for me to arrive. I find that is often not the case

lol, that reminds me of a funny story.. the year after high school i was hanging out a lot with this girl Jamie and like typical 18 year olds we used to get drunk and kiss each other. well we always hung with the same crew of guys and one weekend, one of our buddies wasn't there because he was chillin with his girlfriend, and when he found out that we were making out he got so pissed off that he missed out, and didn't talk to us for a week.

shit, there you go... a glimpse into my Caelaesque past.

me wants to try this anal sex thing tonihgt, I will let you all know laterz

quote:

Originally posted by dallastar me wants to try this anal sex thing tonihgt, I will let you all know laterz

you'll be like "wow it fills like im doing a big poo"

quote:

Originally posted by Xenocreator_PG_ you'll be like "wow it fills like im doing a big poo"

on second thought - nevermind!

quote:

Originally posted by l�cid lol, that reminds me of a funny story.. the year after high school i was hanging out a lot with this girl Jamie and like typical 18 year olds we used to get drunk and kiss each other. well we always hung with the same crew of guys and one weekend, one of our buddies wasn't there because he was chillin with his girlfriend, and when he found out that we were making out he got so pissed off that he missed out, and didn't talk to us for a week. shit, there you go... a glimpse into my Caelaesque past.

I fucking knew it!!

i just couldn't resist!!!

you're S.I.C.K. the whole lot of U!! all this anal sex talk..................












































































I am oh so turned on!!!!!!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by enferno my wife has wanted anal for over a year now, and i keep refusing.

wow, this bothers me. i absolutley love anal, but my girl will not give it up. i have had whores in the past that let me do it, to include the ex, but still dood, consider your self lucky, you have no idea how many guys get denied the brown whole suprise that want it.

+ =

required reading - Anal Sex: If she doesn't like it, you're not doing it right.

Guidelines for Anyone Thinking About Shoving Anything Up Anyone Else's Butt in a Safe and Pleasurable Manner

lol

quote:

Originally posted by l�cid required reading - Anal Sex: If she doesn't like it, you're not doing it right.

no kidding.

If you happen to be the one to clean your female partner's anus after you've had anal sex then always, always remember to wipe her front to back. This is extremely important because you could give her a yeast infection if you don't, which would be very unpleasant for her.

so where was i...

ohh yes -

so i hit up this 32 yr old over NYE... i mean i woke up in her bed NYD. but the point is i must've given it to her good cuz she was blowing up my cell for the next week.
now she's good looking and all. but 32. a fucking DECADE older than moi. and i just kinda tried to back out of it without making a big deal but it didn't work. let's just say bitch wouldn't take a hint.

so here's a guide of how to get a 32 yr old off your jock. you give in - right! - you give in and you just go there one night and just do your best. i mean really do you fucking best. about halfway through the session you finger her asshole - she's down you know she will be she's 32 - then lube it up and ka-pow! rock her all night long make both yous cum hard etc.
once she's passed out. literallly - shit in her fucking bed. i'm serious... you take your pants down (keep it clean grab TP) shit the fucking bed on your side. wipe your ass discard the used TP in the toilet. hopefully she doesn't wake up at this point - which she didn't. then you wake her ass up - make sure it's like 4-5 AM - as I like to call it "the dead hour". and you shake her ass awake you say "i gotta go can i have a kiss" as she gets halfway up for the kiss (still sleepy) maybe smelling something funky but not realizing. you take her head and just rocket it into the shit. (make sure you have all your stuff with you - you won't be coming back at this point) and you just walk the fuck out get in your car and drive. by then time she realizes what the fuck just happened you'll be halfway down the block and home free. yes your cellphone might get blown up but what you don't have to worry about is her telling someone to come kick your ass. and if she did her friends would probably laugh their asses off and call you a fucking pimp.

/problem solving.

quote:

Originally posted by josh4 so concludes my interest in this thread.

mission accomplished

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica

what


the


fuck

quote:

Originally posted by prolikewhoa what the fuck

yeah that's pretty much the reaction i was going for.

and coming from you it means alot.

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica so where was i... ohh yes - so i hit up this 32 yr old over NYE... i mean i woke up in her bed NYD. but the point is i must've given it to her good cuz she was blowing up my cell for the next week. now she's good looking and all. but 32. a fucking DECADE older than moi. and i just kinda tried to back out of it without making a big deal but it didn't work. let's just say bitch wouldn't take a hint. so here's a guide of how to get a 32 yr old off your jock. you give in - right! - you give in and you just go there one night and just do your best. i mean really do you fucking best. about halfway through the session you finger her asshole - she's down you know she will be she's 32 - then lube it up and ka-pow! rock her all night long make both yous cum hard etc. once she's passed out. literallly - shit in her fucking bed. i'm serious... you take your pants down (keep it clean grab TP) shit the fucking bed on your side. wipe your ass discard the used TP in the toilet. hopefully she doesn't wake up at this point - which she didn't. then you wake her ass up - make sure it's like 4-5 AM - as I like to call it "the dead hour". and you shake her ass awake you say "i gotta go can i have a kiss" as she gets halfway up for the kiss (still sleepy) maybe smelling something funky but not realizing. you take her head and just rocket it into the shit. (make sure you have all your stuff with you - you won't be coming back at this point) and you just walk the fuck out get in your car and drive. by then time she realizes what the fuck just happened you'll be halfway down the block and home free. yes your cellphone might get blown up but what you don't have to worry about is her telling someone to come kick your ass. and if she did her friends would probably laugh their asses off and call you a fucking pimp. /problem solving.

i'll have to try and remember that one, sounds fool proof

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica so where was i... ohh yes - so i hit up this 32 yr old over NYE... i mean i woke up in her bed NYD. but the point is i must've given it to her good cuz she was blowing up my cell for the next week. now she's good looking and all. but 32. a fucking DECADE older than moi. and i just kinda tried to back out of it without making a big deal but it didn't work. let's just say bitch wouldn't take a hint. so here's a guide of how to get a 32 yr old off your jock. you give in - right! - you give in and you just go there one night and just do your best. i mean really do you fucking best. about halfway through the session you finger her asshole - she's down you know she will be she's 32 - then lube it up and ka-pow! rock her all night long make both yous cum hard etc. once she's passed out. literallly - shit in her fucking bed. i'm serious... you take your pants down (keep it clean grab TP) shit the fucking bed on your side. wipe your ass discard the used TP in the toilet. hopefully she doesn't wake up at this point - which she didn't. then you wake her ass up - make sure it's like 4-5 AM - as I like to call it "the dead hour". and you shake her ass awake you say "i gotta go can i have a kiss" as she gets halfway up for the kiss (still sleepy) maybe smelling something funky but not realizing. you take her head and just rocket it into the shit. (make sure you have all your stuff with you - you won't be coming back at this point) and you just walk the fuck out get in your car and drive. by then time she realizes what the fuck just happened you'll be halfway down the block and home free. yes your cellphone might get blown up but what you don't have to worry about is her telling someone to come kick your ass. and if she did her friends would probably laugh their asses off and call you a fucking pimp. /problem solving.

Doesn't the first part of this story have to be true in order to do any of that?

quote:

Originally posted by dj_bas Doesn't the first part of this story have to be true in order to do any of that?

you obviously don't know me. so we'll just end that right there.

ok

Threw it down a few time..but not much of a fan. If it happens, thats fine but could care less if it doesnt.

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica so where was i... ohh yes - so i hit up this 32 yr old over NYE... i mean i woke up in her bed NYD. but the point is i must've given it to her good cuz she was blowing up my cell for the next week. now she's good looking and all. but 32. a fucking DECADE older than moi. and i just kinda tried to back out of it without making a big deal but it didn't work. let's just say bitch wouldn't take a hint. so here's a guide of how to get a 32 yr old off your jock. you give in - right! - you give in and you just go there one night and just do your best. i mean really do you fucking best. about halfway through the session you finger her asshole - she's down you know she will be she's 32 - then lube it up and ka-pow! rock her all night long make both yous cum hard etc. once she's passed out. literallly - shit in her fucking bed. i'm serious... you take your pants down (keep it clean grab TP) shit the fucking bed on your side. wipe your ass discard the used TP in the toilet. hopefully she doesn't wake up at this point - which she didn't. then you wake her ass up - make sure it's like 4-5 AM - as I like to call it "the dead hour". and you shake her ass awake you say "i gotta go can i have a kiss" as she gets halfway up for the kiss (still sleepy) maybe smelling something funky but not realizing. you take her head and just rocket it into the shit. (make sure you have all your stuff with you - you won't be coming back at this point) and you just walk the fuck out get in your car and drive. by then time she realizes what the fuck just happened you'll be halfway down the block and home free. yes your cellphone might get blown up but what you don't have to worry about is her telling someone to come kick your ass. and if she did her friends would probably laugh their asses off and call you a fucking pimp. /problem solving.

ti blyat chista ah-hui-yel... and I love it, I am glad to call you a fellow comrad.

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica so where was i... ohh yes - so i hit up this 32 yr old over NYE... i mean i woke up in her bed NYD. but the point is i must've given it to her good cuz she was blowing up my cell for the next week. now she's good looking and all. but 32. a fucking DECADE older than moi. and i just kinda tried to back out of it without making a big deal but it didn't work. let's just say bitch wouldn't take a hint. so here's a guide of how to get a 32 yr old off your jock. you give in - right! - you give in and you just go there one night and just do your best. i mean really do you fucking best. about halfway through the session you finger her asshole - she's down you know she will be she's 32 - then lube it up and ka-pow! rock her all night long make both yous cum hard etc. once she's passed out. literallly - shit in her fucking bed. i'm serious... you take your pants down (keep it clean grab TP) shit the fucking bed on your side. wipe your ass discard the used TP in the toilet. hopefully she doesn't wake up at this point - which she didn't. then you wake her ass up - make sure it's like 4-5 AM - as I like to call it "the dead hour". and you shake her ass awake you say "i gotta go can i have a kiss" as she gets halfway up for the kiss (still sleepy) maybe smelling something funky but not realizing. you take her head and just rocket it into the shit. (make sure you have all your stuff with you - you won't be coming back at this point) and you just walk the fuck out get in your car and drive. by then time she realizes what the fuck just happened you'll be halfway down the block and home free. yes your cellphone might get blown up but what you don't have to worry about is her telling someone to come kick your ass. and if she did her friends would probably laugh their asses off and call you a fucking pimp. /problem solving.

Crossed the line there. A real man wouldn't do that, it's sexual assault. No, it really is.

Prosecution:- ".. and after sex I fell asleep. Then I woke up and there was a funny smell, like excrement. The guy then pushed my head against the bed and I felt what I later realised to be excrement at the back of my head. He then ran away. I felt really embarrased and dirty, and went straight to the shower where I had to clean the excrement from my hair and body. Then I called the police"

Defence:- "lol"

Judge - Sentenced to 5 years inprisonment for Sexual Assault.

= Goes to jail, gets ass raped.

quote:

Originally posted by Synchronicity Judge - Sentenced to 5 years inprisonment for Sexual Assault. = Goes to jail, finally gets the anal appreciation he always wanted.

fixed

quote:

Originally posted by Synchronicity excrement at the back of my head. He then ran away.

face first.

and you walk away. no sense in running she shouldn't be chasing you at this point or anything....

you know what i don't think you get it at all.

pussies are for fucking, asses are for shitting. no thanks

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