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-- cheesiest /worst movies ever
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i think cheesy movies are pretty much defined by the 70's, 80's, 90's commando movie scenario.

1 man vs the entire russian, terrorist, vietnamese army. who has unlimited ammo except for the ending scene when they kick the ass of the main bad dude with their bare hands, good example is from braddock - missing in action III

chuck norris is going down some river in vietnam in some crap ass raft with some big fackin gun on it. the vietnamese army dudes blow his boat out of the water. the boat flips back up from capsized position and dum dum dum (ominous vamp) no machine gun and no chuck norris.... then he jumps out of the water and it goes slow mo as he probablyunloads 2000000000000000000000 rounds each one killing an enemy soldier while they are goin bananas with their guns and not one of the bullets even comes close... that is cheese at its best

rambo is another great example of cheese. rambo 1 isnt too too bad
but rambo two........ not to mention rambo 3.... that movie is a whole other story.

then there is commando with arnold..... or iron eagle III then there are cheesy 80's tv shows that should have been made in to ultimo cheese movies... airwolf and mcguyver come to mind there

and who can forget the classic canaon ball run with burt reynolds. or its classic sequel cannonball run 3 aka speed zone where they skip a lamborghini across a lake like a stone......

god i love cheese movies.....

Triple X has the most stupid one liners from mr vin diesel who can't act.

YAAAAAA

"The things im gonna do for my country..."


smells like kraft singles slices....


mmmm processed cheese

Death Race 2000

quote:

Originally posted by SuperFarStucker Fallatic logic. Intricacies don't make a good film, neither does tons of biblical allusions. At the very least it was poorly edited with all the useless fight footage. The trilogy climaxed way to early (the first one IMO) so in order to make it more dramatic and intense they had to cheesify it. YOu know, cuz it's gotta go out with a "bang", hence, its shittiness

i am no expert on editing so from a technical aspect it could have been poorly edited, i have no idea.

however, i dont think it went out with a bang nore was intended to, no one will be able to match the freeway scene for years to come. IMO they did exactly what they needed to do in the last one(life is better then death right?). And yes intricacies and biblical allusions do make a film beter: the same way they make a book better. do you think anyone would give a hoot' (haha i said 'hoot') about Hemingways 'Old Man and the Sea' if it wasnt riddled with them? i sure wouldn't.

quote:

Originally posted by JayD Agreed. Matrix Reloaded was a dissapointment definitly because I feel that most of the action sequences were there just to be there without point or meaning. The things that made the first so big were that not only were the action / storyline there, but they were there for a purpose. In Reloaded, the whole Neo vs Agent's sequence in the park was just there for face value. It was cool yes, but besides the fact that all the cgi used there will look obsolete in years to come (as it slightly already does look obsolete now) it was pointless. As well as the begining when Neo fights new agents. The french hotel fight was 1/2 face value (I say half because it had a point in a sense). First & Reloaded were the best ones in the serries IMO. Reloaded for the action scenes being there for a purpose instead of just to be there, and the same for the first Matrix. These both had great reference as well. It's definitly nerving, because with so much work, time, and money, I believe it could've been much better with just that little nudge. JaY

like i said you only saw it for face value ...

the fight scenes where long and drawn out for a reason ... they even made a point of it in the movie (Smith said "why keep fighting?") ... on one level i interpreted it to reflect to pointlessness of fighting, on another level someone might get something else out of it like the endless struggle between good and evil, could be anything. These movies werent just slopped together, that is for sure.


happy travels neighbor !

Need I say more?

^ Fer feck's sakes, the lad couldna even rap, forget act!

Has anyone mentioned Mission to Mars yet? For one thing, Gary Sinise does a shite job of playing the "good guy" in movies, and another, that was SOOOOOOOOO BORING

The 1984 version of Dune was horrible, as well

quote:

The 1984 version of Dune was horrible, as well

David Lynch's Dune was brilliant in every way, and none of the remakes since have even come close. Maybe you're thinking of the Allan Smithee cut now that was fucking cheese

For those of you older than 20 you might remember this one....GOD AWFUL...Even at 9 YEARS old I told my dad to walk out of the movie because I couldn't stand it anymore...He Agreed...

BLACK RAIN - WORST MOVIE EVER.





Oh and let us not forget this movie...I heard you either loved or hated this movie....I just threw up!

quote:

Originally posted by Harmonic BIG CHEESE!

lol I liked that movie when I was a lil' kid, lol.

btw:



Cheesy as the thickest melted cheddar, but man, I love this movie!!! So funny.

It's Big!
It's Fat!
It's Cheesy!

hey, a movie staring patrick swayze and Meat Loaf cant be all that bad right?

and i cant forget Camp Blood (1999) and Camp Blood 2 (2000) WHY DID I BUY THESE!!!!!!!!!

ohh ya cause its a 3d slasher flick

Titanic

Men in Black I & II

Independence Day

Matrix III


...

Dolph Lundgren and Courteny Cox??? o ya thats right

HE-MAN and the masters of the universe.....


sooooooooooo cheese


and lets not forget vanilla ice's stunnign performance in ninja turtles 2, although tmnt 1 was bad enough.. dude...

quote:

Originally posted by colonelcrisp Dolph Lundgren and Courteny Cox??? o ya thats right HE-MAN and the masters of the universe..... sooooooooooo cheese

That movie was awesome, I don't care what you say.



I still say this is the cheesiest movie in the history of film.

One of the WORST:

jesus christ why cant i stop thinking about htis topic. here goes my latest additions

army of darknes - yes it is a cult classic but cheesy none the less. and if you dont like it you can suck on my boom stick.... shop smart shop S - Mart
The Labyrinth - again another classic example of why david bowie is god but it agian is cheesy....
Starship Troopers - not only is it a blatant rip off of starcraft not to mention aliens. its pretty cheesy
Deep Blue Sea - another reason why RAP STARS SHOULD NEVER ACCEPT ROLES IN MOVIES.... LL NOT SO COOL J stars along side the great samuel L in this craptacular flick
Dusk till dawn - hands down the worst movie tarantino or salma hayek ever put their names beside (all though salma was smokin in this flick) it was cheese factor of 1 billion....and on a personal note, if i ever become some blood sucking deamon and someone smokes me over the head with a condom filled with holly water, im going to rip their head off and shove it up their @#$
Tron - a pretty good flick but its still Atari 3d. and mega cheese... which brings me to my next 80's induced classic
THE GOONIES - HEY YOU GUYS.... its capitain chunk here, now that chunk is a movie producer and the gooniest of the goonies has had a pretty decent career staring in rudy... still cheesy... way to go one eyed willy
Bill and Teds excellent adventure / bogus journey - how no one mentioned these choice pieces yet is beyond me... with such memorable characters as "the princesses" "the robot us's" "rufus" "ted theadore logan" " Bill S Preston Esquire" and the list goes on. may the wild stallions rock on



thats it for now. sorry for the long post. but i decided to get it all out at once

Agreed Masters of the universe is an awesome movie, but cheese none the less...


to bad ferry or AVB cant use their syns to warp through dimensions like they did in that movie.... all though they kinda do anyways...

Starship Troopers was actually written by Robert Heinlein in 1959, in case you were wondering.

yeah, for sure the synthisizer plot was pure cheese, but what can you expect for the 80's?

quote:

yeah, for sure the synthisizer plot was pure cheese, but what can you expect for the 80's?

only the greatest.... only the greatest.... it was the time


as for starship troopers, didnt know it was written that long ago, i was more ooking at teh visuals of it the dropships looked retartedly similar to the ships in aliens and starcraft. not tomendion the marines vs wierd bug things... etc etc... i wasnt commenting on the actual plot line. nice bit of trivia tho thanks

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie

i could be wrong but i think this is the only movie that features David Letterman (as an actor and not a voice)

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