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I <3 Zoolander.
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| Originally posted by Seventil She spent a good 3 hours in the hospital after our first time. That's what you get for trying to be a pornstar your first time. Needless to say, it did give me a big ego for a while. |
New subject.
Guys: What do you say during sex?
When you're going at it: Do you think or say things like:
"Oh yeah! You like that? *slaps ass* Want daddy to give you more" (Porn starish)
or
do you do the subtle "Peter North" sort of approach"
"Ohhhhhh Yeah. *silence* Yeah. *more silence* Ohhhhhhh"
or
do you not make any noise or talk at all?
Women:
Which do you prefer?
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| Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie Btw, did she need stitches?? |
No, going to the ER to get stitches after sex is definately NOT normal.
have you ever seen the movie ICHI the KILLER? They needed more then stitches after sex.
DAMNIT! I wrote a whole response, and then it somehow disappeared. (Probably because I have about 9000000 windows open, and I accidentally closed it 
)
Anyways, I responded to the embarassing moment thing:
My most embarassing sexual experiences were my first FEW times. As most of you know, I am a tiny girl. Well when I lost my virginity, I was about 80 lbs, 5 feet tall, and believe me, EVERYTHING is in proportion, if you know what I mean.
Well lucky me, I just happened to get a well endowed boyfriend. After the first ten minutes my very first time, we had to stop because it was so painful. We didn't try again for about a month afterwards because I was too scared
Finally I got fed up and told him to "JUST GO!" He did, as I bawled, and he started crying too (guess I was too tight for him). I have never felt so much pain inflicted on me by another human being. He felt so horrible for hurting me, and I waddled for a week, but it was worth it. After that, with practice, it continued to get better and better.
Funny thing though, was that I told all my girlfriends that sex is the most painful experience, and scared them all. They were all virgins at the time, but slowly they came to me and told me how I was wrong. I guess I just didn't realize that the guy I was with, was well over average.
The End.
One night I was having sex with my ex, and I had to stop him in the middle of it because I had to puke *drinking*. I felt really bad. LOL! (Happened more than once 
)
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| Originally posted by Theresa One night I was having sex with my ex, and I had to stop him in the middle of it because I had to puke *drinking*. I felt really bad. LOL! (Happened more than once ) |
did you girls have after-devirginized breakfasts or night outs or anything like that? where you go out with your friends??
i remember i got invited to one once and it was pretty funny...i didn't know girls did that kinda thing HAHAHA
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| Originally posted by Floorfiller did you girls have after-devirginized breakfasts or night outs or anything like that? where you go out with your friends?? i remember i got invited to one once and it was pretty funny...i didn't know girls did that kinda thing HAHAHA |
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| Originally posted by Floorfiller did you girls have after-devirginized breakfasts or night outs or anything like that? where you go out with your friends?? i remember i got invited to one once and it was pretty funny...i didn't know girls did that kinda thing HAHAHA |
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| Originally posted by prolikewhoa my mom and her best friend took me out to dinner after i got my period... |
oh yeah. our neighbor that we have had to come to our front door to tell our family that her daughter had started to wear a training bra
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| Originally posted by prolikewhoa my mom and her best friend took me out to dinner after i got my period... |
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| Originally posted by Floorfiller ok so here is my pee story for those that didn't get it over MSN so i'm dating this girl. and we've been together "intimately" a few times  . i don't really think much of it at the time, but she always seems to have to go to the bathroom after sex. so this one time, we're getting things going. She is starting to orgasm and she just starts pissing all over me . it was totally an uncontrolled thing (prolikewhoa already explained the functionings of the female anatomy to me hehe ). so anyway, needless to say...she was embarrassed as hell, but i down played it like it was no big deal. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Floorfiller did you girls have after-devirginized breakfasts or night outs or anything like that? where you go out with your friends?? i remember i got invited to one once and it was pretty funny...i didn't know girls did that kinda thing HAHAHA |
PARTY!
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| Originally posted by Dr. Cfire I work In a grocery store and we get these kind cake orders all the time: Congratulations *BLANK* on becoming a woman. We are not talking small cakes either, like full slab 100 person cakes. |
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| Originally posted by Dr. Cfire I work In a grocery store and we get these kind cake orders all the time: Congratulations *BLANK* on becoming a woman. We are not talking small cakes either, like full slab 100 person cakes. |
Thanks Amelia, for directing me through the last 15 pages. Where to begin...
What do I say during sex? "Fuck, you feel good", or "goddamn that feels good". If she breaks out the dirty talk, I'll get dirtier, don't you worry.
My most serious ex was too tight for me. That never got better. Every time we had sex, it hurt her, even after 1/2 hour of foreplay, though it did help. I've had several exes call me the day after sex, happy as hell that they couldn't walk the next day, and making sure I knew that I was the reason why. But that was only from a combo of being big AND fucking her for a couple hours.
I don't rock it to hurt a girl, though I know I can. That's just fucked up. It doesn't make you a man to have a big cock, it makes you a man to use it to make your girl feel good. That means using your 4 incher to hit the right angles, or your 9 incher to prepare her for some hard slamming, but only when she's ready, and only so it feels good.
Fuck...stories. Mind you, these were all back in the day. In recent years, I've changed my ways a lot, and only have sex once every 3-4 months when I'm single. With that disclaimer in mind, our feature presentation:
#1
Back during my first undergrad, I was a pledge of my fraternity. My best friend was pledgemaster, who sets the schedule for pledge events, but also assures a pledge's rights are preserved. However, he was out to get me, so no one thought I'd have an easy time, since we were friends.
His girlfriend during that semester had a homely friend (though her body was nice) from her home near Oswego that was coming in for St Patrick's Day. I was so fucking trashed, and she was on me like glue. He thought it would be funny to "make me" fuck her. So, the four of us went back to her apartment that night, and things got hot, but Big D wasn't getting very big that night at all. She's like, "do you always have this problem?". I said, "well, maybe it's just the effect that you have on me." I wasn't upset to disjoin that union at all.
#2
I went out to a club to meet a bunch of friends fro a drink or two, since I worked in the morning. Probably about 30 friends made up of about 10 mini-groups that all knew each other, at least as acquaintances. An ex of mine asked me to meet her up there, and her intentions were obvious. That was cool, but we hadn't seen each other in about a month, though neither of us had seen anyone since we split up. So, at the club, I'm ready to leave, and Kelly asks me if I need a ride home. I tell her 'sure', knowing her intentions before i even got there. Well, her friend, also named Kelly, asks me if I want a shot when I say goodbye to her. I kill a shot of crown with her, and two more shots are waiting for me. I say, "what are you trying to do to me?". She replies, "Isn't it obvious?" Kelly #1 visits us and asks me if I'm ready, and I tell her I'm staying a bit longer. She gets pissed and leaves, and Kelly #2 and I leave and fuck for a good 2.5 hours. I haven't seen her since. She moved to Cali, and Kelly #1 and I dated again a couple years later, but only for a couple months.
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| Originally posted by DigitalMP "well, maybe it's just the effect that you have on me." |
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| Originally posted by UWM lol. ouch. |
trust me dude I know all about pledging and the rigors of it 
Oh gawd, here we go. Duck and cover girls, the frat boys are in...
you frat boys make me sick. having to have sex with random hot chicks in closets and involving yourselves in blowjob contests...all of it disgusts me...
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| Originally posted by Floorfiller involving yourselves in blowjob contests...all of it disgusts me... |
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