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-- My Confusion ( Girls )
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Originally posted by DigiNut My thoughts exactly. I've got no problem with flirtation in threads, but if you're going to have an entire long-winded conversation that has nothing to do with the original topic, please use the button.

lol... Yes, I'm the first one to do so here on TA.
Besides, the point was already made two pages ago.

I can't believe this thread has 11 pages.

quote:

Originally posted by AmbiguousBliss lol... Didn't you already post something about TA having started as a single male support group?

oh yah that's rite .. stupid me. If Swamper started advertising the chillout room on some online cougar messageboards he could make a killin!

s00n to be the 12th page

u know whats even crazier its been 12 pages without any flames....i think this is a tota record congrats guys

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Originally posted by Vivid Boy u know whats even crazier its been 12 pages without any flames....i think this is a tota record congrats guys

*knocks on the wood*

quote:

Originally posted by hardcore trancer *knocks on the wood*

SCREW U U BASTARD>>U JUST FUCKIN JINXED THE WHOLE FUCKIN THING>>>U FUCKIN TOSSER GO DIE ALRIGHT JUST DIOE ALREADY!!! UR MOMA IS SO FAT IT TOOK UR FATHR 12 MONTHS TO FIGURE OUT HER TITTIES WERENT HER KNEE CAPS

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy SCREW U U BASTARD>>U JUST FUCKIN JINXED THE WHOLE FUCKIN THING>>>U FUCKIN TOSSER GO DIE ALRIGHT JUST DIOE ALREADY!!! UR MOMA IS SO FAT TO FIGURE OUT HER TITTIES WERENT HER KNEE CAPS

thatll never work...ive been here forever and posted many a things that i thought for sure would land me not just banned but prosecuted and i never even got suspended....ive iven up on trying to be banned...i just accept the fact that i am the one....

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy thatll never work...ive been here forever and posted many a things that i thought for sure would land me not just banned but prosecuted and i never even got suspended....ive iven up on trying to be banned...i just accept the fact that i am the one....

looooooooool!!!

ya I've seen u try alright,the mods must love u!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy and that dude would have never came into ur life if he didnt approach u...u girls can wait for it because guys approach girls not visa versa (well its rare)...so if we wait for the perfect girl to come running into us by fluke itll never come...this is to the guy who started this post...dont take these women advice...theyre talking abt their part in the game, the male part of the game is way different, we're on the offensive theyre on the defence...thats twhy they keep saying wait and itll just happen...cause they dont have to do any work....now get out thre take my advice in other posts and play ur part of the game...be the man who just appeared into these girls lives be the man that gives them butterflies in the stomach...take control!

So wow. Last time I looked, this thread was on page 3, but anywho, sorry for the delayed response!

Just wanted to say that the aforementioned "dudes" in life came into my life because I chose to have them there and because I did a lot of the initial footwork, so to speak (ahem, Vivid Boy). I went after them, and started the ball rolling in a lot of the cases, and, some might even say, most of them. I'm from Montreal, don't'cha'know Seriously though, I did make a lot of the first moves, 'cuz a lot of the guys I've liked and been involved with have been the shy type (which really appeals to me). Anyway, just wanted to clarify that for you, even though it was 8 pages ago!!!

And yes, Spyder, I do miss the butterflies too... but I get a different species now, less in the tummy and more in the heart region (and no, it's not heart burn, for all you thread hijackers out there)

Awright, enough plur, I'm uber "le tired" - this must be my longest post ever, and all over the map as well... Oh well....

^ I just have to clarify, because there are some girls (not implying that you are one) who literally think that just walking by a guy or making eye contact constitutes making a "move." That and smiling, twirling their hair, getting flirty after the guy starts a conversation, etc. Those may be signals to observant guys, but not moves.

So I'm wondering specifically if you:
1) Said the first words?
2) Asked for his number before he asked you yours (or gave him yours without getting asked)?
3) Made the first call?
4) Arranged the first date?
5) Initiated the first kiss?

There are some *rare* girls who do this, but let me tell you that even 1 out of the 5 is not something any guy should *expect*. If you are one of these rare types, you speak from your own experience, but I don't think it holds true for the general case.

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut ^ I just have to clarify, because there are some girls (not implying that you are one) who literally think that just walking by a guy or making eye contact constitutes making a "move." That and smiling, twirling their hair, getting flirty after the guy starts a conversation, etc. Those may be signals to observant guys, but not moves. So I'm wondering specifically if you: 1) Said the first words? 2) Asked for his number before he asked you yours (or gave him yours without getting asked)? 3) Made the first call? 4) Arranged the first date? 5) Initiated the first kiss? There are some *rare* girls who do this, but let me tell you that even 1 out of the 5 is not something any guy should *expect*. If you are one of these rare types, you speak from your own experience, but I don't think it holds true for the general case.

If sitting on the guy's lap and kissing his neck does not constitute a first move (in the privacy of his own home, mind you), then I don't know what does!!!!!!!!!!!
Most of my first "moves" were in the range of your categories 3-5 Aaron. When I get a bee in my bonnet, I get a serious bee in my bonnet!!! (and you can quote me on that Margaret!) Especially when it comes to boyz

quote:

Originally posted by Pixiechick If sitting on the guy's lap and kissing his neck does not constitute a first move (in the privacy of his own home, mind you), then I don't know what does!!!!!!!!!!!

But who approached who and did the "pickup" in the beginning? And did he invite you over or did you invite yourself?

Not to be ragging or anything, I give a lot of credit for making the first physical moves too - most won't do that either. I just don't want any of the guys here to misinterpret your words and think that they can just sit there twiddling their thumbs and wait for someone to come up to them.

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut But who approached who and did the "pickup" in the beginning? And did he invite you over or did you invite yourself? Not to be ragging or anything, I give a lot of credit for making the first physical moves too - most won't do that either. I just don't want any of the guys here to misinterpret your words and think that they can just sit there twiddling their thumbs and wait for someone to come up to them.

Fair enough...
I'd rather not get into any more detail about this particular situation, but he invited me over, but (and NO ONE is going to believe me here) as a friend, and then, well, yes, etcetera, etcetera. Bad example anyway.

I understand what you're asking, and it is hard in retrospect to separate who did what. All I know is that when I was interested in someone, I made it known, and not just by twirling my hair or batting an eyelash here and there. But I do agree that some girls don't make it obvious (same could be said for guys though). I maybe made it too obvious

It's like Beh said earlier (if I remember correctly) - you need to find the balance between moving forward towards the person and letting them come to you. And by letting things happen, I didn't really mean being lazy about it and sitting by the wayside, idly twiddling your thumbs, waiting for situations and people. I guess I see it more as that fine balance (one of my fave books by the way!) again, letting things happen but not letting things pass you by at the same time.

Grrr.... this is harder to articulate than I initially thought!!!! Don't even know if I've answered your question... Sigh!

All I know is that after years of suffering through one-way crushes and an all-girls private high school (yup!), things just kinda started happening of their own volition at a certain point, and then BAM! when it rains, it pours... thank goodness

p.s. and I have NEVER met anyone in a club. Most of my partners were either from work (at HMV in Montreal - glorious pick-up spot!!!!) or from school.

Erika, YOU suffered through one-way crushes? I don't believe it!!

Anyway I do see your point. And of course you're right, coming on too strong is no better than coming on too weak. Letting things happen = letting them make the next move, after you've made yours.

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut Erika, YOU suffered through one-way crushes? I don't believe it!! Anyway I do see your point. And of course you're right, coming on too strong is no better than coming on too weak. Letting things happen = letting them make the next move, after you've made yours.

I certainly did suffer through a lion's share of one-way crushes... bad skin, braces, a perm! yes, a perm!!!!!!! all conspired to keep me away from the boys of my dreams That, and I was surrounded by girls for my entire length of high school

quote:

Originally posted by Pixiechick I certainly did suffer through a lion's share of one-way crushes... bad skin, braces, a perm! yes, a perm!!!!!!! all conspired to keep me away from the boys of my dreams That, and I was surrounded by girls for my entire length of high school

Aw

Actually it's interesting, now that I think about it, most of the "nicer" girls I've met have some [relatively] sad childhood story to tell. Coincidence?

Not that that has anything to do with the topic, but anyway...

quote:

Originally posted by Pixiechick Most of my first "moves" were in the range of your categories 3-5 Aaron. When I get a bee in my bonnet, I get a serious bee in my bonnet!!! (and you can quote me on that Margaret!) Especially when it comes to boyz

Do you really think I cruise around the Internet reading everything you write, and picking up cute quotes all over the place? Geez, you have a high self-esteem dont'cha? .

Anyways, I'm also into shy guys and I have made the first move with my bf pretty blatently. From first words to first kiss. He did have to finally ask me out but pretty much all the dates before that were initiated by me. I would have to make sure to be where he is all the time and join him and such other methods. And it still took him 5 months to realize I liked him. What a silly goof.

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut Aw Actually it's interesting, now that I think about it, most of the "nicer" girls I've met have some [relatively] sad childhood story to tell. Coincidence? Not that that has anything to do with the topic, but anyway...

this can give you a hint. pick them up while they are still in the sad developing stage and watch them grow into beauties like Erika.

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut Aw Actually it's interesting, now that I think about it, most of the "nicer" girls I've met have some [relatively] sad childhood story to tell. Coincidence? Not that that has anything to do with the topic, but anyway...

One of my closest friends (a female, yes) has had quite a turbulent childhood, and pretty much all the way through uni with bad relationships and everything, but after all of that, she turned out to be one of the coolest people I've met, so just to back up that argument

quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess this can give you a hint. pick them up while they are still in the sad developing stage and watch them grow into beauties like Erika.

HAHA!!!

I didn't know whether to write "Aw" or laugh at that last comment Margie... hilarious!!!

quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess this can give you a hint. pick them up while they are still in the sad developing stage and watch them grow into beauties like Erika.

It does follow logically that what you're saying would work, but I can say without hesitation that it's a bad idea. And I do realize that it was probably a joke, but just in case anybody decides to take it seriously...

Picking them up while they're in that "innocent" stage essentially kills the whole development process. It may sound stupid, but I think it ruins people being in serious relationships when they're too young to take them on responsibly. They don't have enough time to develop their own self-esteem and instead become dependent on attention from others. Instead of learning from their mistakes, they repeat them over and over again - whereas people who never had relationships (at least, not really heavy ones) at that age, never make those mistakes in the first place.

Strange but true, and yes I am speaking from experience here...

quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess I would have to make sure to be where he is all the time and join him and such other methods. And it still took him 5 months to realize I liked him. What a silly goof.

LOL I am EXACTLY like that. I had this girl who I knew at school once (would have out at pub nights sometimes, would see her at York all the time) come up to me during the first time I saw PvD and go "Chris do you think I'm beautiful?". I said "Yeah of course!" and did NOTHING beyond that! Go figure...I mean you'd think I'd realize if a girl was interested by saying something like that (and it wasn't in a way that was that she was asking as a friend, I realize that now (2 years late). Ah well. Shit happens.

quote:

Originally posted by Endlesswave LOL I am EXACTLY like that. I had this girl who I knew at school once (would have out at pub nights sometimes, would see her at York all the time) come up to me during the first time I saw PvD and go "Chris do you think I'm beautiful?". I said "Yeah of course!" and did NOTHING beyond that! Go figure...I mean you'd think I'd realize if a girl was interested by saying something like that (and it wasn't in a way that was that she was asking as a friend, I realize that now (2 years late). Ah well. Shit happens.

eh chris...

was ur next line "OMG PVD IS KILLING ME!!!!OMG!! I DIE!!" ???

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