TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Chill Out Room
-- Post funny listings from craigslist in your area..
Pages (9): « 1 2 3 4 5 6 [7] 8 9 »
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Slylee HAHAHAHAHA http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/176368889.html I trim. I mow the lawn up top to basically look like a pizza slice with a bite taken out. I use clippers for this. As for the balls and taint I have set up a system that helps me shave them without getting bumps or redness. I took a balloon, blew it up, lathered it, and then practiced shaving it until I could do so with a surgeon�s precision. It took practice but I finally felt that I had it down after several tries, one crying spell, and the Rocky theme playing in the background. So I decided last night would be my first ball shaving with the new technique. So I get naked, do a shot of bourbon, and then strip. Oh shit, the blinds! Okay close them after waving to my neighbor and proceed to ground zero� my bathroom. Once in the bathroom I put on a headband and start shouting slogans at myself in the mirror. �Fuck yeah bitch it�s going down� �Look at you! Is that even hair? Who would want you?� �Yall ******s are gonna be smooth!� pointing to my wiry sack. Out with the bad air�in with the good. Okay so the tools are now all laid out. Three different razors. Gillette shaving cream. Water is running and Norah Jones is in the CD player. I don�t know why but her voice makes me want to shave my balls. But I digress. I splash a little cold water on my eggs so the bag will shrivel up. Good, nice and tight. My hands are shaking like leaves. Drip of sweat coming from my brow, and you bitches questioned the headband; I go in for the first hover stroke. I can�t do it. I drop the razor and pace. Fuck! All this prep work! All my training! All those popped balloons! Do it for the balloons kid, for the balloons. The voice in my head was familiar. Mickey? I grab the razor (cue inspirational music� you�re the best, arooound. Nothin� in the world can keep you down!) I have never spoken in tongues or had an out of body experience but this is what I imagine it is like. I was hitting angles that I never thought possible. I was upside down at one point. I woke up speaking Latin and had two leg nuggets as smooth as silk. The phone had shaving cream and a couple of pubes on it and there was no more bourbon. Today, my friends, I have the smoothest sack in DC. It feels like that Viagra commercial when that guy got his confidence back. I am walking into rooms just eager to show my newly shorn sack. New haircut? Nope, shaved my balls! Did you get that promotion? Nope, silky sack! You�re the best, around. Nothin� in the world can keep you down. You�re the best around�.. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Slylee http://miami.craigslist.org/cas/181136818.html  |
yea i know but it's just funny how she can't walk around the house unless she's naked, and she must fuck on demand in any 3 holes.
i would hope those dudes live on star island or some shit. to make it worth it at least.
http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/jwl/181266382.html
that one's mine.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by l�cid http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/jwl/181266382.html that one's mine. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DJ RJT I lol'd when I read that... |
i hope i can get rid of them!
Do those sites really work??
| quote: |
so are you a str8, bi, married or curious guy that needs to blow a huge load but cannot find a girl who will devour and enjoy your cock? then hit me up....nobody knows who you are but you get to enjoy a hot, deep, wet and awesome mouth that will take you to completion! nobody see each others face but their is porn playing in the background. it is awesome and you will enjoy it. I am ddfree and can deep throat and lick your balls. I am near the strip and the university and the best gloryhole around. so if you want head done very well......hit me up.... I will be open until 1am tonight....late. please include your age? stats? cock size? orientation? caucsian or hispanic only.... in return you will get contact info * this is in or around unlv and strip (by thomas and mack) * no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests |
Our eyes met during last night's orgy, but I didn't catch your name - m4w - 25
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2006-07-25, 10:48AM EDT
I wanted to talk to you, but you are so much more attractive than most of the middle-aged has-beens in last night's pile that I couldn't get a moment alone, or even as part of a threesome or foursome with you. There was a brief moment, while you were reverse cowgirling that old guy and jerking off two midgets while orally satisfying the butch chick in the leather chaps, when our eyes met, and it was magic.
First, I want to be clear that I wasn't calling you a filthy whore, it was the woman I was doggy-styling, and that was only after her repeated insistence that I talk dirty to her. I promise I would treat you more respectfully than that.
I also want to make clear that I don't normally go down on other guys, but since you were taken and she was the only other attractive woman there, and part of the package was that her husband had to get in on the action, well, desperate times call for desperate acts...
Anyway, the point is, I think I love you. I know, we've not met, and I don't think any of my semen actually ended up in you, though we can't be sure of that, now can we, but probably not, so that makes us complete strangers. But there was that moment, that electric moment, before you started to gyrate wildly and cry out in some foreign language (was that French? I love French), and before I had to take on that unsavory but necessary oral task that I'd just as soon forget, except for this persistent heartburn I've got today, when we connected, and it was as if I could see into your soul, and you into mine.
So can't we give it a try? All I'm asking for is a cup of coffee. And perhaps a threesome, if your roommate is hot, or if we meet a sexy stranger on the street. But let's just start by getting to know each other, okay?
Look, in this crazy, mixed up world we call earth, if you can't take a chance when you connect with someone even though you haven't yet fucked them, then when can you take a chance? Write back, my love.
that's a good one.
So I read 2 pages of this thread and I'm like
| quote: |
| I don't think any of my semen actually ended up in you |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Moral Hazard I want to be clear that I wasn't calling you a filthy whore, it was the woman I was doggy-styling, |
| quote: |
| Anyone ever been caught... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2006-07-27, 1:34PM CDT ...doing the most private of private things? Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on. There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons. I don't really don't know what else to say. |
| quote: |
| she treats me like a "dog" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2006-07-27, 8:17AM PDT I fucking hate you. I mean it, I feel ridiculous. Get it off. Lady, just because your boyfriend doesn�t want to settle down, doesn�t mean you should pretend that I�m a real baby in hopes that he�ll play along in your twisted game of �house�. I promise you�re scaring him off, and it makes you look insane. Think about it, you dress me like a Gap employee and tote me around like a damned fashion accessory. It�s disgusting, and you need to get your shit straight. Meantime, you can stop force-feeding me Altoids, you bitch. While I�m on the record, there are some other things I could do without, you psycho. Yeah, as it turns out, I don�t really care for the ylang-ylang oil massage. It�s not relaxing, it actually hurts and generally creeps me out. In fact, it�s damn close to rape. Oh, this just in, I�m not actually a fucking vegetarian. Do you honestly think that I prefer couscous and tofu over my lamb and beef nuggets?Lettuce wraps? Are you fucking serious� what is your damage? I would rather eat my own shit, and guess what, when you�re asleep, I do. Then I lick your whore face and laugh about it. Don�t even get me started on my name. Louis Vuitton? You superficial bitch. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? I�m already wearing the gayest sweater since the "Cosby Show", but you insist on naming me after an expensive line of European handbags. Seriously, fuck you. You make me look like a complete pussy and I hate you for it. For real, the next time you try to gel my hair, I will tear a hole in your windpipe. I swear to God I will. Not that you�d ever fucking notice, but you continue to place me in dangerous situations. Just yesterday at the dog park, I could feel the cold hard stare from a Doberman through my Kenneth Cole double-breasted pea coat. Shit, even the French poodle called me a fag, and he was wearing a beret. Do you have any idea what would happen to a dog like me at the pound? You don�t even WANT to know. I step in there with even a whiff of CK One on me, and it�s all over. It pisses me off that you don�t pull this shit on the cat (Although it�s probably because she�s a lesbo). I am really tired of the smug looks I get from that butch-ass feline. Just once I�d like to see you put an ascot around her neck and let her feel what this shit is like. Then she�ll realize it�s not funny, and I�m in real pain here. At the very least you could throw a flannel shirt on that dyke and even it up here, you owe it to me. I promise I will end all nine of her lives if I ever get a chance to chase her without these miniature Steve Madden patent leather urban utility boots strapped on my paws. Not that I�d get far; even without the shoes I still have to battle these Italian micro suede chinos. Listen lady, I�m at the end of my rope and I�ve been doing a lot of thinking (Yes, there�s a lot of time for that while you watch E!, thumb through your copy of People magazine, stopping occasionally to read the text message on your jewel-encrusted Sidekick). I have decided that I�m running away. I�m going to take my chances on the outside. Tomorrow morning, during doggy yoga, I am fucking gone, baby � and there is nothing you can do to stop me. The last thing you�ll see is my puckered little asshole as I�m out the door, but not before I leave a hot, soft and juicy turd pile right on my miniature doggy yoga mat � and I�ve got a half a pound of espresso beans and 3 bran muffins for breakfast to make sure it�s a good one. See you in hell, bitch. |
That dog one is funny as hell 
those are both fucking great.
| quote: |
| I lost my wife's ipod somewhere around the Caldwell library. It looks like all other ipods. Can be identified by it's content. All of the music on the ipod is gospel. $2 reward for it's safe return. $5 reward if you can assure me that you will never return it. |
http://toronto.craigslist.org/w4w/189430829.html
Scat - there I said it, god I'm embarrassed - 28
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: 2006-08-02, 8:09PM EDT
Hi girls. I know, you must think I'm nuts for even saying it. But for over two years, I have been curious about scat, and have never met a girl who has tried it or wants to try it. I see it very differently than most do.
As for me, I'm totally normal, cute or average looking, but have always wondered what it would be like to go to that point with a special girl, who I could trust enough to try it with. So if you have ever tried it, or are curious about it, I would love to hear from you. Serious only please, since this is not a "fantasy" for me, but something I would like to learn more about with the right special girl.
K.
this is in or around Toronto
Wikipedia search for scat: Coprophilia
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Coprophilia (from Greek ??????, k�pros - excrement and ?????, fil�a - liking, fondness) also known as fecophilia, fecalphilia or coprolagnia, is the paraphilia involving sexual pleasure through human feces, or rather to its excretion.
Coprophilia is the attraction to the smell, taste, texture or sight of the act of defecation as a primary means of sexual arousal and gratification. Erotic fulfilment with excrement may be practiced alone or with a sexual partner. A common slang term for this is "scat sex", other less common ones may exist. Except in the case of consuming feces, generally scat play is safe when played alone and safe with a partner if one uses protection so as not to come in direct contact with a partner's excrement.
Some coprophiliacs engage in coprophagia, the eating of feces.
That's just F'ing NASTEEEEE
i found the answer to my car/money problems!
http://fortlauderdale.craigslist.org/tfr/212411332.html
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/209064426.html
Jamie....is that with....or without the happy ending?
lol
all i got to say is that for 30k a day, there is going to be more than just sex expected from this whole thing...
s&m probably...
lol
Have you called the number?
Do it!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by XoxidE http://easttexas.craigslist.org/laf/179122053.html |
no i haven't called the fucking number. jerks!
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.