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-- Mormon mother "abuses" child, gets ridiculed by entire world
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Well, the Hungarian flag is just like the Italian one if you tilt your head

quote:

Originally posted by EgosXII light physical reprimands are not all bad, they're something that kids can UNDERSTAND

Bahaha, you're an idiot. Goodnight.

Sounds to me like jenny could�ve used more of the wooden spoon when she was younger.

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Originally posted by Miss Pie Bahaha, you're an idiot. Goodnight.

niiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhttttttttt~~~~~!

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Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN Sounds to me like jenny could�ve used more of the wooden spoon when she was younger.

tis never too late

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Originally posted by LiquidX I realized that you are the closest TA to me..until I go back to FL. I'm in Provo, UT heh.

I was beginning to think I was the only TA in Utah.

quote:

Originally posted by EgosXII

Hitting a child, no matter how lightly, is lazy parenting and it is not the only form of punishment they understand. Watch the supernanny video I posted. It may take a while to get them to do it the first few times, but with consistency and firmness, they eventually get it. They understand that when they misbehave there are consequences. More importantly, by clearly outlining why they are being punished, the child can associate behaviour to punishment and as a result, truly learn from their mistakes.

Hitting a child, again, even lightly, will only make them fear you and fear the pain. Aversion does not teach them why they shouldn't do something. If they stop doing it, it is because they are afraid of the pain, not because they understand why it shouldn't be done or because they respect what you have told them to do.

Not to mention that hitting a child, like Jenny already mentioned, teaches the child that physical violence is an appropriate method to resolving issues. This is when you see kids hitting others at school/on the playground.

It also can result in anger issues. A child who has been hit will feel weak, abused, and disrespected as a human. This can cause a lot of resentment and anger. Definitely not healthy.

The most important thing to discipline is consistency. Like Weiner mentioned, too many parents make empty threats - "you do that again, and you're in trouble" and then never do anything. If there is no consistency, they learn that they don't have to do as they are told because there isn't always a consequence.

Hitting a child can work, but it wont do the job intended. It might stop the behaviour, but not for the reasons one would want and there are a lot of repercussions. Discouraging behaviour out of fear does not outweigh the benefits of discouraging out of respect. If you are too lazy to be consistent with your children and make sure to punish them when they have done something wrong, every single time, then you shouldn't have kids.

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa Hitting a child, again, even lightly, will only make them fear you and fear the pain. Aversion does not teach them why they shouldn't do something.

Actually, it kind of worked with me

Although I wasn't hit as often (or as harsh) as this comment might make it look like... I was an unruly but nice kid.

quote:

Originally posted by THIS ENTIRE THREAD

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Originally posted by Lira I sort of messed up the order: That's my Jamaican/Italian/French-Canadian/Slovak accent with a Geordie twist.

I love it!



I was whipped when I was being a fcuker, I would have a hard time passing it as abuse, or saying it traumatised me in some way. I also don't count it as lazy parenting, as my parents were working all the time to make my childhood desirable.

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Originally posted by Miss Pie Bahaha, you're an idiot. Goodnight.

Obviously, sound reason and logic are not working with this one.

Time to beat some sense into him.

After all, there's ALWAYS exceptions.

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN Sounds to me like jenny could�ve used more of the wooden spoon when she was younger.

+1
This woman needs that cocky attitude spanked right out of her.

I'd like to know what makes children different such that they understand hitting differently from adults? NOBODY likes being fucking hit, for any reason. Jesus fucking christ.

I started skimming towards the latter half of the thread, so forgive me if I start repeating ideals here.

I was spanked when I was a child. Honestly, I've never really had a problem with that type of punishment as a whole, only how some people carried it out. For me, I was never spanked "on the spot" out of anger, nor was I ever hit so hard that it would leave any kind of real mark. My father would calmly inform me that I would be paddled, and there was a period of time where I would have to go to my room and... I guess, "prepare" for my spanking. Then he would come get me, have a chat about why I was being punished, and he would carry it out. I hated it, but it was an effective form of punishment for me. To me, this is a lot different than someone whipping their kid with a belt when they catch them in the act of doing something bad, yelling and screaming in anger, etc.

Now, fast forward to me being put in the position of a parent. Our little girl is 3 years old, and is one of those kids that's particularly headstrong in a lot of ways (she's great, don't get me wrong... she just has quite a little temper and can get bossy). As she was becoming a toddler, we were trying varying forms of punishment and trying to find what worked for her. We had discussed that neither one of us were outright opposed to the idea of spanking, but just had chosen not to do so.

One time, she was being particularly defiant and her mom decided to try spanking her. IMMEDIATELY after this punishment was carried out, she started hitting people... other kids, us, the dogs, etc. Huge red flag. We have decided that, for her, this is definitely not an appropriate punishment. She was clearly getting the idea to respond to negative situations with violence and that is not the message we want to convey. So, we have never spanked her since.

We have found that time outs are particularly effective for her, but I think it's important to carry those out appropriately as well. We have a particular "spot" in the house for time out, and she is required to sit there quietly for 3 minutes (and she almost always does so without issue). We take her to the spot, and say something like "I'm putting you in time out because I said X and you did Y, and that's not nice." She sits her 3 minutes, and we tell her again, "I put you in time out because I said X and you did Y. We want you to start listening when we ask you to do something. Okay?" And she almost always responds with "okay, sowwie" and gives us a hug.

Since having this experience, it has really changed my views on punishment. I'm not saying that I immediately judge or disagree with someone who performs corporal punishment... but I have found a method of correction which works better for me and I like that I don't have to resort to anything physical.

COR version: There is a right and wrong way to punish every child.

Who'd thought this be such a Hot Topic

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Pie I'd like to know what makes children different such that they understand hitting differently from adults? NOBODY likes being fucking hit, for any reason. Jesus fucking christ.

so would i, i kept asking you, and you finally said they're different (though earlier you said they were the same a number of times and used them in adult examples). i never said that, you did...


please explain

Sorry, I don't waste my time explaining things to idiots. You're grasping at straws here, for what reason I don't know. Fact is, you're wrong. Just move on.

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Pie I'd like to know what makes children different such that they understand hitting differently from adults? NOBODY likes being fucking hit, for any reason. Jesus fucking christ.

I�ll make the obvious point: they�re not different at all and in certain circumstances violence is absolutely the best choice when dealing with adults. Do cops just carry guns, pepper spray & tasers for looks? Bouncers always chat problem patrons out? WW2 was just a 6 years of people getting put in the naughty corner, right?

I don�t deny your research and the propensity for violence to cause more problems than it solves, however you�re in the problematic position that many of us received a moderate spanking back in the day, and didn�t suffer from immense psychological damage that you and textbook-regurgitator Theresa allege. Not saying its impossible or unlikely, just that I know I deserved a good smack and it was but one tool in my parents� arsenal of discipline. It didn�t make me violent at school or disrespect myself or any of the other supposed outcomes of abuse. It just kept me on the straight and narrow (in as much as that was possible, he). yes, there are always exceptions as you mentioned before, but there seem to be a lot of exemptions of people in the COR. Sometimes violence is the only thing some people understand, and rubber cooking spatulas are easily the best, they are malleable to ensure maximum contact with surface area.

You're wrong. I'm done arguing about it.

Psychology is hardly an exact science. For every child you don�t beat, im gonna beat 3.

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Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN Psychology is hardly an exact science. For every child you don�t beat, im gonna beat 3.

Just random kids off the street?

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Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Just random kids off the street?

Yeah, why not? Adds to character.

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Originally posted by Miss Pie You're wrong. I'm done arguing about it.

pretty much the epitome of psychological argument right here

We have entered a new era. One that shall henceforth be known as Piechology.

I've never been fond of Rhubarb, myself. Too extreme. I find that blueberry has made immense progress and is certainly not lacking in its fibrous delvings, but Apple still reigns as the most straightforward approach, as it best synergizes with a progressive dollop of vanilla ice cream.

And then there's Shepherd's Pie, though whom does this moniker refer to? Christ? Chomsky?

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