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- Australia
-- The Ashes 2006/07
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CALL me a philistine. Worse, call me un-Australian, but has mankind ever invented a more soporific waste of perfectly good time than Test cricket?
I try to get into it, honestly. One feels almost duty bound.
Rugby league is over for another year (all hail the mighty Kangaroos and all-conquering Darren Lockyer), so cricket is now apparently the national obsession.
In fact, it's now Sunday afternoon, and I've been listening to the third day of the Adelaide Test on ABC radio.
Well, sort of listening while I obey lawful directions from the long suffering Mrs Syvret who is waging her annual war on household clutter. (I don't know how the cricket will finish, but I can promise you that in our household the war on clutter is about as winnable as the Iraq conflict.)
Right now the commentators are debating what time it is in Peru � must have missed the relevance of that one while I had a brief but sharp domestic about whether surround sound systems can be defined as "clutter".
Anyway, perhaps the Peru digression had something to do with Paddington Bear. Or maybe seagulls � they have seagulls in Peru, and seagulls in the outfield are a staple of cricket commentators worldwide when the grass on the pitch is growing about as fast as the game is progressing.
Earlier in the day we were discussing daylight saving and the relative sizes of Australia, India and Siberia. As you do. Nothing worse than dead air, as they call it in the radio business.
It's a thrill a minute your Test cricket.
What was the headline in the Sunday papers? "BORE WAR � Poms ready to put Aussies to sleep" from memory. Says it all really.
Sorry, interruption time again. The subject on the cricket commentary has now switched to the Sixth Floor Museum in the Texas School Book Depository and Lee Harvey Oswald and signs about no hand guns. Fascinating stuff.
We'll soon interrupt this commentary for the cricket no doubt. Which as we write looks like it is heading for a thrilling fifth day draw. Can't wait to buy the highlights DVD, released one assumes by Insomnia Studios.
Maybe this is being a bit unfair. Cricket can be a fun game to play in the backyard on Boxing Day with your children, a wheelie bin, a tennis ball, and a plentiful supply of Fourex.
Like most Aussie children I played cricket when I was at school. In my case dismally. I'd argue it had something to do with being red/green colour blind and therefore only discovering where the ball was when it hit me in the temple.
Cricket can be fun when you attend a big game for all the spectacle and chanting and the colourful characters of the Barmy Army, beachballs, the Mexican waves and the beer wenches.
Damn.
Sorry about that � I forgot all the above fun has been banned these days in an effort to make cricket about as vibrant as a chamber music recital.
Live update time. The seagulls � 20 or 30 of them gathered in the outfield right now according to the ABC commentary � are quite like the British press pack. They peck each other apparently.
Hang about. We've now moved to the cathedral bells in Adelaide and what time Evensong is. Must remember that next time I'm in Adelaide, which those of you who have had the misfortune to visit would understand is probably the most appropriate city on the planet to host the world's most boring sport.
But wait. Ponting just punched a shot down towards the seagulls, which "should be quite interesting" the radio tells me.
Obviously there were no avian casualties, because now we've moved the topic to the Collingwood AFL team song and the Wombles. Talk about eclectic.
Wombles. Aren't they something to do with Wimbledon and where the tennis � which at least has rules that allow for a winner � is played?
Never mind, I'll keep listening on the off chance I might pick up a nice recipe � given one of the Pommy commentator's obsession with pies.
No. Stuff that. I might give it a break for a while now and crank up the surround sound (some wars are winnable). And Ponting's just out. I can't stand the excitement.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,2359...5007146,00.html
I can only watch test match cricket when Warnie is bowling. He is the whole package. The guy is surely in the top 5 sportsmen ever!
holy crap england is 7/97!!! australia might be able to snare a victory.
WARNEY!!!! you fucken beauty 
A recent english Poll was ran, and asked 100 females if they would sleep with Warnie! 90% answered they already had!
and he's having a fair bit of sex with the english cricket team too.
England 7/100
England lead by 138 runs.
Collingwood has faced 71 balls for 10 runs 
Minimum 55 overs to go.
I tell you what, if Australia was able to get the remaining 3 out in the next 10 overs for them adding no more than say 50 runs it would get very interesting.
45 overs to make 190.
Run rate of just over 4 an over...
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Philby WARNEY!!!! you fucken beauty |
8/105!
Cricket is dead once warnie retires!
mcgrath strikes! haha! come on aussies!!!
9/119!
Hahaha.
tell ya what, chasing 160-odd in a single session, it'd be tough but I reckon they'll go for it
If only I didn't still have work to do I'd wander over for a look, should be some nice hitting
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Trance Nutter tell ya what, chasing 160-odd in a single session, it'd be tough but I reckon they'll go for it If only I didn't still have work to do I'd wander over for a look, should be some nice hitting |
man this is an intense battle! fark what an over by warney, almost had him with the edge 
YES! GOT HIM!!! fuck yeah! come on!!!!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Philby YES! GOT HIM!!! fuck yeah! come on!!!! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Dean Millson Did you say that in a Richie Benaud voice? |
ah yeah, i meant Bil LAwry - fkd up lol
game is definately on.
i'm getting the score from baggygreen.com.au and i'm veen excited lol
Current Run Rate 5.33
Run Rate Required 4.44
If England lose it will make their first innings score the highest ever by a losing England side - that's gotta suck...
going to be a very interesting last hour, hopefully the poms can hold out for the draw
Ouch, that was fairly cruel of the Australians!
a very exciting finish to the match. cant wait for the melbourne one...
but goddamn it bill lawry stop jacking off over Warney on the air!
amazing fightback, to come back from nowhere like that, awesome effort.
Looking forward to reading the washup on this one tomorrow.
Ponting declared after the match that it was the bestwin he'd ever been involved with.
Pretty shattering stuff for England psychologically - to be in a position like that and lose must have them wondering what they have to do.
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