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-- An important and pertinent question [Domesticated's big, smelly thread about poo]
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quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated But then the shit would go everywhere when the paper was removed from your cheeks and started moving back to the 'unscrunched' position.

shit, being of strong binding fabric, keeps the tool together.

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated Also, I double fold. How is 6 sheets of paper between your hand and your hole not enough for you?!

are you saying that 6 sheets is UN standard or something?

i dunno, ive just never fancied origami while sitting on the shitter. at some stage i just felt that i had better control over the whole process by becoming a scruncher. and maybe sometimes i even vary, who can be sure?

me and a flatmate did keep a shit diary next to the toilet though for a while. i wish i still had that

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated p.s I stuck a pill up my bum on the weekend and got poo stuck under my fingernail.

haha, that's awesome.

Man, tear off 3 squares. Fold once. That's 2 x 3ply = 6 sheets (as he said). Plenty of paper.

quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Man, tear off 3 squares. Fold once. That's 2 x 3ply = 6 sheets (as he said). Plenty of paper.

lol. i know you've had an epiphany in this thread and evolved your toilet habits, but having been rather happy with how ive wiped my arse for the last ~27 years and i see no reason to change policy now

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN lol. i know you've had an epiphany in this thread and evolved your toilet habits, but having been rather happy with how ive wiped my arse for the last ~27 years and i see no reason to change policy now

What?

Oh no you idiots, I didn't switch because of this thread I switched a couple of years back. Was just saying I did when the inevitable conversation in a group setting came up, not this afternoon when opening this thread

quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Oh no you idiots, I didn't switch because of this thread

aww

quote:

Originally posted by Fledz not this afternoon when opening this thread

well obviously!

but in any case, im a little curious why it took you so long to figure out your preference for something you've had such practice at.

This just keeps getting better.

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN but in any case, im a little curious why it took you so long to figure out your preference for something you've had such practice at.

Who knows, maybe the same thing could happen with his gender preference?

Awwwwwwwwwww yeah.

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN aww well obviously! but in any case, im a little curious why it took you so long to figure out your preference for something you've had such practice at.

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated Who knows, maybe the same thing could happen with his gender preference? Awwwwwwwwwww yeah.

Oooh sick burn.

Highly unlikely though. I could never give up women.

wtf is this what you kiwis talk about around the dinner table too?

Well, so after yesterday�s discussion, I tried the 6-sheet-fold (I had to approximate though coz the stuff at work isn�t tear-off) and there�s definitely not enough paper between me and my arsehole. I have no desire to feel the contours of my arsehole during the cleaning process. Scruncher for life, baby!

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN Well, so after yesterday�s discussion, I tried the 6-sheet-fold (I had to approximate though coz the stuff at work isn�t tear-off) and there�s definitely not enough paper between me and my arsehole. I have no desire to feel the contours of my arsehole during the cleaning process. Scruncher for life, baby!

How can you wipe properly if you can't feel the contours?

It's like trying to paint a wall without looking, moulding clay with tongs or having sex with a condom!

Anybody use incense in the bathroom during such an occasion?

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated How can you wipe properly if you can't feel the contours?

well, I dunno about you but wiping for me isn�t rocket science. I know where my arse is. Years of gaming has given me exceptional hand-eye coordination, so even when my hand is out of sight, I know where it is too. Combine those 2 pieces of knowledge and voila! Clean arse.

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN well, I dunno about you but wiping for me isn�t rocket science. I know where my arse is. Years of gaming has given me exceptional hand-eye coordination, so even when my hand is out of sight, I know where it is too. Combine those 2 pieces of knowledge and voila! Clean arse.

Hand-eye coordination generally involves a hand being watched by an eye, or performing an action assisted by the eye, not having a hand shoved up your bum.

pkc you are an enigma

Wiping with a scrunched piece of paper increases volume but certainly decreases area. I'd say the chances of mudbutt-to-hand contact increases greatly with the scrunch method. Unless you have a gigantic ass and a comically small hand.

Sorry PKC, I'm with Domesticated on this one. Scrunching just strikes be as savage and uncoordinated.

quote:

Originally posted by bas the chances of mudbutt-to-hand contact

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated Hand-eye coordination generally involves a hand being watched by an eye, or performing an action assisted by the eye, not having a hand shoved up your bum.

well, I don�t know how stringent your cleaning methods are but I most certainly don�t "shove" my hand up my bum. to clarify tho- years of wiping my arse have given me extraordinary hand-bum coordination.

quote:

Originally posted by Demoted Anybody use incense in the bathroom during such an occasion?

I prefer the smell of shit than the smell of shit masked by flowery smells

What do you do with the paper after wards? It seems like if it were scrunched it would come undone in your hand and get up all on your wrists.

Christ, you disgust me.

quote:

Originally posted by bas pkc you are an enigma Wiping with a scrunched piece of paper increases volume but certainly decreases area. I'd say the chances of mudbutt-to-hand contact increases greatly with the scrunch method. Unless you have a gigantic ass and a comically small hand.

lols. Unless you�ve got parkinsons or something I see no reason why you guys assume that shit ends up anywhere other than where it is intended to go!

And im not scrunching it into a nice ball or something, just getting a nice, controlled grip on the collection of mal-formed paper and off we go!

And im not surprised you have no issues getting comfortable with the contours of your anus bas

i wipe in the shower

lol thread starter = Beat Blog

Seriously WTF?

quote:

Originally posted by r5a i stand up. its all about the butthole check. do a quick check in the mirror - you gotta strech them cheeks out make sure theres nothing left after a good wiping session with them papers.

That had me in tears!

I concurr with Sushi, this is probably on of the best threads in TA history.

I'm still perplexed at the fact that some people stand up while wiping. I mean, how did they ever come to the conclusion that locking the shit between the cheeks first is the best approach to having a clean anus?

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