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-- Who should pay for the date? *UPDATED*
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quote:

Originally posted by Spyder k i know we live in the new age and its not the 1950's but still i belive a guy should take the first step.

Why? So you can score a free dinner and movie?

quote:

Originally posted by Spyder what about the girls who actualy DO do things first?

I have yet to meet one.

We are not talking about being the man, and making the first move etc. That is a whole different issue. What we are trying to get at here is that "being the man" shouldn't mean footing the bill.

quote:

Originally posted by The Highroller Why? So you can score a free dinner and movie?

one i've NEVER gotten a free dinner and movie in my life. so i hate to say it dont know how it feels like, let alone dont abuse the "gift"

quote:

I have yet to meet one. We are not talking about being the man, and making the first move etc. That is a whole different issue. What we are trying to get at here is that "being the man" shouldn't mean footing the bill.

well then in all belife ... split the bill, for the first date. the second date same deal, then if it gets into a relationship, the person who inniciates the next date should be the one who should pay.

It works both ways.

I've had girls come up to me at clubs or in coffee shops, say hi, ask me out, and take me to dinner and out for drinks. Sure, I offered to pay, but when she insisted after the first attempt, since she asked me out, I told her, fine...as long as the next date's on me.

I don't necessarily think she should pay because she asked me out, but she's obviously a bit more liberated than other girls...I like that. It's also a good sing that later on, if we stick together for a few dates, that I won't have to make the first move when it comes to sex. That gets annoying.

It's also worked the other way too. With remants of chivalry still floating around in the world, I wouldn't EXPECT a girl to try to pay on the first date, but she should on the second...if not, it's the last.

I usually like to pay for dinner when I can, but I've had alot of girls pay for me, cause I wasnt either working at the time, or didnt have any cash, and they insisted on going out with me and having a few drinks and dinner. I dont really have that sort of pride, you cant put a pricetag on having a good time, so I try not to think about money too much. If anything I just say, I dont feel comfortable making you spend so much on me, we can do just as many fun things for practically free...Picnics and walks downtown for some ice cream. But in all seriousness, I hate not having any money. The last spree of not working was a from Dec. to May., and I am never doing that ever again in my life, life was shat.

Well, I'm glad that the ladies of TA agree that guys shouldn't be expected to foot the bill.

But let's remember, the ladies of TA seem to be (mildly ) sane compared to the "little princesses" that comprise most of this city.

quote:

Originally posted by The Highroller Well, I'm glad that the ladies of TA agree that guys shouldn't be expected to foot the bill. But let's remember, the ladies of TA seem to be (mildly ) sane compared to the "little princesses" that comprise most of this city.

Yeah, I have some snobby-rich bitch girls who are high school friends, I feel sorry for the guys that try to go for them, or out with them.

quote:

Originally posted by The Highroller Well, I'm glad that the ladies of TA agree that guys shouldn't be expected to foot the bill. But let's remember, the ladies of TA seem to be (mildly ) sane compared to the "little princesses" that comprise most of this city.

One by one, I leave them with a rude awakening and a spinning head. Consider me a civil servant.

I have a few of those little princesses working for me as well. Good workers but ive had to put an end to some of their bossiness when it comes to the male employees of the store.

Why are guys such pussies these days? If i were them and some co-worker bitch started with me id put her right back in her place. I'm serious when i say that the problem starts with pussy emasculated canadian men.

Boys vs. Girls

quote:

Originally posted by psychosomatica Boys vs. Girls

me vs. your avatar

There is still like 5 different conversations going on here. This could have been 5 different threads. And they say that we are just making useless threads, we are saving room here.

I just had a great thought tho.

All this paying for dinner and having split it is boiled down to sex.

1. Guys will pay for the dinner if they like the girl but are not sure if the feelings are returned and want to sleep with her at some later time.

2. A girl will offer to split the bill if she doesn't want to sleep with the guy because she knows about 1. and if she lets him pay that means he will think his advance was accepted. Golddigging girls will always accept because they hate men and love money.

2a. As a side note, a girl will flirtingly play hard to get and offer to pay the bill but now the guy may have to read body language and other cues to find out if the girl likes him.

3. Girls will pay for a dinner if they like the guy but are not sure of his feelings towards her and she wants to sleep with him at some later time.

4. Repeat if 2. but reversed.

5. Guys want sex a lot more often than girls, with many different girls. (evolution wise, the man wants to mate with as many females as possible). This means that they pay for dinner a lot more often.

Therefore if someone wants to pay for you, they want to sleep with you and if you refuse, you refuse their advance and the problem of not knowing who likes who is solved.

Richer people sleep with a lot more people because they are able to try this out a lot more often. ie. take more dates out and foot the bill.

Better looking people get to go out on more dates (and usually get them paid for) because a lot more persons of the opposite sex want to sleep with them.

(This applies to casual dating when you only go on one or two dates, long term relationships obviously follow different rules)

above theory may only work in north america....


I'll add another theory. Rich and good looking people may still not get to "test" this out because they have morals and beliefs that money shouldnt be what buys company.

quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 I'll add another theory. Rich and good looking people may still not get to "test" this out because they have morals and beliefs that money shouldnt be what buys company.

but we are not talking huge amounts of money here. it's only dinner. obviously there are rich people that will offer extravagant gifts but it works the same way, don't accept the gift if you don't want to sleep with the person.

north america and europe, at least western europe.

in other countries, buying dinner is exchanged for other things that couples do together and get each other.

Guys! I didn't think this would drag so much!

Regardless of stats, articles, opinions, experts- it is impossible to generalize. It is true that there still remains to be inequalities in the workplace, but in individual domains or companies; you certainly can't generalize.

For example, I work in a very male driven industry. On occasion, I meet another woman. And it's great when I do! It's extremely rare that I have been subject to discrimination, unfair treatment. In fact, I can only recall one such occasion, when I first moved to Toronto, and was looking for work.

I feel we have come to a time when these inequalities of salary, or workplace behaviour must be deemed on an individual basis. If one doesn't define their beliefs, or behaviour in context with the battle of the sexes, then it usually doesn't become an issue. Personally, in eight years in my domain, and working predominantly with men, I have yet to draw on the distinctions between our sexes, and I have had many amazing work experiences.

...Perhaps that may have not been the case if I wanted to be a DOP

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalMP It works both ways. I've had girls come up to me at clubs or in coffee shops, say hi, ask me out, and take me to dinner and out for drinks. Sure, I offered to pay, but when she insisted after the first attempt, since she asked me out, I told her, fine...as long as the next date's on me. I don't necessarily think she should pay because she asked me out, but she's obviously a bit more liberated than other girls...I like that. It's also a good sing that later on, if we stick together for a few dates, that I won't have to make the first move when it comes to sex. That gets annoying. It's also worked the other way too. With remants of chivalry still floating around in the world, I wouldn't EXPECT a girl to try to pay on the first date, but she should on the second...if not, it's the last.

I think you make a good point about the INTENT to pay... she should at some point at least make an effort to pay... of course I end up paying ("Don't worry about it babe, I got it. ") which makes me look that much beter.

So if a guy offers to pay then it means he wants to sleep with you in a future date...

But if a girl offers to pay...then it's a whole different story???

quote:

Originally posted by starsearcher So if a guy offers to pay then it means he wants to sleep with you in a future date... But if a girl offers to pay...then it's a whole different story???

I don't think one should presume anything. Some people are just friendly; doesn't mean they want to jump your bones, or anything. It could just mean they enjoyed your company and want to treat you. Why do people have to try and find the alterior meaning to everything! Enjoy the moment, be merry.

I think a girl should offer - but I am a little old fashioned. I like it when a guy pays for first date. After that is free game and left up for discussion....

quote:

Originally posted by Allegory I don't think one should presume anything. Some people are just friendly; doesn't mean they want to jump your bones, or anything. It could just mean they enjoyed your company and want to treat you. Why do people have to try and find the alterior meaning to everything! Enjoy the moment, be merry.

There you go...I like that explanation a lot better than StereoPrincess' Good attitude

quote:

Originally posted by starsearcher So if a guy offers to pay then it means he wants to sleep with you in a future date... But if a girl offers to pay...then it's a whole different story???

re-read the whole thing. i said it goes both ways. way to pay attention champ.

quote:

Originally posted by Allegory I don't think one should presume anything. Some people are just friendly; doesn't mean they want to jump your bones, or anything. It could just mean they enjoyed your company and want to treat you. Why do people have to try and find the alterior meaning to everything! Enjoy the moment, be merry.

and that's how niave people get into trouble and get told they lead people on. i used to be like this but have witness too many things to the contrary.

quote:

Originally posted by StereoPrincess re-read the whole thing. i said it goes both ways. way to pay attention champ.

Yeah it was a long read and I just saw the end of it


But just for the record from a male's point of view...paying for dinner or date or whatever has nothing to do with wanting to sleep with the person. Sure I want to bang the girl I'm with (I am assuming that since we're on a date i like her...), but when I personally offer to pay for her I am not thinking that me getting sex later will be the reason for it

quote:

Originally posted by starsearcher But just for the record from a male's point of view...paying for dinner or date or whatever has nothing to do with wanting to sleep with the person. Sure I want to bang the girl I'm with (I am assuming that since we're on a date i like her...), but when I personally offer to pay for her I am not thinking that me getting sex later will be the reason

it's not about thinking it at the moment. it's a natural instinct thing. you can't fight it.

if you like her more then she likes you or you don't know, you should offer to pay, if she accepts means that a) she likes you back and would consider sleeping with you or b) she is a gold digger and you will find that out pretty soon anyways.

that's why when you go out with friends you all split the bill unless it's someones birthday or one of you just won the lottery.

Hhhmmmmmmm....no I don't think I can agree with that...at least not most of the time. I mean I agree about me wanting sex...sure...but paying for her is not what I do to get it...well maybe it's just me I don't know...especially not on a first date kind of thing...

Sometimes I do pay for my friends actually...we'll go out, I'll buy a round of shots...it's no big deal to me.

The reson why I don't agree with you is because in this case I feel like I'm paying for sex...there are much better ways to get a girl into bed than trying to impress her with your money. So in my case personally I don't mix sex and paying for dates together...if I do pay really depends on who I'm out with and how I feel at that particular time

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it's not my problem if one thinks I'm expected to render any favours because I bought them a drink. This isn't the 50's.

Adults are old enough to know not to presume or expect anything from an outing, sometimes a fun or amazing outing just is. I'm sorry, but I am not one for games or insinuations; that's how things get misconstrued. If people just enjoyed the moment and didn't expect so much and conjure all these scenarios of what ifs then maybe they wouldn't be so disappointed with the outcome!

I feel that one should live in the moment, and stop living their lives in cinderella land where the prince or princess will sweep the other off their feet! If we want equality between the sexes, then we should stop presuming or thinking ahead or feel that one is alluding to something!

This is just my opinion. No one has to share it.

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